Hey, Hulkies.
Well, things were really super-awesome
until they got really, really not at all awesome, fast.
Thanks to a certain long-headed freak
who framed us as criminals on earth
And then got us stranded on what seems to be...
Skaar's home. This Skaar's home.
(crowd cheers)
Welcome to Sakaar, Hulks,
where I am the strongest one there is.
Couldn't take over earth, so you settled for this primitive mudball?
(grunts) Sorry, Skaar.
This "mudball" will be your final resting place,
my primitive green friend.
Sakaar has flourished under my rule,
and when I tame the people of earth,
It too will know my grace.
(crowd cheers)
The Leader: And you will forever be remembered
as the monsters you are.
The only thing people are gonna remember about you
is that Hulk, the hero,
kicked your big-headed butt on another planet.
Let's see if you're heroes on Sakaar, shall we?
My subjects, I am sure you remember gentle Skaar,
who so kindly watched out for your well-being?
(crowd boos)
Skaar not enemy...
You not know Skaar.
Oh, my dear Skaar, have you forgotten
what did you did to these poor people?
A shame.
We'll have to correct that.
(grunts)
Wait! Let me handle this.
Fear not, citizens!
You all know how we deal with
the unruly.
(crowd cheers)
-The Leader: Well, come and get me, Hulk! -(growling)
Hulk smash!
(whirring)
(Hulk screaming)
Aah!
(theme music)
(screaming)
If any of you need a reminder of how we deal with traitors,
upstarts, and villains,
allow me to indulge you.
(growls)
A-Bomb: Oh, terrific... Don't people know I hate bugs?
(crowd cheers)
(roars)
Personally, I've been waiting all morning to punch something.
(roars)
(shouts)
Ditto, shulkie!
Skaar: Skaar hate stingy thing!
Now your eight, gross bug-eyes see me.
And now they don't!
(crowd cheers)
(grunting) Not here for your
entertainment!
The Leader: Well, they survived!
I suppose we could let them go,
but I recommend we punish them some more
by throwing them in the pit!
Cheer if you agree with me.
I said "cheer!"
(crowd cheers)
(crowd chants)
Hulk: He's got control chips on everybody.
The Leader: Bingo!
-(screaming) -(crackling)
-Red Hulk: Where are we? -A-Bomb: The pit, duh.
Everybody, okay?
(gasps) Where's Jen? Jen?
Jen? (screams)
You fear for the girl?
Ha! She's much better off than you are.
Move.
A-Bomb: Hulk, this is nuts!
We don't even know what galaxy we're in,
and everyone back on Earth thinks we smashed Vista Verde and bailed.
We gotta get home, dude.
Can't break it to Rick,
but I don't think we'll ever be able
to get people back home on our side.
Some things you just can't bounce back from.
Got a long way to go before clearing our names, Rick.
We can't leave until we free these people from Leader's control.
Ah, what is the matter with you?
Red Hulk: Is that control chip messin' with your head?
Hulk: No. Just like back home,
we help people whether they hate us or not.
Skaar: Maybe Sakaar not want hulk's help.
A-Bomb: Yeah, well, it sure looks like these peeps could use it.
Skaar.
A-Bomb: Uh, hey!
We're the agents of S.M.A.S.H.
And it looks like we'll be doing a lot of smashing with you guys, huh?
(chuckles)
Whoever said humor is universal
obviously hasn't been to the slave mines of Sakaar!
You remember anything yet?
Sure got these guys' attention.
Skaar: Skaar remember... Skaar did his job.
Oh, brother, that ain't good.
(rumbling)
What in tarnation?
Miek: It's the belly...
It swallows all.
None have returned.
Hey, zappy, what're we digging for?
Aah!
Now, get to work!
If Leader already has these people under his control,
then what's he need all these new chips for?
Earth.
Isn't it beautiful?
-Try it on. -Ugh. What happened?
Oh, no, you don't!
Where am I?
Why, the palace, of course.
And my friends?
The Leader: They're safe.
As long as you behave.
My queen.
She-Hulk: Queen?
Why you creepy little...
(screams)
Don't flatter yourself.
"Collateral" and "insurance policy"
just didn't quite have the same ring to them as "queen."
But your part comes later.
For now, enjoy your new jewelry.
Fighting spiders? Digging ditches?
Math?
Whatever the boys are up to,
it ain't as bad as wearing a tiara.
Skaar: Skaar remember now.
People here hate Skaar for what Leader make Skaar do.
Like Korg. He Skaar's enemy.
People here never help Hulks.
Just hate Hulks.
We've all been hated.
Can't change what Leader made you do,
but you can change what they think of you.
Hulk: Why are the guards taking a break?
'Bout time we got ourselves a shot
at the big, bad Skaar!
(thwacks)
Leader's enforcer is nothing now!
Hey. Everyone take it easy.
That's not who Skaar is anymore.
Can it, Greenie. Want respect?
Hit the biggest guy first!
A-Bomb: Nice work, Red, I think they're coming around!
Korg: Gotcha, Skaar.
At last, our revenge!
Into the belly with him!
No!
(screams)
Skaar!
Hiroim: Enough!
When leader finds out you destroyed his prized pets,
you may find yourself in the belly with them.
How 'bout we see how tough you are
without your little shock stick?
Betcha I could whip you with my pinky finger and a blindfold.
I better inform The Leader of the incident.
(groans) That's the stuff. Bring it!
I'll be back for you.
I'll be counting the minutes.
You big red gorilla. This is serious!
We just lost Hulk and Skaar!
For all we know, they could be...
Man up, Jones.
Greenie can take a neutron bomb in the chest,
you think a tumble down a well is gonna hurt him?
Ah. Good... Good point.
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
These guys fear big, tall, and sandy over there.
Ooh, so we smash him with kindness?
Eh. Yeah, something like that.
But you know, we might just have to smash him
the old-fashioned way.
Now, you get all camo'ed up and track down She-Hulk.
Red Hulk: Time to bust outta this rock-factory.
Hulk: Skaar, that you?
Camera's finally good for something.
(Hulk groans)
Skaar! Settle down. It's me.
Skaar sorry.
Skaar thought Hulk was monster.
No sweat. I'm used to it.
Hulk risk everything for Skaar.
No matter what everyone else thinks of us,
we stick by each other.
Now let's go get the rest of our family.
Remind me to thank Korg for throwing us right...
To the exit.
No! Skaar save Hulk!
Hulk Skaar only friend!
Give Hulk back!
(spits)
Somebody get me a tissue.
(monster roars)
Must've scared it off.
Skaar: Or he not like taste of Hulk.
Skaar: Leader's palace up there.
Hulk: Better start jumping.
Got a long way to go.
Don't like being out in the open like this.
Remember any secret shortcuts?
Skaar know that cave.
Lucky girl.
You are to be wed to the all-powerful emperor.
Honey, he's lucky
I haven't pounded his noggin back to normal size.
Shh. Such talk.
We owe Leader a great debt.
He civilized us.
Gave us technology and energy.
Yeah, to control and enslave you!
Get me one of these.
I think I know how to stop him
and get you your freedom.
-Am I allowed in here? -(woman gasps)
Absolutely not!
You're okay! Where's Hulk?
Uh, jury's still out on that one.
He's okay, though. I think.
Now, come on. Let's get out of here.
No, I can do more damage from in here.
Go find Hulk. Yeesh.
Everyone's so bossy today.
Found Jen. She's engaged.
How's it going down here?
Engaged? To what?
Eh, never mind. I don't really care.
Bug-face here, Miek,
says there's a rumor going around of a revolt.
What? You started that rumor.
Red Hulk: It's called disinfo, genius.
I'll handle the guards.
You get Korg on our side.
All right, look dude. You wanna dig up rocks
for the rest of your life, that's fine.
But me and the red guy got bigger plans than that.
So you got two choices.
Join us or get smashed!
Or I guess there's a third option where
you just hang out and watch while we...
We're with you, blue.
Gotta distract the guards,
so let's make it convincing, huh?
Awesome... Oh, wait, right.
Unhand me, you fiend!
Hey, break it up!
Red Hulk: Get 'em!
Alley-oop!
All right, tough guy,
Get ready to see red!
Starting to make me...
Mad!
(grunts)
Boo! Ooh, I got my spin punch workin'!
Bam!
Fellow slaves,
these two warriors are on our side.
Today, we take back our freedom!
What's the matter?
Can't take a guy in a fair fight?
Red fool.
Leader will destroy you all.
Let him try.
(grunts)
This'll control you no more.
-Freedom! -(slaves cheer)
You have their support,
but Skaar will not be forgiven so easily.
The people will want revenge.
Using his subhuman intelligence
and dumb luck, your cousin has escaped.
He'll come for you,
and I'll be waiting.
Yeah, waiting to catch a smack-down.
(whirring)
(screams)
You will learn your place,
my queen.
Skaar home.
Skaar see Leader make people forget.
Pictures make sure Skaar remember.
This Skaar's story.
Skaar was small and lived here alone.
A family found Skaar.
Skaar got strong and protected family
until one day leader came
and took Skaar away,
made Skaar do bad things.
He turned you into a villain, just like he did us back home.
Earth might never accept us again,
but we can set things right here.
Wrong. You're doomed on both planets.
(both cough)
Why didn't you escape with your friend when you had the chance?
Because your freedom is worth fighting for.
The Leader: Welcome, my beloved citizens of Sakaar,
to the climatic final battle!
Two Hulks enter.
One Hulk leaves.
Shock me all you want, but we're not fighting.
Very well. I'll just shock her instead.
(screams)
Now, fight, or She-Hulk will be the first to fall!
(She-Hulk groans)
You caged me like an animal, Hulk.
From the moment you locked that cell,
I planned my revenge.
It all comes down to this moment.
You tried to take over the planet.
Three meals a day and a cell was more than you deserved
for the pain you caused.
Speaking of pain.
-(groans) -The Leader: Get on with the show!
Skaar let hulk win to save She-Hulk.
No, we can find a way...
No other way!
Skaar force hulk to fight!
(crowd cheers)
I don't suppose you guys
have an intergalactic airport around here, huh?
Teleporter? Wormhole? Magic phone booth?
There's one craft.
It belongs to emperor leader.
Yeah, we'll be hijacking that.
(crowd cheers overhead)
Arena must be right above us.
Shake a leg, Jones!
Hit Skaar!
What you waiting for? Come on!
Yes, Hulk. Fight back.
Let the beast loose and destroy your friend!
Thank you.
Skaar make sacrifice to save friends!
Hulk must win!
(crowd cheers)
You win them, we all win.
(Skaar grunts)
The Leader: Will you finish him!
No!
(crowd gasps)
Skaar sorry for all the bad Skaar did.
Boring.
(screams)
Skaar should have fought back harder.
Skaar not make mistake again.
Skaar fight for people.
-(crowd murmurs) -woman: He's protecting us.
man: He defies the leader?
(straining)
Let him go!
Don't tell me this neanderthal's sob story got to you.
I elevated you from slime!
You squalid half-wits owe me everything!
(all groan)
Guess I'll have to start all over again.
With Earth.
She-hulk: Got you a wedding present, my king.
(screaming)
Your public awaits.
(screaming)
(crowd clamors)
People will always see the truth eventually.
And you will never see the obvious.
I'm always a step ahead!
My ship is the only way off this planet,
So even if you live, you'll still perish here in the end!
(grunts) No talk. Time for smash!
(zaps)
Impossible!
The Leader: Fall, you brute!
What he said!
No! No! No!
Hulk: Sakaar is free from you.
The Leader: You want my practice planet?
Keep it.
I've got all I need to take over the Earth.
Change of flight plan.
A-Bomb: Each passenger only gets one carry-on, mountain head.
So you are gonna have to check these.
A-Bombs away!
Whoa... Aah!
Not... Through... Yet!
On three?
Three.
Aah!
(crowd cheering)
I don't often admit this,
but I was wrong.
No matter how bad it looks,
You can always turn it around.
Maybe earth will see us as heroes again.
One day.
Kaifi: Thank you, Skaar and friends.
You have liberated us all.
We're done answering to a single leader.
This time, we rule as one.
Where'd he go? Leader?
There's nowhere on this planet he can hide from us.
We will find Leader,
and make him pay for
his crimes! (crowd cheers)
You know, he's probably worse off here than on earth.
And I'm okay with that.
A-Bomb: Can we get a move on?
We have some serious work to do back home, remember?
The whole "getting framed for wrecking our town" thing?
Fine. But I don't like it.
You better keep in touch. Just in case.
Red Hulk: Ready to head home?
Leader's got this thing's coordinates set for Earth.
-Skaar: Home! -A-Bomb: Oh, yeah.
She-Hulk: Yes, please.
Correction.
It was set for Earth.
Red Hulk: Hitch up your drawers, Hulkies.
We're outta here!
A-Bomb: Oh, I can taste the gamma burgers already.
Hulk: They're on me.
And we'll be home just in time for dinner.
Hulk: Whoa. What was that?
(beeping)
Uh-oh, navigation system just went south.
Then that means
we're lost in space.
Don't worry. We'll get home somehow.
No, we won't! We're lost in space!
A-Bomb: Danger! Danger! Danger!
Danger! Danger! Danger...
Hulk out.
(closing theme music)