[theme music playing]
♪ Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪
♪ Sandiego ♪
♪ Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪
[Devineaux] Freeze, right there!
Now rewind.
Stop!
Zoom in on her face.
That is not Carmen Sandiego.
She calls herself "the Duchess."
ACME had no record of her existence until late last night
when she sashayed out of Amsterdam's Rijksmuseum
packing a painting valued at over 30 million euro.
Thirty million euro for that?
"Woman in Blue Reading a Letter"
is one of Johannes Vermeer's most important earlier works.
See the hallmark of his style?
The way he paints natural light makes his subject look so realistic.
Ms. Argent, need I remind you
that you're the only one who cares about such dull facts?
Excellent eye, Agent Argent.
Attention to detail is the very cornerstone
of ACME surveillance.
[stammering]
Precisely why we should further analyze the particulars of this, uh, uh... hmm.
Swipe here.
I highly suggest acquainting yourself
with our CrimeNet technology, Agent Devineaux.
You're not with Interpol anymore.
Your first mission as agents of ACME will be to recover that painting
and ascertain whether or not this Duchess is working for VILE.
Or whether she is an accomplice to Carmen Sandiego.
[Carmen] Blue isn't really my color, but I have to admit...
I've never stolen anything so luminous.
[Player]Enjoy it while you can, Red.
You have a whole hour before you need to get into character.
Right. Let's get the crew up to speed.
Zack! Ivy!
Avast, me mateys! Arrrhh!
Is this a good look for me?
Those aren't toys, people. They're my disguise.
Now, pay attention. Here's what we know.
Player's decryption of the VILE hard drive
revealed details of an intricate ongoing operation.
VILE operatives have been quietly stealing paintings by the artist Vermeer
from museums all over the world
and replacing the originals with amazingly accurate forgeries.
What?
Why would they bother leaving fakes behind?
To ensure museum security would never realize
the originals had been stolen to begin with,
which would allow the entirety of Vermeer's collected works
to slowly and steadily be amassed by VILE mastermind Countess Cleo.
What's the big whoop about these paintings anyway?
No cars, no clowns, no dogs playing poker.
Yeah, and she's reading. Snore.
You aren't the only ones who thought that.
But after some research, I began to see things in a different light.
The Netherlands isn't only known for its tulips, windmills,
and wooden shoes.
It's famous for its painters from the Dutch Golden Age of the 1600s,
Vermeer among them.
[Carmen]But the ordinary people of his portraits weren't the stars.
That would be the mind-boggling way
Vermeer captured natural light with his paintbrush.
Only 34 confirmed paintings by the maestro exist.
Not a whole lot for a major artist.
That makes each one an extremely rare and valuable treasure.
[Player]Which is why we freaked
when we learned there was only one last Vermeer left for Cleo to steal,
from the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, capital of the Netherlands.
[Carmen]So I had to act fast and got to it first
and made my escape through one of Amsterdam's 165 canals,
masquerading as the Duchess.
"Woman in Blue Reading a Letter" is our only shot at stealing back the other 33.
We need Cleo to take the bait so we can push for a direct face-to-face
in the hopes of figuring out where she's keeping the rest.
And if she had any suspicion
that she were dealing with the master super thief Carmen Sandiego,
she'd never let you anywhere near her stolen prizes.
That's why when Cleo's courier arrives to authenticate the painting,
it'll be the Duchess who meets him at the door.
[knocking at door]
Whoa, that can't be him. He's an hour early.
Yowza! Room service is wicked fast here.
Wait!
Don't open that do--!
Oh, still running on Moscow time. Hmm.
Um, you're not a duchess.
You're not my sandwich.
[chuckles] I must have the wrong room. I-- [gasps]
Oh, there she is.
"The Woman in Blah..."
I was to meet a duchess. You would be her...?
[in British accent] Duke? Ah, yes. Ahem.
[chuckles] I'm the Duke... [laughs] of, uh, Vermeer.
Vermeer. Yes. [laughs]
-That's a place? -Uh, yeah.
[stammering in wavering accent] In Boston. Boston.
And you would be, mate?
Dash Haber.
Executive courier to Countess Cleo.
[electronic chirping]
I'll wire the funds immediately and take her off your hands.
Does, uh, this mean anything to ya?
[laughs nervously] I'll inform the countess.
Mr. Haber, report.
The painting checks out.
But I think the duke would prefer to deal directly with you.
Duke?
I promised a complete collection.
If I don't have number 34 in my hands tomorrow night,
I'll be the laughingstock of the criminal underworld.
The countess wishes to invite you to a dinner party and auction.
Great! Yeah, text me the address.
[Dash] Good. A car will pick you up tomorrow, 5:00 p.m. sharp.
And no plus ones, just the painting.
Is your brain made of Swiss cheese?
Yes, the kind with the holes.
[Player]Why would Cleo auction the Vermeers
after going through so much trouble to complete the set?
The thrill of the hunt doesn't last long for her,
and the combined value of the art could easily surpass one billion dollars.
[whistles]
Hello, VILE slush fund.
We'll only have a brief window to steal back all 34 while they're under one roof
before they scatter to the winds.
The good news is we're invited to a party.
And the not-so-good?
We only have 24 hours to transform Zack into a convincing duke.
Cleo will expect a duke to speak in proper diction.
Repeat after me. "Park the car in Aardvark Yard."
"Pahk" the "cahr" in Aahrdvark "Yahd."
Park the car in Aardvark Yard.
Pahk the cahr-- Hold on, hold on. I'm gonna get it.
Cleo will expect a gentleman to wear appropriate wardrobe.
Oh, no, not a monkey suit.
It suits you.
You're way more monkey than man.
Salad fork.
Okay.
-Table fork. -Got it.
Dessert fork.
[gasps] Yum, dessert!
Fish fork.
[gagging] F-Fish?
Oh, come on! You never said I'd have to eat fish.
If they serve it, just keep telling yourself it tastes like chicken.
You need to learn enough talking points about art history to fit in.
Oh, come on. Why?
Because if Cleo thinks for even one moment you are not who you say you are,
she'll feed you to her dogs.
Just don't let her feed me any fish.
[ticking]
Okay, okay, okay. Small fork, salad, dessert fork, cake.
Small fork...
Park the car in Aardvark Yard.
Park the car in Aardvark...
[in British accent] Park the fork in salad yard.
[slurring] Park the fork in my mouth.
[fork clangs]
Zack, you ready?
[in British accent] Ready to park the car in Aardvark Yard.
Dude, that's weird, right?
It's showtime.
Arms.
[wand squeals]
[beeping]
-No tracker? -First thing they check for.
Clean.
We go.
[Carmen] You're doing great, Ivy.
Just keep a safe distance.
We have a tail.
Would you look at that?
A tail tailing a tail.
This ACME technology is more my speed.
Agent Devineaux, the hotel guests registered under a fake name,
but I was able to connect the payment source to the van rental.
You may very well be following the Duchess.
Or Carmen Sandiego.
I suppose that is possible.
[chuckles]
Delighted to hear that you agree for once.
But depriving the world of historic works of art
does not seem to be Ms. Sandiego's MO.
Agh! Just see what you can learn in the hotel suite.
I am driving!
But, Agent De--
[Carmen] Hmm, an old admirer...
in a new set of wheels.
Player, there's a bridge half a klick southeast of us.
-Can you hack into it? -I'm on it.
Take this turn.
[tires squealing]
-[beeping] -[Player]Ah, a drawbridge.
Coming right up.
-Straight ahead. Step on it. -Really?
Make the jump, Ivy. We can't let our tail blow Zack's cover.
You jump, I jump.
[engine revs]
[Ivy] Oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh!
-I can't! -[tires screech]
[in slow-motion] No!
[gasps]
[Devineaux] You!
[laughs] I knew you were behind--
-[car creaking] -[whimpering]
No, no, no, no, no.
No!
[splashes]
Way to shake a tail.
Agent Devineaux, I've discovered something curious in the hotel room--
Are you underwater?
Never mind that!
I now know that Carmen Sandiego is not only behind these crimes,
but working with the so-called Duchess!
You saw them together?
Uh, the Duchess was clearly her driver.
So, she wasn't wearing her eye patch?
Well, uh... ugh.
Why always so many questions? I have one for you.
Where is the ejector button in this car?
Look below the screen
and swipe in the direction you wish to eject.
Mm, ah!
[beeping]
So, do we fish him out or follow my bro?
[Devineaux screaming]
-[door closes] -We're back on the Zack track.
I present to you Countess Cleo...
the Queen of Mean, the Empress of Distress, the Hostess--
Zip it.
[in British accent]Buona sera, mia bella contessa.[kisses]
The work of art.
[in wavering accent] 'Course! Quite luminous, wouldn't you say?
Wunderbar. Wire the funds.
-[computer chirping] -[Player] Funds received, Red.
VILE just fed a whole lot of orphans in your favorite charity.
And I just fed security.
[growls]
[dog whining]
Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?
You are! Yeah, you are!
Shall we dine, Countess?
Aren't you forgetting something, Monsieur Haber?
My assistant...
he thinks Vermeer's a neighborhood in Boston.
[chuckles]
[laughs] Imagine!
His idea of art is probably a painting of dogs playing poker!
[both laughing]
[mocking humming]
Ugh! Duke schmuke.
-[beeping] -[Player] I'm seeing a disarm code.
-[glass clinking] -And I'm hearing a speech coming on.
-[chatter, laughter] -[glass clinking]
Vilest art enthusiasts,
my deepest gratitude for attending this once-in-a-lifetime event.
The art auction will directly follow dinner.
Allow me to at least fill your bellies before emptying your bank accounts.
[guests laugh] Here, here!
[beeps]
[beeping]
Now, this one really speaks to me.
So, where are we at, Player?
First course is on the table.
You need to be in and out with 34 paintings
by the time bananas Foster is served.
Pressure triggers.
We get one half-second for the swap, or the place goes into lockdown.
Right, Carm.
[both exhale]
One down, 33 to go.
When the countess asked me to replicate each of Vermeer's masterworks,
I welcomed the challenge to capture their essence.
Well, it seems the challenge for Monsieur Duke here
is remembering to drink from his own water glass.
[in wavering accent] Sticky fingers. Uh, once a thief, always a thief, right?
Well, aren't you naughty?
We shall all have to watch our billfolds around this one.
[guests laughing]
Good news, Red. Main course was poached pheasant.
Couldn't taste any more like chicken. Zack's in the clear.
And the bad news?
[Player] Dessert's about to be served.
We could really use more time.
[in wavering accent] Oh, yeah! Uh, what's for dessert?
Baked Alaska.
But first, a palate cleanser,
dredged from the Russian sea just this morning.
Fresh beluga caviar.
-[guests chuckling] -[woman] Oh!
-Ahh! -Mmm!
This, uh... [smacks lips]
This wouldn't be... fish?
Uh-oh.
Of course not, you cheeky monkey.
It's fish eggs.
[gulps]
What's wrong, Duke? Not a fan?
[squishing]
[gagging]
I... in fact, love delicious, tiny, black non-chicken eggs
that don't taste anything like chicken.
[gulps]
[laughs] Funny, I never realized.
"Duke" rhymes with "puke."
[gags]
[swallows]
[door opens]
[Devineaux] Do not be alarmed!
I am Inspector Devineaux, and I'm here to warn you
there may be a criminal in your midst!
Is that so?
[Player]Red, I think we just bought you some extra time.
A twisted mastermind has been stealing priceless works of art
from museums across Europe.
She is a true menace.
She?
Yes, indeed. "She."
Carmen Sandiego.
Carmen Sandiego, here?
Impossible.
[gas hissing]
Not only might Carmen Sandiego be lurking somewhere on these premises,
but I have reason to believe she is working with an accomplice...
who could be any one of you.
There she goes!
La Femme Rouge!
Return to your meals.
Dessert's off.
Ha-ha! Two can dance that tango.
[engine starts]
[dogs barking]
[barking]
You've cooked. Now it's time to clean.
Scrub the chateau.
[Devineaux] Whoa!
Not tonight, you scarlet ski demon.
Stop right there, Carmen Sandiego.
Who?
You could have maimed me, you maniac!
[stammering] But your red coat!
What about it?
Red brings out my eyes and coats are warm!
[Zack] So, Ivy's playing red herring?
Huh. That's one fish I don't mind.
You're not the only one who can nail a role, Duke.
[camera shutter clicking]
[Chief]Seems someone didn't wanna leave any trace of this dinner party.
So, you are saying I may have been standing in the very same room
amongst operatives of VILE?
The very organization I've dedicated my life to proving exists?
Yes, Agent Devineaux, that would be an accurate summary.
But we may have both been right about Carmen Sandiego.
[reporter]Needless to say, the mysterious return of 34 stolen Vermeers
to institutions around the world has shocked the art community.
Stealing historic works of art doesn't seem to be her MO,
though she may have been working with the Duchess all along.
[groans]
[Chief]A harsh reminder that we live in a world
where villains may not always look like villains.
Nor heroes like heroes.
All that we can be assured of
is that VILE will continue to operate from the shadows.
So it is imperative that ACME view the world in shades of gray.
[theme music playing]