1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,250 Yo, welcome to the Jake Invitational, 2 00:00:04,420 --> 00:00:06,500 where y'all get to challenge the reigning skate champ 3 00:00:06,670 --> 00:00:09,210 -of the five boroughs... Me! -(CROWD CHEERS) 4 00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:14,510 Quick shout-out to last week's challenger, Rick Malamute. 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:18,220 The Rickster's just been upgraded to stable at County General, people. 6 00:00:18,390 --> 00:00:22,140 And remember, a do-rag is not a substitute for a helmet. Okay. 7 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:32,240 JAKE: Oh, yeah. 8 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,200 (CROWD CHEERING) 9 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,030 NIGEL: (LAUGHS) Brilliant. 10 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,250 I'd score you a perfect ten... Out of 20. 11 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,620 Huh. Looks like we got a challenger. 12 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,550 With the lady's permission... 13 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,690 -(CROWD CHEERING) -Awesome! 14 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,360 Uh, you squashed her lunch. 15 00:01:16,530 --> 00:01:17,660 Did I? 16 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,330 You'll find the salad tossed... 17 00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:24,660 The orange peeled... 18 00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:29,040 And the personal pizza cut in fourths. 19 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,590 Ha! Nice tr... 20 00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:33,800 ...y. 21 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,590 Whoa, dude! 22 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:39,220 Nigel Thrall, Fillmore Middle School's newest exchange student. 23 00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:40,800 Spiffing to meet you. 24 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,930 "Spiffing"? Yo, maybe they talk like that where you're from, 25 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,730 but you're stateside now. 26 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,560 Trix, let's show our friend how we flow in the NYC. 27 00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:53,110 Yeah, baby Jake, let's do this. 28 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,400 (RAPPING) ♪ Little lost kitten just in from Great Britain ♪ 29 00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:58,070 ♪ Got your tail between your legs from the rhymes I'm spitting ♪ 30 00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,990 -(ALL CHEERING) -Yeah, Jake! 31 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,660 Oh, is this what they call freestyle rap? 32 00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:05,870 Oh, yes, may I contribute a verse? 33 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,500 Okay. Oh, dear. Let's see... 34 00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:11,790 ♪ Checkity check it, for goodness sake ♪ 35 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,170 ♪ Your hair's like a weed It needs a good rake ♪ 36 00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:16,170 -CROWD: Ooh! -No, he didn't. 37 00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:18,970 ♪ Yo, the dollar's worth less than the pound in the UK ♪ 38 00:02:19,130 --> 00:02:21,470 ♪ Try not to cry when I'm pounding you, 'k? ♪ 39 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,260 (CROWD CHEERING) 40 00:02:23,430 --> 00:02:25,640 ♪ You don't reach my knees on the b-ball court ♪ 41 00:02:25,810 --> 00:02:28,270 ♪ Why's a kid named Long got to be so short? ♪ 42 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,060 (ALL CHEERING) 43 00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:32,980 Be honest. How'd I do? 44 00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:34,150 Uh... 45 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,690 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 46 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:38,860 ♪ He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪ 47 00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:42,030 ♪ He's young and fast He's the chosen one ♪ 48 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,080 ♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪ 49 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,660 ♪ He's the American dragon ♪ 50 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,420 ♪ He's gonna stop his enemies with his dragon power ♪ 51 00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:55,420 ♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail, burnin' dragon fire ♪ 52 00:02:55,590 --> 00:02:56,960 ♪ A real live wire ♪ 53 00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:59,260 ♪ American dragon ♪ 54 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,430 ♪ American dragon ♪ 55 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,230 ♪ He's the American dragon ♪ 56 00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:13,860 ♪ His skills are gettin' faster with Grandpa, the master ♪ 57 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:17,530 ♪ It's destiny, what's up, G? It's showtime, baby, for the legacy ♪ 58 00:03:17,690 --> 00:03:19,280 ♪ American dragon ♪ 59 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,110 ♪ I'm a dragon, I'm not braggin' It's my destiny ♪ 60 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,330 ♪ I'm the magical protector from the NYC ♪ 61 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,370 Ya heard? 62 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:30,000 ♪ American dragon ♪ 63 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,290 Yeow! 64 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,670 (GONG SOUNDING) 65 00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:38,460 I've been out-skated, out-rapped, out-classed. 66 00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:40,590 Stick a fork in me. I'm done. 67 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,510 Yeow! Ah! 68 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,390 Figure of speech. 69 00:03:44,550 --> 00:03:46,100 Uh... (CHUCKLES) My bad. 70 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,470 Yo, we nominating school officers today. 71 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:51,940 So far, it looks like the usual gang of jocks and jerks. 72 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,730 Who cares about elections? Who cares about anything? 73 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,690 Oh, boy, don't tell me you still trippin' off this morning. 74 00:03:57,860 --> 00:04:00,690 So what if Nigel beat you at all the stuff you're into. 75 00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:03,610 -Just beat him at something he's into. -Such as? 76 00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:05,990 Well, from what I saw at the snack bar a minute ago... 77 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,990 -(WHISPERS) Nigel likes bagels. -So? 78 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,830 So bust out a giant bagel the size of a tractor tire. 79 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,960 You start munching, like... (CHOMPING) 80 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,790 And he'll be looking at it, all salivating. 81 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,000 (CLEARS THROAT) "May I have a bite, old chap?" 82 00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:22,340 And you'll be like, "No way, dude. Get your own giant bagel." 83 00:04:22,510 --> 00:04:24,800 But he can't 'cause you had it made special! 84 00:04:24,970 --> 00:04:26,600 -Boo-yah! -(GROANS) 85 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,390 Jakey, get over yourself, okay? 86 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,850 We got bigger fish to fry, like the future of our school. 87 00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:35,150 For the last time, Trix, nobody cares about these dumb elect... 88 00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:36,520 NIGEL: I'm quite new at Fillmore, 89 00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:38,320 but I'd be honored to serve as your president. 90 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,110 That is, if you'll have me. 91 00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:46,450 You know what, guys? I'm suddenly feeling politically active. 92 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:48,030 Excuse me. Pardon me. 93 00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,490 (FEEDBACK OVER MIC) Hey, yo, what's up? 94 00:04:50,660 --> 00:04:53,040 I'm Jake Long, and I'm running for president. 95 00:04:55,870 --> 00:04:58,750 Uh, does this mean we're tabling the bagel idea? 96 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,010 JAKE: I'm telling you, Fu, I don't have time to clean out the shop. 97 00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:04,590 I've gotta meet Trixie and Spud to plan my campaign. 98 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,680 Besides, since when does Gramps even care how this place looks? 99 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:10,140 Since Boomgarden's opened across the street. 100 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,180 Gramps says if we want to stay in business, 101 00:05:12,350 --> 00:05:13,770 the shop needs a facelift. 102 00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:16,440 All right. Chupacabra bile? 103 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,440 (SNIFFS) Oh, yuck! 104 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,770 This stuff expired during the Shang dynasty. 105 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,030 Ooh, lose it. 106 00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,320 Oh, that's a keeper. 107 00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:27,570 The Galiavera or Helmet of Truth. 108 00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:30,080 -What's it do? -Well, aside from protecting your noggin 109 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,750 in contact sports, the helmet lets you hear people's truest thoughts. 110 00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:37,750 Used to belong to an ogre named Maximinus. Gladiator in ancient Rome. 111 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,170 Old Maxi used it to anticipate his opponent's moves, 112 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,670 making him unbeatable. 113 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,090 Pretty soon he was picking fights outside the arena. 114 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:45,590 Sacked about half the Roman Empire 115 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,760 till the dragon council confiscated his helmet. 116 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:48,930 We've had it ever since. 117 00:05:49,090 --> 00:05:51,140 So this thing reads minds? 118 00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:53,600 Kid, I wouldn't do that... 119 00:05:53,810 --> 00:05:55,810 What's up, fellas? Nice helmet. 120 00:05:57,270 --> 00:06:00,610 Typical Jake... We're out campaigning, he's playing dress up with the dog. 121 00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:01,860 Yo, I heard that. 122 00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:03,530 -Heard what? -What you didn't say. 123 00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:04,690 Let me try Spud. 124 00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:07,990 (THINKING) Inhale. Exhale. 125 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,070 Inhale again, exhale again. 126 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,240 Eyes starting to dry out. 127 00:06:13,410 --> 00:06:15,910 Blinking. Time to blink. 128 00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:21,790 Jake for president? 129 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:22,960 That's right. 130 00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:24,920 Jake's gonna be the next president of Fillmore. 131 00:06:25,090 --> 00:06:27,970 SPUD: All he's gotta do is win a little popularity contest 132 00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,550 against the most popular guy in school. 133 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,100 What? What did I say? I didn't say anything. 134 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,430 Such competition is unwise, young dragon. 135 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,850 He who thinks only of defeating his enemy defeats himself. 136 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:41,440 Oh, yeah? What about your enemy? 137 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:44,400 Hiya, friends. Chick Boomgarden from Boomgarden Electronics. 138 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,070 Are you tired of slow repairs? 139 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,280 I'm Slow Shi. 140 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,490 I'll fix your TV just as soon as... 141 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,660 I feel like it. Ha! 142 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:55,120 At Boomgarden's, we fix your gadgets the same day. 143 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,750 And while you wait, enjoy fresh bass from our fish market, 144 00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:59,160 indoor lawn bowling, 145 00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,040 and Shetland pony rides for the little squirts. 146 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:03,170 Now, giddyap! By the time you're finished... 147 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,590 Boom, you're finished. So come on to Boomgarden's. 148 00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,670 ALL: We fix it fast! 149 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:11,090 (SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 150 00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:12,430 (YELLS) 151 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:19,350 So I'm thinking, you need a platform, Jakey. 152 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,730 -Platform? -Yeah, ideas on how to improve the school. 153 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,480 Take my textbook, for instance. 154 00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:26,570 This bad mama jama weighs more than I do. 155 00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:29,030 So what if we put all this stuff online? 156 00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:31,700 Save a few trees, you know, save a few spines. 157 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:33,370 STUDENT: Oh, my back. 158 00:07:33,530 --> 00:07:36,370 See? Ideas, okay? Ideas. 159 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,910 Oh, oh, I got one. 160 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,040 I say we change our school fight song. 161 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:43,540 I always feel funny singing, "Hail the conquering Spartans," 162 00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:45,670 when our goalie just scored on himself. 163 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,550 It's time for a little honesty. 164 00:07:47,710 --> 00:07:50,380 ♪ Fillmore's team is noble ♪ 165 00:07:50,550 --> 00:07:53,180 ♪ A valiant brotherhood ♪ 166 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,850 ♪ But let's just get out there ♪ 167 00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:59,180 ♪ We don't play sports so good ♪ 168 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,310 What's that sound? 169 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,270 Just a basic two-chord progression. 170 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,810 -You like? You likey? -I mean that! 171 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:07,400 (MARCHING BAND MUSIC) 172 00:08:19,870 --> 00:08:21,210 You gotta be kidding me. 173 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,620 You think you can get votes by giving out free stuff? 174 00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:28,130 (SHOUTING AND SCREAMING) 175 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,840 -Free stuff? -Awesome! 176 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,720 (ALL CHEERING) 177 00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:34,890 NIGEL: Come on, voters. Plenty for everyone. 178 00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:39,810 Man, Nigel schooled us today. 179 00:08:40,430 --> 00:08:41,680 Don't worry, bro. 180 00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:44,560 He may have won the battle, but you'll win the war. 181 00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:47,150 Hey, is that a Nigel tracksuit? 182 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:48,940 Yeah. Uh, well... 183 00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:51,280 -It was free. -Off! 184 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,450 And the shirt. 185 00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,200 And the girdle. 186 00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:04,290 We're taking this stuff back right now, little mister. 187 00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,080 Jakey, just forget that boy. 188 00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:07,540 Why you getting so jelly? 189 00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:09,750 Hello! You got magical powers. 190 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,590 That's something Nigel Thrall will never have. 191 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,260 Hmm. 192 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,300 JAKE: Yeah, well, here we are. 193 00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:18,390 Nigel Thrall's campaign headquarters. 194 00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,520 He won't mind if I let myself in. 195 00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:25,940 Huh? 196 00:09:32,690 --> 00:09:35,700 -Uh, Jake, what is... -Stay back. 197 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,530 Dragon up! 198 00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,040 Ha! 199 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,710 (GRUNTS) 200 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,170 (BOTH GRUNTING) 201 00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:54,510 (PANTING) 202 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,640 Evening, all. 203 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,140 You're a wizard? 204 00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:07,270 You've been using magic to buy the election. 205 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,980 I prefer sorcerer, 206 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,980 and unless it's the dry climate, 207 00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:13,650 you had a nasty case of scales a minute ago. 208 00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:16,110 -Well... -As for buying the election, 209 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,650 I've done no such thing. 210 00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,780 I only use magic to speed things up a bit. 211 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:21,620 Sounds like somebody I know. 212 00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:23,540 So what are you doing here? 213 00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:26,290 Are you kidding? We've got flying horses at Belmont, 214 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:27,710 singing cats on Broadway. 215 00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:31,080 New York's a magical town, the perfect place to complete my training. 216 00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,670 Training? You mean you're just an apprentice? 217 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,840 Also sounds like somebody I know. 218 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,130 Trix, not helping. 219 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,680 My training is a formality. 220 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,390 Yo, I don't know what passes for magic in frou-frou land, 221 00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:44,810 but here, you gotta do more than float a few buttons to impress. 222 00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:46,890 Careful, Long. That sounds like a challenge. 223 00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:48,390 Maybe it is. 224 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,190 Hmm. No-spells-barred election. 225 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,980 May the best magic win. 226 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,530 BOY: All right, two candidates, hold still. 227 00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:00,820 -And cheese. -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 228 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,830 Actually, I welcome the pressure of public office. 229 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,420 I quite enjoy the hot seat. 230 00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:13,380 Then you'll love this. 231 00:11:19,050 --> 00:11:21,800 Ahhh! Oh, my buns! Hot cross buns! 232 00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:23,510 One a-penny, two a-penny, ahhh! 233 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:24,680 JAKE: Ha! 234 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,220 Tempest in a jar, spread the rumor far. 235 00:11:27,390 --> 00:11:30,060 Jake Long doesn't bathe. 236 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,360 I... Uh, I think I'm gonna vote for Long. 237 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,690 NIGEL: Jake Long doesn't bathe. 238 00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:40,900 Uh... Then again, I heard he... 239 00:11:41,070 --> 00:11:43,070 Ugh. Doesn't bathe? I heard that, too. 240 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,490 See that green junk in his hair? 241 00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:46,660 Fungus. 242 00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:48,870 ALL: Ew! 243 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,250 Poll results are in. 244 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,420 Now, if the election was held today, 245 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:56,380 most of the students would be confused 'cause it's not election day. 246 00:11:56,550 --> 00:12:00,840 But 80% say they'd rather have root beer with Nigel. 247 00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:02,470 For the last time, boy, 248 00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:05,800 you gotta stop Nigel fixating and start legislating. 249 00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:08,220 Just take a stand on something you care about. 250 00:12:08,390 --> 00:12:09,930 It's not about that, Trix. 251 00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,810 It's about beating Nigel. 252 00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:14,900 To do that, I gotta figure out what the voters care about. 253 00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:18,900 If I can only find out what's really going on in their minds. 254 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,200 Come to Lao Shi's repair-adise. 255 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,530 I'll work on your radio 256 00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:28,160 while massage therapist work on your deep tissue 257 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,250 at our relaxation station. 258 00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:33,920 And remember, if I can't beat Boomgarden's advertised price, 259 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,380 I'll throw in this delightful Life's a Beach beverage coo-zy. 260 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:40,090 Cut! Sheesh. Would it kill you to smile? 261 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,380 You look like a mug shot. 262 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:42,930 JAKE: Ah, here it is. 263 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,140 So, what do you think? 264 00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:47,430 You tell me. 265 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,100 (THINKING) I think this thing's bad news. 266 00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:50,640 (THINKING) No matter where you go, 267 00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:55,900 if you try to hide, the moon will always find you. 268 00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:58,360 Come on, Jake. You don't think anyone's gonna notice 269 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,030 that you got a 2,000-year-old hunk of metal on your head? 270 00:13:01,190 --> 00:13:03,070 I mean, how you gonna hide that? 271 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:09,410 As you can see, no one's got more Spartan spirit than Jake Long. 272 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,080 I dig you, Fillmore Middle School, 273 00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:12,910 and I wanna hear what's on your mind. 274 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,920 (VOICES EXPRESSING BOREDOM) 275 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,750 Oh! Migraine! 276 00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:22,050 So how about one at a time? 277 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,340 Let's talk... 278 00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:26,090 (THINKING) Whatever. I'm just a vote to you. 279 00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:28,510 'Cause to me, you're more than just a vote. 280 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,260 (THINKING) What can you do for me? 281 00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:32,270 I bet you're wondering what I can do for you. 282 00:13:32,430 --> 00:13:33,680 Uh, yeah. 283 00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:35,890 Tell me, what do you want more than anything? 284 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:38,690 I guess I'd say a quality education. 285 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,770 (THINKING) Cutie patootie's phone number. 286 00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:46,110 I think my cutie patootie campaign manager 287 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:49,320 can explain my platform over smoothies. 288 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,160 Give her a call, say, 7:00-ish? 289 00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:54,040 I... Uh... 290 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,000 (THINKING) I'm definitely voting for this guy. 291 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,880 (THINKING) Ugh. I hate trigonometry. 292 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,340 (THINKING) Lasagna rollups again? 293 00:14:07,510 --> 00:14:09,340 Ugh. I'm gonna hurl. 294 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,970 (THINKING) Uh... Please... 295 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:15,680 What does Coach Sackerson know about Shakespeare? 296 00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:19,230 Elect Jake Long, and I'll ban trigonometry... 297 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,400 Whoo-hoo! 298 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,820 -Outlaw lasagna rollups. -Yeah! 299 00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:25,070 And make sure the only thing this man teaches 300 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,740 is zone defense! 301 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,070 (GIGGLES) Yay! 302 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,780 (CHANTING) Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! 303 00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:32,870 -(GROANS) -NIGEL: What's this thing? 304 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,450 Hey, hey, put me down. 305 00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:35,870 Interesting prop, Long. 306 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,540 It seems you're the man of the hour. 307 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,960 What's your secret? 308 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,960 Let's just say my listening tour really paid off. 309 00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:45,380 Well, enjoy your popularity while it lasts, 310 00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:46,550 'cause it won't. 311 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,930 I've got some magic that will blow your doors off. 312 00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:51,510 (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah? Like wh... 313 00:14:52,050 --> 00:14:53,180 Nigel? 314 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,980 I'm telling you, Nigel's sweating me. 315 00:14:58,140 --> 00:15:00,980 48 hours till E-day, big speeches tomorrow. 316 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,810 I got this thing in the bag. 317 00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:06,650 Uh, Jake, is your gramps still redecorating? 318 00:15:06,820 --> 00:15:07,990 Huh? 319 00:15:08,150 --> 00:15:09,280 Gramps' shop! 320 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,530 Ugh! 321 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,580 Gramps and I were gone a half hour, tops. 322 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,950 When we came back, the place looked like a twister hit it. 323 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,210 Chick Boomgarden will pay for this! 324 00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:23,340 (YELLING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 325 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,970 Man, I've seen this kind of destruction before. 326 00:15:28,130 --> 00:15:29,800 Oof! But never from a human. 327 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,050 Something tells me Chick didn't do this. 328 00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:34,760 NIGEL: I've got some magic that will blow your doors off. 329 00:15:34,930 --> 00:15:36,720 But I think I know who did. 330 00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:41,020 Well, I knew you were bold, 331 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,020 but I didn't know how bold. 332 00:15:43,190 --> 00:15:44,360 You mean the tux? 333 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,570 I don't try to outclass you, Long, but you make it so easy. 334 00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:49,740 I mean trashing my grandpa's shop. 335 00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,070 What are you on about? 336 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,450 I had no idea you had a grandfather, much less one with a shop. 337 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,620 Don't lie to me. 338 00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:58,160 You said you'd blow my doors off, remember? 339 00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,630 (CLEARS THROAT) And now, without further delay, 340 00:16:03,790 --> 00:16:07,000 here are your candidates for Student Body President! 341 00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:09,210 Nigel Thrall and... 342 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:10,420 Jake Long. 343 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:13,050 (COUGHING) 344 00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:15,220 Uh... (FEEDBACK OVER MIC) Ladies and gentlemen, 345 00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:16,930 your candidates! 346 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,100 Where's Jake? 347 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,140 Well... He said something about 348 00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:24,690 making that doofus-y Nigel pay for his doofus-itiness. 349 00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:25,980 You know, the usual. 350 00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,190 Aw, man, you serious? 351 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,690 Okay, we gotta stall. 352 00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:32,490 Hey, hey, hey, Fillmore! 353 00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:33,860 What's up, people? 354 00:16:34,030 --> 00:16:35,490 (SILENCE) 355 00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:40,290 Okay, so let's talk issues, stuff that affects us all. 356 00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:42,710 Starting with these cinder blocks they're calling textbooks. 357 00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:46,040 Yeah. Do we really need 2,000 pages on marine biology? 358 00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:48,500 There's only three things to know about fish. 359 00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:51,720 Stay away from piranha, never put tartar sauce on sushi. 360 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,300 And if you gotta treat a jellyfish sting with natural acids, 361 00:16:55,470 --> 00:16:57,050 aim carefully. 362 00:16:57,220 --> 00:17:00,640 The Helmet of Truth will expose you once and for all. 363 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:04,690 Now, did you wreck my grandpa's shop? 364 00:17:04,850 --> 00:17:06,690 (THINKING) I honestly did not. 365 00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,690 But if you didn't, then who... 366 00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:11,110 -(CRASHES) -Huh? 367 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,990 (ROARS) 368 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:22,750 Maximinus. 369 00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:24,460 (ROARING) 370 00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:26,000 I think the ogre likes your helmet. 371 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,630 Get inside. I'll take care of him. 372 00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:29,460 Dragon up! 373 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,170 (JAKE SCREAMS) 374 00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:32,510 (GRUNTS) 375 00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:34,220 And dragon down. 376 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,590 Nice try, Long. Now it's my turn. 377 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,180 Fetch a pen and paper. No shame in taking notes. 378 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:43,680 Steak and kidney pie, make this ogre fly. 379 00:17:45,810 --> 00:17:48,400 Steak... Uh... 380 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:49,770 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 381 00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:52,650 (LAUGHS) 382 00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:53,990 Yo, I'm taking notes. 383 00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:56,030 Is wipeout one word or two? 384 00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:58,160 -Ahhh. -Ahhh. 385 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,580 (BOTH SCREAM) 386 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:02,790 (BOTH GRUNTING) 387 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,210 -Gramps, we got problems. -(THUDS) 388 00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,790 And what's up with our school dances? 389 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,670 No disrespect, Principal Rotwood, 390 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,710 but you should not be picking the music. Uh-uh. 391 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,300 I don't know about y'all, but it is impossible to get my swerve on 392 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:16,760 to "Roll Out the Barrel." 393 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,800 GRANDPA: Do you know what you've done, Jake? 394 00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:21,970 Maximinus has a strong psychic connection with that helmet. 395 00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:25,270 You awakened him, alerting him to its location. 396 00:18:25,430 --> 00:18:27,770 JAKE: Okay, now, it's making sense. 397 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,860 I tried the helmet at your shop, so he went there first. 398 00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:32,900 He must have trashed the place looking for it. 399 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,110 -What? -When I used it here at school, 400 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,700 Maxi showed up to snatch it. 401 00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:39,070 Look, kid, me and Gramps will never get there in time. 402 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,070 If you wanna make it past third period, 403 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,490 you gotta join forces with that sorcerer and double-team the big fella. 404 00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:45,950 And whatever you do... 405 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,120 (GRUNTS) 406 00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:48,870 Don't let Maximinus get the helmet! 407 00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:56,420 (THINKING) Can he hear me? 408 00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:59,050 Oh, man, he can hear me. 409 00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:00,510 I gotta knock that helmet off. 410 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,930 (THINKING) Maybe this branch. 411 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,730 NIGEL: (THINKING) If I can just remember that shrinking spell. 412 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,690 (STRAINING) 413 00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:16,150 Why is he still fighting? 414 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,490 He's got his helmet. 415 00:19:17,650 --> 00:19:19,070 He's a gladiator, Long. 416 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,450 They're sticklers for the whole fight to the death thing. 417 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,450 JAKE: He's taking us to the roof. 418 00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:26,410 ♪ We know you're gonna beat us ♪ 419 00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:28,080 ♪ We think that's pretty clear ♪ 420 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,120 ♪ But please don't run the score up ♪ 421 00:19:30,290 --> 00:19:34,750 ♪ Our families are here ♪ 422 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,510 (SINGS HIGHER OCTAVE) 423 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,840 (GRUNTING) 424 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,220 -Let's think, Long. How can we... -Why whisper? 425 00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:47,020 Trust me, ugly's picking up every single thought. 426 00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:48,730 Wait, that's it. 427 00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:49,890 The fire alarm. 428 00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:51,190 Hmm? 429 00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:54,690 Nigel, the alarm. Can you move it? 430 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,530 Uh, I think so. 431 00:19:56,690 --> 00:20:00,030 Go ahead. Alert school. 432 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,490 Bell, book, and candle... Pull down the handle. 433 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:06,490 Ha! Students won't save you. 434 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:08,290 Bell, book and candle... 435 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:10,330 Pull down the handle. 436 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,540 (ALARM RINGING) 437 00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:17,340 Get ready for a sonic boom of teen angst. 438 00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:19,420 Huh? 439 00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:22,890 (ALL VOICES AT ONCE) 440 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,310 So many voices. 441 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,100 Oh! Quiet! 442 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,320 Ahhh! 443 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:38,860 (SCREAMS) 444 00:20:45,530 --> 00:20:46,910 (CONTINUES SCREAMING) 445 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,540 (THUDS) 446 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,540 So, I just want to say 447 00:20:57,710 --> 00:21:00,340 I think I got a little carried away with our competition. 448 00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:03,300 If you win, I'll support you. 449 00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:04,680 Likewise, mate. 450 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:09,890 Hang on. You're not bucking for a job as my vice president, are you, Long? 451 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,600 -Now, that's just sad. -What? 452 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:12,940 In your dreams. 453 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:14,190 I'm in it to win it. 454 00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:15,980 -Fine. -Fine. 455 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,780 Aha! The election results have been tallied and... 456 00:21:19,940 --> 00:21:21,490 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 457 00:21:21,650 --> 00:21:24,990 For the first time in Fillmore history, it appears we have a tie. 458 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:30,080 Beginning this month, your classroom presidents will be... 459 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,290 Trixie Carter and Arthur Spudinski. 460 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,080 Two write-in candidates. 461 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:36,380 -Huh? What? -Whoa! 462 00:21:36,540 --> 00:21:37,960 (CROWD CHEERS) 463 00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:41,090 GRANDPA: Trixie and Spud? But how? 464 00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,590 I guess they won because they had real ideas. 465 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,090 All Nigel and I ever did was tear each other down. 466 00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:50,310 Ah, yes. I, too, have learned that grudges are a waste of time. 467 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,100 Ah, that's right, young dragon. 468 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:57,980 I've decided to end my childish feud with Boomgarden's Electronics... 469 00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:01,150 Starting tomorrow. 470 00:22:05,030 --> 00:22:06,450 ANNOUNCER: Who is Lao Shi? 471 00:22:06,610 --> 00:22:08,450 Let's start with what we know. 472 00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:11,160 Fact: He has serious anger management issues. 473 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,740 (SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 474 00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:14,870 Fact: He is a menace on the road. 475 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,290 (SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 476 00:22:17,460 --> 00:22:20,250 Fact: In this footage recorded by a concerned citizen, 477 00:22:20,420 --> 00:22:23,460 he can clearly be seen talking to a dog. 478 00:22:24,630 --> 00:22:28,180 Lao Shi... Would you trust this man with your appliances? 479 00:22:29,430 --> 00:22:31,970 Paid for by friends of Chick Boomgarden.