(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
(BANGING ON DOOR)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(BANGING CONTINUES)
Ha ha! There's a quacky birthday song for you, little Braydon.
-Uh... - ♪ Quack, quack, quack-ety, birthday to you
♪ It's a quack, quack, quack-ety rainy night too
♪ And because there's such a quack, quacky chill
♪ Your parents will quack when they get my duck bill
♪ I tell you, Braydon, I wish I stayed inside ♪
(GRUNTS)
This isn't 682 Delgado Avenue, is it?
Uh, no, Delgado Road.
Oh! For crying out loud.
Do you mind if I get out of the rain and make a call?
Be my guest.
(DIAL TONE SOUNDING)
MAN: (ON PHONE) Hello, Party Rentals.
-Yeah, Marisse, I am in the wrong place. -MARISSE: What?
I managed to find the only house in America without a kid named Braydon in it.
-No way! -(DOOR CREAKING)
Hello?
What's the kid's name who lives there?
Hang on, Marisse.
You can sing for some other kid, right?
Hello?
-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) -(SCREAMING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
SCOOBY-DOO: Scooby-Dooby-Doo!
(MIMICS CAWING)
Like, with this, we can rule the world!
Was that our goal?
Well, no. I wanted a Sloppy Joe.
But if you ruled the world, you could probably get all the Sloppy Joes you want!
(GROWLING)
-(BOTH SCREAM) -Now!
(GROWLING)
Huh?
-(GRUNTING) -(YELLING)
-The rope's stuck! -Should I throw my shoe at it?
-That won't work. -Well, the shoe is off.
I should throw it at something.
Forget the shoe. Hang on, guys!
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
Huh, huh?
(YELLING) Shoe!
(GRUNTING)
Are you guys okay?
(SCREAMING)
SHAGGY: Like, that's it!
We quit!
No more monsters, mayhem, mysteries or any other M words.
You ruined M.
Come on, guys. You can't quit the gang.
It's the gang. As in, "The Gang," also the "Gang"?
Yeah, don't you see? It's us.
We're all us. Without you, we're not "us"!
Agreed. Helping people by solving mysteries is just an added benefit.
What's important is we're best friends out seeing the world together.
I'm sorry, gang. But our minds are made up.
We're useless when it comes to mysteries anyway.
The fourth and fifth wheels.
Anybody can do what we do.
-And to prove that... -We found replacements.
-How's it going? -(BARKS)
-Ahhh! -Whoa!
Gang, meet Morley and Bumpy.
-And vice versa. -Where did they come from?
-Who cares? -Yeah.
The point is we'll personally teach our specific mystery-solving roles
-such as they are, to Bumpy and Morley. -And vice versa.
And have them ready to go in one, on-the-job training session.
Wow, I can't believe you guys are really serious.
This is so depressing.
It seemed like such a happy learn-the-slide-trombone day.
But now I am not feeling very trombone-y.
(PLAYS SOMBERLY)
Man, quiet little town.
What do you guys do for excitement around here?
-(GROWLS) -Ahhh!
-(ALL SCREAMING) -Hang on!
(SCREAMING)
Velma, Fred, duck!
(GROWLS)
(NOTES SOUNDING)
(GRUNTS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
What was that?
(THUNDER CRACKING)
Huh. Who would have thought this town had a terrifying, old, abandoned castle.
There's always been rumors it really isn't abandoned.
That a vampire lives here. I never believed it before.
(DOG WHINING)
Wow. A classic vampire in a creepy castle mystery.
You guys are in for a real treat.
(ALL GASPING)
Hi, kiddos! I'm Sheriff Boon.
How you doing tonight?
-Um, hi! -Aren't you chilly?
-(SHRIEKS) -I'm chilly.
Yeah. It's wet and cold. But it's a dry-wet.
Now, what on Earth are you doing up here?
We've gotten reports that people have gone missing. Like, poof!
I know I'd rather be in bed drinking chamomile tea
than patrolling around this awful place.
(CHUCKLES) I heard that!
It's been suggested a vampire lives here.
Honey, it's a dangerous enough world.
We don't need to be making up boogity men on top of it.
Only person who lives here is Paco, the caretaker.
He's a couple of orange trees short of a grove,
but he's No-sferatu. See what I did there?
Now, I don't see any funny business here.
But to be safe, you little munchkins should go on home
and binge watch your favorite shows.
I know I am. Ciao.
(ENGINE REVVING)
Well, your training is complete.
You'll get a certificate in the mail within the next five business days.
-Good luck! -It's been an honor.
Wait! We still don't know how you guys solve mysteries.
Like, this is our main job.
Classic first step of the hero's journey.
Refuse the call to adventure.
BOTH: Fine!
Uh, may I help you?
Paco, right? We're investigating a local mystery.
Would you mind if we came in?
Be my guest.
-(DOOR SLAMS) -(ALL SHRIEKING)
This way, please.
VELMA: Have you noticed anything out-of-the-ordinary around here?
No.
Actually, have you noticed anything that would fit right in around here?
Specifically, a vampire?
Mr... I mean, a vampire?
That's ridiculous.
Please wait in here. May I offer you refreshments?
I make a mean Bundt cake.
Uh, no, thanks. I...
Bundt cake? Yeah!
Like, tricks of the trade. The more horrifying the environment,
-the better the food. -We live counter-intuitively.
(DOOR CREAKING)
(ALL GASPING)
So, like, this is where I normally say,
-"Zoinks!" -I whimper and tremble.
What does "Zoinks" mean? Is it a code for a secret maneuver or something?
-Jinkies, Morley. -How?
They haven't taught us to do 'Jinkies' yet.
Is it like a shoulder roll?
Relax, guys.
Let's not jump to any conclusions.
(QUIVERING) It's just an old, ornate Eastern European coffin
in the middle of a ceremonial chamber in a creepy, old castle.
(SIGHING IN RELIEF)
Hmm. We should ask Paco why there is a... (GRUNTS) Oh.
-(GROWLS) -(EXCLAIMS IN FEAR)
Like, this part is very technical. Run!
-(SCREAMING) -(GROWLS)
(CONTINUOUS SCREAMING)
-Split up! -(GROWLING)
-He's following us!
-Get used to it. -(SCREAMS)
We're trapped! Find weapons!
SHAGGY: Put that down.
-Amateur. -In these situations, this is your best weapon.
-There's a quiz afterwards. -(DOOR BANGS)
(SHRIEKS)
(GRUNTS)
(DOOR BANGS)
(GRUNTS)
(GROWLING)
Like, if you're going to hunt someone down
to satisfy your unholy bloodthirst,
at least have the courtesy of being punctual.
The nerve!
-Guys, what are you doing? -A little demonstration,
for which we will need your much-appreciated participation.
-You be the monster. -Good call.
-Huh? -Okay, so you're chased into a room,
with no exit, certain doom, blah, blah, blah.
-What do you do? -Well, I, uh...
-Switch to offense. -The other defense.
Now, your monster is expecting to find his victims, cowering, trembling, hiding.
Begging for their lives.
A personal favorite.
But what if he instead, finds this?
(PLAYING MUSIC)
Hello and welcome to the Obvious Ruse lounge.
I'm Benny Pencilton,
and with me, as always, is the lovely Clara Bethabell.
Just Clara Bethabell.
So, it's request time.
Hello, tall, dark and fitted.
What song is in your still, black heart tonight?
(GROWLS)
Ah, yes. (MIMICS GROWL)
A classic. Timeless and unpronounceable.
And hold! See? The power of positive assertion.
He's putty in your hands.
So, if you can get him to do what you want,
why not convince him to go away forever or surrender or something?
(GROWLING)
-(GROWLS MORE MENACINGLY) -(WHIMPERS)
(LAUGHS) "Go away forever.
-"Surrender." (LAUGHS) You buying that? -Mmm-mmm.
-Rookie mistake. -Okay. Let's try it again.
But this time, we'll do running in
with the monster already inside the room.
We'll come back and you just do your roar-y, hissy thing. Cool?
(GROWLS)
-(SCREAMING) -Are you guys okay?
I guess. But shouldn't we call the National Guard or something?
I mean, vampires?
And I can't sing and Bumpy can't fill out an evening gown.
(WHIMPERS)
Hey guys? I think I found a clue.
I wonder who this stuff belongs to.
His victims.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Like, analyzing clues isn't our job.
Remember the three F's.
We do fear and food.
They do flashlights.
But it makes sense.
A vampire would hide his victims' possessions
so no one would catch on to his activities.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
So then, where is he hiding the victims?
Vampires turn their victims into more vampires, right?
They say some people have been so scared
by strange figures creeping outside their homes,
that they supposedly left town without even taking their belongings.
But what if they never actually
(ECHOING) left?
-(WHIMPERING) -(ALL GASP)
Hi, kiddos.
Oh, Sheriff Boon.
I saw your adorable van was still here.
I got all worried wiggly
something terrible happened to you munchkins.
I'm glad you're here.
We found proof that there's something sinister going on in this castle.
It was right here!
A bag filled with money and jewelry!
From the vampire's victims.
Sorry, kiddos. I know you're just trying to be good helpers
but I just don't see anything here that makes my badge tingle.
-Well, I'm off like bad milk. Toodles, Paco! -Later.
Maybe the vampire took it.
He already has immortal, blood-sucking fiend on his rap sheet.
Why not tampering with evidence?
I've been caretaker here for a year
and I've never seen any bags of money.
You've only worked here a year?
What happened to the previous caretaker?
You mean old man Oldman?
He was scared off.
He went up to the tower attic and saw something so terrifying,
he swore never to step foot in this town again.
-(SHIVERING) -(WHIMPERING)
Uh, so, what did he see?
Oh, wow, that's funny.
I forget to ask. (CHUCKLES)
You think that would have been my first question. Oh, well!
Okay. Let's check out this tower attic.
Like, no way. You saw what happened to us on our last mystery.
Scoob and I got our butts handed to us.
Gift wrapped!
My butt! Thank you.
It's okay, Shaggy.
I see now why you two don't think you're cut out for this stuff.
If you want to take off, it's cool.
-Bumpy and I got this. -(BOTH GRUNT)
Oh, well,
good then.
Yes, um, good.
So, we're just, uh,
we're just gonna go.
-It seems you are. -Rip the band-aid off.
(SIGHS) I can't believe Shaggy and Scooby are really gone.
Well, it's not as if they were legally bound to solve mysteries with us.
No, they wouldn't sign the contract.
The tower attic.
Bumpy and I will go first.
You gotta admit. Having two team members that are too scared
to actually do anything isn't very helpful.
Watch.
(ALL GASP)
I think we found the victims.
I highly recommend not waking them up.
-(WHISPERING) What do we do? -Follow our lead.
(GROWLS)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SCREAMS)
(GROWLS)
(MORLEY SCREAMING)
(ALL GASP)
That went well.
I can't believe this.
We completely blew it.
We just let Shaggy and Scooby go
and we got poor Morley and Bumpy turned into vampires.
Nothing about this mystery makes sense.
Wait a second, guys.
Don't you see?
I got nothing.
Maybe this is it.
We had a good run.
The five of us driving around solving mysteries for,
well, it seems like forever.
Yeah. It had to stop at some point, right?
I can't picture us still doing this in 47 years.
Like, am I actually hearing what I'm hearing?
-Guys! -You're giving up?
You guys?
Scooby and I lived in complete terror
and hunger, dreading every single moment of every single mystery
we've ever been on!
And did we ever quit?
-Yes. -Oh, right.
Well, we un-quit.
Yeah. Scoob and I, were going to leave.
-But you're our ride. -Well, there is that.
But see, we quit because we thought we were totally useless to you guys.
When in fact, we may be the most important members of this gang.
Let's not get hysterical.
Think about it. We are the counterbalance
to Gung ho, Mind-Over-Brains, and Trombone-y.
-Hey! -(GIGGLES) Trombone-y.
Without our fear and cowardice,
without us begging, pleading to not go into scary places,
they may forget that you should be scared of scary places.
So, no one's giving up.
We are a team.
And it's our job to stop that vampire so he never robs another person
of their lives again.
Wait, Shaggy, that's it.
That's the missing piece.
You're right, Velma, and so are you, Shaggy.
Scooby, you're with Shaggy. So, I guess you're right too.
Daphne, you haven't really offered anything to be right or wrong about.
-No offense. -None taken.
Like, it's time to catch a vampire.
And Fred has a plan!
Uh... I'm assuming.
Like, boy. Can't wait to destroy an entire nest of vampires.
Yeah. Like, living the dream.
(WHIMPERING)
Like, hey! You guys aren't undead.
That's a double negative.
No. A double negative would be, "You guys aren't not undead."
(MUFFLED SPEAKING)
That's a triple negative.
You're counting undead as a negative?
-(SCREAMS) -(GASPS)
(GROWLS)
Morley, no! Wait.
(SCREAMING)
Okay, here they come.
Wait. Now!
-(SCREAMS) -(HOWLS)
-Not again! -(SCREAMING)
(GROWLS)
(SCREAMING)
(GROWLS)
-(GROWLS) -Hmm?
(PLAYING OMINOUS MUSIC)
-(CONTINUES GROWLING) -Now!
POLICEMAN: Great work, kids.
Now, let me end this abomination.
-(SCREAMING) -No!
Actually, it's not a real vampire.
(ALL TOGETHER) Sheriff Boon?
Sheriff Boon? I'm shocked.
Bundt cake anyone?
Nice try, Paco!
You were in on this too.
And not even really good Bundt cake will get you out of it.
Everyone in town knew about the legend of the vampire in the castle.
VELMA: Sheriff Boon and Paco decided to use the legend to rob this town blind.
It began a year ago when Boon disguised himself as the vampire
to scare off the castle's caretaker, old man Oldman.
(GROWLS)
Boon installed Paco as the new caretaker
and made prey on anyone who came near the castle.
FRED: As rumor of the vampire spread,
it became easy to frighten people from their homes,
which the two thieves then would rob.
VELMA: At first, we thought the duffel bag of loot was from the vampire's victims.
But the disappearance of the bag when Boon showed up was no coincidence.
Paco would give Boon small amounts of their loot at a time to fence.
As Sheriff, he knew every crook in town.
They were making a fortune.
FRED: We realized the information about missing people was coming from Boon.
The truth is, there weren't any people who were turned into vampires.
That's why Paco started the rumor about the tower attic.
We thought this was where the missing victims of the vampire were hidden.
But it turns out...
-That's a lot of gold. -My goodness!
DAPHNE: Who travels with gold?
This is where they kept everything they stole.
And I would have gotten away with it.
Actually, I can't stay mad at my little, meddling munchkins.
-Aw. -So, you guys are really staying?
Of course! Like, I don't know what we were thinking
besides rationally and practically.
Never again.
Yeah. I realized that it was Morley and Bumpy's idea
about the bag belonging to the vampire's victims
that sent us off in the wrong direction.
Your guys' complete disinterest in actually solving mysteries
must have saved us countless times.
-Thank you. -It's been our pleasure.
Oh, great. Just sign here.
Initial there and there.
Let's never not be us again.
Speaking of which, where are Morley and Bumpy?
Like, maybe they felt bad about messing up and just decided to take off.
Ha! Oh, well.
-Um, hello? -(WHIMPERING)