1 00:00:04,790 --> 00:00:05,830 (JAKE GROANS) 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,420 Easy there, player. 3 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:08,670 It's all over now. 4 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:09,840 Hey, what's with Chuckles? 5 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,970 You ever have one of those days where nothing goes right? 6 00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,970 -(JAKE GROANS) -That bad, huh? 7 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,970 Let's just say if Jake's day was a wacky Japanese game show, 8 00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:21,350 it would probably look something like this. 9 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,810 JAPANESE GAME SHOW HOST: Day of Failure! 10 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,940 (SUSTAINED SCREAM) 11 00:00:26,770 --> 00:00:29,360 Pop quiz? But I didn't even read the chapter. 12 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,440 Ooh! Pop quiz! 13 00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:33,950 Watch as report card grade is chopped like sashimi. 14 00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:36,450 (LAUGHS) Is cause for unhappiness, no? 15 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,240 Hey, cool. They put in a chili bar. 16 00:00:39,410 --> 00:00:41,500 Whoa, Jake. Uh... That's the five-alarmer. 17 00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:44,920 You gotta prep your tongue with some two-alarmer first, ding-ding! 18 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:46,630 Who's the fire-breather here, Spud? 19 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,300 Uh? (SPITS) 20 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,930 Chili Spit? Pretty girl? Oh, no! 21 00:00:55,090 --> 00:00:57,010 Ah. (LAUGHS) 22 00:00:57,340 --> 00:00:58,970 JAKE: A skateboarding contest? 23 00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,310 Now this is something I can't lose. 24 00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:02,980 BRAD: Eyes on the Bradster! 25 00:01:03,140 --> 00:01:05,190 Attention, over-padded dorklings. 26 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:09,820 The Bradster hereby proclamates that he's gonna be skatin' and winnin' 27 00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:13,400 the Five Boroughs Skate Jam-bo-ree! (CHEERS) 28 00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:17,070 Boy, you don't know a nose-grind from a pork rind! 29 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,240 Yeah. That's why my dad hired somebody who does, 30 00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:24,160 my personal trainer, pro boarder, Tommy King! 31 00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:26,330 (CROWD GASPS) 32 00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:30,090 (LAUGHS) What's up, everybody? 33 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,710 Unfair skateboarding help! It is not the bomb! 34 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:37,220 And... so on and so forth. You get the idea. 35 00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:40,050 The only good thing about this day is that it's over. 36 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,470 Jake! Urgent assignment! You must go immediately! 37 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,980 (GROANS) Aw, man! 38 00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:48,770 Grandpa surprise! (LAUGHS) Start your theme song now! 39 00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:50,400 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 40 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,320 ♪ He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪ 41 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,570 ♪ He's young and fast He's the chosen one ♪ 42 00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:59,740 ♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪ 43 00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:02,740 ♪ He's the American Dragon ♪ 44 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,960 ♪ He's gonna stop his enemies with his dragon power ♪ 45 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,960 ♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail, burnin' dragon fire ♪ 46 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,000 ♪ A real live wire ♪ 47 00:02:12,170 --> 00:02:13,880 ♪ American Dragon ♪ 48 00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:17,340 ♪ American Dragon ♪ 49 00:02:21,510 --> 00:02:23,760 ♪ He's the American Dragon ♪ 50 00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:26,850 ♪ His skills are gettin' faster ♪ 51 00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:28,270 ♪ With Grandpa, the master ♪ 52 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,310 ♪ His destiny, what's up, G? ♪ 53 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,980 ♪ It's showtime, baby, for the legacy ♪ 54 00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:33,400 ♪ American Dragon ♪ 55 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,530 ♪ I'm a dragon, I'm not braggin' It's my destiny ♪ 56 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,740 ♪ I'm the magical protector of the NYC ♪ 57 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:40,910 Ya heard? 58 00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:44,330 ♪ American Dragon ♪ 59 00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:45,830 Yeow! 60 00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:53,960 Urgent assignment? Come on, G. Hasn't my day been bad enough? 61 00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:57,130 Wah-wah, whiney bim-booey-hoo-hoo! 62 00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,880 You think you're the only one with problems? Get over yourself. 63 00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:03,640 Uh... (CHUCKLES) Sorry. 64 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:04,970 I get moody when I'm hungry. 65 00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:06,640 See, the vet put me on a new diet today. 66 00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:08,270 Says I gotta take better care of myself. 67 00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:09,940 Can you believe that garbage? (CHUCKLES) 68 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,900 Anyway, I'm thinking maybe I just get this day out of the way 69 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,900 -and then do your thing tomorrow, cool? -(EXCLAIMS IN CHINESE) 70 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,280 Not cool. Grandpa does not use the word urgent unless he means it! 71 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:23,820 Inside this box is the latest creation of the N.E.R.D. 72 00:03:23,990 --> 00:03:24,990 The Nerd? 73 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:26,700 FU: New Elfin Research and Development. 74 00:03:26,870 --> 00:03:29,870 Bunch of tech-dweeb elves workin' on inventing new magical objects. 75 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,630 Talk about puttin' the "eek" in geek. (LAUGHING) 76 00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:38,210 Oh, that's just the diet talking. They're good kids. 77 00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:41,380 Unfortunately, some of their inventions are so powerful 78 00:03:41,550 --> 00:03:44,260 they must be destroyed rather than fall into the wrong hands. 79 00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:46,310 Why can't they just destroy it themselves? 80 00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:49,730 Because they're too busy trying to solve the equation of why they never get dates. 81 00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:51,560 (LAUGHING) 82 00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,520 I'm sayin' they're nerds! (LAUGHS) 83 00:03:54,940 --> 00:03:56,480 -GRANDPA: Fu Dog! -(GASPS) 84 00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,480 Two words, I'm hungry! 85 00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:01,740 It requires powerful magic to destroy powerful magic. 86 00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:04,870 You must deliver this box to the Witches of Woodstock. 87 00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:08,160 They alone can brew a potion strong enough for the job. 88 00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,000 Yeah, can they brew a vegetable juice 89 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,460 that doesn't taste like something an ogre yakked up? 90 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,290 (SPITS) 91 00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:16,590 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 92 00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:19,000 Ay-ya. And take Fu Dog with you. 93 00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:22,930 Oh, perfect. Now I gotta go on a mission with Grouchy Grouchowski. 94 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:25,340 Moo-dy today, am I right? 95 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,760 FU: Let's see here. I think we need to head west. 96 00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,520 Wait, am I holding this thing upside down? 97 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:31,680 (SPLUTTERS) 98 00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:33,940 Uh, ow... What... Hello... 99 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,850 You're not brightening my day here, Fu. 100 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:39,480 Hey, I don't have every secret island on the Hudson memorized, all right? 101 00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:42,070 Gotta figure out which one that the Witches of Woodstock live on... 102 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,740 -There it is down there! -Whoa! 103 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,320 FU: Water landing! 104 00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,120 Witches... Great. 105 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:49,830 The last thing I need on a day like this is 106 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:53,250 is to spend time with some ugly, scraggly-haired hippie... 107 00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:55,920 Hello, ladies. 108 00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:58,380 Jake Long, meet The Witches of Woodstock, 109 00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:00,300 Monica, Annika and Bubonica. 110 00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:02,760 Oh, yeah. I love his hair. 111 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,300 And he's so cute. 112 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,970 -Hey, I saw him first. -I call dibs. 113 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,720 -It's too late for dibs. -I'll hex you good! 114 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:11,470 Uh, no need to fight, ladies. 115 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,060 (GASPS) He's so good with people! 116 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,230 Let's hear it for Jake! 117 00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:16,730 ALL: Hooray! 118 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:17,900 Ahhh! 119 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,360 The destruction potion is almost ready. 120 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:23,650 You don't mind waiting? 121 00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,400 Nah. I'm kinda diggin' it out here. 122 00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:27,240 You know, the beauty of nature... 123 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:31,620 Really? I think being out here alone gets so scary! 124 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,000 -(SCREAMS) Boo! -(SHRIEKS) 125 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,160 -See? -Yeah. 126 00:05:34,330 --> 00:05:36,960 Sometimes I wish we had someone to check up on us. 127 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,210 Someone strong and brave to protect us from danger. 128 00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:43,300 Maybe this isn't such a bad day after all. 129 00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:44,630 (THANDERA ROARS) 130 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,180 ANNIKA: (GASP) Mountain goblins! 131 00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:48,300 You have something we want, boy. 132 00:05:48,470 --> 00:05:50,350 Give us the box and there will be no trouble. 133 00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:53,100 Uh... Looks like word got out about the elves' little project. 134 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,100 -How's that potion coming? -Another minute? 135 00:05:55,270 --> 00:05:57,100 Good. Dragon up! 136 00:05:57,270 --> 00:05:58,770 -Get the box! -(GOBLINS YELL) 137 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:02,520 Y'all ever play bowling for goblins? It's easy. 138 00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:04,570 -First you gather your pin-heads... -(SCREAMS) 139 00:06:06,030 --> 00:06:07,570 (GRUNTING) 140 00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:09,280 And then you strike. 141 00:06:10,910 --> 00:06:11,910 Now! 142 00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:14,950 What the... Since when do goblins fly? 143 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,040 Whoa! 144 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,620 THANDERA: The box is ours! 145 00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:20,920 (BOTH STRAINING) 146 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,300 -Here, here! -Don't worry Jake! We'll get them! 147 00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:26,010 He has reinforcements. Retreat! 148 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,510 What? I didn't even know I had reinforcements. 149 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,680 ANNIKA: You don't. 150 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:34,260 Ah, haven't you ever heard an audio illusion spell before? 151 00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:35,680 CROWD: Yeah, where have you been? 152 00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:38,350 Oh, hex. There goes the last of our yeti fur. 153 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:39,980 We can't brew more potion without it, 154 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,980 and we won't get another shipment until next week! 155 00:06:42,150 --> 00:06:44,230 A week? Then what am I supposed to do with this? 156 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,780 You're gonna have to hold onto it. 157 00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:48,740 I mean, you're so good at protecting things, anyway. 158 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,570 (GIGGLES) 159 00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:54,330 Let's go, kid. Ugh, Witches... 160 00:06:56,910 --> 00:06:59,790 (MOAN) Worst day ever... 161 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,840 And I can't believe I have to spend my whole week guarding this... 162 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,380 What's in here, anyway? 163 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,460 Uh, kid... Maybe it's just the hunger, 164 00:07:06,630 --> 00:07:08,970 but my gut's got a bad feeling about this. Whoa. 165 00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:12,970 It looks like some kind of... video game controller? 166 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,850 Cheese on a biscuit, those elves really are nerds. 167 00:07:16,010 --> 00:07:17,310 What's all this writing on the back? 168 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:20,640 Well, I haven't read elf since I dated one back in the 1800's 169 00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:23,440 but... Hmmm. In the title here, I can pick out the words, 170 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,190 "Cheat, Code, Life," and this sequence here is labeled, 171 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:27,440 "Replay," for some reason. 172 00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:29,570 That's what my day needs, a replay. 173 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,820 Or at least a do-over of that goblin fight. 174 00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:33,530 Uh, Jake? You might not wanna... 175 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:37,080 I mean, since when do goblins sprout wings and fl... 176 00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:39,620 (SURPRISED YELL) 177 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:41,830 (GASP) Mountain goblins! 178 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,960 You have something we want, boy. 179 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,880 Give us the box and there will be no trouble. 180 00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:48,380 Okay, I am having some serious Deja Fu here. 181 00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:50,300 No. We're having a replay. 182 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,180 This thing really is a controller... for real life! 183 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,220 That stuff on the back is all cheat codes. 184 00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:56,640 Yeah, I don't speak geek. 185 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,180 Cheat codes are what you punch in to get an edge in the game... 186 00:07:59,350 --> 00:08:01,350 boost your strength, get special weapons... 187 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,230 I just hit the code for replay, and here we are! 188 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,730 I wonder what else they got here. 189 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,650 -Get the box! -(GOBLINS YELL) 190 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,360 Uh, you might wanna save play time for later, kid. 191 00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:11,990 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 192 00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:14,200 Game on. Dragon up! 193 00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:16,830 Strength boost. 194 00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:19,160 I am definitely gonna have to write this one down. 195 00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:21,250 (ALL SHOUTING) 196 00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:23,710 -(GRUNTING) -(ALL CHEERING) 197 00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:25,580 Now! 198 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,250 Oh, no. Not this time. 199 00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,090 Whoa! 200 00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:35,220 Check the serious air! Whoa! 201 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,430 Ah! I'm on super speed here. 202 00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,100 (GRUNTS) 203 00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:41,640 Uklak's Beard. He knows the codes! 204 00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:44,850 We'll find another way to get the controller. Retreat! 205 00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:47,940 Yo, the game's still going! 206 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,690 And the potion's ready, too. 207 00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,400 Yay, hugs! 208 00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:54,860 Aw, man! I barely even got to use this thing. 209 00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:57,070 (GOBLIN GROANING) 210 00:08:57,740 --> 00:09:00,410 I'll teach you to frighten my ladies, chump! 211 00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:02,620 (GOBLIN YELLING) 212 00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:03,910 (GRUNTS) 213 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,000 Ooh. Sorry about that. 214 00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,960 Hope you have more of that destruction potion. 215 00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:11,590 Actually, we're out of yeti fur, but don't worry about it. 216 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,800 We'll get more in a week. 217 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,840 I'm sure a big hero man like you can guard it that long. 218 00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:17,470 (MODEST CHUCKLE) Well... 219 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,010 But you better come and see us before then. 220 00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:25,230 Oh, yes, please! We will be so heartbroken if you don't. 221 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,900 You, uh, remember which one's the Replay code? 222 00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:30,230 Whoo-hoo. 223 00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:34,530 We will be so heartbroken if you don't. 224 00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:39,870 Aw, yeah. I think this is turning into a very good day. 225 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,870 Shield, invisibility, boosts for agility, 226 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,080 speed, intelligence, charm... 227 00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:51,380 (LAUGHS) This thing is off the chain. 228 00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,550 No, that thing is off-limits. 229 00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:56,340 We had our fun, now let's lock it up in the vault before its... 230 00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:58,140 Don't you get what we've got here, Fu? 231 00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,140 I never have to have a bad day again! 232 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,970 This is gonna let me cheat code my way to a perfect life. 233 00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:05,350 Oh, no, it ain't. Now hand it over. 234 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,150 Uh... You sure there's nothing you want to cheat? 235 00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:11,400 Like, maybe... your rabbit food diet? 236 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,190 FU'S STOMACH: Listen to him! 237 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,940 Is there a code that'll make this taste like a cheeseburger? 238 00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:23,450 Take... order? 239 00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:26,830 Yeah. We'll have the front side to start, back side for dessert. 240 00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:29,040 (BOTH SIGH) 241 00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:31,210 Ooh, baby. 242 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,840 Oh I'm as... (HICCUPS) stuffed as that Turducken I just ate. 243 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,420 Ready for a... (HICCUPS) replay? 244 00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,010 Take... order? 245 00:10:41,180 --> 00:10:43,430 Nah, we had a late lunch. 246 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,140 Uh, Spudinski, what are you doing? 247 00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:48,850 (SCREAMS) 248 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,690 I'm practicing my never-before-seen 249 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:54,020 one arm 50/50 wiggy wack moon boot blood rush handstand. 250 00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:56,940 I figure, I gotta bring out a primo trick 251 00:10:57,110 --> 00:10:59,070 to beat Brad's Tommy King training. 252 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,700 Tsk... Spud, my man, 253 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:04,240 don't waste another minute of your life on painfully unnecessary wipe-outs. 254 00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:06,410 But, Jake, the crashes give me experience. 255 00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:09,580 And experience is the mother of both skill and reward. 256 00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:10,830 Instead of grounding me, 257 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,290 my dad makes me read motivational business books. 258 00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:17,090 That was from Ron Slam's The Grindstone: Is Your Nose To It? 259 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,590 Psst... Old school. 260 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,590 I say, why suffer a thousand failures 261 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,260 when you can get it right the first time, every time? 262 00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:25,970 You blinged your Kami-Kai Bighand Kung-Fu controller. 263 00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:27,890 And how's this take the place of practice again? 264 00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:31,100 No, it's a magical controller for life. 265 00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:34,060 And I got all the cheat codes, baby. Check this. 266 00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:37,860 Let's see... Boost Agility, add a little High Jump, 267 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,650 and some Reverse Gravity for the hang time. 268 00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:42,070 Hey, yo, Brad! 269 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,910 Check out what a real skater looks like, fool! 270 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,540 You better teach me all that. 271 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,710 Daddy covers overtime? 272 00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:54,040 -Yeah. We'll pay. We'll pay. -Right on. 273 00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:57,710 Guys? 274 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,630 Can I not get a bump-bump for schoolin' the chump-chump? 275 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,800 I don't know, Jake. 276 00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:04,720 I love magical powers as much as the next guy, 277 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,140 but Ron Slam says, 278 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:09,060 "The only treasures worth having are the ones we pay for with sweat." 279 00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:10,980 Speaking of which, I gotta make 280 00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:13,150 another sweat deposit at the bank of success. 281 00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:15,360 Nose to the grindstone! 282 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,610 (THUDS) Ow. My nose. 283 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,480 What is up with you guys? 284 00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:21,990 Didn't your mama ever teach you that cheating is wrong? 285 00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,910 You can't use that thing in competition. It's not fair. 286 00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,910 -What makes you think you can... -(REWINDS) 287 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,790 Didn't your mama teach you that cheating is... 288 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:31,410 Wrong. So true. What was I thinking? 289 00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:33,460 I'll never use this thing again. 290 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,210 Uh, that's... Well, that's... Good? 291 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,500 (WHISTLING) 292 00:12:37,670 --> 00:12:40,010 Looks like it's just you and me, buddy. 293 00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:41,970 Let's go live the easy life. 294 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,260 Another pop quiz? 295 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,300 I hope you read the chapter this time. 296 00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:48,390 Nah. But I'm feeling lucky today. 297 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,180 Boost intelligence. 298 00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:52,430 A plus. Ha! 299 00:12:58,690 --> 00:12:59,940 (SPITS) 300 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,820 Wow... Uh... Thanks! 301 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,320 Hey, I owed you one. 302 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,750 Add some One Punch Knock Out. 303 00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:15,460 Then Boost Strength to taste and simmer with a Protective Shield. 304 00:13:15,790 --> 00:13:17,170 Soup's on! 305 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,760 He's too powerful! 306 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,800 Every warrior has a weakness, 307 00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:29,560 and victory goes to he who won't quit until he finds it. 308 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:32,220 I learned it from a Ron Slam book. 309 00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,770 The guy is a genius! 310 00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:37,730 One more pebble in the rock garden of success! 311 00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:40,520 Ow. 312 00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,410 Whoo! (GRUNTS) 313 00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:49,200 Jakey! How good of you to show up. 314 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,200 -Are you ready to practice? -Naw. Psst, it's cool. 315 00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:55,160 Oh, I've been, uh, practicing on my own. 316 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,040 Whoo! 317 00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:02,050 (GRUNTS) 318 00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:05,010 -See? -Oh, nuh-uh, player. 319 00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:07,890 You are not still using that con-troller! 320 00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:09,550 So what if I am? You think it's fair 321 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,510 that Brad got his dad to hire Tommy King? 322 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,020 Woo-hoo! I own this ramp. 323 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,890 I really do. My dad bought it for me. 324 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,610 What, you wanna be like Brad, now? 325 00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:22,150 Getting everything you want with no hard work? 326 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,190 Ugh. It's not just about the skate contest, Jakey. 327 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,320 It's about getting fat, slow and lazy 328 00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,410 while you let that thing do all the work for you... 329 00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:30,700 Boost Charm. 330 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:34,120 (LAUGHS) Did I tell you how kickin' that new top is? 331 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,460 Ooh girl, you've got it going on. 332 00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:39,210 (LAUGHS) You... You think so? 333 00:14:39,370 --> 00:14:42,250 I so appreciate that. Thank you, Jakey! Ohhh. 334 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:43,880 No prob, babes. 335 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,760 (SCOFFS) Fat, slow and lazy? Pshaw. I don't think so. 336 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:53,680 FU: Whoa. Ah. Kid, punch in the cheat code. 337 00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:55,890 I'd do it but... (BURP) 338 00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:58,890 My eyes are glazed over with coconut milk and lobster grease. 339 00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:00,980 Oh, I love my new diet. 340 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,190 No... (HICCUP) prob. 341 00:15:03,690 --> 00:15:06,280 -Hey! -I've got it, master! 342 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,240 What did I tell you? 343 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,200 Keep trying, and you're bound to find a weakness. 344 00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:14,240 I'll show you who's... (HICCUP) weak... 345 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,700 (BREATHING HEAVILY) Dragon up! 346 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,210 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 347 00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:21,920 (GOBLINS LAUGHING) 348 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,750 Hey! Ooh. Quit it! 349 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,710 When I get that thing back, I am gonna... 350 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,170 What's the matter, kid? You got a million tricks up your sleeve. 351 00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:29,680 I'm a little out of practice, I... 352 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,010 Enough! 353 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,010 There will be time for revenge later. 354 00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:35,510 Leave the piggies to their food coma. 355 00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,560 (GROANS, SIGHS) 356 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:41,060 Aw... 357 00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:43,810 (LOUD, LONG BELCH) 358 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,480 Oh, yeah, that one's been waitin' to come out. 359 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,110 Now, where was I? 360 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,570 Oh, right. Man! 361 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,700 (GRANDPA EXCLAIMS IN CHINESE) 362 00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:59,120 Did I not tell you that magical object was dangerous? 363 00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:00,410 I know, Gramps. 364 00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:03,290 That's why we have to get it out of the hands of those mountain goblins. 365 00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:05,380 It was not their hands I was referring to. 366 00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:06,550 Huh? 367 00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:08,460 Resistance builds the muscle, young dragon. 368 00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:10,590 If you remove every obstacle from life, 369 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,970 you become weak in body and in mind. 370 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,890 Your enemies won because they were willing to do 371 00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:16,310 what you have cheated to avoid, 372 00:16:16,470 --> 00:16:20,020 to fail and fail again until a solution was found. 373 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,770 (STRAINING) 374 00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:24,270 So you want me to fail? 375 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,940 Mission accomplished. 376 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,610 I want you to fail sometimes. 377 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:32,030 For it is only by experiencing failure that we learn to succeed. 378 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,360 Wow. Deep. 379 00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:36,490 Ron Slam... I get a daily email quote. 380 00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,200 Now, to the task at hand. 381 00:16:38,370 --> 00:16:40,500 You say it was mountain goblins who took the controller. 382 00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:44,540 Only one range in this area is not accounted for by giants, 383 00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:46,380 trolls or other mountain dwellers. 384 00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:49,130 It lies here... In Tallman Mountain State Park 385 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,670 on the Hudson River. 386 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,720 You must scour every cave and crevasse in this range 387 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,590 until you find the goblins' lair. 388 00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:01,890 (STRAINING) 389 00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:06,020 (CLATTERING) 390 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,770 Whoa! 391 00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,610 -(SCREAMS) -(BATS SCREECHING) 392 00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:16,870 Huh? 393 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:18,780 Ahhh! 394 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:23,040 Aw, man. This is gonna take forever. 395 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:26,250 There's gotta be some other way to... Wait a minute. 396 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,460 Maybe there is. 397 00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:32,300 Ear of the Dragon. 398 00:17:35,090 --> 00:17:36,840 ADIRONDACK: His handwriting is terrible, 399 00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:39,010 but we've got half the codes deciphered already! 400 00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:40,720 THANDERA: Good. Keep working. 401 00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:43,180 Soon we shall have the ultimate power. 402 00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:44,600 Gotcha. 403 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,150 (CONTROLLER BEEPING) 404 00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:55,740 And then this one gives your whole team throwback jerseys. 405 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,820 Ooh, ooh! Do they have the 1976 Goblintrotters? 406 00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:04,040 Sweet. Meadowlark Demon. 407 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,830 I gave the witch triplets a heads-up. 408 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,580 They're workin' on the destruction potion. 409 00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,250 All we gotta do is get 'em the controller. 410 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:13,010 Then let's do it. You go left, G, I'll go right. 411 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,550 -Dragons! -Goody. 412 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,980 (GOBLINS YELL) 413 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,270 Ahhh! 414 00:18:30,230 --> 00:18:32,400 -(CHEERING) -THANDERA: Stand down, friends. 415 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,740 I want to show these dragons what it's like to fight an unfair battle. 416 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,660 The old one goes down first. 417 00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,450 (STRAINING) 418 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,120 Ahhh! 419 00:18:45,370 --> 00:18:47,460 Ahhh. (GRUNTS) 420 00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:53,420 Ow! 421 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,510 (STRAINS) Gramps! 422 00:18:55,710 --> 00:18:58,260 Don't give up. Earn it, Jake. 423 00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,100 (FU GRUNTING) 424 00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:04,520 Here's hoping this is on the diet menu. 425 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,560 -(CHOMP) -(SCREAMS) 426 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,440 -(ALL SCREAMING) -(THUDS) 427 00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:15,530 Replay! 428 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,660 Not this time, fleabag! 429 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,910 -Ahhh. -(JAKE GRUNTS) 430 00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:25,700 (GOBLINS LAUGHING) 431 00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,460 You can't hit what you can't see. 432 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,550 Huh? (GRUNTING) 433 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,340 Come on, Jake, think! 434 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,310 A-ha! 435 00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:49,690 (GRUNTS) 436 00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:51,140 Gotcha! 437 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,860 -GRANDPA: Go, Jake! To the witches! -On it, G. 438 00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,570 Leave the others. After the controller! 439 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,450 -Is it ready? -MONICA: We need a minute. 440 00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:11,330 No prob, I'll just punch in some... Nah. 441 00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,420 Let's earn this old school. 442 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,420 Come and get it. 443 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,760 -Ahhh. -(SHRIEKS) 444 00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:22,340 Olé! 445 00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:23,640 Olé on the flip side. 446 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,850 -Now, Jake. It's ready. -And o-later. 447 00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:29,270 (ALL GRUNTING) 448 00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:35,020 (EXPLOSION) 449 00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:37,940 ALL: Ahhh. 450 00:20:38,110 --> 00:20:39,570 Game over. 451 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,620 Feeling any better, brave strong hero man? 452 00:20:44,780 --> 00:20:47,200 Much. (CHUCKLE) You are too kind. 453 00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:48,950 He's so polite. 454 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,540 And wrinkly cute. 455 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:52,080 I call first hug. 456 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,920 (ALL SQUEAL) 457 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,000 Hey, uh... You guys got any magical medicine for me and... 458 00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:59,840 -Sorry, we don't talk to cheaters. -WITCHES: Harrumph! 459 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,260 Well, at least tomorrow's another day... 460 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:06,800 It sure is! Day of lesson learned! 461 00:21:09,260 --> 00:21:12,270 Hey, I actually studied this stuff. 462 00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:14,350 Preparation! It's dynamite! 463 00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:18,610 Go for the five-alarm, dude. 464 00:21:18,770 --> 00:21:21,780 Nah. I think I'll start mild and work my way up. 465 00:21:21,940 --> 00:21:25,320 He knows his chili limit! Happy tummy! 466 00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:28,160 (CHEERING) 467 00:21:29,740 --> 00:21:32,120 TRIXIE: I can't believe he actually pulled it off. 468 00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:33,870 He deserved it. He kept working at it. 469 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:38,040 Yeah, looks like Ron Slam knows a little more than Tommy King, huh? 470 00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:40,090 You're fired! Now get out of here! 471 00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:43,550 But I need the money for my third beach house! (CHILDISH SHRIEKING) 472 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,380 I guess there's something to that old, 473 00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:47,800 "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again," thing, huh? 474 00:21:47,970 --> 00:21:51,060 Usually. Maybe not always, though. 475 00:21:51,970 --> 00:21:53,980 Hey, Stacey, check out my trophy. 476 00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:58,230 I won! Hey, wait up! Stacey! 477 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,280 (LAUGHS) Keep working, Spud. Keep working... 478 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,240 (LAUGHS) The end! 479 00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:08,620 JAPANESE GAME SHOW HOST: Judges, show us Jake Long final scores. 480 00:22:08,780 --> 00:22:11,370 For fighting style, Mermaid gives 9.3, Cyclops gives 9.2 481 00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:13,500 and Mountain Goblin, 0.7. 482 00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:15,290 For hugging style, Mermaid, 8.3, 483 00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:17,000 Cyclops, 7.9 and... (LAUGHS) 484 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,590 Mountain Goblin is really hating his performance. 485 00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:23,510 For chili spit style (LAUGHS) who cares about scores? 486 00:22:23,670 --> 00:22:25,300 Show me chili spit again. 487 00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:28,930 Again! Again! Again! 488 00:22:29,090 --> 00:22:30,800 Look out, here comes the castle.