1
00:00:04,790 --> 00:00:05,830
(JAKE GROANS)
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,420
Easy there, player.
3
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:08,670
It's all over now.
4
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:09,840
Hey, what's with Chuckles?
5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,970
You ever have one of those days where
nothing goes right?
6
00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,970
-(JAKE GROANS)
-That bad, huh?
7
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,970
Let's just say if Jake's day was
a wacky Japanese game show,
8
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:21,350
it would probably look
something like this.
9
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,810
JAPANESE GAME SHOW HOST: Day of Failure!
10
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,940
(SUSTAINED SCREAM)
11
00:00:26,770 --> 00:00:29,360
Pop quiz?
But I didn't even read the chapter.
12
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,440
Ooh! Pop quiz!
13
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:33,950
Watch as report card grade is
chopped like sashimi.
14
00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:36,450
(LAUGHS) Is cause for unhappiness, no?
15
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,240
Hey, cool. They put in a chili bar.
16
00:00:39,410 --> 00:00:41,500
Whoa, Jake. Uh... That's the five-alarmer.
17
00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:44,920
You gotta prep your tongue with
some two-alarmer first, ding-ding!
18
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:46,630
Who's the fire-breather here, Spud?
19
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,300
Uh? (SPITS)
20
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,930
Chili Spit? Pretty girl? Oh, no!
21
00:00:55,090 --> 00:00:57,010
Ah. (LAUGHS)
22
00:00:57,340 --> 00:00:58,970
JAKE: A skateboarding contest?
23
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,310
Now this is something I can't lose.
24
00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:02,980
BRAD: Eyes on the Bradster!
25
00:01:03,140 --> 00:01:05,190
Attention, over-padded dorklings.
26
00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:09,820
The Bradster hereby proclamates that
he's gonna be skatin' and winnin'
27
00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:13,400
the Five Boroughs Skate Jam-bo-ree!
(CHEERS)
28
00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:17,070
Boy, you don't know
a nose-grind from a pork rind!
29
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,240
Yeah. That's why my dad hired somebody
who does,
30
00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:24,160
my personal trainer,
pro boarder, Tommy King!
31
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:26,330
(CROWD GASPS)
32
00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:30,090
(LAUGHS) What's up, everybody?
33
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,710
Unfair skateboarding help!
It is not the bomb!
34
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:37,220
And... so on and so forth.
You get the idea.
35
00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:40,050
The only good thing about this day is
that it's over.
36
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,470
Jake! Urgent assignment!
You must go immediately!
37
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,980
(GROANS) Aw, man!
38
00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:48,770
Grandpa surprise! (LAUGHS)
Start your theme song now!
39
00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:50,400
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
40
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,320
♪ He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪
41
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,570
♪ He's young and fast
He's the chosen one ♪
42
00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:59,740
♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪
43
00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:02,740
♪ He's the American Dragon ♪
44
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,960
♪ He's gonna stop his enemies
with his dragon power ♪
45
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,960
♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
46
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,000
♪ A real live wire ♪
47
00:02:12,170 --> 00:02:13,880
♪ American Dragon ♪
48
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:17,340
♪ American Dragon ♪
49
00:02:21,510 --> 00:02:23,760
♪ He's the American Dragon ♪
50
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:26,850
♪ His skills are gettin' faster ♪
51
00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:28,270
♪ With Grandpa, the master ♪
52
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,310
♪ His destiny, what's up, G? ♪
53
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,980
♪ It's showtime, baby, for the legacy ♪
54
00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:33,400
♪ American Dragon ♪
55
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,530
♪ I'm a dragon, I'm not braggin'
It's my destiny ♪
56
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,740
♪ I'm the magical protector of the NYC ♪
57
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:40,910
Ya heard?
58
00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:44,330
♪ American Dragon ♪
59
00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:45,830
Yeow!
60
00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:53,960
Urgent assignment? Come on, G.
Hasn't my day been bad enough?
61
00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:57,130
Wah-wah, whiney bim-booey-hoo-hoo!
62
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,880
You think you're the only one
with problems? Get over yourself.
63
00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:03,640
Uh... (CHUCKLES) Sorry.
64
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:04,970
I get moody when I'm hungry.
65
00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:06,640
See, the vet put me on a new diet today.
66
00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:08,270
Says I gotta take better care of myself.
67
00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:09,940
Can you believe that garbage? (CHUCKLES)
68
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,900
Anyway, I'm thinking maybe I just
get this day out of the way
69
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,900
-and then do your thing tomorrow, cool?
-(EXCLAIMS IN CHINESE)
70
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,280
Not cool. Grandpa does not use
the word urgent unless he means it!
71
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:23,820
Inside this box is
the latest creation of the N.E.R.D.
72
00:03:23,990 --> 00:03:24,990
The Nerd?
73
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:26,700
FU: New Elfin Research
and Development.
74
00:03:26,870 --> 00:03:29,870
Bunch of tech-dweeb elves workin' on
inventing new magical objects.
75
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,630
Talk about puttin' the "eek" in geek.
(LAUGHING)
76
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:38,210
Oh, that's just the diet talking.
They're good kids.
77
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:41,380
Unfortunately, some of their inventions
are so powerful
78
00:03:41,550 --> 00:03:44,260
they must be destroyed
rather than fall into the wrong hands.
79
00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:46,310
Why can't they just destroy it themselves?
80
00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:49,730
Because they're too busy trying to solve
the equation of why they never get dates.
81
00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:51,560
(LAUGHING)
82
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,520
I'm sayin' they're nerds! (LAUGHS)
83
00:03:54,940 --> 00:03:56,480
-GRANDPA: Fu Dog!
-(GASPS)
84
00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,480
Two words, I'm hungry!
85
00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:01,740
It requires powerful magic
to destroy powerful magic.
86
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:04,870
You must deliver this box to
the Witches of Woodstock.
87
00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:08,160
They alone can brew a potion
strong enough for the job.
88
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,000
Yeah, can they brew a vegetable juice
89
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,460
that doesn't taste like something
an ogre yakked up?
90
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,290
(SPITS)
91
00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:16,590
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
92
00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:19,000
Ay-ya. And take Fu Dog with you.
93
00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:22,930
Oh, perfect. Now I gotta go on
a mission with Grouchy Grouchowski.
94
00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:25,340
Moo-dy today, am I right?
95
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,760
FU: Let's see here.
I think we need to head west.
96
00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,520
Wait, am I holding this thing upside down?
97
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:31,680
(SPLUTTERS)
98
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:33,940
Uh, ow... What... Hello...
99
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,850
You're not brightening my day here, Fu.
100
00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:39,480
Hey, I don't have every secret island
on the Hudson memorized, all right?
101
00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:42,070
Gotta figure out which one
that the Witches of Woodstock live on...
102
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,740
-There it is down there!
-Whoa!
103
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,320
FU: Water landing!
104
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,120
Witches... Great.
105
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:49,830
The last thing I need
on a day like this is
106
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:53,250
is to spend time with some ugly,
scraggly-haired hippie...
107
00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:55,920
Hello, ladies.
108
00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:58,380
Jake Long, meet The Witches of Woodstock,
109
00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:00,300
Monica, Annika and Bubonica.
110
00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:02,760
Oh, yeah. I love his hair.
111
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,300
And he's so cute.
112
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,970
-Hey, I saw him first.
-I call dibs.
113
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,720
-It's too late for dibs.
-I'll hex you good!
114
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:11,470
Uh, no need to fight, ladies.
115
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,060
(GASPS) He's so good with people!
116
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,230
Let's hear it for Jake!
117
00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:16,730
ALL: Hooray!
118
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:17,900
Ahhh!
119
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,360
The destruction potion is almost ready.
120
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:23,650
You don't mind waiting?
121
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,400
Nah. I'm kinda diggin' it out here.
122
00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:27,240
You know, the beauty of nature...
123
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:31,620
Really? I think being out here alone
gets so scary!
124
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,000
-(SCREAMS) Boo!
-(SHRIEKS)
125
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,160
-See?
-Yeah.
126
00:05:34,330 --> 00:05:36,960
Sometimes I wish we had
someone to check up on us.
127
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,210
Someone strong and brave
to protect us from danger.
128
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:43,300
Maybe this isn't such a bad day after all.
129
00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:44,630
(THANDERA ROARS)
130
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,180
ANNIKA: (GASP) Mountain goblins!
131
00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:48,300
You have something we want, boy.
132
00:05:48,470 --> 00:05:50,350
Give us the box
and there will be no trouble.
133
00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:53,100
Uh... Looks like word got out
about the elves' little project.
134
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,100
-How's that potion coming?
-Another minute?
135
00:05:55,270 --> 00:05:57,100
Good. Dragon up!
136
00:05:57,270 --> 00:05:58,770
-Get the box!
-(GOBLINS YELL)
137
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:02,520
Y'all ever play bowling for goblins?
It's easy.
138
00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:04,570
-First you gather your pin-heads...
-(SCREAMS)
139
00:06:06,030 --> 00:06:07,570
(GRUNTING)
140
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:09,280
And then you strike.
141
00:06:10,910 --> 00:06:11,910
Now!
142
00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:14,950
What the... Since when do goblins fly?
143
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,040
Whoa!
144
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,620
THANDERA: The box is ours!
145
00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:20,920
(BOTH STRAINING)
146
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,300
-Here, here!
-Don't worry Jake! We'll get them!
147
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:26,010
He has reinforcements. Retreat!
148
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,510
What? I didn't even know
I had reinforcements.
149
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,680
ANNIKA: You don't.
150
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:34,260
Ah, haven't you ever heard
an audio illusion spell before?
151
00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:35,680
CROWD: Yeah, where have you been?
152
00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:38,350
Oh, hex.
There goes the last of our yeti fur.
153
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:39,980
We can't brew more potion without it,
154
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,980
and we won't get another shipment
until next week!
155
00:06:42,150 --> 00:06:44,230
A week?
Then what am I supposed to do with this?
156
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,780
You're gonna have to hold onto it.
157
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:48,740
I mean, you're so good
at protecting things, anyway.
158
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,570
(GIGGLES)
159
00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:54,330
Let's go, kid. Ugh, Witches...
160
00:06:56,910 --> 00:06:59,790
(MOAN) Worst day ever...
161
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,840
And I can't believe I have
to spend my whole week guarding this...
162
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,380
What's in here, anyway?
163
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,460
Uh, kid... Maybe it's just the hunger,
164
00:07:06,630 --> 00:07:08,970
but my gut's got a bad feeling about this.
Whoa.
165
00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:12,970
It looks like some kind of...
video game controller?
166
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,850
Cheese on a biscuit,
those elves really are nerds.
167
00:07:16,010 --> 00:07:17,310
What's all this writing on the back?
168
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:20,640
Well, I haven't read elf
since I dated one back in the 1800's
169
00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:23,440
but... Hmmm. In the title here,
I can pick out the words,
170
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,190
"Cheat, Code, Life,"
and this sequence here is labeled,
171
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:27,440
"Replay," for some reason.
172
00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:29,570
That's what my day needs, a replay.
173
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,820
Or at least a do-over
of that goblin fight.
174
00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:33,530
Uh, Jake? You might not wanna...
175
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:37,080
I mean, since when
do goblins sprout wings and fl...
176
00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:39,620
(SURPRISED YELL)
177
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:41,830
(GASP) Mountain goblins!
178
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,960
You have something we want, boy.
179
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,880
Give us the box
and there will be no trouble.
180
00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:48,380
Okay, I am having
some serious Deja Fu here.
181
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:50,300
No. We're having a replay.
182
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,180
This thing really is a controller...
for real life!
183
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,220
That stuff on the back is all cheat codes.
184
00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:56,640
Yeah, I don't speak geek.
185
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,180
Cheat codes are what you punch in
to get an edge in the game...
186
00:07:59,350 --> 00:08:01,350
boost your strength,
get special weapons...
187
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,230
I just hit the code for replay,
and here we are!
188
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,730
I wonder what else they got here.
189
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,650
-Get the box!
-(GOBLINS YELL)
190
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,360
Uh, you might wanna
save play time for later, kid.
191
00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:11,990
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
192
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:14,200
Game on. Dragon up!
193
00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:16,830
Strength boost.
194
00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:19,160
I am definitely gonna have
to write this one down.
195
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:21,250
(ALL SHOUTING)
196
00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:23,710
-(GRUNTING)
-(ALL CHEERING)
197
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:25,580
Now!
198
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,250
Oh, no. Not this time.
199
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,090
Whoa!
200
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:35,220
Check the serious air! Whoa!
201
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,430
Ah! I'm on super speed here.
202
00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,100
(GRUNTS)
203
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:41,640
Uklak's Beard. He knows the codes!
204
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:44,850
We'll find another way
to get the controller. Retreat!
205
00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:47,940
Yo, the game's still going!
206
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,690
And the potion's ready, too.
207
00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,400
Yay, hugs!
208
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:54,860
Aw, man!
I barely even got to use this thing.
209
00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:57,070
(GOBLIN GROANING)
210
00:08:57,740 --> 00:09:00,410
I'll teach you
to frighten my ladies, chump!
211
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:02,620
(GOBLIN YELLING)
212
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:03,910
(GRUNTS)
213
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,000
Ooh. Sorry about that.
214
00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,960
Hope you have
more of that destruction potion.
215
00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:11,590
Actually, we're out of yeti fur,
but don't worry about it.
216
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,800
We'll get more in a week.
217
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,840
I'm sure a big hero man like you
can guard it that long.
218
00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:17,470
(MODEST CHUCKLE) Well...
219
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,010
But you better come
and see us before then.
220
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:25,230
Oh, yes, please!
We will be so heartbroken if you don't.
221
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,900
You, uh, remember which one's
the Replay code?
222
00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:30,230
Whoo-hoo.
223
00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:34,530
We will be so heartbroken if you don't.
224
00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:39,870
Aw, yeah. I think this is
turning into a very good day.
225
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,870
Shield, invisibility, boosts for agility,
226
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,080
speed, intelligence, charm...
227
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:51,380
(LAUGHS) This thing is off the chain.
228
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,550
No, that thing is off-limits.
229
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:56,340
We had our fun, now let's lock it up
in the vault before its...
230
00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:58,140
Don't you get what we've got here, Fu?
231
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,140
I never have to have a bad day again!
232
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,970
This is gonna let me cheat code my way
to a perfect life.
233
00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:05,350
Oh, no, it ain't. Now hand it over.
234
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,150
Uh... You sure there's nothing
you want to cheat?
235
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:11,400
Like, maybe... your rabbit food diet?
236
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,190
FU'S STOMACH: Listen to him!
237
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,940
Is there a code that'll make this taste
like a cheeseburger?
238
00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:23,450
Take... order?
239
00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:26,830
Yeah. We'll have the front side to start,
back side for dessert.
240
00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:29,040
(BOTH SIGH)
241
00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:31,210
Ooh, baby.
242
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,840
Oh I'm as... (HICCUPS) stuffed
as that Turducken I just ate.
243
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,420
Ready for a... (HICCUPS) replay?
244
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,010
Take... order?
245
00:10:41,180 --> 00:10:43,430
Nah, we had a late lunch.
246
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,140
Uh, Spudinski, what are you doing?
247
00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:48,850
(SCREAMS)
248
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,690
I'm practicing my never-before-seen
249
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:54,020
one arm 50/50 wiggy wack moon
boot blood rush handstand.
250
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:56,940
I figure, I gotta bring out a primo trick
251
00:10:57,110 --> 00:10:59,070
to beat Brad's Tommy King training.
252
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,700
Tsk... Spud, my man,
253
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:04,240
don't waste another minute of your life
on painfully unnecessary wipe-outs.
254
00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:06,410
But, Jake, the crashes give me experience.
255
00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:09,580
And experience is
the mother of both skill and reward.
256
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:10,830
Instead of grounding me,
257
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,290
my dad makes me read
motivational business books.
258
00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:17,090
That was from Ron Slam's The Grindstone:
Is Your Nose To It?
259
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,590
Psst... Old school.
260
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,590
I say, why suffer a thousand failures
261
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,260
when you can get it right the first time,
every time?
262
00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:25,970
You blinged your
Kami-Kai Bighand Kung-Fu controller.
263
00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:27,890
And how's this take
the place of practice again?
264
00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:31,100
No, it's a magical controller for life.
265
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:34,060
And I got all the cheat codes, baby.
Check this.
266
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:37,860
Let's see... Boost Agility,
add a little High Jump,
267
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,650
and some Reverse Gravity
for the hang time.
268
00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:42,070
Hey, yo, Brad!
269
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,910
Check out what
a real skater looks like, fool!
270
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,540
You better teach me all that.
271
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,710
Daddy covers overtime?
272
00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:54,040
-Yeah. We'll pay. We'll pay.
-Right on.
273
00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:57,710
Guys?
274
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,630
Can I not get a bump-bump
for schoolin' the chump-chump?
275
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,800
I don't know, Jake.
276
00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:04,720
I love magical powers
as much as the next guy,
277
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,140
but Ron Slam says,
278
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:09,060
"The only treasures worth having
are the ones we pay for with sweat."
279
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:10,980
Speaking of which, I gotta make
280
00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:13,150
another sweat deposit
at the bank of success.
281
00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:15,360
Nose to the grindstone!
282
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,610
(THUDS) Ow. My nose.
283
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,480
What is up with you guys?
284
00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:21,990
Didn't your mama ever teach you
that cheating is wrong?
285
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,910
You can't use that thing in competition.
It's not fair.
286
00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,910
-What makes you think you can...
-(REWINDS)
287
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,790
Didn't your mama teach you
that cheating is...
288
00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:31,410
Wrong. So true. What was I thinking?
289
00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:33,460
I'll never use this thing again.
290
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,210
Uh, that's... Well, that's... Good?
291
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,500
(WHISTLING)
292
00:12:37,670 --> 00:12:40,010
Looks like it's just you and me, buddy.
293
00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:41,970
Let's go live the easy life.
294
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,260
Another pop quiz?
295
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,300
I hope you read the chapter this time.
296
00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:48,390
Nah. But I'm feeling lucky today.
297
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,180
Boost intelligence.
298
00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:52,430
A plus. Ha!
299
00:12:58,690 --> 00:12:59,940
(SPITS)
300
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,820
Wow... Uh... Thanks!
301
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,320
Hey, I owed you one.
302
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,750
Add some One Punch Knock Out.
303
00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:15,460
Then Boost Strength to taste
and simmer with a Protective Shield.
304
00:13:15,790 --> 00:13:17,170
Soup's on!
305
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,760
He's too powerful!
306
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,800
Every warrior has a weakness,
307
00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:29,560
and victory goes to he who won't quit
until he finds it.
308
00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:32,220
I learned it from a Ron Slam book.
309
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,770
The guy is a genius!
310
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:37,730
One more pebble
in the rock garden of success!
311
00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:40,520
Ow.
312
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,410
Whoo! (GRUNTS)
313
00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:49,200
Jakey! How good of you to show up.
314
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,200
-Are you ready to practice?
-Naw. Psst, it's cool.
315
00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:55,160
Oh, I've been, uh, practicing on my own.
316
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,040
Whoo!
317
00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:02,050
(GRUNTS)
318
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:05,010
-See?
-Oh, nuh-uh, player.
319
00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:07,890
You are not still using that con-troller!
320
00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:09,550
So what if I am? You think it's fair
321
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,510
that Brad got his dad to hire Tommy King?
322
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,020
Woo-hoo! I own this ramp.
323
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,890
I really do. My dad bought it for me.
324
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,610
What, you wanna be like Brad, now?
325
00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:22,150
Getting everything you want
with no hard work?
326
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,190
Ugh. It's not just about
the skate contest, Jakey.
327
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,320
It's about getting fat, slow and lazy
328
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,410
while you let that thing do
all the work for you...
329
00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:30,700
Boost Charm.
330
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:34,120
(LAUGHS) Did I tell you how
kickin' that new top is?
331
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,460
Ooh girl, you've got it going on.
332
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:39,210
(LAUGHS) You... You think so?
333
00:14:39,370 --> 00:14:42,250
I so appreciate that.
Thank you, Jakey! Ohhh.
334
00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:43,880
No prob, babes.
335
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,760
(SCOFFS) Fat, slow and lazy?
Pshaw. I don't think so.
336
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:53,680
FU: Whoa. Ah.
Kid, punch in the cheat code.
337
00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:55,890
I'd do it but... (BURP)
338
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:58,890
My eyes are glazed over with coconut milk
and lobster grease.
339
00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:00,980
Oh, I love my new diet.
340
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,190
No... (HICCUP) prob.
341
00:15:03,690 --> 00:15:06,280
-Hey!
-I've got it, master!
342
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,240
What did I tell you?
343
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,200
Keep trying,
and you're bound to find a weakness.
344
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:14,240
I'll show you who's... (HICCUP) weak...
345
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,700
(BREATHING HEAVILY) Dragon up!
346
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,210
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
347
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:21,920
(GOBLINS LAUGHING)
348
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,750
Hey! Ooh. Quit it!
349
00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,710
When I get that thing back, I am gonna...
350
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,170
What's the matter, kid? You got
a million tricks up your sleeve.
351
00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:29,680
I'm a little out of practice, I...
352
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,010
Enough!
353
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,010
There will be time for revenge later.
354
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:35,510
Leave the piggies to their food coma.
355
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,560
(GROANS, SIGHS)
356
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:41,060
Aw...
357
00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:43,810
(LOUD, LONG BELCH)
358
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,480
Oh, yeah, that one's been
waitin' to come out.
359
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,110
Now, where was I?
360
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,570
Oh, right. Man!
361
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,700
(GRANDPA EXCLAIMS IN CHINESE)
362
00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:59,120
Did I not tell you
that magical object was dangerous?
363
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:00,410
I know, Gramps.
364
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:03,290
That's why we have to get it out
of the hands of those mountain goblins.
365
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:05,380
It was not their hands I was referring to.
366
00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:06,550
Huh?
367
00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:08,460
Resistance builds the muscle,
young dragon.
368
00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:10,590
If you remove every obstacle from life,
369
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,970
you become weak in body and in mind.
370
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,890
Your enemies won
because they were willing to do
371
00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:16,310
what you have cheated to avoid,
372
00:16:16,470 --> 00:16:20,020
to fail and fail again
until a solution was found.
373
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,770
(STRAINING)
374
00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:24,270
So you want me to fail?
375
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,940
Mission accomplished.
376
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,610
I want you to fail sometimes.
377
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:32,030
For it is only by experiencing failure
that we learn to succeed.
378
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,360
Wow. Deep.
379
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:36,490
Ron Slam... I get a daily email quote.
380
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,200
Now, to the task at hand.
381
00:16:38,370 --> 00:16:40,500
You say it was mountain goblins
who took the controller.
382
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:44,540
Only one range in this area
is not accounted for by giants,
383
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:46,380
trolls or other mountain dwellers.
384
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:49,130
It lies here...
In Tallman Mountain State Park
385
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,670
on the Hudson River.
386
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,720
You must scour every cave
and crevasse in this range
387
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,590
until you find the goblins' lair.
388
00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:01,890
(STRAINING)
389
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:06,020
(CLATTERING)
390
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,770
Whoa!
391
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,610
-(SCREAMS)
-(BATS SCREECHING)
392
00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:16,870
Huh?
393
00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:18,780
Ahhh!
394
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:23,040
Aw, man. This is gonna take forever.
395
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:26,250
There's gotta be some other way to...
Wait a minute.
396
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,460
Maybe there is.
397
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:32,300
Ear of the Dragon.
398
00:17:35,090 --> 00:17:36,840
ADIRONDACK: His handwriting is terrible,
399
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:39,010
but we've got half the codes
deciphered already!
400
00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:40,720
THANDERA: Good. Keep working.
401
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:43,180
Soon we shall have the ultimate power.
402
00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:44,600
Gotcha.
403
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,150
(CONTROLLER BEEPING)
404
00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:55,740
And then this one gives your whole team
throwback jerseys.
405
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,820
Ooh, ooh!
Do they have the 1976 Goblintrotters?
406
00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:04,040
Sweet. Meadowlark Demon.
407
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,830
I gave the witch triplets a heads-up.
408
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,580
They're workin' on the destruction potion.
409
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,250
All we gotta do is get 'em the controller.
410
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:13,010
Then let's do it.
You go left, G, I'll go right.
411
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,550
-Dragons!
-Goody.
412
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,980
(GOBLINS YELL)
413
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,270
Ahhh!
414
00:18:30,230 --> 00:18:32,400
-(CHEERING)
-THANDERA: Stand down, friends.
415
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,740
I want to show these dragons
what it's like to fight an unfair battle.
416
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,660
The old one goes down first.
417
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,450
(STRAINING)
418
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,120
Ahhh!
419
00:18:45,370 --> 00:18:47,460
Ahhh. (GRUNTS)
420
00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:53,420
Ow!
421
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,510
(STRAINS) Gramps!
422
00:18:55,710 --> 00:18:58,260
Don't give up. Earn it, Jake.
423
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,100
(FU GRUNTING)
424
00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:04,520
Here's hoping this is on the diet menu.
425
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,560
-(CHOMP)
-(SCREAMS)
426
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,440
-(ALL SCREAMING)
-(THUDS)
427
00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:15,530
Replay!
428
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,660
Not this time, fleabag!
429
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,910
-Ahhh.
-(JAKE GRUNTS)
430
00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:25,700
(GOBLINS LAUGHING)
431
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,460
You can't hit what you can't see.
432
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,550
Huh? (GRUNTING)
433
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,340
Come on, Jake, think!
434
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,310
A-ha!
435
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:49,690
(GRUNTS)
436
00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:51,140
Gotcha!
437
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,860
-GRANDPA: Go, Jake! To the witches!
-On it, G.
438
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,570
Leave the others. After the controller!
439
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,450
-Is it ready?
-MONICA: We need a minute.
440
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:11,330
No prob, I'll just punch in some... Nah.
441
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,420
Let's earn this old school.
442
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,420
Come and get it.
443
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,760
-Ahhh.
-(SHRIEKS)
444
00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:22,340
Olé!
445
00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:23,640
Olé on the flip side.
446
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,850
-Now, Jake. It's ready.
-And o-later.
447
00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:29,270
(ALL GRUNTING)
448
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:35,020
(EXPLOSION)
449
00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:37,940
ALL: Ahhh.
450
00:20:38,110 --> 00:20:39,570
Game over.
451
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,620
Feeling any better, brave strong hero man?
452
00:20:44,780 --> 00:20:47,200
Much. (CHUCKLE) You are too kind.
453
00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:48,950
He's so polite.
454
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,540
And wrinkly cute.
455
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:52,080
I call first hug.
456
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,920
(ALL SQUEAL)
457
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,000
Hey, uh... You guys got
any magical medicine for me and...
458
00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:59,840
-Sorry, we don't talk to cheaters.
-WITCHES: Harrumph!
459
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,260
Well, at least tomorrow's another day...
460
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:06,800
It sure is! Day of lesson learned!
461
00:21:09,260 --> 00:21:12,270
Hey, I actually studied this stuff.
462
00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:14,350
Preparation! It's dynamite!
463
00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:18,610
Go for the five-alarm, dude.
464
00:21:18,770 --> 00:21:21,780
Nah. I think I'll start mild
and work my way up.
465
00:21:21,940 --> 00:21:25,320
He knows his chili limit! Happy tummy!
466
00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:28,160
(CHEERING)
467
00:21:29,740 --> 00:21:32,120
TRIXIE: I can't believe
he actually pulled it off.
468
00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:33,870
He deserved it. He kept working at it.
469
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:38,040
Yeah, looks like Ron Slam knows
a little more than Tommy King, huh?
470
00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:40,090
You're fired! Now get out of here!
471
00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:43,550
But I need the money for
my third beach house! (CHILDISH SHRIEKING)
472
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,380
I guess there's something to that old,
473
00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:47,800
"If at first you don't succeed,
try, try again," thing, huh?
474
00:21:47,970 --> 00:21:51,060
Usually. Maybe not always, though.
475
00:21:51,970 --> 00:21:53,980
Hey, Stacey, check out my trophy.
476
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:58,230
I won! Hey, wait up! Stacey!
477
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,280
(LAUGHS) Keep working, Spud.
Keep working...
478
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,240
(LAUGHS) The end!
479
00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:08,620
JAPANESE GAME SHOW HOST:
Judges, show us Jake Long final scores.
480
00:22:08,780 --> 00:22:11,370
For fighting style, Mermaid gives 9.3,
Cyclops gives 9.2
481
00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:13,500
and Mountain Goblin, 0.7.
482
00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:15,290
For hugging style, Mermaid, 8.3,
483
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:17,000
Cyclops, 7.9 and... (LAUGHS)
484
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,590
Mountain Goblin is really hating
his performance.
485
00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:23,510
For chili spit style (LAUGHS)
who cares about scores?
486
00:22:23,670 --> 00:22:25,300
Show me chili spit again.
487
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:28,930
Again! Again! Again!
488
00:22:29,090 --> 00:22:30,800
Look out, here comes the castle.