1
00:00:05,940 --> 00:00:07,050
AW.
2
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:08,118
AHH.
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,302
HUH. STOP THE LEAK BALLOON BOY.
4
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,488
I AIN'T MOVIN'.
5
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,956
OH, NO. I'M GREAT.
6
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,658
I LOVE WASTING MY
WHOLE LUNCH PERIOD
7
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:17,527
WATCHING YOU HAVE A
YAK-ATTACK ALL OVER YOUR BLOG.
8
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,763
YOU COULD ALWAYS
WATCH INTERNET VIDEOS
9
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,064
WITH SPUD INSTEAD.
10
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,033
HA HA HA HA! HEH HEH!
11
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,901
HOW DOES THE MONKEY KEEP FINDING
12
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,170
NEW PLACES TO HIDE THE CHEESE?
13
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,605
PASS. JUST BLOG IT ALL OUT,
14
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,639
AND WE'LL HIT THE COURTYARD.
15
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,908
YOU CAN'T RUSH PASSION, JAKEY.
16
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:34,011
BLOGGING IS THE VOICE
OF OUR GENERATION.
17
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,513
THIS IS HOW WE GET UP
IN FRONT OF THE WORLD
18
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,347
AND SAY YO,
19
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,183
THIS IS WHERE WE STAND,
AND WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED.
20
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,818
WHAT KYLE WILKINS WORE TODAY?
21
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,522
UNLESS KYLE'S WEARING
VINTAGE JEANS AND A MUSCLE TEE.
22
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,525
NOW THAT WILL MOVE ME. MMM, MMM.
23
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,060
CALL THE MOVIN' VAN.
24
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,596
HEY. WHAT'S GOIN' ON OUT THERE?
25
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:53,630
MONKEY HIDING CHEESE.
26
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,665
OH, PLEASE BE A
MONKEY HIDING CHEESE.
27
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,134
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]
28
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,136
Boy: OOH, OOH. WAIT, WAIT.
29
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,637
BRADSTER'S GOT ONE EVEN BETTER.
30
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,939
IN THE FOURTH GRADE,
FREDERICK BUTTERSLEEVES
31
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,674
HAD TO GO TO THE NURSE'S OFFICE
32
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,610
WITH A CRICKET UP HIS NOSE.
33
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,311
[LAUGHTER]
34
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,814
IT WAS MY SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT.
35
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,649
WE GOT A THUMB SUCKER!
36
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,551
Students: OOH!
37
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,435
BRAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
38
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:18,321
THE BRADSTER TOTALLY GANKED
SOME PERMANENT RECORDS
39
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:19,722
FROM ROTWOOD'S OFFICE.
40
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,124
YOU GOT SOMEBODY YOU
WANNA BUY SOME DIRT ON?
41
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,994
THESE BABIES WILL HAVE THEIR
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS
42
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,129
FROM PRESCHOOL TO THIS MORNING.
43
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,164
THIS ISN'T FUNNY, GUYS.
44
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,931
PEOPLE GOT PRIVATE
STUFF IN THERE.
45
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:30,700
Boy: OH, COME ON, THIS IS
GREAT! Girl: IT IS TOO FUNNY.
46
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,985
Boy: COME ON, NOW,
THIS IS TOO GOOD!
47
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,272
YOU GOT PRIVATE STUFF IN
YOUR RECORD, JERK LONG?
48
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,573
LET'S FIND OUT.
49
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,890
HEY, GIMME THAT!
50
00:01:37,914 --> 00:01:39,209
UH, THAT IS NOT
YOUR BUSINESS, BRAD.
51
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,177
LEAVE HIM ALONE!
52
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,260
HUH HO, CHECK IT!
53
00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:42,345
PERSONAL NOTES FROM ROTWOOD.
54
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:45,682
A VERY IMPORTANT PLAYER
IN THE MAGICAL WORLD,
55
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,819
THANKS TO HIS SECRET
DOUBLE-LIFE AS A FIRE...
56
00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:51,121
BREATHING... DRAGON?
57
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:53,145
[ALL GASP]
58
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,959
♪ HE'S COOL ♪
59
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,662
♪ HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ♪
60
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,063
♪ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST ♪
61
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:01,765
♪ HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ♪
62
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,734
♪ PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ♪
63
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:08,371
♪ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ♪
64
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,640
♪ HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ♪
65
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,975
♪ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ♪
66
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,944
♪ DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL ♪
67
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,178
♪ BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ♪
68
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:17,180
♪ A REAL LIVE WIRE ♪
69
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:20,139
♪ AMERICAN DRAGON ♪
70
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,142
♪ AMERICAN DRAGON ♪
71
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,815
♪ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ♪
72
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,661
♪ HIS SKILLS ARE
GETTIN' FASTER ♪
73
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,330
♪ WITH GRANDPA, THE MASTER ♪
74
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,031
♪ HIS DESTINY WELL,
WHAT'S UP, G? ♪
75
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,200
♪ IT'S SHOWTIME,
BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ♪
76
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,434
♪ AMERICAN DRAGON ♪
77
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:39,669
♪ I'M A DRAGON,
I'M NOT BRAGGIN' ♪
78
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,304
♪ IT'S MY DESTINY ♪
79
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:45,108
♪ I'M THE MAGICAL
PROTECTOR OF THE N.Y.C. ♪
80
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,177
YA HEARD!
81
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:54,885
♪ AMERICAN DRAGON ♪
82
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:58,188
UH, ABOUT THAT
FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON STUFF...
83
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,322
I CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. SEE...
84
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,258
Brett: HA HA! JERK LONG.
85
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,492
THINKS HE'S SOME KIND OF DRAGON
86
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,195
IN HIS OWN MAKE
PRETEND FANTASY WORLD.
87
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,163
ALL ABOARD!
88
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,932
THE PIXIE LAND EXPRESS. CUCKOO!
89
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,200
[LAUGHTER]
90
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,768
AT LEAST IT'S A COVER STORY.
91
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,736
BUT YOU CAN'T...
I'M... I'M NOT...
92
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,705
IT'S PROBABLY JUST
ROTWOOD MAKING UP STORIES.
93
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,406
WHO CARES?
94
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,308
IT'S HIL-A-RACIOUS!
95
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,010
AND IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!
96
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,461
THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
97
00:03:21,485 --> 00:03:22,913
HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THESE
FROM ROTWOOD'S OFFICE?
98
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:25,782
[GERMAN ACCENT] DID I LEAVE
THOSE FOLDERS SITTING OUT
99
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,350
WITH THE DOOR OPEN
100
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,919
AND JAKE LONG'S FILE ON
THE TOP OF THE STACK, AGAIN?
101
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:31,454
ACH! WHAT A MAJOR
OOPSIE I HAVE COMMITTED.
102
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:35,025
ONE DAY'S DETENTION
FOR YOU NAUGHTY BOYS.
103
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,093
ONE DAY! THAT'S ALL THEY GET?
104
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,445
OH, AND BY THE WAY, STUDENTS,
105
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,798
NEXT WEEK, WE WILL BE WORKING
ON CLASS MOSTS AND BESTS.
106
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:45,035
YOU KNOW, MOST LIKELY
TO SUCCEED, BEST HAIR,
107
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:48,038
BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK.
108
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,472
SINCE WHEN IS THAT A CATEGORY?
109
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,208
IT, UH, MUST HAVE
JUST BEEN ADDED.
110
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,176
HOW TOTALLY COINCIDENTAL!
111
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,177
ANY NOMINATIONS?
112
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,180
JAKE LONG, FOR
BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK.
113
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,416
YEAH, JAKE LONG! SECOND IT.
114
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,833
Boy: OH, YEAH.
115
00:04:00,857 --> 00:04:02,252
HA HA! DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.
116
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,453
TA.
117
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,277
[GROANS]
118
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,225
YO, YOU WANTED THOSE
PUNKS TO READ MY FILE.
119
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,726
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
120
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,328
ZE DOOR, PLEASE.
121
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:15,065
PERMIT ME TO BE PERFECTLY
FRANK VITH YOU, MR. LONG.
122
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,434
AS A YOUNG STUDENT
OF MAGICAL CREATURES,
123
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,402
I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF.
124
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,039
I SWORE I WOULD EXPOSE
MY FIRST MAGICAL CREATURE
125
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:26,009
TO THE WORLD BY
MY 47th BIRTHDAY.
126
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,177
WHY 47th?
127
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,794
WAS A TYPO.
128
00:04:28,818 --> 00:04:30,413
THAT BIRTHDAY
ARRIVES IN ONE WEEK.
129
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,083
YET, NOTHING TO SHOW
FOR MY LIFE'S VERK.
130
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,918
OH, I HAVE HAD MANY
LEADS OVER THE YEARS.
131
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,154
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW CLOSE
I AM TO FINDING SOMEPLACE
132
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,023
CALLED THE MAGUS BAZAAR.
133
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,258
THE, UH, BIZARRO WHAT NOW?
134
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,494
AND, OF COURSE, I DID LEARN
THAT A CERTAIN YOUNG MAN
135
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,063
LIVES THE SECRET
LIFE OF A DRAGON.
136
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:51,089
BUT, AS WE HAVE SEEN, [ROARS]
137
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:56,172
[SIGHS] YOU ARE NOT
SO EASILY EXPOSED.
138
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:59,476
SO, NOW WE PLAY DIRTY,
LIKE THE SWINEY PIGGIES, JA?
139
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,845
YOU THINK GETTING ME
NOMINATED FOR FREAK OF THE YEAR
140
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,313
IS GONNA PROVE I'M A DRAGON?
141
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:06,149
NO, BUT IT WILL THROW
YOU OFF YOUR GAME.
142
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,417
GET YOU TO MAKE A MISTAKE...
143
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,386
DRAGON UP AT ZE WRONG MOMENT.
144
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,887
AND WHEN YOU DO,
WHO WILL BE THERE
145
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:14,524
TO RECORD THE EVIDENCE OF
YOUR TRUE MAGICAL NATURE?
146
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,725
HANS ROTWOOD!
147
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,928
ENJOY THE TEEN GOSSIP MACHINE.
148
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,820
[GIGGLING AND WHISPERING]
149
00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:24,501
UH, HEY, LADIES.
150
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,803
GOSSIP SURE TRAVELS FAST, HUH?
151
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,305
HA HA HA.
152
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,856
OH!
153
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,408
THERE'S A DUDE THAT
THINKS HE'S A DRAGON.
154
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,342
DOES HE BREATHE FIRE?
155
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,943
OH, HE'S GONNA FLY!
156
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,879
[LAUGHTER]
157
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:36,946
UH.
158
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:37,580
UHH.
159
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,249
JOIN US, BROTHER.
160
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:40,950
[GASPS]
161
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,252
UHH.
162
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,653
[GASPS]
163
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,055
FANTASY SECTION'S
OVER THERE, DRAGON BOY.
164
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:47,057
[GROANS] ROTWOOD, PUNK.
165
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:50,593
MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A
FREAK, STUPID GOSSIP.
166
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,063
SPUD! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, MAN?
167
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:54,964
UH, JUST A SEC, JAKE.
168
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,866
THEY GOT RAPPIN' BABIES
ON THE INTERNET NOW.
169
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,068
RAPPIN' BABIES!
170
00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,269
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
171
00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:01,571
♪ MAMA, MAMA ♪
172
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,606
♪ BA BA BA BABA ♪
173
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,407
♪ MAMA! ♪
174
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:08,411
LOG ON, BLOG ON. UNLOAD.
175
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,569
HMM.
176
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,850
Trixie: OOH-WHEE!
177
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,518
THAT IS A SERIOUS BLOG SLAPPIN'
178
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,854
YOU'RE LAYIN' DOWN
ON ROTWOOD, BOY!
179
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,356
BUT ISN'T THIS JUST GONNA MAKE
180
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,924
THE POPULARITY BEAT-DOWN WORSE?
181
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,059
I MEAN, YOU CALLED
YOURSELF THE AMDRAG.
182
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,128
NOBODY AT SCHOOL EVEN
KNOWS WHAT THE AMDRAG IS.
183
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,331
BESIDES, THERE'S, LIKE, HALF
A MILLION BLOGS OUT THERE.
184
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,466
WHO CARES ABOUT MINE?
185
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,035
Girl: HEY, SARAH,
CHECK THIS OUT.
186
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,203
COMING!
187
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,437
LOOKS LIKE THE AMERICAN DRAGON
188
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:35,921
FINALLY DISCOVERED CYBERSPACE.
189
00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:37,407
AND HE REALLY HATES
THIS GUY CALLED ROTWOOD.
190
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,409
I WONDER WHAT HE'S
SAYIN' ON HIS BLOG.
191
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,310
I GOT TO TAKE A LOOK.
192
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,480
WHAT SITE'S SHE GOT THERE?
193
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,416
Jake: JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT
ROTWOOD COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE...
194
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,386
Rotwood: AND FOR THOSE
STUDENTS WITH SPECIAL.
195
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:54,357
DRAGON DIETARY NEEDS, THE
CAFETERIA STAFF HAS PREPARED
196
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,642
AN ALTERNATE LUNCH OF...
197
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,928
[CHUCKLES] BRAVE KNIGHTS
AND PRETTY DAMSELS.
198
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,029
HA HA!
199
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,174
[LAUGHTER]
200
00:07:01,198 --> 00:07:02,319
Jake: I MEAN, WHY
DOES HE ALWAYS.
201
00:07:02,343 --> 00:07:03,466
GOTTA BE HATIN' ON
MAGICAL CREATURES?
202
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,001
YEAH, WHAT'S ROTWOOD'S PROBLEM?
203
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,535
Jake: IF YOU LOOK
UP EVIL, LYING,
204
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,071
GOOD-FOR-NOTHING, LOSER
PUNK IN THE DICTIONARY,
205
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,374
I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW
WHO'S PICTURE YOU'D SEE.
206
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,409
FOR SERIOUS,
207
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,445
I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO
GET THAT JERK OUT OF MY LIFE.
208
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,779
HE'D GIVE ANYTHING?
209
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,114
ISN'T THE AMERICAN
DRAGON SUPPOSED TO BE,
210
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,549
LIKE, A MILLIONAIRE
OR SOMETHING?
211
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,384
REALLY? WELL, HE
IS FAMOUS, RIGHT?
212
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,520
AREN'T, LIKE, ALL
FAMOUS PEOPLE RICH?
213
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,523
AYE, HE USED TO WORK FOR
LEPRECHAUNS, YOU KNOW.
214
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,658
[ALL CHATTERING]
215
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,159
WHAT'S GOING ON?
216
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,661
SOME KIND OF MILLION
DOLLAR REWARD
217
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,963
FOR A HUMAN CALLED ROTWOOD.
218
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,198
WOW, EASY MONEY!
219
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,435
HEY, CHUCK. YOU'RE NOT GONNA
BELIEVE WHAT I JUST HEARD!
220
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,603
ONLY A COUPLE DAYS
LEFT TILL VOTING.
221
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,138
HOW BAD IS MY SCHOOL CRED?
222
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,722
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.
223
00:07:43,746 --> 00:07:45,308
IF ANYBODY SAW ME
WALKIN' TO SCHOOL WITH YOU,
224
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:48,378
I'D BE KNOWN AS THE
BRIDE OF FREAK-ENSTEIN.
225
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:49,712
AW, MAN!
226
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,047
THIS IS GONNA GO IN THE
YEARBOOK AND EVERYTHING.
227
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,316
WE GOTTA TURN THIS
THING AROUND SOMEHOW.
228
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,451
THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOMEBODY AT SCHOOL
229
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,052
WHO'S A BIGGER FREAK THAN...
230
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,353
ZOMBIE BAND GEEK!
231
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:58,455
ARR!
232
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,539
YO, SPUD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
233
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,625
IF A MONKEY HIDING CHEESE
AND A COUPLE OF RAPPING BABIES
234
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,462
CAN BE INTERNET VIDEO
STARS, ANYONE CAN!
235
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,531
SO I FIGURED, HEY, I'll JUST
DRESS UP AS A ZOMBIE BAND GEEK.
236
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,233
JUMP OUT OF DARK
ALLEYS TO SCARE PEOPLE
237
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:14,320
CATCH IT ON DVD AND... WHAT?
238
00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:16,339
SO, YEAH, THERE'S PROBABLY
STILL A FEW KIDS AT SCHOOL
239
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,373
FREAKIER THAN YOU.
240
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,907
YOU MAY BE ALL RIGHT.
241
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,443
IF YOU COULD JUST KEEP
AWAY FROM ANY WEIRDO STUFF
242
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,744
FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK.
243
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,213
AAHR!
244
00:08:23,237 --> 00:08:24,514
UHH!
245
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,082
WHOA! JAKEY!
246
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,585
LET ME GO, OR TASTE
MY TALONS, YOU FOOL!
247
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,119
HIT-AND-RUN ARTIST, HUH?
248
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,554
WELL, TASTE THIS!
249
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,512
DRAGON UP!
250
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,660
WHO SENT YOU?
251
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,218
I SAW HIM FIRST. HE'S MINE!
252
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,266
AAH! FORGET IT.
253
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,601
NO REWARD IS WORTH THIS.
254
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:48,093
HEY, I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!
255
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,412
WHAT THE HECK
WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
256
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:59,549
UH, JAKEY... "ROTWOOD?"
257
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,618
[HUMMING]
258
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,052
YUMMY, YUMMY CRULLER...
259
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,487
MAKES MY TUMMY FEEL MUCH FULLER.
260
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,589
A HA HA HA HA! THAT'S A JOKE.
261
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,324
THAT THING WASN'T
AFTER ME AT ALL.
262
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,793
I WAS JUST IN THE WAY
OF ITS REAL TARGET.
263
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,062
HMM HMM HMM HMM.
264
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,696
[DRUM ROLL]
265
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,332
WHAT? IT'S FOR DRAMATIC AFFECT.
266
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,269
CRESCENDO,
CRESCENDO... SILENCIO!
267
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,570
UGH, DUDE.
268
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,827
CHILLS.
269
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,326
Fu Dog: A MILLION
BUCKS? [WHISTLES]
270
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,078
SO, HYPOTHETICALLY, WHO
WOULD I TALK TO ABOUT COLLECTING
271
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,346
IF I WAS THINKING,
YOU... FU DOG!
272
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,448
WHAT? I'D BUY YA SOMETHIN' NICE.
273
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,550
THAT'S THE THING, FU.
274
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,518
IT DOESN'T SAY
WHO'S BEHIND THIS.
275
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:36,686
WHO WOULD BEAR ILL-WILL TOWARD
276
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,221
A MIDDLE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL?
277
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,056
[SCOFFS] A MIDDLE SCHOOL?
278
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,492
ROTWOOD TOLD ME HE WAS
REAL CLOSE TO FINDING OUT
279
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:44,026
WHERE MAGUS BAZAAR WAS.
280
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,562
SOME BIG SHOT IN THE MAGIC
WORLD MUST HAVE FOUND OUT
281
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,430
AND PUT A PRICE
ON HIS CAPTURE...
282
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,498
OR WORSE.
283
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,633
PRINCIPAL ROTWOOD HAS NO IDEA
284
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:51,701
OF THE DANGER HE IS IN.
285
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,452
AND, IF WE ARE TO KEEP HIM
286
00:09:53,476 --> 00:09:55,204
FROM EXPOSING ANY
MAGICAL CREATURES,
287
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,339
HE MUST REMAIN SO.
288
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,141
YOU DON'T EVEN
WANT US TO WARN HIM?
289
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,109
NO, I WANT YOU TO PROTECT HIM.
290
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,711
WITHOUT LETTING HIM
KNOW YOU ARE DOING IT.
291
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,580
SAY WHAT? HOW ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
292
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,782
FU DOG AND I WILL SCOUR
THE MAGICAL UNDERWORLD
293
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,750
TO FIND OUT WHO IS
RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.
294
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,553
IN THE MEANTIME, YOU MUST
FOLLOW ROTWOOD EVERYWHERE.
295
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:13,656
REMEMBER, ANYONE AND
ANYTHING COULD BE A THREAT...
296
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,224
CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
[BABIES COOING]
297
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,293
EVEN THE SLIGHTEST
DISTRACTION COULD MEAN...
298
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,561
ARTHUR SPUDINSKI!
299
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,496
WHAT IS ON MY COMPUTER?
300
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,132
RAPPING BABIES/
MONKEY HIDING CHEESE
301
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,490
CROSS-OVER VIDEO.
302
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:34,243
KINDA OBVIOUS,
BUT, UH, IT WORKS.
303
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,613
[SHUDDERING] UGH.
304
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:39,904
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
305
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:44,209
[HUMMING]
306
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,790
Jake: WHAT'S HE DOING, SPUD?
307
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,324
I CAN'T TELL.
308
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:50,860
BUT WHATEVER IT IS,
IT'S REALLY COLORFUL
309
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,428
AND THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF 'EM.
310
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,263
SAY WHAT?
311
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,367
SPUD, THIS IS A KALEIDOSCOPE.
312
00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:59,769
YEAH, ALL MY SPY GEAR
COMES FROM CEREAL BOXES.
313
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,337
I'M HAVIN' MY DOUBTS ABOUT
314
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,839
THE MARSHMALLOWMICROPHONE, TOO.
315
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,608
WELL, IT LOOKS
LIKE IT'S ALL CLEAR.
316
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,599
FOR NOW, ANYWAY.
317
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,169
[SPLAT]
318
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:16,541
UH... GUYS?
319
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:23,626
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BLOBZILLA.
320
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,827
WHOA!
321
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:25,895
UNH!
322
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,463
STOP MOVIN' JAKEY.
323
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,464
LET US GET A HANDLE ON IT.
324
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,199
TIME FOR A LITTLE
PUDDLE STOMPING.
325
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,290
DRAGON UP!
326
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,409
UH... UM, I'M...
WHOO! I'M DRAGGIN'...
327
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:41,477
UNDER THE WEIGHT
OF THIS BACKPACK.
328
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,579
WHOO, HOMEWORK TODAY! YEESH!
329
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,548
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' PEOPLE?
330
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,351
GETTING SCHLOPPY,
ALREADY, MR. LONG?
331
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,486
OH, HOW ZE GOSSIP
MUST BE AFFECTING
332
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,555
YOUR TENDER JUNIOR
HIGH SELF-ESTEEM.
333
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:56,292
HERE, HAVE A FLYER! THEY'RE
GOING FAST, YOU KNOW.
334
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,761
"JAKE 4 FREAK"?
335
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,518
UGH!
336
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,048
UH, JAKE?
337
00:12:03,072 --> 00:12:04,667
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO BLOG OFF
SOME OF THAT STEAM, INSTEAD.
338
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:07,570
♪ I'VE GOT Wi-Fi ♪
339
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,539
[ANGRILY] GOOD IDEA.
340
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,341
OH, NOW THAT IS
JUST INFURIATIN'.
341
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,876
CAN YOU BELIEVE THE
NERVE OF THAT GUY?
342
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,244
WAIT TILL HE GETS HIS!
343
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,378
EH, OH, BIG ERNIE,
344
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,513
I'M TRYIN' TO GET SOME
INFORMATION HERE.
345
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,316
YEAH, YEAH. HOLD
YOUR CENTAURS, HUH?
346
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,885
AH, COME ON. HE DID NOT!
347
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,620
AAH! ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?
348
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,223
AIYAA. COME ALONG, FU DOG.
349
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,491
YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THIS.
350
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,526
NO IDEA WHO'S PAYIN', THOUGH.
351
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,461
ASK BEN THE FISH.
352
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,496
HE'S THE ONE WHO TOLD ME.
353
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,231
ALL I KNOW IS,
SKINNY VINNY TELLS ME
354
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,800
SOMEBODY'S PAYIN' TO TAKE
CARE OF THIS ROTWOOD CREEP,
355
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,335
BUT, GOOD.
356
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,886
TELL YA TRUE,
357
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:42,438
I DON'T QUITE RECOLLECT
WHO TOLD ME FIRST.
358
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,907
YA'LL TRY TALKIN'
TO BIG ERNIE YET?
359
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:45,975
[GROANS]
360
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,159
OOH, BOY. I JUST HOPE THE KID'S
361
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,001
HAVIN' MORE LUCK THAN WE ARE.
362
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,548
[ALL GROANING]
363
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,318
EW, I GOT BOUNTY
HUNTER IN MY MOUTH!
364
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,620
Jake: UHH, GET OFF
OF ME! [SMACKING]
365
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,422
LET ME AT THE ROTWOOD BEAST.
366
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,824
I'll GUM HIM WITHOUT MERCY.
367
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:02,825
UHH. AAH!
368
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:06,295
GOOD-BYE, EARLY RETIREMENT.
369
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,820
[HOWLS]
370
00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:10,767
WE HEARD YELLING. YOU ALL RIGHT?
371
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,535
YEAH, I'M... WHAT IN HIMMEL.
372
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,836
IS GOING ON OUT HERE?
373
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:14,771
NOTHING! I MEAN...
374
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,839
UH, I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.
375
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:19,224
I MEAN...
376
00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:21,611
NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING
TO GET CONTROL... UNDER.
377
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,480
OHH, JAKE, YOU LOOK SO TERRIBLE.
378
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,749
I THINK I MIGHT
BE FEELING GUILTY.
379
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,550
[BELCHES]
380
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,353
UMM, NEIN, IT VAS
A SCHNITZEL BURP.
381
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:33,155
OH, WELL, I'll JUST...
[SCREAMING] HELP!
382
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:34,690
IT'S A BIG SERPENT OF PINO TING.
383
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,559
OH-HO... DRAGON UP!
384
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,643
UGH!
385
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:38,728
AAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
386
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,814
OH! IT FINALLY WORKED!
387
00:13:41,838 --> 00:13:44,901
I HAVE VIDEOGRAPHIC PROOF
OF A DRAGON'S EXISTENCE.
388
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,537
[SIGHS] HAPPY EARLY
BIRTHDAY TO ME!
389
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,939
THIS IS THE MOST
INCREDIBLE FEELING OF MY...
390
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,541
LENS CAP'S ON, BUDDY.
391
00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,409
HUH? HMM?
392
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,078
NOOOOOOO!
393
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,747
Fu Dog: ALL RIGHT, THE
FEW LEADS WE'VE GOT.
394
00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,515
ALL POINT BACK HERE TO... HEY.
395
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:03,608
ISN'T THAT LITTLE MISS
SUNSHINE AND DAME DOWNER?
396
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:08,524
SO, WITH ALL THE ROTWOOD
CRAZINESS THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS
397
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,959
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU
SUNK A LITTLE MORE
398
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,328
ON THE POPULARITY SCALE.
399
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,395
HOW FAR?
400
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,463
UH, I WOULD SAY
RIGHT AROUND THE KID
401
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,465
WHO SHOVED THE BUG UP HIS NOSE.
402
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,534
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
403
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,337
IT'S JUST ONE MORE
DAY TILL VOTING, JAKEY.
404
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,039
MAYBE IF YOU COULD
JUST, YOU KNOW,
405
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,841
CHILL WITH THE
FREAKINESS TILL THEN.
406
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,458
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
407
00:14:26,482 --> 00:14:28,077
I'M GETTING ATTACKED BY MUD,
GUMMED BY OLD WERE-LADIES.
408
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,612
HOW AM I NOT
SUPPOSED TO FREAK OUT
409
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,447
WHEN EVERYBODY I
SEE COULD BE A MAGICAL
410
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,983
BOUNTY HUNTER TRYIN' TO... WAIT.
411
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,807
DOES THAT EGG-SALAD
SANDWICH LOOK FUNNY TO YOU?
412
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,855
EGG-SALAD SANDWICHES
ALWAYS LOOK FUNNY TO ME.
413
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:42,491
I CALL THEM THE STAND-UP
COMEDIANS OF THE DELI WORLD.
414
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,115
AAAH!
415
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,885
UHHHH!
416
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,598
[GASPING]
417
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,567
UNH! REVEAL YOUR TRUE
FORM, SHAPE SHIFTER!
418
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,603
I KNOW YOUR EVIL, EGG-Y PLANS!
419
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:54,837
AAH! UNH!
420
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:55,972
OH, JAKEY.
421
00:14:55,996 --> 00:15:00,042
YOU... CAN'T...
HANDLE... WHAT... I...
422
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,733
GOT?
423
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,179
UH...
424
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:06,148
I, UH... THOUGHT IT WENT BAD.
425
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,739
MY BAD.
426
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,545
FREAK.
427
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,960
[VOICE WAVERING] THANK YOU.
428
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,728
[SIGHS]
429
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,497
THEY ACTUALLY THOUGHT THERE
WAS A BOUNTY FOR THIS BOZO?
430
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,666
COULD PEOPLE BE
ANY MORE IGNORANT?
431
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,901
THEN YOU KNOW HOW THIS HAPPEN?
432
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,158
WHAT VISION HAVE YOU SEEN?
433
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,740
I TOLD YOU THE INTERNET WOULD
TAKE THE MAGIC OUT OF MAGIC.
434
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,875
EVERYTHING THAT'S
HAPPENED IS ALL HIS FAULT.
435
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,411
HE'S ALWAYS BEEN OUT
TO GET ME, BUT NOW...
436
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,646
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
437
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:37,729
[BEEP] YO, FU,
438
00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:38,814
TELL ME YOU FOUND
OUT WHO'S DOING THIS,
439
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,049
SO I CAN BE DONE WITH IT.
440
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,817
OH, WE FOUND OUT. [CHUCKLES]
441
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,119
BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE HAPPY.
442
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,054
I'M ALREADY NOT
HAPPY. WHO IS IT?
443
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,656
I'M TALKING TO HIM.
444
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,590
WHAT, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
445
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,526
I NEVER... I DON'T EVEN
HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS!
446
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,628
WELL, JAKE, THAT
BLOG YOU BEEN WRITIN'...
447
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,629
ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT ROTWOOD...
448
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,064
THEY TOOK IT ALL OUTTA CONTEXT.
449
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,501
NOT THAT IT WASN'T PRETTY
INFLAMMATORY IN CONTEXT.
450
00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,602
I MEAN, WOOF.
451
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,854
OH, MAN, I... I GOTTA...
452
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,907
UH, EVERYTHING'S COOL
WITH ME AND ROTWOOD NOW.
453
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,443
NO NEED FOR ANY UGLY STUFF.
454
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,578
"IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING?"
455
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,613
UGH, NO WAY!
456
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,649
THE ROTWOOD BEAST MUST BE
FORCING HIM TO SAY THESE LIES.
457
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,651
WE HAVE TO FREE THE LADDY!
458
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,721
[ALL AGREEING]
459
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,172
UH, KID?
460
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,624
MAYBE THE JOURNALISM
BUSINESS AIN'T FOR YOU.
461
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,715
[DISMAYED UTTERANCE]
462
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:28,531
AND, SO, FELLOW FILLMORE
MIDDLE SCHOOLIANS,
463
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,599
WHEN YOU VOTE TOMORROW,
464
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,668
REMEMBER NOT JUST THE
BEST-LOOKING AND MOST ATHLETIC...
465
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,736
GO, BRADSTER... BUT ALSO,
466
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,604
THOSE WHO GIVE US
OUR DAILY HELPINGS
467
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:39,175
OF FANTASY-LOVING,
GEEK FREAKINESS.
468
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,242
[GASPS]
469
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,845
JAKE LONG, EVERYBODY!
470
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:43,913
OWF WEINERSTAIN.
471
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,748
[CHANTING] FREAK, FREAK, FREAK!
472
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,616
FREAK, FREAK, FREAK!
473
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,085
I GOTTA TALK TO YOU.
474
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,942
IN PRIVATE.
475
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,588
SURRENDERING ALREADY.
476
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,339
WELL, I HAVE A CAMERA HERE,
477
00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:56,092
IF YOU CARE TO ASSUME
YOUR DRAGON FORM.
478
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,916
NO, LISTEN. I WASN'T
SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU THIS,
479
00:16:58,094 --> 00:16:59,061
BUT WE DON'T HAVE
A CHOICE ANYMORE.
480
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,863
YOU'RE IN HUGE DANGER.
481
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,631
I CAN HELP YOU HIDE UNTIL...
482
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,616
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
KIND OF LIEDERHOSEN
483
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,602
YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL
OVER MY EYES, MR. LONG,
484
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:07,803
BUT IT WILL NOT WORK!
485
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,939
[THUDDING]
486
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:11,040
[THUD]
487
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,664
[STOMPING]
488
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:20,671
[CAR ALARM BLARES]
489
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,021
OOH, LOOKEY, A CIRCUS PARADE.
490
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,756
I DON'T THINK THAT'S A...
491
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,157
OH, I LOVE THE CIRCUS!
492
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,342
[CAR ALARM BEEPS OFF]
493
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:32,528
AS A BOY, I DREAMED OF
BECOMING A FAMOUS JUGGLER,
494
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,530
BUT... IT'S HIM, BOYS.
495
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,533
GET HIM, AND THE
MILLION IS OURS!
496
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,634
RAAAH!
497
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,169
HYAH! HYAH!
498
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:41,303
AAH!
499
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,294
[CRASH]
500
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,642
AAH!
501
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,332
WHOO-HOO!
502
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,646
THIS IS A CIRCUS OF PAIN!
503
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,670
JUST STAY CLOSE TO ME.
504
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:54,817
UNH! UGH!
505
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,786
YAH! DRAGON UP!
506
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:57,887
WAAH!
507
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,188
OOH.
508
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,179
RAAAH!
509
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,025
HYAH! HYAH!
510
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,560
YAH! [BLUBBERS]
511
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,928
AAAH!
512
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,229
UNH.
513
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,597
AAH, OH!
514
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,632
RRRR!
515
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,333
I BREAK YOU!
516
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,335
YAH! UNH! [GIGGLING]
517
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,761
HANG ON, ROTWOOD, I'M COMING!
518
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:20,609
HA HA HA HA! HUH?
519
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,677
HEE HEE HEE HA!
520
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,013
UH! YAH! OW!
521
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:24,980
IT BURN!
522
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:28,617
[SOBBING]
523
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,986
UNH! HYAH!
524
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,811
AAH!
525
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,975
NICE JUGGLING.
526
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,360
WELL, IT'S LIKE
STUFFING A BRATWURST...
527
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,596
ONCE YOU LEARN,
YOU NEVER FORGET.
528
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,598
[MOB SHOUTING]
529
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,701
[ALL TALKING]
530
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,971
OHH, DUKEDULLY-BOBBLEDY,
ARE THOSE...
531
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,540
MAGICAL? YEAH.
532
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,132
BUT TRUST ME, YOU DO NOT
WANT TO MEET THEM RIGHT NOW.
533
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,361
COME ON,
534
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,713
I GOTTA SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
535
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,614
WHOO!
536
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,973
ACH, I'M FLYING! WHEE!
537
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,120
I... I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
538
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,022
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR
THOSE CREATURES ATTACKING ME?
539
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:11,360
AND YOU THINK MY HAIRDO "LOOKS
LIKE A CAN OF UGLY EXPLODED?"
540
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,844
I'M SORRY.
541
00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:14,330
I JUST THOUGHT MY BLOG
WAS A PLACE TO VENT.
542
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,264
IT'S THE INTERNET, RIGHT?
543
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,699
YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT.
544
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,867
GOSSIP IS GOSSIP, JAKE.
545
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,036
AND IT IS POISONOUS NO
MATTER WHAT FORM IT TAKES.
546
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,404
[SIGHS]
547
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:25,774
AH... WHO AM I TO TALK, HUH?
548
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,275
I DESERVE ALL OF THIS.
549
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,777
HAVE BEEN VERY
UNFAIR VITH YOU JAKE.
550
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,247
OF ALL PEOPLE, I SHOULD
KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE
551
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,814
TO BE RIDICULED FOR TRYING
552
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,383
TO BRING TOGETHER THE
HUMAN AND MAGICAL WORLDS.
553
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,820
AH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO ME, WHEE...
554
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:42,958
I SUPPOSE I CAN START A SECOND
CAREER TEACHING COMBAT JUGGLING.
555
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,642
ACTUALLY...
556
00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:46,328
I THINK I MAY HAVE A WAY
TO MAKE US BOTH HAPPY.
557
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,053
IF YOU'RE WILLING TO TRUST ME.
558
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,800
WHERE... AM I?
559
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,084
IT'S REALLY HIM.
560
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,370
OH, HE'S SO HIDEOUS.
WHO GETS THE REWARD?
561
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,371
LISTEN UP, PEOPLE.
562
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:56,672
I KNOW A LOT OF Y'ALL BEEN OUT
563
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,307
FOR THAT MILLION DOLLAR REWARD.
564
00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,341
BUT YOU'RE TOO LATE!
565
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,443
THE ROTWOOD BEAST
HAS BEEN CLAIMED
566
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:02,978
BY THE AMDRAG.
567
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:06,348
THAT'S IT, GAME OVER,
THE REWARD IS MINE.
568
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,884
[MOANING AND GROANING]
569
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,969
WAIT...
570
00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,055
WASN'T HE THE ONE WHO PUT UP
THE REWARD IN THE FIRST PLACE?
571
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:16,948
EH, WHO CAN REMEMBER WHO
THESE THINGS GET STARTED?
572
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,261
THAT'S THE BEST I
CAN DO FOR NOW.
573
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,230
THEY'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE, BUT
YOU MIGHT WANT TO KEEP AWAY
574
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,865
FROM THE MAGICAL
WORLD FOR A WHILE.
575
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,334
UNICORNS! HA HA!
AND, LOOK, A PIXIE!
576
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,203
AH, TROLLS! LEPRECHAUNS!
577
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:32,141
OOH! THIS IS ZE BEST BIRTHDAY
PRESENT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN ME!
578
00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:33,375
HO HO! I CAN'T STAND IT!
579
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,178
YOU ARE ALL SO FASCINATING.
580
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:37,046
GET AWAY FROM ME!
581
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,080
OOH! I AM A LIFE-LONG FAN!
582
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,348
BACK OFF! BACK OFF, YOU!
583
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,050
BREATH-TAKING!
584
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,873
STOP TOUCHING ME!
585
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,388
SO, THAT IS WHY I HAVE
DECIDED TO STRIKE THE CATEGORY
586
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:52,917
OF BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK FROM
THIS YEAR'S MOSTS AND BESTS BALLOT.
587
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,732
AND IN A COMPLETELY
UNRELATED MATTER,
588
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,968
APPARENTLY, A FEW OF MY
FANTASY FICTION STORIES
589
00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:02,171
GOT ALL JUMBLISH, NO GOOD,
WITH MY PERMANENT RECORD FILES.
590
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:05,474
IF I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY CREATED
ANY RUMORS ABOUT JAKE LONG,
591
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,043
I HEREBY PUT AN END TO THEM.
592
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,012
THAT IS ALL.
593
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:12,214
THANKS. IT WAS OUR DEAL.
594
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:13,983
BESIDES, I SHOULD
BE THANKING YOU.
595
00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:17,920
I HAVE SEEN THE MAGUS
BAZAAR WITH MEIN OWN EYES!
596
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,022
OH, IT IS ENOUGH TO FEEL I HAVE
597
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,491
FINALLY MADE SOMETHING
OF MY LIFE'S WORK!
598
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,960
GOOD TO HEAR IT. WELL...
599
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,984
LATER. TA.
600
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,898
OF COURSE, A LITTLE
VIDEO EVIDENCE
601
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:33,068
FOR THE SCIENTIFIC
COMMUNITY WOULDN'T HURT.
602
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:35,504
COME ON, UPLOAD TO MY WEBPAGE.
603
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,072
SHOW ME THAT DRAGON ACTION!
604
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,374
BEEPS.
605
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,476
ZOMBIE BAND-GEEK! RAWOR!
606
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,411
VAS IN HIMMEL!
607
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,412
HEY, HOW 'BOUT THAT.
608
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:44,513
LOOK AT ME, HEY, I MADE IT
609
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:48,039
ONTO THE INTERNET AFTER ALL.
610
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:49,451
WHA??
611
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,152
LOOKING FOR THIS?
612
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,855
I MADE A LITTLE SWITCH
WHILE YOU WERE BLINDFOLDED.
613
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:55,073
MY PROOF!
614
00:21:55,097 --> 00:21:57,337
[GERMAN ACCENT] OOK! WHAT A
MAJOR OOPSIE I HAVE COMMITTED!
615
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,795
BETTER LUCK NEXT BIRTHDAY.
616
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:05,990
RMMMM... JAKE LOOOONG!
617
00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:10,472
Grandpa: SO, NOW I AM
BLOXING? BLOGGING.
618
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,074
SO NOW I AM BLOGGING?
619
00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:13,825
ACTUALLY, GRAMPS,
620
00:22:13,849 --> 00:22:15,577
YOU'RE NOT REALLY BLOGGING
UNTIL YOU TYPE SOMETHING.
621
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:17,079
BUT WHAT DO I TYPE?
622
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:18,514
JUST... WHATEVER.
623
00:22:18,538 --> 00:22:19,381
TYPE WHAT YOU FEEL.
624
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:21,439
HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW?
625
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,054
HUNGRY.
626
00:22:25,078 --> 00:22:26,955
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
627
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,925
I FAIL TO SEE THE
FUN IN THIS BLOGGING.
628
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:32,516
[SIGHS] NEVER MIND, G.