My grandmother could take that guy out,
and she's 1,400 years old!
Hey, hey! I'm only 1,392!
Down in front, grandma?
Unh!
So anyway, if the rushing ogre clips the left winger,
he gets 6 free throws and... incoming!
Whoa. Does anyone ever get hit by those things?
Kid, come on. This game is about team-building
and sportsmanship, not violence and...
Fight!
Take this, you...
Tempers are high. See, the winner of this game
the grand-daddy of all Boulder ball games.
Guard your grill, grandma!
Whoo! And that was just the first period.
Well, let's see. We're playing winter rules,
so... only 17.
Can you believe it? Quadruple overtime!
Aw, this is history, kid.
Maybe it'll end in a tie.
Amateur.
Mr. Long!
The correct answer is cyclops.
Mr. Long, Friday's test counts for you know what?
50% of your grade,
so... if you don't shape up by then,
you will get the distinct pleasure of seeing me,
professor rotwood, in the Bermuda shorts
with the flippy-floppy sandals.
Meaning?
Summer school!
Aw, man.
Dragon up!
Whoa!
Ya heard!
Jake! Get back to work!
Aw, man.
Come on, fu!
Just a little memory potion
to get me by until after I pass the test.
Jake. Cutting one corner
just leads to 2 more.
You just cut up my homework.
The scissors of life may cut you many things,
but... hi-ya!
Do not question your dragon master!
I have an important mission for you.
Hi, Jake!
Remember us? You will!
Yeah. The oracle twins.
So are you the one that only sees the good stuff
you're gonna get a nasty case of poison Ivy
all over your head in July.
A pox upon your face! Hee hee!
Right. Bad stuff.
The one who sees all the good stuff. What's up?
You're cavity-free this year.
Yeah!
Root canal next year!
Aww.
Jake, the oracle twins
are in grave danger.
Someone is after them.
Herbert! What does a goblin crime boss
want with the oracle twins?
He plans to capture the twins
and force them to make predictions
on the outcome of the ogre bowl.
Using a magical gift
will those goblins stop at nothing?
Check out the centaur racing page.
Anything? Throw me a bone, will ya?
Ahem.
I'm a bad dog.
We'll talk later.
Jake, as the American dragon,
you must protect the oracle twins
until after the ogre bowl.
Yo, gramps, I'm all over it.
How about I pick y'all up on Friday
no! The ogre bowl Friday.
But you must find a way to balance your school work
and your dragon duties.
Thanks for your help.
And don't slip on the newt eyeballs!
Newt eyeballs? What newt eyeballs?
Eww! Talk about rolling your eyes!
Ha ha ha ha! I got a million of 'em.
So, if you ladies can see everything,
can't you just see when Herbert's coming.
They may be descendants of the oracle of delphi,
but the bloodline's thin after a couple thousand years.
Horrible, disturbing visions
that haunt my every waking moment...
Mine always seem to have cinnamon rainbows
and gingham puppies in them.
I hear you, sister. The chewing, the yapping,
the carpet stains... Aw, blech.
I knew it. We've been replaced.
It was only a matter of time
until you got cuter sidekicks.
Speak for yourself, spud.
Yo, I told you, they're not my sidekicks.
We're posing as his cousins from out of town.
I forgive you for spitting soda all over me.
What? Ain't nobody spit!
Cara and Sara see flashes of the future.
Cara sees good stuff.
Sara sees bad stuff.
Quit playin'!
Ok, ok. What do y'all see about me?
Come on, come on, hook mama Trixie up
with a little something something.
You and yo-yo boy are gonna tie the knot.
What the... Yo, that's impossible.
I'm tying the knot with Denzel.
You and den... What?
Why didn't I get an invitation?
Before you replaced me with a cuter sidekick.
I smell them approaching, boss.
Let's take them.
Not now. We must wait until they're alone.
Are you two... Ready?
Blend in with them at school.
Watch their every move.
The ogre bowl is this Friday.
We don't have much time.
Ok, here's the drill. Tomorrow at 2 P.M.,
I have, like, the most important test of my life,
so from now until then,
my one and only focus will be... Rose!
What's up?
Hey, Jake.
Tomorrow you're gonna get a massive zit on your...
People in the human realm aren't used to oracles
so just... yo, just chill. You see what I'm saying?
Yeah, Someone's gonna steal your pudding.
Not again.
Guys, please!
Ix-nay on the isions-vays!
You... you're gonna be a Broadway star one day.
I gotta dance, and I don't care who knows it!
Attitude. Jazz hands!
And I'm off! Fosse, fosse, fosse, fosse.
Hey, watch it!
I mean...
I was all, Bobby likes me and not you!
And she was all, nuh!
And I was all, We can't help it, Jake.
The visions just come to us.
And then we have to blurt them out.
Sorry about your nasty break-up next spring.
And on prom night, too!
Bring cab fare.
It's physically impossible for us not to say them.
Just like it's physically impossible
for me to touch my tongue to my nose.
You see?
Ok, fine.
But maybe you can just...
Sugar coat it a little.
Also impossible.
Every vision we foretell is 100% true
and certain to happen.
It can't be true! I am not tying the knot with that!
Please! Please, tell me you've been wrong once.
Just once! Work with me!
Um, yeah, the inside of my nose
tastes different than I thought it would.
It was kind of like chicken.
God.
All right, spud. Hit me.
No. According to rotwood, it's a pixie.
What? I was totally wrong.
It's no wonder why I'm failing his class.
Say if one of your vision thingies didn't come true,
then that would prove
that we have control over our own destinies.
Yep. Yep. Right. It's like Shakespeare once wrote...
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny,
I try to hold my destiny, but I've got a really small bladder.
Look, our visions always come true.
And spud is totally gonna spill chocolate milk
in approximately 30 seconds.
Well, here's where your visions are going down!
Yeah! Right on, spud.
That's what's up. That's right, baby.
Where are you going?
You see? No chocolate milk anywhere near me.
Whoa!!
Aah!
Your predictions, like, always come true.
Honey, I think we should honeymoon in bora bora.
No. Denzel... Denzel... denzel...
The sooner we get back to gramp's shop,
the sooner I get some studying in.
Come on. Short cut.
Um, chain link fences and sandals
don't really go together, Jake.
I should have seen that coming.
You just lost your shoe. That's not a good thing.
You know what is a good thing?
Ice cream! I mean, seriously, yum, right?
What? Ice cream?
It's like you only foresee horrible, rotten stuff,
and your life is nothing but butterflies and gum drops,
but you're always mad about something. What's the deal?
When you only see good things,
all the pleasant surprises are taken out of life.
But when you see only bad stuff,
even the smallest bit of good news
dang. I guess I never thought of it that way.
Life's too short to let a little bad news
ooh, speaking of bad news,
goblins are gonna fall from the sky!
I bet that will be exciting.
Nice work. Seize them!
Dragon up!
Ha! Look out, now! Time to take out the trash!
Ha!
Whoo! Ha! Ha!
Put a lid on it, yo!
Get him!
Hey, you goblins don't quit!
This entire alley is gonna be awash
with rotten fish. Pee-ew!
Fish! That's it!
Sniff it up, goblins!
It's awful! It's awful!
It pains me! Curse my sensitive nose!
And for dragging us down a dark alley
hey, thanks for hooking me up in that fish tip.
I couldn't have beat the goblins without it.
I just call 'em like I see 'em.
Speaking of seeing, congratulations, genius.
You're gonna get number 4 right on your mythology test.
Those guys were totally overrated, if you ask me.
Did you just have a vision
about the right answers to my mythology test?
Looks that way.
If I didn't think you'd slap the living daylights out of me.
Good call.
I like kisses!
Ok, ok. Just clear your mind
and give me some more visions from the test.
Jake, we can't ask for visions to come.
They just do.!
Spud's gonna get number 12 wrong.
What does he answer? True.
Awesome! 4 is argonaut. 12 is false.
Well, they're not real shoes. They're like paw socks. They protect your pads.
Fu! Don't distract them!
Ok, let's talk about the essay section.
How's it going in here?
Just practicing my paper training.
Ha. Talk about your yellow journalism.
Ba-doom-boom. Heh heh. Whoa.
We're just helping Jake
cheat on his mythology test!
What? No, no, not cheat.
Jake, remember, the easy way is not always the best way.
When you cut corners... Aah! I know!
I know!
That I'm looking forward to your test today
but you might have to invent a grade higher than an "a."
Hop!
Holla!
The ogre bowl is this afternoon.
We have to get those twins.
Ahem. What are you looking at, sister?
You think you're all that?
That's right, keep walking, honey.
Bobby's mine, you hear me?
Thanks again for the tip about that skunked meat loaf.
My pleasure!
Look, I'm just saying,
you know onions give you heartburn.
It's my life, woman!
Well, what about the life that we're supposed to be building together?
What about little Shaniqua and denzelina?
That daddy can't take them to gym-o-rama
because he's burping up onions.
Thank you very much. I appreciate that.
That Rose girl!
What? What's up? Is she ok?
No, but someone's gonna take the last pudding
before she gets it.
Are they?
My pudding! Here.
This is better for you, anyway.
You're right.
Ahem. Puddin', m'lady?
You got me the last one.
Yo. Heh. That's what friends are for.
Ok, wait a minute. You said someone else
was gonna take the last pudding.
Hello, someone did. Jake.
Yeah, but... but if you hadn't have...
And then he wouldn't have... Then you...
Our visions always come true,
just not always in the way you expect.
Now's our chance. Quick...
Before dragon boy comes.
What? She digs me.
And like, you know Bobby will totally dump shelley
as soon as her roots show. Dye job, much?
Yo, I think we're totally onto something with this Rose thing.
So after we take the mythology test,
maybe we can go and vision some stuff about her.
That's what I'm talking about, some...
What in the heck is a pixie schnitzel?
I just got a strong vision of us smelling pixie schnitzel.
And Rose is totally gonna trip down stairs
in, like, 30 seconds.
Yo! I'm on it!
Whoa!
Whoo. You always seem to be at the right place
at the right time these days.
Speaking of the right time...
I... Thanks for the pudding.
Care to join us for the test, Mr. Long?
My-my cousins are supposed to sit... whoa!
Hey, hey! Watch it!
This is sort of a bad time.
The bad news is we're gonna get nabbed by Herbert! Hee!
The good news is, you're gonna rescue us.
The bad news is you're gonna get hit by a Boulder
going 180 miles per hour.
Wow! That's gonna hurt!
Here. Gotta go to the bathroom.
You realize that if you leave,
you will fail this test.
Must have been the meat loaf.
Cara! Sara!
And the Jersey knuckle-draggers have been tossing boulders at each other for years.
Heh heh. Hey, maybe they should just throw around j.T.'S big bald head!
Everybody come on!
Kid, you're just in time!
We gotta get over to Madison...
Jake, where are the oracle twins?
Herbert never misses the ogre bowl.
I am sure the twins are in there somewhere.
Closed for renovations?
Code for secret magical event inside.
Trust me. By the time the ogre bowl is over,
they'll need to renovate.
Unh!
Aw, we're never gonna find them in this place.
They could be anywhere.
Pixie schnitzel.
To be thinking about that delicious, steaming fresh schnitzel
that the pixies serve with the little sprinkles and...
Ok, just a quick one.
Sara had a vision of them smelling it. There!
Come on. Yum.
And you'll get all the pixie schnitzel your heart desires.
Great. Thanks.
Ok, like, sorry, rude girl.
I don't know who you think you are,
but... Frank, it's over.
You're not in school anymore.
You'll regret going out with shelley!
You hear me, Bobby?
Beauty is only skin deep!
It's not too late for some serious half-time bets,
so you ladies better start foreseeing
some ogre bowl action
or else what, herbie?
Just let the twins...
I'm going to make a gold mine off these oracles.
Aah!
They're not just oracles.
And you can't just use them for your own selfish reasons.
Speaking of that, how's Rose?
She's great, thanks.
Wait, wait. I didn't use...
I mean, I didn't use... I mean...
It's time to play some halftime action.
Fu! Let's go!
Some of them have been clocked at over 180
miles per hour. J.T., I'm scared. What are you?
Wait. 180 miles per hour...
If I go out there, I'll... Jake!
Here goes nothing.
Dragon on the field!
What's your hurry, herbie?
Kid, behind you!
Gosh!
Say what?
Jake! Talk to me.
I gotta get out of here.
I'm gonna get hit by a Boulder
going 180 miles per hour!
Ha ha ha ha!
Already happened, kid.
Hey, can I get a little help over here?
Let's take a look at that last play.
The Boulder here was going 180 miles per hour,
but Jake was flying at a cruising speed of 179.
That makes the relative speed of the Boulder a mere one mile an hour,
Now, if it was j.T.'S big bald head that hit ya,
that would have been another story, right, j.T.?
'Cause that's a rock. That's a big, hard...
All right, smarty pants, take a walk.
Thanks for saving us!
I knew you would.
I believe this is yours.
I'll take that.
Stop! That's the thanks I get for saving your life?
Well, if you hadn't abandoned us in the hallway,
you wouldn't have had to save our lives in the first place...
Now that we don't totally appreciate it!
I'm just saying you could have called.
I kept dinner warm for you all night.
Yo, whatever. I ate dinner at home.
We need to communicate if we want this thing to work!
Does the rabbit go through the hole or under the hole?
We're tying this thing in a knot once and for all.
Heh. Trix!
We tied the knot.
That's what oracle girl was talking about.
Ha! We tied the knot!
You mean we don't have to...
The wedding is off, dudette!
Hear that, ladies of N.Y.C.?
Spud is once again a free man!
Denzel, honey...
You keep the light on for mama Trixie, ok?
Does that mean we don't get to go to bora bora?
So I guess I wasn't the best bodyguard?
Well, you did give up your test to save us.
Speaking of the test...
Actually, everyone's gonna have to take a whole new test.
Something involving bad meat loaf.
You'll find out tomorrow.
Listen, we owe you one.
And see if any visions from the new test hit us.
Thanks, but no more shortcuts.
I think I'll take care of this one myself.
Well, thanks for risking your life to save us,
knowing you were gonna get hit by that Boulder and everything.
Hey! Life's too short to let a little bad news keep you from living.
That's a super duper attitude!
When you find out the dark, awful truth about Rose.
Well, heh heh, night!
What? What... what... What truth?
Hey, guys!
Guys!