1 00:00:05,940 --> 00:00:07,050 AW. 2 00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:08,118 AHH. 3 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,302 HUH. STOP THE LEAK BALLOON BOY. 4 00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,488 I AIN'T MOVIN'. 5 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,956 OH, NO. I'M GREAT. 6 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,658 I LOVE WASTING MY WHOLE LUNCH PERIOD 7 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:17,527 WATCHING YOU HAVE A YAK-ATTACK ALL OVER YOUR BLOG. 8 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,763 YOU COULD ALWAYS WATCH INTERNET VIDEOS 9 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,064 WITH SPUD INSTEAD. 10 00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,033 HA HA HA HA! HEH HEH! 11 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,901 HOW DOES THE MONKEY KEEP FINDING 12 00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,170 NEW PLACES TO HIDE THE CHEESE? 13 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,605 PASS. JUST BLOG IT ALL OUT, 14 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,639 AND WE'LL HIT THE COURTYARD. 15 00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,908 YOU CAN'T RUSH PASSION, JAKEY. 16 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:34,011 BLOGGING IS THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION. 17 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,513 THIS IS HOW WE GET UP IN FRONT OF THE WORLD 18 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,347 AND SAY YO, 19 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,183 THIS IS WHERE WE STAND, AND WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED. 20 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,818 WHAT KYLE WILKINS WORE TODAY? 21 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,522 UNLESS KYLE'S WEARING VINTAGE JEANS AND A MUSCLE TEE. 22 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,525 NOW THAT WILL MOVE ME. MMM, MMM. 23 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,060 CALL THE MOVIN' VAN. 24 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,596 HEY. WHAT'S GOIN' ON OUT THERE? 25 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:53,630 MONKEY HIDING CHEESE. 26 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,665 OH, PLEASE BE A MONKEY HIDING CHEESE. 27 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,134 [STUDENTS LAUGHING] 28 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,136 Boy: OOH, OOH. WAIT, WAIT. 29 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,637 BRADSTER'S GOT ONE EVEN BETTER. 30 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,939 IN THE FOURTH GRADE, FREDERICK BUTTERSLEEVES 31 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,674 HAD TO GO TO THE NURSE'S OFFICE 32 00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,610 WITH A CRICKET UP HIS NOSE. 33 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,311 [LAUGHTER] 34 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,814 IT WAS MY SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT. 35 00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,649 WE GOT A THUMB SUCKER! 36 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,551 Students: OOH! 37 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,435 BRAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 38 00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:18,321 THE BRADSTER TOTALLY GANKED SOME PERMANENT RECORDS 39 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:19,722 FROM ROTWOOD'S OFFICE. 40 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,124 YOU GOT SOMEBODY YOU WANNA BUY SOME DIRT ON? 41 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,994 THESE BABIES WILL HAVE THEIR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS 42 00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,129 FROM PRESCHOOL TO THIS MORNING. 43 00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,164 THIS ISN'T FUNNY, GUYS. 44 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,931 PEOPLE GOT PRIVATE STUFF IN THERE. 45 00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:30,700 Boy: OH, COME ON, THIS IS GREAT! Girl: IT IS TOO FUNNY. 46 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,985 Boy: COME ON, NOW, THIS IS TOO GOOD! 47 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,272 YOU GOT PRIVATE STUFF IN YOUR RECORD, JERK LONG? 48 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,573 LET'S FIND OUT. 49 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,890 HEY, GIMME THAT! 50 00:01:37,914 --> 00:01:39,209 UH, THAT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS, BRAD. 51 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,177 LEAVE HIM ALONE! 52 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,260 HUH HO, CHECK IT! 53 00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:42,345 PERSONAL NOTES FROM ROTWOOD. 54 00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:45,682 A VERY IMPORTANT PLAYER IN THE MAGICAL WORLD, 55 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,819 THANKS TO HIS SECRET DOUBLE-LIFE AS A FIRE... 56 00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:51,121 BREATHING... DRAGON? 57 00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:53,145 [ALL GASP] 58 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,959 ♪ HE'S COOL ♪ 59 00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,662 ♪ HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ♪ 60 00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,063 ♪ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST ♪ 61 00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:01,765 ♪ HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ♪ 62 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,734 ♪ PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ♪ 63 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:08,371 ♪ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ♪ 64 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,640 ♪ HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ♪ 65 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,975 ♪ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ♪ 66 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,944 ♪ DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL ♪ 67 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,178 ♪ BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ♪ 68 00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:17,180 ♪ A REAL LIVE WIRE ♪ 69 00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:20,139 ♪ AMERICAN DRAGON ♪ 70 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,142 ♪ AMERICAN DRAGON ♪ 71 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,815 ♪ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ♪ 72 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,661 ♪ HIS SKILLS ARE GETTIN' FASTER ♪ 73 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,330 ♪ WITH GRANDPA, THE MASTER ♪ 74 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,031 ♪ HIS DESTINY WELL, WHAT'S UP, G? ♪ 75 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,200 ♪ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ♪ 76 00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,434 ♪ AMERICAN DRAGON ♪ 77 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:39,669 ♪ I'M A DRAGON, I'M NOT BRAGGIN' ♪ 78 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,304 ♪ IT'S MY DESTINY ♪ 79 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:45,108 ♪ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR OF THE N.Y.C. ♪ 80 00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,177 YA HEARD! 81 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:54,885 ♪ AMERICAN DRAGON ♪ 82 00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:58,188 UH, ABOUT THAT FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON STUFF... 83 00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,322 I CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. SEE... 84 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,258 Brett: HA HA! JERK LONG. 85 00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,492 THINKS HE'S SOME KIND OF DRAGON 86 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,195 IN HIS OWN MAKE PRETEND FANTASY WORLD. 87 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,163 ALL ABOARD! 88 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,932 THE PIXIE LAND EXPRESS. CUCKOO! 89 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,200 [LAUGHTER] 90 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,768 AT LEAST IT'S A COVER STORY. 91 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,736 BUT YOU CAN'T... I'M... I'M NOT... 92 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,705 IT'S PROBABLY JUST ROTWOOD MAKING UP STORIES. 93 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,406 WHO CARES? 94 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,308 IT'S HIL-A-RACIOUS! 95 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,010 AND IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! 96 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,461 THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! 97 00:03:21,485 --> 00:03:22,913 HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THESE FROM ROTWOOD'S OFFICE? 98 00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:25,782 [GERMAN ACCENT] DID I LEAVE THOSE FOLDERS SITTING OUT 99 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,350 WITH THE DOOR OPEN 100 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,919 AND JAKE LONG'S FILE ON THE TOP OF THE STACK, AGAIN? 101 00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:31,454 ACH! WHAT A MAJOR OOPSIE I HAVE COMMITTED. 102 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:35,025 ONE DAY'S DETENTION FOR YOU NAUGHTY BOYS. 103 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,093 ONE DAY! THAT'S ALL THEY GET? 104 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,445 OH, AND BY THE WAY, STUDENTS, 105 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,798 NEXT WEEK, WE WILL BE WORKING ON CLASS MOSTS AND BESTS. 106 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:45,035 YOU KNOW, MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED, BEST HAIR, 107 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:48,038 BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK. 108 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,472 SINCE WHEN IS THAT A CATEGORY? 109 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,208 IT, UH, MUST HAVE JUST BEEN ADDED. 110 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,176 HOW TOTALLY COINCIDENTAL! 111 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,177 ANY NOMINATIONS? 112 00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,180 JAKE LONG, FOR BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK. 113 00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,416 YEAH, JAKE LONG! SECOND IT. 114 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,833 Boy: OH, YEAH. 115 00:04:00,857 --> 00:04:02,252 HA HA! DEMOCRACY IN ACTION. 116 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,453 TA. 117 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,277 [GROANS] 118 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,225 YO, YOU WANTED THOSE PUNKS TO READ MY FILE. 119 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,726 WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? 120 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,328 ZE DOOR, PLEASE. 121 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:15,065 PERMIT ME TO BE PERFECTLY FRANK VITH YOU, MR. LONG. 122 00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,434 AS A YOUNG STUDENT OF MAGICAL CREATURES, 123 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,402 I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF. 124 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,039 I SWORE I WOULD EXPOSE MY FIRST MAGICAL CREATURE 125 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:26,009 TO THE WORLD BY MY 47th BIRTHDAY. 126 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,177 WHY 47th? 127 00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,794 WAS A TYPO. 128 00:04:28,818 --> 00:04:30,413 THAT BIRTHDAY ARRIVES IN ONE WEEK. 129 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,083 YET, NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MY LIFE'S VERK. 130 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,918 OH, I HAVE HAD MANY LEADS OVER THE YEARS. 131 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,154 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW CLOSE I AM TO FINDING SOMEPLACE 132 00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,023 CALLED THE MAGUS BAZAAR. 133 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,258 THE, UH, BIZARRO WHAT NOW? 134 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,494 AND, OF COURSE, I DID LEARN THAT A CERTAIN YOUNG MAN 135 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,063 LIVES THE SECRET LIFE OF A DRAGON. 136 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:51,089 BUT, AS WE HAVE SEEN, [ROARS] 137 00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:56,172 [SIGHS] YOU ARE NOT SO EASILY EXPOSED. 138 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:59,476 SO, NOW WE PLAY DIRTY, LIKE THE SWINEY PIGGIES, JA? 139 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,845 YOU THINK GETTING ME NOMINATED FOR FREAK OF THE YEAR 140 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,313 IS GONNA PROVE I'M A DRAGON? 141 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:06,149 NO, BUT IT WILL THROW YOU OFF YOUR GAME. 142 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,417 GET YOU TO MAKE A MISTAKE... 143 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,386 DRAGON UP AT ZE WRONG MOMENT. 144 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,887 AND WHEN YOU DO, WHO WILL BE THERE 145 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:14,524 TO RECORD THE EVIDENCE OF YOUR TRUE MAGICAL NATURE? 146 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,725 HANS ROTWOOD! 147 00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,928 ENJOY THE TEEN GOSSIP MACHINE. 148 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,820 [GIGGLING AND WHISPERING] 149 00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:24,501 UH, HEY, LADIES. 150 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,803 GOSSIP SURE TRAVELS FAST, HUH? 151 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,305 HA HA HA. 152 00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,856 OH! 153 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,408 THERE'S A DUDE THAT THINKS HE'S A DRAGON. 154 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,342 DOES HE BREATHE FIRE? 155 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,943 OH, HE'S GONNA FLY! 156 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,879 [LAUGHTER] 157 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:36,946 UH. 158 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:37,580 UHH. 159 00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,249 JOIN US, BROTHER. 160 00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:40,950 [GASPS] 161 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,252 UHH. 162 00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,653 [GASPS] 163 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,055 FANTASY SECTION'S OVER THERE, DRAGON BOY. 164 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:47,057 [GROANS] ROTWOOD, PUNK. 165 00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:50,593 MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FREAK, STUPID GOSSIP. 166 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,063 SPUD! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, MAN? 167 00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:54,964 UH, JUST A SEC, JAKE. 168 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,866 THEY GOT RAPPIN' BABIES ON THE INTERNET NOW. 169 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,068 RAPPIN' BABIES! 170 00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,269 HA HA HA HA HA HA! 171 00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:01,571 ♪ MAMA, MAMA ♪ 172 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,606 ♪ BA BA BA BABA ♪ 173 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,407 ♪ MAMA! ♪ 174 00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:08,411 LOG ON, BLOG ON. UNLOAD. 175 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,569 HMM. 176 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,850 Trixie: OOH-WHEE! 177 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,518 THAT IS A SERIOUS BLOG SLAPPIN' 178 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,854 YOU'RE LAYIN' DOWN ON ROTWOOD, BOY! 179 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,356 BUT ISN'T THIS JUST GONNA MAKE 180 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,924 THE POPULARITY BEAT-DOWN WORSE? 181 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,059 I MEAN, YOU CALLED YOURSELF THE AMDRAG. 182 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,128 NOBODY AT SCHOOL EVEN KNOWS WHAT THE AMDRAG IS. 183 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,331 BESIDES, THERE'S, LIKE, HALF A MILLION BLOGS OUT THERE. 184 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,466 WHO CARES ABOUT MINE? 185 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,035 Girl: HEY, SARAH, CHECK THIS OUT. 186 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,203 COMING! 187 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,437 LOOKS LIKE THE AMERICAN DRAGON 188 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:35,921 FINALLY DISCOVERED CYBERSPACE. 189 00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:37,407 AND HE REALLY HATES THIS GUY CALLED ROTWOOD. 190 00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,409 I WONDER WHAT HE'S SAYIN' ON HIS BLOG. 191 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,310 I GOT TO TAKE A LOOK. 192 00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,480 WHAT SITE'S SHE GOT THERE? 193 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,416 Jake: JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT ROTWOOD COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE... 194 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,386 Rotwood: AND FOR THOSE STUDENTS WITH SPECIAL. 195 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:54,357 DRAGON DIETARY NEEDS, THE CAFETERIA STAFF HAS PREPARED 196 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,642 AN ALTERNATE LUNCH OF... 197 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,928 [CHUCKLES] BRAVE KNIGHTS AND PRETTY DAMSELS. 198 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,029 HA HA! 199 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,174 [LAUGHTER] 200 00:07:01,198 --> 00:07:02,319 Jake: I MEAN, WHY DOES HE ALWAYS. 201 00:07:02,343 --> 00:07:03,466 GOTTA BE HATIN' ON MAGICAL CREATURES? 202 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,001 YEAH, WHAT'S ROTWOOD'S PROBLEM? 203 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,535 Jake: IF YOU LOOK UP EVIL, LYING, 204 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,071 GOOD-FOR-NOTHING, LOSER PUNK IN THE DICTIONARY, 205 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,374 I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW WHO'S PICTURE YOU'D SEE. 206 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,409 FOR SERIOUS, 207 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,445 I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO GET THAT JERK OUT OF MY LIFE. 208 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,779 HE'D GIVE ANYTHING? 209 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,114 ISN'T THE AMERICAN DRAGON SUPPOSED TO BE, 210 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,549 LIKE, A MILLIONAIRE OR SOMETHING? 211 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,384 REALLY? WELL, HE IS FAMOUS, RIGHT? 212 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,520 AREN'T, LIKE, ALL FAMOUS PEOPLE RICH? 213 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,523 AYE, HE USED TO WORK FOR LEPRECHAUNS, YOU KNOW. 214 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,658 [ALL CHATTERING] 215 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,159 WHAT'S GOING ON? 216 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,661 SOME KIND OF MILLION DOLLAR REWARD 217 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,963 FOR A HUMAN CALLED ROTWOOD. 218 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,198 WOW, EASY MONEY! 219 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,435 HEY, CHUCK. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT I JUST HEARD! 220 00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,603 ONLY A COUPLE DAYS LEFT TILL VOTING. 221 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,138 HOW BAD IS MY SCHOOL CRED? 222 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,722 LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY. 223 00:07:43,746 --> 00:07:45,308 IF ANYBODY SAW ME WALKIN' TO SCHOOL WITH YOU, 224 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:48,378 I'D BE KNOWN AS THE BRIDE OF FREAK-ENSTEIN. 225 00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:49,712 AW, MAN! 226 00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,047 THIS IS GONNA GO IN THE YEARBOOK AND EVERYTHING. 227 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,316 WE GOTTA TURN THIS THING AROUND SOMEHOW. 228 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,451 THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMEBODY AT SCHOOL 229 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,052 WHO'S A BIGGER FREAK THAN... 230 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,353 ZOMBIE BAND GEEK! 231 00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:58,455 ARR! 232 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,539 YO, SPUD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 233 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,625 IF A MONKEY HIDING CHEESE AND A COUPLE OF RAPPING BABIES 234 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,462 CAN BE INTERNET VIDEO STARS, ANYONE CAN! 235 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,531 SO I FIGURED, HEY, I'll JUST DRESS UP AS A ZOMBIE BAND GEEK. 236 00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,233 JUMP OUT OF DARK ALLEYS TO SCARE PEOPLE 237 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:14,320 CATCH IT ON DVD AND... WHAT? 238 00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:16,339 SO, YEAH, THERE'S PROBABLY STILL A FEW KIDS AT SCHOOL 239 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,373 FREAKIER THAN YOU. 240 00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,907 YOU MAY BE ALL RIGHT. 241 00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,443 IF YOU COULD JUST KEEP AWAY FROM ANY WEIRDO STUFF 242 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,744 FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK. 243 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,213 AAHR! 244 00:08:23,237 --> 00:08:24,514 UHH! 245 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,082 WHOA! JAKEY! 246 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,585 LET ME GO, OR TASTE MY TALONS, YOU FOOL! 247 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,119 HIT-AND-RUN ARTIST, HUH? 248 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,554 WELL, TASTE THIS! 249 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,512 DRAGON UP! 250 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,660 WHO SENT YOU? 251 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,218 I SAW HIM FIRST. HE'S MINE! 252 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,266 AAH! FORGET IT. 253 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,601 NO REWARD IS WORTH THIS. 254 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:48,093 HEY, I ASKED YOU A QUESTION! 255 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,412 WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? 256 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:59,549 UH, JAKEY... "ROTWOOD?" 257 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,618 [HUMMING] 258 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,052 YUMMY, YUMMY CRULLER... 259 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,487 MAKES MY TUMMY FEEL MUCH FULLER. 260 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,589 A HA HA HA HA! THAT'S A JOKE. 261 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,324 THAT THING WASN'T AFTER ME AT ALL. 262 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,793 I WAS JUST IN THE WAY OF ITS REAL TARGET. 263 00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,062 HMM HMM HMM HMM. 264 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,696 [DRUM ROLL] 265 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,332 WHAT? IT'S FOR DRAMATIC AFFECT. 266 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,269 CRESCENDO, CRESCENDO... SILENCIO! 267 00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,570 UGH, DUDE. 268 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,827 CHILLS. 269 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,326 Fu Dog: A MILLION BUCKS? [WHISTLES] 270 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,078 SO, HYPOTHETICALLY, WHO WOULD I TALK TO ABOUT COLLECTING 271 00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,346 IF I WAS THINKING, YOU... FU DOG! 272 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,448 WHAT? I'D BUY YA SOMETHIN' NICE. 273 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,550 THAT'S THE THING, FU. 274 00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,518 IT DOESN'T SAY WHO'S BEHIND THIS. 275 00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:36,686 WHO WOULD BEAR ILL-WILL TOWARD 276 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,221 A MIDDLE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL? 277 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,056 [SCOFFS] A MIDDLE SCHOOL? 278 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,492 ROTWOOD TOLD ME HE WAS REAL CLOSE TO FINDING OUT 279 00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:44,026 WHERE MAGUS BAZAAR WAS. 280 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,562 SOME BIG SHOT IN THE MAGIC WORLD MUST HAVE FOUND OUT 281 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,430 AND PUT A PRICE ON HIS CAPTURE... 282 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,498 OR WORSE. 283 00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,633 PRINCIPAL ROTWOOD HAS NO IDEA 284 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:51,701 OF THE DANGER HE IS IN. 285 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,452 AND, IF WE ARE TO KEEP HIM 286 00:09:53,476 --> 00:09:55,204 FROM EXPOSING ANY MAGICAL CREATURES, 287 00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,339 HE MUST REMAIN SO. 288 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,141 YOU DON'T EVEN WANT US TO WARN HIM? 289 00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,109 NO, I WANT YOU TO PROTECT HIM. 290 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,711 WITHOUT LETTING HIM KNOW YOU ARE DOING IT. 291 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,580 SAY WHAT? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? 292 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,782 FU DOG AND I WILL SCOUR THE MAGICAL UNDERWORLD 293 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,750 TO FIND OUT WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. 294 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,553 IN THE MEANTIME, YOU MUST FOLLOW ROTWOOD EVERYWHERE. 295 00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:13,656 REMEMBER, ANYONE AND ANYTHING COULD BE A THREAT... 296 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,224 CONSTANT VIGILANCE. [BABIES COOING] 297 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,293 EVEN THE SLIGHTEST DISTRACTION COULD MEAN... 298 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,561 ARTHUR SPUDINSKI! 299 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,496 WHAT IS ON MY COMPUTER? 300 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,132 RAPPING BABIES/ MONKEY HIDING CHEESE 301 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,490 CROSS-OVER VIDEO. 302 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:34,243 KINDA OBVIOUS, BUT, UH, IT WORKS. 303 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,613 [SHUDDERING] UGH. 304 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:39,904 [SCHOOL BELL RINGING] 305 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:44,209 [HUMMING] 306 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,790 Jake: WHAT'S HE DOING, SPUD? 307 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,324 I CAN'T TELL. 308 00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:50,860 BUT WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S REALLY COLORFUL 309 00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,428 AND THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF 'EM. 310 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,263 SAY WHAT? 311 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,367 SPUD, THIS IS A KALEIDOSCOPE. 312 00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:59,769 YEAH, ALL MY SPY GEAR COMES FROM CEREAL BOXES. 313 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,337 I'M HAVIN' MY DOUBTS ABOUT 314 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,839 THE MARSHMALLOWMICROPHONE, TOO. 315 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,608 WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S ALL CLEAR. 316 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,599 FOR NOW, ANYWAY. 317 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,169 [SPLAT] 318 00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:16,541 UH... GUYS? 319 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:23,626 HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BLOBZILLA. 320 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,827 WHOA! 321 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:25,895 UNH! 322 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,463 STOP MOVIN' JAKEY. 323 00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,464 LET US GET A HANDLE ON IT. 324 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,199 TIME FOR A LITTLE PUDDLE STOMPING. 325 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,290 DRAGON UP! 326 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,409 UH... UM, I'M... WHOO! I'M DRAGGIN'... 327 00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:41,477 UNDER THE WEIGHT OF THIS BACKPACK. 328 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,579 WHOO, HOMEWORK TODAY! YEESH! 329 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,548 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' PEOPLE? 330 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,351 GETTING SCHLOPPY, ALREADY, MR. LONG? 331 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,486 OH, HOW ZE GOSSIP MUST BE AFFECTING 332 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,555 YOUR TENDER JUNIOR HIGH SELF-ESTEEM. 333 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:56,292 HERE, HAVE A FLYER! THEY'RE GOING FAST, YOU KNOW. 334 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,761 "JAKE 4 FREAK"? 335 00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,518 UGH! 336 00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,048 UH, JAKE? 337 00:12:03,072 --> 00:12:04,667 MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO BLOG OFF SOME OF THAT STEAM, INSTEAD. 338 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:07,570 ♪ I'VE GOT Wi-Fi ♪ 339 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,539 [ANGRILY] GOOD IDEA. 340 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,341 OH, NOW THAT IS JUST INFURIATIN'. 341 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,876 CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE OF THAT GUY? 342 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,244 WAIT TILL HE GETS HIS! 343 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,378 EH, OH, BIG ERNIE, 344 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,513 I'M TRYIN' TO GET SOME INFORMATION HERE. 345 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,316 YEAH, YEAH. HOLD YOUR CENTAURS, HUH? 346 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,885 AH, COME ON. HE DID NOT! 347 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,620 AAH! ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME? 348 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,223 AIYAA. COME ALONG, FU DOG. 349 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,491 YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THIS. 350 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,526 NO IDEA WHO'S PAYIN', THOUGH. 351 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,461 ASK BEN THE FISH. 352 00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,496 HE'S THE ONE WHO TOLD ME. 353 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,231 ALL I KNOW IS, SKINNY VINNY TELLS ME 354 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,800 SOMEBODY'S PAYIN' TO TAKE CARE OF THIS ROTWOOD CREEP, 355 00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,335 BUT, GOOD. 356 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,886 TELL YA TRUE, 357 00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:42,438 I DON'T QUITE RECOLLECT WHO TOLD ME FIRST. 358 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,907 YA'LL TRY TALKIN' TO BIG ERNIE YET? 359 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:45,975 [GROANS] 360 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,159 OOH, BOY. I JUST HOPE THE KID'S 361 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,001 HAVIN' MORE LUCK THAN WE ARE. 362 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,548 [ALL GROANING] 363 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,318 EW, I GOT BOUNTY HUNTER IN MY MOUTH! 364 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,620 Jake: UHH, GET OFF OF ME! [SMACKING] 365 00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,422 LET ME AT THE ROTWOOD BEAST. 366 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,824 I'll GUM HIM WITHOUT MERCY. 367 00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:02,825 UHH. AAH! 368 00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:06,295 GOOD-BYE, EARLY RETIREMENT. 369 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,820 [HOWLS] 370 00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:10,767 WE HEARD YELLING. YOU ALL RIGHT? 371 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,535 YEAH, I'M... WHAT IN HIMMEL. 372 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,836 IS GOING ON OUT HERE? 373 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:14,771 NOTHING! I MEAN... 374 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,839 UH, I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL. 375 00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:19,224 I MEAN... 376 00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:21,611 NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING TO GET CONTROL... UNDER. 377 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,480 OHH, JAKE, YOU LOOK SO TERRIBLE. 378 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,749 I THINK I MIGHT BE FEELING GUILTY. 379 00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,550 [BELCHES] 380 00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,353 UMM, NEIN, IT VAS A SCHNITZEL BURP. 381 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:33,155 OH, WELL, I'll JUST... [SCREAMING] HELP! 382 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:34,690 IT'S A BIG SERPENT OF PINO TING. 383 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,559 OH-HO... DRAGON UP! 384 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,643 UGH! 385 00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:38,728 AAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! 386 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,814 OH! IT FINALLY WORKED! 387 00:13:41,838 --> 00:13:44,901 I HAVE VIDEOGRAPHIC PROOF OF A DRAGON'S EXISTENCE. 388 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,537 [SIGHS] HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 389 00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,939 THIS IS THE MOST INCREDIBLE FEELING OF MY... 390 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,541 LENS CAP'S ON, BUDDY. 391 00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,409 HUH? HMM? 392 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,078 NOOOOOOO! 393 00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,747 Fu Dog: ALL RIGHT, THE FEW LEADS WE'VE GOT. 394 00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,515 ALL POINT BACK HERE TO... HEY. 395 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:03,608 ISN'T THAT LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE AND DAME DOWNER? 396 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:08,524 SO, WITH ALL THE ROTWOOD CRAZINESS THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS 397 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,959 IT LOOKS LIKE YOU SUNK A LITTLE MORE 398 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,328 ON THE POPULARITY SCALE. 399 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,395 HOW FAR? 400 00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,463 UH, I WOULD SAY RIGHT AROUND THE KID 401 00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,465 WHO SHOVED THE BUG UP HIS NOSE. 402 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,534 [CRICKETS CHIRPING] 403 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,337 IT'S JUST ONE MORE DAY TILL VOTING, JAKEY. 404 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,039 MAYBE IF YOU COULD JUST, YOU KNOW, 405 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,841 CHILL WITH THE FREAKINESS TILL THEN. 406 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,458 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 407 00:14:26,482 --> 00:14:28,077 I'M GETTING ATTACKED BY MUD, GUMMED BY OLD WERE-LADIES. 408 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,612 HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO FREAK OUT 409 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,447 WHEN EVERYBODY I SEE COULD BE A MAGICAL 410 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,983 BOUNTY HUNTER TRYIN' TO... WAIT. 411 00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,807 DOES THAT EGG-SALAD SANDWICH LOOK FUNNY TO YOU? 412 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,855 EGG-SALAD SANDWICHES ALWAYS LOOK FUNNY TO ME. 413 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:42,491 I CALL THEM THE STAND-UP COMEDIANS OF THE DELI WORLD. 414 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,115 AAAH! 415 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,885 UHHHH! 416 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,598 [GASPING] 417 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,567 UNH! REVEAL YOUR TRUE FORM, SHAPE SHIFTER! 418 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,603 I KNOW YOUR EVIL, EGG-Y PLANS! 419 00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:54,837 AAH! UNH! 420 00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:55,972 OH, JAKEY. 421 00:14:55,996 --> 00:15:00,042 YOU... CAN'T... HANDLE... WHAT... I... 422 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,733 GOT? 423 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,179 UH... 424 00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:06,148 I, UH... THOUGHT IT WENT BAD. 425 00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,739 MY BAD. 426 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,545 FREAK. 427 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,960 [VOICE WAVERING] THANK YOU. 428 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,728 [SIGHS] 429 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,497 THEY ACTUALLY THOUGHT THERE WAS A BOUNTY FOR THIS BOZO? 430 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,666 COULD PEOPLE BE ANY MORE IGNORANT? 431 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,901 THEN YOU KNOW HOW THIS HAPPEN? 432 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,158 WHAT VISION HAVE YOU SEEN? 433 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,740 I TOLD YOU THE INTERNET WOULD TAKE THE MAGIC OUT OF MAGIC. 434 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,875 EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED IS ALL HIS FAULT. 435 00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,411 HE'S ALWAYS BEEN OUT TO GET ME, BUT NOW... 436 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,646 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 437 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:37,729 [BEEP] YO, FU, 438 00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:38,814 TELL ME YOU FOUND OUT WHO'S DOING THIS, 439 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,049 SO I CAN BE DONE WITH IT. 440 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,817 OH, WE FOUND OUT. [CHUCKLES] 441 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,119 BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE HAPPY. 442 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,054 I'M ALREADY NOT HAPPY. WHO IS IT? 443 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,656 I'M TALKING TO HIM. 444 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,590 WHAT, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! 445 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,526 I NEVER... I DON'T EVEN HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS! 446 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,628 WELL, JAKE, THAT BLOG YOU BEEN WRITIN'... 447 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,629 ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT ROTWOOD... 448 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,064 THEY TOOK IT ALL OUTTA CONTEXT. 449 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,501 NOT THAT IT WASN'T PRETTY INFLAMMATORY IN CONTEXT. 450 00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,602 I MEAN, WOOF. 451 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,854 OH, MAN, I... I GOTTA... 452 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,907 UH, EVERYTHING'S COOL WITH ME AND ROTWOOD NOW. 453 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,443 NO NEED FOR ANY UGLY STUFF. 454 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,578 "IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING?" 455 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,613 UGH, NO WAY! 456 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,649 THE ROTWOOD BEAST MUST BE FORCING HIM TO SAY THESE LIES. 457 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,651 WE HAVE TO FREE THE LADDY! 458 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,721 [ALL AGREEING] 459 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,172 UH, KID? 460 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,624 MAYBE THE JOURNALISM BUSINESS AIN'T FOR YOU. 461 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,715 [DISMAYED UTTERANCE] 462 00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:28,531 AND, SO, FELLOW FILLMORE MIDDLE SCHOOLIANS, 463 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,599 WHEN YOU VOTE TOMORROW, 464 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,668 REMEMBER NOT JUST THE BEST-LOOKING AND MOST ATHLETIC... 465 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,736 GO, BRADSTER... BUT ALSO, 466 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,604 THOSE WHO GIVE US OUR DAILY HELPINGS 467 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:39,175 OF FANTASY-LOVING, GEEK FREAKINESS. 468 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,242 [GASPS] 469 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,845 JAKE LONG, EVERYBODY! 470 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:43,913 OWF WEINERSTAIN. 471 00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,748 [CHANTING] FREAK, FREAK, FREAK! 472 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,616 FREAK, FREAK, FREAK! 473 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,085 I GOTTA TALK TO YOU. 474 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,942 IN PRIVATE. 475 00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,588 SURRENDERING ALREADY. 476 00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,339 WELL, I HAVE A CAMERA HERE, 477 00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:56,092 IF YOU CARE TO ASSUME YOUR DRAGON FORM. 478 00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,916 NO, LISTEN. I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU THIS, 479 00:16:58,094 --> 00:16:59,061 BUT WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE ANYMORE. 480 00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,863 YOU'RE IN HUGE DANGER. 481 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,631 I CAN HELP YOU HIDE UNTIL... 482 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,616 I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF LIEDERHOSEN 483 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,602 YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL OVER MY EYES, MR. LONG, 484 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:07,803 BUT IT WILL NOT WORK! 485 00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,939 [THUDDING] 486 00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:11,040 [THUD] 487 00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,664 [STOMPING] 488 00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:20,671 [CAR ALARM BLARES] 489 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,021 OOH, LOOKEY, A CIRCUS PARADE. 490 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,756 I DON'T THINK THAT'S A... 491 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,157 OH, I LOVE THE CIRCUS! 492 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,342 [CAR ALARM BEEPS OFF] 493 00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:32,528 AS A BOY, I DREAMED OF BECOMING A FAMOUS JUGGLER, 494 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,530 BUT... IT'S HIM, BOYS. 495 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,533 GET HIM, AND THE MILLION IS OURS! 496 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,634 RAAAH! 497 00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,169 HYAH! HYAH! 498 00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:41,303 AAH! 499 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,294 [CRASH] 500 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,642 AAH! 501 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,332 WHOO-HOO! 502 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,646 THIS IS A CIRCUS OF PAIN! 503 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,670 JUST STAY CLOSE TO ME. 504 00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:54,817 UNH! UGH! 505 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,786 YAH! DRAGON UP! 506 00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:57,887 WAAH! 507 00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,188 OOH. 508 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,179 RAAAH! 509 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,025 HYAH! HYAH! 510 00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,560 YAH! [BLUBBERS] 511 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,928 AAAH! 512 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,229 UNH. 513 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,597 AAH, OH! 514 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,632 RRRR! 515 00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,333 I BREAK YOU! 516 00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,335 YAH! UNH! [GIGGLING] 517 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,761 HANG ON, ROTWOOD, I'M COMING! 518 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:20,609 HA HA HA HA! HUH? 519 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,677 HEE HEE HEE HA! 520 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,013 UH! YAH! OW! 521 00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:24,980 IT BURN! 522 00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:28,617 [SOBBING] 523 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,986 UNH! HYAH! 524 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,811 AAH! 525 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,975 NICE JUGGLING. 526 00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,360 WELL, IT'S LIKE STUFFING A BRATWURST... 527 00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,596 ONCE YOU LEARN, YOU NEVER FORGET. 528 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,598 [MOB SHOUTING] 529 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,701 [ALL TALKING] 530 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,971 OHH, DUKEDULLY-BOBBLEDY, ARE THOSE... 531 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,540 MAGICAL? YEAH. 532 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,132 BUT TRUST ME, YOU DO NOT WANT TO MEET THEM RIGHT NOW. 533 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,361 COME ON, 534 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,713 I GOTTA SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 535 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,614 WHOO! 536 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,973 ACH, I'M FLYING! WHEE! 537 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,120 I... I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 538 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,022 YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE CREATURES ATTACKING ME? 539 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:11,360 AND YOU THINK MY HAIRDO "LOOKS LIKE A CAN OF UGLY EXPLODED?" 540 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,844 I'M SORRY. 541 00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:14,330 I JUST THOUGHT MY BLOG WAS A PLACE TO VENT. 542 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,264 IT'S THE INTERNET, RIGHT? 543 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,699 YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT. 544 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,867 GOSSIP IS GOSSIP, JAKE. 545 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,036 AND IT IS POISONOUS NO MATTER WHAT FORM IT TAKES. 546 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,404 [SIGHS] 547 00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:25,774 AH... WHO AM I TO TALK, HUH? 548 00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,275 I DESERVE ALL OF THIS. 549 00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,777 HAVE BEEN VERY UNFAIR VITH YOU JAKE. 550 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,247 OF ALL PEOPLE, I SHOULD KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE 551 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,814 TO BE RIDICULED FOR TRYING 552 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,383 TO BRING TOGETHER THE HUMAN AND MAGICAL WORLDS. 553 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,820 AH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, WHEE... 554 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:42,958 I SUPPOSE I CAN START A SECOND CAREER TEACHING COMBAT JUGGLING. 555 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,642 ACTUALLY... 556 00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:46,328 I THINK I MAY HAVE A WAY TO MAKE US BOTH HAPPY. 557 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,053 IF YOU'RE WILLING TO TRUST ME. 558 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,800 WHERE... AM I? 559 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,084 IT'S REALLY HIM. 560 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,370 OH, HE'S SO HIDEOUS. WHO GETS THE REWARD? 561 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,371 LISTEN UP, PEOPLE. 562 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:56,672 I KNOW A LOT OF Y'ALL BEEN OUT 563 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,307 FOR THAT MILLION DOLLAR REWARD. 564 00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,341 BUT YOU'RE TOO LATE! 565 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,443 THE ROTWOOD BEAST HAS BEEN CLAIMED 566 00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:02,978 BY THE AMDRAG. 567 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:06,348 THAT'S IT, GAME OVER, THE REWARD IS MINE. 568 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,884 [MOANING AND GROANING] 569 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,969 WAIT... 570 00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,055 WASN'T HE THE ONE WHO PUT UP THE REWARD IN THE FIRST PLACE? 571 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:16,948 EH, WHO CAN REMEMBER WHO THESE THINGS GET STARTED? 572 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,261 THAT'S THE BEST I CAN DO FOR NOW. 573 00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,230 THEY'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE, BUT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KEEP AWAY 574 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,865 FROM THE MAGICAL WORLD FOR A WHILE. 575 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,334 UNICORNS! HA HA! AND, LOOK, A PIXIE! 576 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,203 AH, TROLLS! LEPRECHAUNS! 577 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:32,141 OOH! THIS IS ZE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN ME! 578 00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:33,375 HO HO! I CAN'T STAND IT! 579 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,178 YOU ARE ALL SO FASCINATING. 580 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:37,046 GET AWAY FROM ME! 581 00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,080 OOH! I AM A LIFE-LONG FAN! 582 00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,348 BACK OFF! BACK OFF, YOU! 583 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,050 BREATH-TAKING! 584 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,873 STOP TOUCHING ME! 585 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,388 SO, THAT IS WHY I HAVE DECIDED TO STRIKE THE CATEGORY 586 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:52,917 OF BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK FROM THIS YEAR'S MOSTS AND BESTS BALLOT. 587 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,732 AND IN A COMPLETELY UNRELATED MATTER, 588 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,968 APPARENTLY, A FEW OF MY FANTASY FICTION STORIES 589 00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:02,171 GOT ALL JUMBLISH, NO GOOD, WITH MY PERMANENT RECORD FILES. 590 00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:05,474 IF I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY CREATED ANY RUMORS ABOUT JAKE LONG, 591 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,043 I HEREBY PUT AN END TO THEM. 592 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,012 THAT IS ALL. 593 00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:12,214 THANKS. IT WAS OUR DEAL. 594 00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:13,983 BESIDES, I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU. 595 00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:17,920 I HAVE SEEN THE MAGUS BAZAAR WITH MEIN OWN EYES! 596 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,022 OH, IT IS ENOUGH TO FEEL I HAVE 597 00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,491 FINALLY MADE SOMETHING OF MY LIFE'S WORK! 598 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,960 GOOD TO HEAR IT. WELL... 599 00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,984 LATER. TA. 600 00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,898 OF COURSE, A LITTLE VIDEO EVIDENCE 601 00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:33,068 FOR THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY WOULDN'T HURT. 602 00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:35,504 COME ON, UPLOAD TO MY WEBPAGE. 603 00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,072 SHOW ME THAT DRAGON ACTION! 604 00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,374 BEEPS. 605 00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,476 ZOMBIE BAND-GEEK! RAWOR! 606 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,411 VAS IN HIMMEL! 607 00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,412 HEY, HOW 'BOUT THAT. 608 00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:44,513 LOOK AT ME, HEY, I MADE IT 609 00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:48,039 ONTO THE INTERNET AFTER ALL. 610 00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:49,451 WHA?? 611 00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,152 LOOKING FOR THIS? 612 00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,855 I MADE A LITTLE SWITCH WHILE YOU WERE BLINDFOLDED. 613 00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:55,073 MY PROOF! 614 00:21:55,097 --> 00:21:57,337 [GERMAN ACCENT] OOK! WHAT A MAJOR OOPSIE I HAVE COMMITTED! 615 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,795 BETTER LUCK NEXT BIRTHDAY. 616 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:05,990 RMMMM... JAKE LOOOONG! 617 00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:10,472 Grandpa: SO, NOW I AM BLOXING? BLOGGING. 618 00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,074 SO NOW I AM BLOGGING? 619 00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:13,825 ACTUALLY, GRAMPS, 620 00:22:13,849 --> 00:22:15,577 YOU'RE NOT REALLY BLOGGING UNTIL YOU TYPE SOMETHING. 621 00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:17,079 BUT WHAT DO I TYPE? 622 00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:18,514 JUST... WHATEVER. 623 00:22:18,538 --> 00:22:19,381 TYPE WHAT YOU FEEL. 624 00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:21,439 HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW? 625 00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,054 HUNGRY. 626 00:22:25,078 --> 00:22:26,955 [SPEAKING CHINESE] 627 00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,925 I FAIL TO SEE THE FUN IN THIS BLOGGING. 628 00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:32,516 [SIGHS] NEVER MIND, G.