(GROWLING)
GIRL: I'm scared.
BOY: The village is this way.
(GROWLING)
(GASPS)
-Shh. We must hide. -(HEAVY FOOTSTEPS)
(GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
SPUD: Hey, it's dark in here.
Dude, we're outside. Take that thing off.
It's my camping sleep mask.
Note the camouflage.
Thanks for coming, you guys.
Dude, thank you.
Camping rocks.
It is only in the quiet of nature
that we can hear the sound of our own souls.
Mmm. Bring out the s'mores!
-S'mores what? -S'mores.
S'mores what?
S'mores.
-S'mores what? -S'mores.
-S'mores what? -S'mores!
S'mores what?
Well, have fun kids. Haley and I are off
for our weekend at the spa.
Sorry you and Dad aren't as bonded as mommy and I.
Speaking of which,
I want you to be patient with your father, Jake.
He's been looking forward to this trip for months.
Sure thing, Mom. As long as
he doesn't do anything too embarrassing.
All righty, gang.
Let's saddle up and hit the trail.
(GRUNTING)
(CRASHES)
Looky what I found, gang.
Yeah. It's my old cougar scout uniform.
Cougar code states...
Roar. Respect, obey all rules. Roar!
(LAUGHING)
All righty. Let's bust a move
and get this party started, y'all.
(IMITATES BEAT BOX)
Aw, man.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ He's cool ♪
♪ He's hot like a frozen sun ♪
♪ He's young and fast ♪
♪ He's the chosen one ♪
♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪
♪ He's the American Dragon ♪
♪ He's gonna stop his enemies ♪
♪ With his dragon power ♪
♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail ♪
♪ Burnin' dragon fire ♪
♪ Real live wire ♪
♪ American Dragon ♪
Dragon up!
♪ American Dragon ♪
Oh, oh, oh. Whoa!
♪ He's the American Dragon ♪
♪ Skills are gettin' faster ♪
♪ With grandpa, the master ♪
♪ His destiny will walk up sheets ♪
♪ It's showtime, baby, for the legacy ♪
♪ American Dragon ♪
♪ From the "J" to the "A" ♪
♪ To the "K" to the "E" ♪
♪ I'm the mackdaddy dragon of the N.Y.C. ♪
Ya heard!
Jake! Get back to work!
Aw, man.
Dad, do you really have to wear that old cougar uniform?
Well, I didn't have to, son,
I wanted to.
I mean, imagine my surprise
when I tried this baby on,
and it still fit like a glove.
(RATTLING)
Get down, guys.
Another one's gonna blow.
(AIR WHOOSHING OUT)
Dad, could you maybe try to just be
a little more, you know, cool?
(LAUGHING) Now Jake,
when have I ever been not cool, huh? (SNORTS)
Well...
Ok, gang. Smiles!
-(WATER WHOOSHING) -Ahh!
(SPITS)
(CRASHES)
Whoa! Make it stop! Make it stop!
(LAUGHTER)
Oh, don't worry about a thing, son.
This weekend your old man's
gonna be as cool as a cucumber, huh?
Hey, speaking of cool,
let's sing a song.
♪ Oh ♪
Dad, don't. I'm begging you.
♪ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt ♪
♪ His name is my name, too ♪
♪ Whenever we go out ♪
♪ The people always shout ♪
-♪ There goes John Jacob ♪ -Dad!
♪ Jingleheimer Schmidt ♪
Trixie and Spud don't wanna sing some lame--
BOTH: ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪
Everybody!
♪ Schmiggity schmidty, look who's pretty ♪
♪ going down to campground city ♪
♪ Check it, his name is John ♪
♪ Yo, my name's, too ♪
♪ Shake your jeemer heimer like you like to do ♪
♪ ba, da, da, da, da, da ♪
♪ Whenever we go out ♪
♪ The people always shout ♪
♪ There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt ♪
♪ da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪
Jake, why aren't you singing?
Public domain songs make me nauseous.
Ha ha!
I hear you, son.
You know, car trips make me queasy, too.
Like the time we stopped at the all-you-can-eat pea soup place
on the way to Grandma's.
Dad.
Yeah. I ate 6 bowls of pea soup,
a green goddess salad, and a side of guac,
and, well, let's just say
the upholstery in here
was never quite the same after that.
Eww!
No way. Ha. The same thing happened to me
on a road trip to Reno.
Everything was just so...
-Green? -Whoa. You nailed it, Jake's dad.
(LAUGHING) You rock.
Hey! Last one to the campsite is a rotten egg.
Hey, speaking of rotten eggs,
did I ever tell you kids
about the time I ate a batch of sour quiche?
SPUD: Carrie's quiche-ateria, right?
(GROANS)
Haley, you are going to love this.
There's nothing more relaxing
than a weekend at a nice, quiet, peaceful--
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
Buckle up, shut up, and listen up!
That's relaxing?
I think we may have boarded the wrong bus.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
What part of-- (WHISTLE BLOWS) Do you not understand?
You're leaving here soft and flabby,
but you're coming back rock hard!
Now first things first. We've set up the tents.
Lucky for you cougar cubs,
I have my tent badge
so there's no need to get all tense.
(LAUGHING) Get it?
Tense 'cause it's, like, a play on words.
Ok, so what time is check-in at our hotel?
I wanna make sure we get a room near the ice machine.
Hotel? I don't think you get it, Trixie.
We're camping.
That means we sleep outside.
Outside? Like, on the veranda
of our hotel or something?
You don't get out of the city much, do you, Trix?
Seriously, though. On the real.
Where's the hotel?
'cause I'm not even playing with you no more.
(MUMBLING)
Well, I guess the old tent assembly skills
are a little bit rusty. (SCREAMING)
Oh, I'm sorry, guys.
I know my Dad can be ultra lame.
Yeah. If by ultra lame you mean ultra cool.
Why you trippin', Jakey?
Papa dog's just doing his parent thing.
It's all love and gravy over here.
Yeah, well, if we don't do our own thing,
we're gonna be sleeping without a tent.
Dragon up.
Hwah! yYa! Hwah!
Well, shine my shoes and call me dapper.
Golly, that was quick.
You know, I knew you had cougar blood in you, son.
(GROWLS)
Now you know what would be a great thing
for cougar and his cub to do together?
Light a campfire.
I'll show you how, ok?
Well, stitch up my jeans and call me patchy.
I guess you got it covered there, cougie, huh? (LAUGHTER)
Must have another s'more.
No. Too full.
Must stop eating.
Cannot resist marshmallow goodness.
(CHEWING LOUDLY) Oh. Mmm.
Ok. I'm trying to get hip
to the whole great outdoors thing,
but I do have one question.
Where's the ladies' room at?
'Cause I gotta go.
(WHISPERING)
Huh?
I gotta do what in the what what?
And bring my own who?
Oh, no. See, home girl's gonna hold it.
(YAWNING)
Well, good night, kids.
Don't stay up too late. I have got a full day
planned for tomorrow.
Oh, I can't wait.
The American Dragon.
You've come to rescue us.
We are saved.
Whoa, whoa. Slow down. I-- I--
-Gotcha! -(GRUNTS)
Cougar code states mosquitoes suck your blood
and carry malaria.
Do your best to not let 'em scare ya.
Thank goodness for my cougar handy claw 2000.
Complete with fly swatter.
Well, time for the old cougar good night.
Grr...
(WHISPERING) Good night.
Are you ok?
Sorry about my dad.
You must help us.
Us? Who's us?
Follow me, American Dragon. This way!
Welcome to the sprite village of Avon.
SPUD: Whoa. Check it out.
A tiny sprite city.
Do you think they have tiny cheese graters
and tiny hot tubs?
Or a tiny, little ladies' room perhaps?
Come. The village elders have been expecting you.
(CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE)
The stars tell us that once every 100 years
a great evil will rise from these woods
and attack our village for 7 consecutive nights.
The Jersey Devil.
He will raid our crop supplies
and pillage our food stores,
leaving us to starve during the winter months.
(SPITS) (WHISTLING)
Man, that's whack.
Why can't y'all just call out for,
like, a little, tiny pizza or something?
I'd be happy to make you some s'mores if that would--
But the stars also tell us
that every 100 years,
a great hero will rise
to defeat this evil
and save our village.
Yo, check it.
They're talkin' about your big, bad dragon business, boy.
Totally. You're their hero.
Ha. Yeah, that sounds about right.
So when's this Jersey Devil gonna make his next appearance?
I got some free space in the schedge next summer.
The stars are very specific about the time.
(HOWLING) Uh...
Let me take a wild guess.
It's coming tonight, isn't it?
(HOWLING)
Ok. Just to clarify, yo.
Do you or do you not have a bathroom?
(HOWLING)
(ALL YELLING)
Dragon up.
Hyah!
(HOWLING)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Ha! Not bad, Jersey.
Now let's see how you like this.
Ow, ow, ow!
(HOWLING)
(CRIES OUT)
Yeah, man.
He don't even know who he messing with!
Yeah, take that, buddy!
I am afraid it is not over.
The stars say that the creature
will return for 7 consecutive nights
Unless--
Unless I stop it.
Yo, I don't care if it's on the ground or what,
but Trixie needs some shut eye for real.
I heard that.
I need a good 8 hours of nice--
(YAWNS) Quiet, peaceful--
DAD: Wakey, wakey! Eggs and bakey!
(TROMBONE PLAYING)
Come on, son. Up and at 'em.
Cougar scout code states
ain't no sleepin' once the sun comes a-peepin'.
(LAUGHING) I love that one.
Aw, man.
(TROMBONE PLAYING)
Ok. I'll just go explain that we're in the wrong place
-And-- -Mom,
Why don't you let me talk to her?
Nobody can say no to me.
Haley, that cute, little girl routine will never work.
We've gotta approach this thing with a firm--
Please, mommy.
WOMAN: let's do some crunches!
Ok. Go for it, sugar bear.
Brussels sprouts await!
Excuse me, nice lady,
But I'm afraid my mom and I don't belong here.
That's what they all say, sister!
Now crunch!
But look how cute I--
You just cost yourself 3 brussels sprouts.
Wanna go for 4?
-(THUDDING) -That woman has ice in her veins.
Mm-mmm.
This breakfast, papa dog--
Mmm. It's off the chain.
Oh, well, thank you there, t-cat, yo.
(LAUGHING) but, you know,
I can't take all the credit.
The cougar handy claw has a cooking attachment.
Y-y-ah. Oh!
Nifty, huh? Now finish up, kiddos.
I have got a full day of cougar bonding planned.
That sounds great for you.
I'll be in my tent sleeping.
(LAUGHING) No, sirree, bob.
No son of mine spends his weekend
In the great outdoors sleeping the day away.
We have got a lean-to to build,
brook trout to catch, edible moss to forage for,
and animal droppings to identify.
Uh...Dad, maybe you should get started
on all that bonding stuff without me.
I have something I gotta do in the woods.
Oh, gotcha.
Take a shovel, little man.
Not that kind of something, Dad.
Trixie, Spud, you coming?
Actually, Dad's plan
sounds kind of cool. Ha.
You know me, I love foraging.
Yeah. I'm-a take my chances with papa dog.
Maybe we'll go hiking somewhere with indoor plumbing.
Fine. I'll catch up with you guys later.
Can you make s'mores with brook trout?
Oh, sure thing, Spudster.
They're called gilly snacks.
All right, Jake's dad. Rockin'!
ALL: ooh.
Dragon, you came.
(CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE)
Yeah, yeah. Cool. I know, but I was wondering if you guys had
a few tiny beds you can push together for me?
I got some z's to catch up on in.
Z's? There's no time for z's
when that creature is approaching.
Who'll spend the day preparing?
Well, I guess that's better
than identifying animal droppings.
Ok. Here's what we gotta do.
We'll build a trap at the entrance of the village.
That way, when Jersey boy comes for his pantry raid,
We'll be ready.
We sprites are forever in your debt, dragon.
Hey, I'll this over foraging
for edible moss any day.
Hey, yo. I think I got a bite.
-(RATTLING) -Unh, unh.
Oh. Oh. Whoa!
I got it! I got it! whoa!
(SIGHS)
(GROANS)
Oh!
Easy now, girl. We've got ya.
(WHIMPERING)
(GRUNTING)
Yo, you think any of y'all sprites
can help a dragon out here?
Not that kind of help.
There's just so much beauty in the world.
(CRYING)
I can't believe Jakey is missing this.
(SIGHS) At first I thought he was just having
a case of the cougar two-step, you know,
But now I'm-- I'm starting to get
the feeling that he's avoiding me.
Nah, p-dog. It's not like that.
He's just, um, well, you know,
He's just, uh--
Aight. Peep this.
We'll go find him for you. Don't trip, p-dog.
We'll get Jake and bring him back to camp in time for dinner.
Dinner? They call that dinner?
A steamed turnip and a parsley sprig. I don't think so.
I know there's food in here somewhere.
(DOOR CREAKS)
(GASPS) There!
It's locked.
Now, Haley. I think a little dragon fire
might just melt that lock right off. What do you think?
But the mean lady says that food is just a substitute
for feelings of inadequacy--
Uh-huh. Tell that to someone
that didn't do 600 crunches today!
-Now melt! -We're gonna get in trouble.
(CLANKING)
(ALARM BLARES)
Put down the candied ham.
Run!
(ANIMAL HOWLING)
You're missing some serious bonding, dude.
In case you haven't noticed,
I have a whole village of sprites to protect.
Dad will have plenty of time to embarrass me later.
Dude, you're embarrassing yourself.
Your dad's cool as a fan.
-He showed us how to catch trout. -And birth a deer.
And how to prevent forest fires.
Uh, wait. No, that was that bear--
The talking bear.
You know, you're lucky to have this time with papa dog.
I haven't even seen my dad since his air force unit got shipped overseas.
Oh, man. Way to kill my sugar buzz, Trix.
(CRUNCHING) S'mores? S'mores?
Yeah. I guess I should go find my dad.
(HOWLING)
Speaking of the Jersey Devil.
(HOWLING)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(HOWLING)
Listen, Jersey.
The stars already predicted me
Giving you a heaping helping of hiney-whoop,
so why don't you just take a dive?
Whoa! (GRUNTS)
That thing is heading right for sprite village. We gotta stop it.
Dude, do you know what's right between here
and the sprite village?
(GASPS) Our campsite.
But--but-- that means--
Dad!
Dad! dad! can you hear me?
Hey, papa dog!
Mr. L.!
His scout uniform.
Oh, no! Dad!
(HOWLING)
That's it. This time, it's personal.
(ECHOING) Dragon up.
Ok, now. That's just showing off.
Hey, yo, Jake. Wait up, baby.
Watch the light, Haley.
(BARKING)
When does the relaxing part start, mommy?
When we get over that fence.
If my cute face had worked,
none of this would have happened.
Oh, Haley. This isn't your fault.
I'm the one who dragged you on the wrong bus
and then encouraged you
to use your dragon powers to break the rule.
Mom, that's it! Dragon powers.
Now that's what I call cute.
(SNIFFING)
Can you do it?
(DOG BARKING)
Wow, mommy. You're really light.
I think you've lost some weight.
(HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(HOWLING)
All right, Jersey.
Come on out and fight like a man, you mutant.
Hiya! Hwah!
Ooh. Ha!
Ha ha!
Wa-ha!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Whoa!
(GROWLING)
There's more where that came from, Jersey.
(SCREAMING)
(GROWLING)
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
(EXCLAIMS)
Whoa! (CRASHES)
(GROANING)
(HOWLING)
(GROANING)
Whoa!
Ahh!
(GROWLING)
(TROMBONE PLAYING)
Nobody messes with my son.
(BEEPS)
Eat bear spray!
Hunh!
(BEEPS)
(GROANING)
Oh, hold on there, Jake.
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
Dad, you're alive.
Mr. L., where have you been?
And what happened to your clothes, yo?
Well, when that bear attacked our camp,
(STAMMERING) I went into survival mode.
Cougar scout code: when evading a wild animal,
you must discard your clothes
And cover yourself in mud to hide your scent.
That wasn't a bear. That was a--
Well, as soon as I saw it, I went looking for you kids.
Nothing's gonna happen to you on my watch, Jake.
Cougar scout code?
No. Father code.
Dad, do you think there still might be
enough time to do some of that
Bonding you were talking about?
Oh, well, heck yeah, son.
What do you say we sing another song
on our way back to camp?
♪ Oh-- ♪
Only if we get to choose the song.
Gotcha. Kick it, kids.
♪ Kickin' it campin' style in the woods ♪
♪ Things ain't all bad but they sure ain't good ♪
♪ No bathroom, no hot tub, not even a bed ♪
♪ If it wasn't for the p-dog we'd all be dead ♪
♪ Yo, check it out ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm on the level ♪
♪ Papa dog beat the Jersey-- ♪
Bear.
(IMITATING BEAT BOX)
A-wicky, wicky whoo.
Wicky whoo, whoo, whoo.
(WHISPERING) Psst. Hey, American Dragon.
Oh, no. Not again.
Come with me. You must see.
We are dedicating a statue to our hero.
(ALL CHEERING)
Guys, you really didn't have to do all this.
Behold!
SPRITES: Whoo!
My dad?
He is our greatest hero.
Yeah. Mine, too.
Home sweet home, cougar kids.
Bathroom!
Well, what a coinky-dink. Your mom's home.
How was the bonding weekend, girls?
Perfect. We had a wonderful,
Bonding, life-affirming--
(GASPS) Are those s'mores?
(CRUNCHING)
(SCREAMING)
HALEY: Mommy! save some for me.
MOM: Marshmallow heaven.