1 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:10,553 Ok, that cable goes there, the antenna goes there, 2 00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:15,858 I can never get the magic channel on this stupid thing. 3 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:19,895 Well, I'm trying to do my-! 4 00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:21,097 Homework. 5 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:29,121 They're doin' a segment on the miss magical world beauty pageant. 6 00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:36,202 Ok, now, perfect. Don't move. 7 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:42,608 Whoo whee! Now there's some fine lookin' lassies. 8 00:00:44,677 --> 00:00:47,256 You know, call me old school. 9 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,991 But a fine looking Lassie 10 00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:50,092 should only have one head. 11 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,261 Yeah, yeah. You're blockin' my view. 12 00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:53,696 Big women, big dreams. 13 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,731 Who will Mr. Pandarus choose? 14 00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:59,568 Eli! Eli! Eli! Eli! 15 00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:01,003 Wait. Eli pandarus? 16 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,738 Yeah, he's sponsoring the pageant, 17 00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:05,007 holding it on his private island. Ooh. 18 00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:08,577 Eli pandarus... lying, cheating evil wizard. 19 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:11,213 All I know is the guy who organized 20 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,815 the first magical beauty pageant 21 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:15,818 can't be all bad. 22 00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:17,119 Think again, genius. 23 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:18,921 Hey, the oracle twins. 24 00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:20,990 Hi. We had a vision of the pageant. 25 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,792 Pandarus is up to something. 26 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:25,728 Something unspeakably horrible. 27 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,029 Whoa, whoa! 28 00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:28,898 And Jake's gonna fall. 29 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,690 Aw, man. 30 00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:57,216 Dragon up! 31 00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:02,155 Whoa! 32 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,619 Ya heard! 33 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,155 Jake! Get back to work! 34 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:28,281 Aw, man. 35 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:40,035 Fu dog! Have you been messing with the antenna again? 36 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,036 No. Heh heh. 37 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,371 Of course not. Unh! 38 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:44,673 Ooh, look at those heels. 39 00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:45,908 She's gonna have a tough time 40 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:50,146 look, I can figure out what pandarus is up to. No sweat. 41 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,948 But since you guys are hooked up with future on demand, 42 00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:54,717 why don't you just save me the trouble? 43 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:55,985 Unh. It's not that easy. 44 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,853 We know something bad's gonna happen. 45 00:02:57,877 --> 00:02:59,755 But we don't know what or how. 46 00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:00,956 It's not an exact science. 47 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,292 Enough! We must go to pandarus island. 48 00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:05,394 Yo, g., his island is sealed up tight, 49 00:03:05,418 --> 00:03:08,097 and I'm guessing his mortal enemies aren't on the guest list. 50 00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,299 Unless, of course, he's having a mortal enemy party. 51 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,368 Which I seriously doubt, and if he is, then... 52 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,937 Enough! We must go to pandarus island. 53 00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:16,939 We are not allowed onto the island. 54 00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:20,176 Now there's a face that could launch 1,000 ships, 55 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,244 or just one headed for pandarus island. Heh. 56 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,013 This is what I call a mission. Hoo hoo! 57 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:28,341 Fu dog, I haven't seen you in a gnome's age. 58 00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:33,055 Jake, buddy, you remember v-v-Veronica. 59 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,457 I don't know. Fu, I'm sorry. 60 00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:38,027 I just don't remember... W-Whoa! 61 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,828 Yeah, that rings a bell. 62 00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:41,397 Veronica will enter the pageant 63 00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:46,735 and we will be traveling incognito as her stylists. 64 00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,370 How about a little game of footsie 65 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,773 before we save the world? 66 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,865 You. 67 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,852 That gargoyle is wearing my dress. 68 00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,788 Can someone powder my noses? 69 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,223 Amia, where's my tutu? 70 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,250 I like samples. 71 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,494 Veronica and I will check in. 72 00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:15,497 You two learn the ways of your enemy. 73 00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:17,366 Let's see. 4 guards, 2 exits... 74 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:20,525 And 100 chances for love, sweet love. 75 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,273 Fu, take it easy! 76 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:27,977 Great. I'm gonna go check out miss Bermuda triangle. 77 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,144 And buddy, if I come up missin', 78 00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,880 don't send a search party. 79 00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:33,882 Sheila! Good to see ya again. 80 00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:35,317 Hey, how about later you and me 81 00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:36,785 take a little ride around the ring, 82 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:37,853 if you know what I mean? 83 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:39,244 Giddy up! 84 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:43,225 Ooh, doggy, we got a live one here. 85 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,294 Hey, there, Iris. Long time no see. 86 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:47,796 How about makin' me your pupil for the day? 87 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,554 Get it, pupil? 88 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:54,370 I see you, you, you, and me 89 00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:55,504 getting to know each other better 90 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:57,973 over a romantic bowl of kibble. 91 00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:01,510 There's enough of the fu to go around. 92 00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:04,103 There you are. 93 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:07,816 Yo, fu, you can't go around treatin' women like this. 94 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:11,453 Hey, they're the ones who put themselves on display, kid. 95 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:16,158 I'm just enjoyin' the view. 96 00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:19,428 Hey, Kara, wanna shake those things my way?! 97 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:22,097 Your wings! I was talkin' about your wings, not the... 98 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:25,457 What do you expect from a ditzy dame? 99 00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,203 Ladies and gentlemen, 100 00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:30,506 monsters and magicians, 101 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:33,075 welcoming you to Eli pandarus' 102 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,943 miss magical world beauty pageant, 103 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,545 where we'll find out once and for all 104 00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:38,314 who is the fairest of them all. 105 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,550 Honey, you got a little hay stuck to your hoof there. 106 00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:44,386 How embarrassing. 107 00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:46,355 Now let's say hello to our judges. 108 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:49,525 The tooth fairy... Ha ha ha ha ha. 109 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:50,592 Jack frost... 110 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:52,928 And our third celebrity judge, 111 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,196 you know him, you love him. 112 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:57,166 Ho ho ho. Yeah. Sorry I'm late, ok? 113 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,435 The north wind was blowin' up a storm, you know? 114 00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:03,005 Don't even get me started about parkin' around this place, ok? 115 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,540 And our host with the most, 116 00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:07,409 the richest magical man on earth, 117 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:09,901 Eli pandarus. 118 00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:15,084 If you're eliminated from the contest, 119 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:18,487 so stay pretty, and you'll stay in the game. 120 00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,989 All right, now. Let's meet our contestants. 121 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:22,057 Miss Atlantis. 122 00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:23,559 She likes whirlpools, raw eel 123 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:27,086 and leaps for handsome human princes. 124 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,500 Right. More hair. 125 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:32,435 Miss Hades. 126 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:33,502 She loves the color red, 127 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,104 the smell of brimstone and deviled ham. 128 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,873 She can have my soul any day. 129 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,508 Fu, some help here? 130 00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:41,610 Who would want to ring her bell? 131 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,979 How do I look? 132 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:47,116 Trust me, honey, with your gams and those heels, 133 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,519 the other girls don't stand a chance. 134 00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:54,423 Steady. Steady. Poise. 135 00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:56,058 Confiden... ce! 136 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,359 What is it? 137 00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,095 Well, that narrows it down. 138 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:05,567 Veronica. You ok, doll? Can you get up? 139 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,903 Yo, g., what are we gonna do? 140 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,471 Did you know in Chinese opera 141 00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:10,639 women were played by men? 142 00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,074 That's very enlightening, pops. 143 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,042 But what's it got to do with 144 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,643 the price of tea in China? Aah! 145 00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:19,204 And now, miss magical New York City! 146 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,476 Hello, boys. 147 00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:31,427 I'm a 600-year-old shar-pei. 148 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,995 I got wrinkles on my wrinkles. 149 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,396 I'll never pull this off. 150 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,198 Come on, fu. Just go with it. 151 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:39,501 You're not the one squeezed into a size 6. 152 00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,136 And what does a dog have to do around here 153 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,039 I need all contestants in the dressing room, please. 154 00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:46,041 You think this is easy prancin' around like some... 155 00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:48,701 Did you say d-d-dressing room? 156 00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:51,480 You know, on second thought, 157 00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:53,482 I think I'm just the dog for this game. 158 00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:58,110 Hello, girls. Fuella has arrived. 159 00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,123 Don't worry, beautiful. 160 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,158 I'll get you the best medical attention 161 00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:04,259 that money can buy. 162 00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:07,587 As long as it's off the island. 163 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:12,234 Something about you seems familiar. 164 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,569 Do I know you? 165 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:17,506 When you taped good magical morning New York. 166 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,575 You know, you could really use 167 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,643 a good zizzing. Whoa! 168 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:22,744 Don't forget to condition! 169 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:23,745 Trim those sideburns! 170 00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,547 Skip a day of shampooing, and... 171 00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:28,450 So what say we girls start a sorority 172 00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:31,277 and have a pillow fight? Who's in? 173 00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,423 Oops! Hee hee hee hee. 174 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:38,460 Susie, um, this is my stylist, sven. 175 00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:42,264 Eek! Split ends! 176 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:44,333 No! 177 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,568 Fu, this isn't the time for pillow fights. 178 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:47,569 Bite your tongue! 179 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,204 Remember what monty hall said? 180 00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:51,306 If you're eliminated from the competition, 181 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:54,176 you mean, I actually gotta try and win this thing? 182 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,513 Well, just try and stay alive in the contest 183 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,481 until we can figure out 184 00:08:58,505 --> 00:08:59,681 what pandarus is up to. 185 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,617 I'm on it. You can trust fu. 186 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,552 From now on, my one and only focus 187 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:05,053 will be stayin' in the game. 188 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,588 No more distractions. 189 00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:09,391 Fuella, can you zip up my dress? 190 00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:11,126 What are bestest girlfriends for? 191 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:13,662 I'll be right there. Hee hee hee hee. 192 00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:17,466 Sorry. Fuella's got a date with beauty boot camp. 193 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:22,404 Facelift? I thought you meant face drop. 194 00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:25,774 Yeah, man. These wrinkles are my calling card. 195 00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:28,577 I was thinkin' I could use a few more around the neck here 196 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:35,308 like... like this. Whoo! Can't touch that. Sss. 197 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:39,254 Just take it easy... Aaahhh! 198 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,323 Work it. Work it. 199 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,658 Turn to your left, ladies, 200 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,493 and turn to your right. 201 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,519 Whoo! Well, no pain, no gain, right? 202 00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,569 Everything hurts. 203 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,839 Time for a little dragon recon, ya heard? 204 00:09:57,863 --> 00:09:59,308 Yes, it is time. 205 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:00,576 Whoo hoo! Come on, fu, 206 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,811 let's go put the pain in pain-darus. 207 00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:05,614 No can do. Aphrodite magazine 208 00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,316 says beauty sleep is essential. 209 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:11,510 I got 600 years of bags under my eyes to sleep off. 210 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,125 It's gotta be pandarus' crib. 211 00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:20,262 Looks to me like it's dragon time. 212 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,121 Unhhaahh! 213 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,667 Is everything ready? 214 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,569 The secret altar is under the stage 215 00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:28,604 just like you asked. 216 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:32,274 The most powerful wizard in the land. 217 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,310 Game show host in the land. Ha ha. 218 00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:37,903 Deal with that, trebek. 219 00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:41,573 Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! 220 00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:44,677 Jake! Look out! 221 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,523 Whoa! 222 00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:49,658 Hey! What's that? 223 00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:53,528 Don't worry about me, gramps. 224 00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:54,630 I'm on top of it. 225 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,864 Not all of it! 226 00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:57,666 Over here! 227 00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:00,726 Sorry, dudes. Gotta fly. 228 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,238 What is that dragon doing here? 229 00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:04,506 Want me to take him out for ya? 230 00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:05,507 Monty's got a big bowl of pain 231 00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:09,611 never mind. I'm one night away from absolute power. 232 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:11,713 Nothing, not even the American dragon 233 00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:14,449 is going to stop me. 234 00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:16,942 Whoa! Ooh! 235 00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:18,821 Unh! 236 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,556 Fu, wake up, dude. 237 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:22,557 I'm the prettiest. 238 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,726 No, I'm the prettiest. 239 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,528 Fu! Pageant time! 240 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:28,587 Aah! My eyes! 241 00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:34,603 Give a dog time to get his face on, would ya? 242 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:37,572 So we gotta find out what pandarus is hiding 243 00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:40,442 hey, there's a trap door, center stage. 244 00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:41,910 I got my heel caught in it yesterday. 245 00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:46,581 The problem is, the whole arena's guarded. 246 00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:48,550 The only time anyone can get on stage 247 00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:52,311 then that's when we make our move. 248 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,591 Fu, something funky with your eggs? 249 00:11:56,615 --> 00:12:00,195 No. But my unhealthy relationship with food is over. 250 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,632 You hear that, eggs? I'm breakin' up with you, 251 00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:08,637 fu, you're really startin' to scare me. 252 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:09,938 Welcome back to the finals 253 00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:11,907 of the miss magical world beauty pageant. 254 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:12,941 Give it up for our judges. 255 00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:15,343 Jack frost, tooth fairy... 256 00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:18,613 And... hello, judge number 3. 257 00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:19,582 Ho ho, I tell ya, 258 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,484 on those burping Betty dolls, you know? 259 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,953 Turns out they burp out of the wrong end, ok? 260 00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:30,559 Well, frankly, they expect more from the Santa name, you know? 261 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,418 Boy, I tell ya. 262 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:36,865 Ladies, I just wanted to wish you all 263 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,767 good luck today in the finals. 264 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:42,762 I'm not ready. I need time to get my glam on. 265 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:48,410 Unh! Brrr! 266 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,678 You. Me? 267 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,513 No, I... I'm just a girl. 268 00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:56,017 What do I expect from a ditzy dame? 269 00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:58,954 Ditsy dame? 270 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,556 A piece of meat with no feelings? 271 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:04,092 If you poke me, do I not giggle? 272 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,528 It's like he doesn't even see the real me. 273 00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:08,630 Who does he think he is? 274 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:10,398 We get no respect. 275 00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:11,933 Some men are such dogs. 276 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,635 You said it, girlfriend. 277 00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:17,906 Well, I'll be. It's the dance of the Southern belles. 278 00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,542 Is it hot in here, or is it just them? 279 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:23,702 Unh! 280 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:25,680 Keep up. 281 00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:30,476 I should have made him shave his legs. 282 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,459 Ok, now. 283 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:42,531 Elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, wrist, and smiles. 284 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,723 Unh! 285 00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:47,792 Come, Jake. We must hurry. 286 00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:51,597 No arguments here. 287 00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:56,968 Unh! 288 00:13:58,337 --> 00:13:59,772 Hee hee hee. 289 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,844 A fork in the road. 290 00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:08,591 This way! 291 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,016 Unh! Hurry! 292 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:12,695 Heh heh. Heh? 293 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,620 Aah! Aah! Whoa! 294 00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:20,759 Hee hee hee hee. Whoops. 295 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,409 Looks like some kind of altar. 296 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,778 The prophecy of koolubius. 297 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:32,681 "He who weds the fairest creature of them all 298 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,882 "at the stroke of midnight 299 00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:35,450 "on the day the planets align 300 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,353 shall become the mightiest wizard in the land." 301 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:41,112 So pandarus is gonna... 302 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,651 Yo, g., we got company. 303 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,532 Come on, ogres. Show us what you've got. 304 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,157 Unh! 305 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,027 Unh! Unh! 306 00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:00,075 This net, it is sphyx hair. 307 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:04,713 The only substance that renders a dragon absolutely powerless. 308 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,548 Now if you'll excuse me, 309 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,583 I have to go marry the winner of the pageant. 310 00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,519 And become the mightiest wizard in all the land. 311 00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:14,712 Not to mention the evilest. 312 00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:24,432 What the heck is takin' Jake and grandpa so long? 313 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:27,135 Ahem. It's... It's just impossible 314 00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:29,638 to get reliable stylists these days. 315 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:33,675 All these outfits make me look hippy, 316 00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:37,679 seriously, they can't stop to think about anyone but themselves. 317 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,548 You know what I'm sayin', sister? 318 00:15:40,572 --> 00:15:42,817 Hey, there, what... What gives, Iris? 319 00:15:42,841 --> 00:15:47,589 I... I can't go on. I'm just not pretty enough. 320 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:52,160 I'm all... Eyeball! 321 00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,628 What? No way. 322 00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:54,930 You're beautiful and smart 323 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,965 and have a great sense of humor. 324 00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:59,167 Here. Dry your eye. 325 00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:01,159 Thanks, fuella. 326 00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:05,596 You're a peach. 327 00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,810 It's time for the personality contest. 328 00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:09,779 Fuella, you're up. 329 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,846 What? I am not ready! 330 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:15,107 Hee hee hee. 331 00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:18,586 Are you ready, beautiful? 332 00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:21,056 Hee hee hee hee hee. Yes. 333 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:25,527 Ok, first question from that master of the deep freeze, 334 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:26,594 Jack frost. 335 00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:28,563 Hi. 336 00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:30,532 I'm gonna keep my questions simple. 337 00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,067 What's your favorite season? 338 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:36,738 Um... Ooh, I like her. Do you like her? 339 00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:39,541 Next, a quarter for her thoughts. 340 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,142 That's right. It's the tooth fairy. 341 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,611 Ooh, I love this part. 342 00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:45,814 Let's see those pearly whites. 343 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:50,109 Hi... aah! 344 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,924 - Pardon me. - I am... 345 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:59,094 I just didn't... Expect that... 346 00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:04,032 Color green. Ooh! 347 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,734 Tough break, fuella. 348 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,969 Now let's see what the next judge has to say. 349 00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:10,939 You are definitely on my naughty list, ok, 350 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:14,776 and my ugly list. You should donate that body to science. 351 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,167 Science fiction, you know. 352 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:19,781 Ooh, forget it! 353 00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:21,049 No matter how hard I try, 354 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:22,884 I just can't look like the women 355 00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:26,888 and my personality is about more than my teeth 356 00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:31,159 I look around this room, and do you know what I see? 357 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,294 I see the smartest, most accomplished dames 358 00:17:33,318 --> 00:17:38,767 did you know Janice there has a ph.D. In molecular biology? 359 00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:41,703 She's the one who designed the ancient pyramids, 360 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,239 and Bertha, well, Bertha's as dull as a spoon. 361 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,608 But she bakes a great cobbler. 362 00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:50,712 And what have you done with these amazing women? 363 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,780 Pitted them against each other 364 00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,882 and treated them like pieces of meat. 365 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,550 Well, I'm here to tell you 366 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,854 and me, I'm already a winner just for gettin' to know ya. 367 00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:02,757 'Cause you ladies are beautiful in here, 368 00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:05,660 and that's all that really matters. 369 00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:08,630 Get this sniveling nobody off my stage, 370 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,031 and crown a winner, already! 371 00:18:10,055 --> 00:18:11,066 You can take your pageant 372 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,301 and stick it in your ear, pandarus. 373 00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:14,636 Yeah. See ya. 374 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,572 Yeah. This pageant is whack, anyway. 375 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,774 Real pageants create opportunity for women. 376 00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:23,011 Chances to give mind numbing speeches 377 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,212 about world peace. 378 00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:28,683 The only way you can pull this sham of a pageant out of the mud 379 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:31,219 is by naming a real woman as the winner. 380 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,088 I say we give the crown to fuella 381 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,857 for having the courage to tell the truth. 382 00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:42,788 Fuella! Fuella! 383 00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:44,966 Ok, that's it. 384 00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,601 Judges, let's get on with it. 385 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,369 I need a winner. 386 00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,070 If everyone else has withdrawn, 387 00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:51,973 I don't care if she is a complete dog. 388 00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,708 Whoo-hoo! Fuella it is. 389 00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:56,211 Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you 390 00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:57,679 the new miss magical world, 391 00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,615 and officially the fairest of them all, 392 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:05,086 Hello. I love you all. 393 00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,788 Thank you so much. 394 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:10,082 I'm gonna cry. 395 00:19:17,956 --> 00:19:19,968 Ok, that's enough. 396 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,904 Watch the dress, buddy. It's couture. 397 00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:24,639 Hey, where we goin'? 398 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,241 Well, now that the pageant is over, 399 00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:28,743 I guess I can spill the good news. 400 00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,345 We're off to fulfill an ancient prophecy. 401 00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:34,716 Not only the most devilishly handsome wizard in the world, 402 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,317 but the most powerful as well. 403 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:41,279 How nice for you. There's just one problem. 404 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,725 Look, it's that jerk 405 00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:48,930 that's right. How's that prophecy lookin' now, pandarus? 406 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:51,132 It's looking fine. All I need to do 407 00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:52,867 is marry the fairest of them all. 408 00:19:52,891 --> 00:19:57,272 Which, according to your tiara and plaque is you. 409 00:19:57,296 --> 00:20:00,098 Ta-ta, everyone. 410 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,714 This worked out perfectly. 411 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,384 I needed 2 witnesses to our blessed union, 412 00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,352 and voila, here you are... 413 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,354 Just hangin' around. 414 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,925 Pandarus is gonna take the winner of the contest 415 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:17,926 and make her his bride. 416 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,460 You're lookin' at her, kid. 417 00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:20,995 What? You won? 418 00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:23,831 And that's so hard to believe? 419 00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:26,491 Let's get this over with. 420 00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:32,006 Welcome. We have chained here together... 421 00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:34,709 I... I mean, gathered here together... 422 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,735 Just get on with it. 423 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,480 "Dearly beloved." Yada, yada, yada... 424 00:20:39,504 --> 00:20:41,749 "Gathered here today." Yada, yada. 425 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:42,884 Anyone have any objections? 426 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,852 We do! 427 00:20:44,876 --> 00:20:46,020 Hey, guess they couldn't stand 428 00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:49,047 to see me off the market. Hoo hoo! 429 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,921 Unh! Unh! 430 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,290 Yeah! 431 00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:04,205 It's no use. There's too many of them. 432 00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:04,974 Guess again. 433 00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:09,811 Aah! Aah! Aah! Aaahhh! 434 00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,769 Look out! 435 00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:16,017 Take him. Take him! 436 00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:17,285 Just don't hurt me. 437 00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:21,313 Whoo hoo! Now that's what I call girl power. 438 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,328 Ladies, I gotta hand it to ya. 439 00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:30,198 You really saved my tail in the end there. 440 00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:33,534 Yeah, well, we're still mad that you lied to us. 441 00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:35,503 But we're also awful proud of you 442 00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:36,504 for standin' up for us. 443 00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:38,273 You know, I meant every word. 444 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,341 Trust me. I was a better dog as a woman 445 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,409 than I ever was as a dog. 446 00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:44,412 Wow. Fu dog has really come around. 447 00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:46,514 I must say, I'm grateful to all you ladies. 448 00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,516 This entire weekend has been a test for me... 449 00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:52,577 A test which I'm proud to say I passed. 450 00:21:54,579 --> 00:21:57,258 Hey, hands off the honk. 451 00:21:57,282 --> 00:22:00,461 I said I passed. I didn't say I got an "a." 452 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,996 I didn't get a "b," either, 453 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:07,125 or a "c," or a "d."