Dragon up!
Whoa!
Ya heard!
Jake! Get back to work!
Aw, man.
Hey, wake up. Wake up.
Come on, mom.
Just 10 more minutes.
Hey, hey, he put me out.
Come on. Hey, hey, pal, come on. Hurry.
Aah!
What?
Tail of the dragon.
You gotta let me in. I'm a troll.
About not letting strange creatures into the house.
As the American dragon to protect me.
Protect you? From who?
Not who. That!
And if my hair burns... take my word for it...
Really bad things will happen.
Under Bridges and in the sewers?
The sun is our poison.
I guess that makes sense.
Ok, I'll let you in,
but only for a little... Whoa!
Thanks.
That was a close one.
Ok. Now I just have to stay
out of the sun until, nighttime.
Sorry, dude. That ain't gonna work.
Ok. I can take a hint.
It's obvious that you hate me!
All right. Ok. You can stay here,
but you can't let my dad see you.
Or hear you! He doesn't exactly know
about the existence of magical creatures.
See, my mom's been working on
telling him since October... Of '92.
Quick! You gotta hide.
Whoa!
Check it. This is the guest bedroom.
We almost never have visitors.
You'll be safe here. Cool?
These shoes are stale.
You got any boogers?
Jake... Aah!
Don't let it eat me.
Shh! That's my mom.
Could I get a glass of water?
Man, what a freak.
Mom, I need to talk to you for a sec.
And we do not want her getting lost on the subway.
She's coming here? Today? To crash in the shoe room?
That's right, and don't forget,
you promised to vacuum before she gets here.
Hey, yeah, sure. No problem.
And don't be afraid to take the slow Lane.
Dude, I asked you to stay in the bedroom.
Dude, I asked you for a glass of water. So we're even.
Look, we gotta figure out
another place for you to hide.
And she's gonna be staying in the...
What is that? My sister.
Where's the remote control?
Hide!
Ooh. Ooh!
Hey, Haley.
Why is there a troll in the fridge?
Ha ha. Ok, look, Haley.
This troll is gonna hide here for a while,
but this is gonna be a secret.
I'm telling mom.
Well, I'm glad that's settled.
I better get ready for my date.
Since w-w... you didn't tell me you had a date.
Hey, some things are private.
Could this be one of them? Gross!
Maybe that's for me.
No! Wait here.
No, wait.
Wait here.
No, wait... Wait here.
Coming!
Hey.
You're not supposed to be here.
Not, I mean, not here yet.
I took an early flight.
Your father. You'd think I'd never been on a subway.
Hi. I'm at your house, where do you think?
You are such a head case.
Ok. I'll see you in a bit.
I used to live here, you know, when I was in college.
So, where's my favorite little girl?
Whatever you do, don't take a shower.
Ooh, you know, actually I could use a shower
now that you mention it.
Aunt patchouli, let me, um,
show you where the clean towels are.
What? Ooh. Ooh.
Aah!
I'm just gonna check on that towel situation for you.
Gonna be right back.
Nose of the dragon.
Ha ha! Take that, hairball.
Hey.
Towels on the... Towel rack.
Thank you, and now if you don't mind...
Sure thing. No prob.
I'll just be outside if you need anything.
You are so busted.
Ooh.
Hey, jakey, are you sure these towels are clean, honey?
Wait. Do you smell burning hair?
Yeah. I burned up that nasty hairball
what? I was trying to stay out of the sun for a reason.
Do you have any idea what happens when you burn troll hair?
Hey. Ouch!
I put your things in Haley's room right here.
Could this get any worse?
We're home.
Aw, man.
Mommy, daddy, guess what?
Aunt Patty's here!
And you know what else?
Patty, we would've picked you up at the airport.
Like I need a chaperone. Come here, you.
Quick, hide him!
Please?
I don't care! Anywhere.
So I bet you can't wait
to get out and do some sightseeing,
where are you two taking her first?
Statue of Liberty?
Empire state building?
Aah!
I can't go anywhere.
I'm meeting someone here.
Here? At the house?
Is it that special someone
you told us about in your letter?
We're just old friends,
but I think he's taking me to dinner!
So you're gonna stay here... All day?
What on earth was that?
Rats! In the attic!
Doh! I'll go get the new traps.
No!
I'll take care of it, pop.
Hide him in the basement!
I'll handle the fur balls.
Come on!
You mean down there?
Boy.
All right, dust bunnies.
Come to papa.
Dragon up!
Hyah! Ha!
Whah! Ha!
You all want some of this?
Whoo! Ha!
Yeah!
Whoo! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Take that!
Get off me, you little... aah!
That ought to hold 'em...
For like, 2 seconds.
Dude, I need your help!
Your crazy fur friends are out of con...
Troll?
I forgot you wore your hair like that!
Hey, now, that look was very p-fat at the time.
Ooh! Is that him?
The old friend from college?
Yeah.
That's my Stanley.
Sure, I'll have a tea party with your dollies.
Why aren't you in the basement?
Is this where you keep your dollies?
No! Don't!
It's time to end this.
Dragon up!
Jacob long, what is all that racket?
Nothing! Ha!
I'm just vacuuming... Aah!
Like you told me to.
That's it!
The vacuum!
Say your prayers, dirt balls.
What in the name of everything decent is going on up there?
Whaa!
What was all that noise?
Noise? I don't hear a noise.
Except for the sound of me
saying how cool it is
to have you here, aunt patchouli.
Boo-yah!
Ain't big enough for the both of us!
Boo-yah! - Mama.
Hi, mom.
Jake let a troll in.
You know, he's right, Patty.
Maybe you'd like to see the, um,
statue of Liberty.
You have been keeping something from me since I got here,
and I want to know what.
Hi.
Stan!
I didn't think you'd be here for 3 more hours.
Look, it's Stan!
From the picture!
Stan?
College Stan!
Stan and Patty have a date tonight.
I just got here a little early, and, um...
And I just wanted to keep him a surprise
from aunt patchouli
until just the right moment.
Why don't we all go down to the living room and catch up?
We will talk about this later.
Busted!
If we want to make those 9:30 reservations.
It was nice meeting all of you.
Isn't he wonderful?
You haven't changed a bit.
Have a nice time.
Bye-bye!
But something about him seems a little... Odd.
Don't you think?
You have no idea.
Some good, clean sparring here.
No bitin', no clawin', no kickin'.
Anything goes, boys. Ha ha!
All right, let's see some action.
Are you ready, young one?
I was born there, grandpa.
Check me.
Dragon up.
Gettin' warmed up.
How ya like me now, grandpa?
Ooh, you sure you want a piece of this, old man?
Don't get cocky.
Stay focused.
I'm watching the tail,
'cause my tail never fails!
I'm pretty. I am pretty!
Not your tail... Mine.
Whoa! Aah!
Right in the merchandise.
Fu dog.
I'm on it, gramps.
Sale, sale, sale, sale, sale.
Jake, you must learn concentration.
We will try a basic meditation exercise.
Very simple.
Delivery for fu dog.
Sign here.
It's from big Ernie!
Could it be? Breathe.
Embrace the silence, Jake.
A ticket to today's playoff game!
A box seat in the special magic section.
Do you know that no one can get these?
Whoo-hoo!!
I don't think I bend this way, grandpa.
You must release yourself.
Whoa! Ha ha!
That is not what I meant.
This ball game starts in 10 minutes.
Jake needs work on his concentration.
I'm cool. I'm cool.
Aah!
I'm a big dog.
I'll walk myself,
You remember what happened last time.
I didn't...
Hey, it was all just a little misunderstanding.
It's the game of they year, maybe the century,
and I'm sittin' on a prime ticket over here.
I have to go!
Just be careful,
and do not draw attention to yourself.
Thank you, gramps.
You are lookin' at Mr. Inconspicuous over here.
But the boa... It's the... I look...
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
The rare Chinese shar-pei dog I need.
How long have I waited for you
to venture out alone and unattended?
But now I've got you right where I want you.
Choo!
What the... I mean... Woof!
Officer ogelvy, New York animal control.
Are you aware that you're in violation
of article 1, section 1, subsection 1
of the greater city of New York's municipal leash law?
I... Of course not!
You're just a dumb animal.
I-... You're coming with me, mutt.
Whoa...
Take that, you young hooligan!
Heh heh heh.
Not so fast, perp.
I mean pup.
Doh! Hey!
Ha ha! Gets 'em every time.
Curse you, canine!
I'll get you yet.
Yeah, you better run.
Doh!
G... g... g... goo!
I know you're in here, mongrel.
Choo!
My nose knows.
All my life, I've been plagued by allergies,
but now they are my greatest weapon.
Choo!
Aha!
Heh heh heh heh heh.
Doh! Doh!
Choo!
Thanks, impy. I owe you one.
Hold on. You owe me 2, cheapskate!
Yikes!
I got you!
Choo!
Darn these allergies.
I gotta lose this dame and get to the game!
I'm missing the national anthem!
One, please.
Wait! Stop!
Come back here, hound!
Where do you think you're going, lady?
Hey, watch the uniform!
I'm in law enforcement too, you know.
Ha ha ha ha!
What a meatloaf.
What a meringue pie!
Heh heh heh.
Ooh!
Which is to say... Woof. Woof woof.
It's almost 2:00.
The 6 train runs express to Lexington
if I can make it to midtown before the train reaches 59th street,
I can head him off at the next station!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Well, I think that's enough excitement for one day.
Where do you think you're going, lady?
Now for some baseball!
Whoa! G... g... goo!
You're poached, pooch!
Choo!
Yuck. Ew.
Relax.
Breathe.
Open your mind to... Hyah!
Wh... What's up? What?
You can tell that by just meditating?
It's been almost an hour since the last time he was in trouble,
so he is about due.
We better go find him.
If you say so.
So... What are you in for?
Piddling in public?
Grooming violation?
Heh heh. Mime?
Wait a second.
Ok, let's see here.
Uqu'est-ce que c'est.
Um, arf!
Bow-wow.
Woof arf bow-wow! Heh heh!
I think my canine-ese is a little rusty.
Whaa!
Whoa!
Oof! Hey!!
All right, down boy.
I'm not looking to make friends in here.
I got a game to get to.
That's all that matters to me.
Ok, nothing to worry about.
We're just going to the pound.
As soon as the big guy finds out,
I'll be in the bleachers by the fourth inning.
Wait a minute.
This isn't the dog pound!
What's going on here? G... g... goo!
Choo!
Finally,
I'll be free from all my allergies
once and for all!
Thanks to this... The emulsifier!
I've captured one of every breed of dog
known to dog-kind.
You were the last.
And now that I have you, I'll use this
to turn you concentrated eau de dog,
which will render me impervious
to sneezing, sniffling, runny nose, watery eyes
once and for all!
Henchman, activate the emulsifier!
Darn. I need a henchman.
And I am outta here!
Just a pinch of unlocking powder...
G... g... goo!
I'll send help as soon as I get to the game, ok?
Don't even think about giving me the puppy dog eyes.
I invented that trick.
I wish I never invented that trick.
It's just too good.
Ok, hold tight, guys.
It's fu to the rescue here.
Not so fast, wrinkle toes.
G... goo!
Listen, lady, I can talk, see?
I'm a magical talking dog.
Think of the money you could make off of me.
Doesn't that matter to you at all?
Not one bit.
- Choo!
I was afraid of that.
All right.
You may have me,
but you ain't getting them!
Go! What are you waiting for?
No! No! Aah!
Down! Off! Stay!
Back! Bad dogs!
No! - Choo!
Yeah, dog power!
You go, boys!
And girls!
No! Mama says no! No!
Whoa!
Goo!
Aah, a little help here?
Hey, Sancho!
Fetch the ball, boy.
Go get the ball.
Attaboy!
Sick 'em!
Heh?
Ooh! Whoa!
I wish I had a giant pair of bat wings
instead of a sparkling personality.
On second though, I'm good with the personality.
But I sure could use a dragon right now!
Hyah!
Aah!
I take it back! No dragons!
Aah!
Ha ha!
Scared ya, didn't I?
Nah, I'm always this damp.
Aah!
Please... Please don't hurt me.
Or get your dog hairs on me.
So what do we do with her, fu dog?
I have half a mind to emulsify her!
Aw, but the other half is late for a ball game,
so let's just get her into anger management
and call it a day?
Anybody else here a baseball fan?
Get your dogs here.
Come on, these dogs need good homes.
How about a beagle for the boggle?
What do you want, baby? The poodle? Excellent choice.
Now, how about this dalmatian?
Look at these spots, ladies and gentlemen.