[THUNDER]
[DRILL WHIRRING]
[ELECTRIC SAW BUZZING]
- IT'S ALIVE!
[THUNDER]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
- [GASPS]
- THAT BETTER NOT BE POO.
- HA HA HA HA HA!
THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO VOTE FOR NADER!
HA HA HA HA--HUH?
WHAT THE HELL?
- I GOT LAID! I GOT LAID!
- WHAT CAN I SAY? NERDS ARE HOT.
- GONNA TELL THE INTERNET. LAID! LAID! LAID!
L-A-Y-E-D! LAID, LAID, LAID, LAID, LAID, LAID, LAID, LAID!
- MMM. HOT.
- SIMON SAYS... GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC.
- YAY!
- YOU KNOW, MOVIE PRODUCER DEAN DEVLIN,
I ALWAYS FELT BAD ABOUT SCREWING MILLIONS OF MOVIEGOERS
OUT OF THEIR HARD-EARNED MONEY
WITH THAT STEAMING PILE OF CRAP WE MADE CALLED "GODZILLA."
- I KNOW, ROLAND EMMERICH. WE SHOULD TOTALLY REMAKE IT.
- A REMAKE OF A REMAKE?
- BRILLIANT!
- THE EGGS ARE HATCHING!
RUN! RUN! - [GROWLING]
- AAH!
- [GROWLING]
[SCREECHING]
- WHEW.
[GASPS] - [GROWLING]
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC STOPS] - WE GAVE YOU JERKS $150 MILLION TO REMAKE "GODZILLA"
AND YOU GAVE US A STEAMING PILE OF CRAP!
AGAIN!
- YES!
- THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR
IS FEAR ITSELF.
- AND SPIDERS.
- WELL, YES, AND SPIDERS. THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING.
- AND SNAKES.
- YES, SNAKES, TOO.
- AND DON'T FORGET WEREWOLVES.
- THERE IS NO SUCH THING. - [ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
- OOH! YEAH! FUN! YEAH! AHAAA!
AAAAH!
- [LAUGHTER]
- [INDISTINCT]
[SOBBING]
- [RETCHING]
- [LAUGHTER]
- [CHATTERING]
[SLURPING]
- THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS. WE'VE GOT A WHOLE LOT OF
2005 VEHICLES THAT MUST BE SOLD,
THANKS TO CRAZY DAVY'S CHAPTER 11 DEBT RESTRUCTURING.
[HORN HONKING]
YUP, THERE GO MY WIFE AND KIDS. I WON'T BE SEEING THEM AGAIN.
CRAZY DAVY'S CIRCLING THE BOWL, FOLKS.
HELL, JUST BEND CRAZY DAVY OVER THE HOOD OF THIS FINE LUXURY SEDAN
AND CORNHOLE HIM TILL YOU'RE SATISFIED.
AND AS A SPECIAL BONUS, IF YOU FIND MY BRAINS ON YOUR WINDSHIELD,
YOU CAN HAVE MY DOG!
WELL, BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.
- OK, SO THE ONLY THINGS WE HAVE TO FEAR
ARE SPIDERS, SNAKES, WEREWOLVES, SHARKS, DYING ALONE,
ZOMBIES, CLOWNS, HEIGHTS, BIG DOGS, ROBOTS WITH HUMAN BRAINS,
JOHNSON'S WIFE, AND FEAR ITSELF.
- [ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
- MAN, MY LIFE SUCKS.
I HATE WORKING AT THE STUPID ARCHERY RANGE.
OH, WHAT--WHERE AM I?
- YOU'RE IN PURGATORY, DOUG.
SPIN THE WHEEL OF REINCARNATION.
- OH, BOY. I HOPE I LAND ON KEIRA KNIGHTLEY'S UNDERWEAR.
- [SIGHS] EVERYONE WISHES FOR THAT ONE.
- HUGGYTIME BEAR?
WHERE AM I?
HOLY [BLEEP] ASS CRACKERS!
- WELCOME! WE'RE THE HUGGYTIME BEARS,
AND WE SHALL CALL YOU DOUG-A-LOT BEAR.
- WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS A HUGGYTIME BEAR?
- WE SPREAD PEACE AND LOVE WITH OUR SPECIAL POWERS. - [LAUGHS]
- AH...[BLEEP]
- LET'S GO SPREAD JOY TO CHILDREN!
- OH, MAN, I WISH I LANDED ON KEIRA KNIGHTLEY'S UNDERWEAR.
- UH, PLEASE DON'T MENTION THAT AROUND THE CHILDREN.
- I FEEL SAD.
- YEAH, BUT AT LEAST WE'RE NOT GAY.
- MAYBE WE CAN HELP!
- THE HUGGYTIME BEARS!
- GET READY FOR SOME FUN AND LOVE, EVERY--AAH!
[SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY]
- WHAT? HIS NAME WAS SHAMROCK BEAR.
HE WAS OBVIOUSLY IRISH AND, THEREFORE, DRUNK.
AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?
- THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE.
- BRING OUT THE GIMP!
- NO, DOOON'T!
NO! - OH, MY GOSH, I'VE SHOT YOU.
- KEIRA KNIGHTLEY?
- SHH. DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING.
THE PARAMEDICS WILL BE HERE SOON.
- HA HA.
I WAS ALMOST YOUR UNDERWEAR, YOU KNOW.
- HA HA, JERKASS.
- I GOT YOU, TIMMY.
- I--I CAN'T FEEL MY ARMS AND LEGS.
- PREVIOUSLY ON "BIG BROTHER,"
A PRACTICAL JOKE WAR RESULTED IN HURT FEELINGS.
- OH!
- GHOSTFACE'S LAUNDRY DEBACLE
EARNED HIM THE WRATH OF FREDDY.
- AW, WHERE THE HELL'S MY SWEATER?
- CHILL OUT. IT'S IN THE DRYER.
- YOU FOOL! THE LABEL CLEARLY SAYS PERMANENT PRESS.
- [LAUGHS]
- IT SAYS, WHOEVER REACHES THE KITTEN FIRST
WILL WIN THE GOLDEN POWER OF VITO.
[CHAINSAW WHIRRING]
- COMPETITION WAS FIERCE,
BUT IT WAS LEATHERFACE WHO STOOD VICTORIOUS.
AS A RESULT, IT WAS MICHAEL AND GHOSTFACE
WHO FOUND THEMSELVES ON THE BLOCK.
- OHH!
- WHO WILL BE EVICTED? FIND OUT LIVE, TONIGHT.
- IF GHOSTFACE GOT VOTED OUT, TAKE IT FROM FREDDY:
THAT WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE.
[LAUGHS] YOU GET IT?
[LAUGHS] A DREAM?
[LAUGHS] I KILL PEOPLE IN THEIR NIGHTMARES, MAN.
THAT'S WHAT I DO. IT'S MY THING.
- LAST WEEK, AMERICA VOTED ONLINE
TO DECIDE WHICH HOUSEGUEST WOULD GET TO CALL HOME
ON A T-MOBILE CELL PHONE.
TONIGHT, WE HAVE THE RESULTS.
AND THE WINNER IS...GHOSTFACE!
- AMERICA MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE,
GIVING THE CALL TO GHOSTFACE.
OF COURSE, I WOULD'VE CALLED MY MUM.
TODAY'S HER BIRTHDAY. I LOVE YOU, MUM.
[TELEPHONE RINGING] - HELLO?
- I SEE YOU MAKING POPCORN.
- [GASPS] WHO IS THIS? - I SAW THE "CHARLIE'S ANGELS" SEQUEL.
THAT WAS A PIECE OF CRAP! HA HA! - I'M HANGING UP!
- FIGHTING BOREDOM IS THE HARDEST PART
OF LIVING IN THE "BIG BROTHER" HOUSE.
- IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING,
THE ANSWER WAS "THE DA VINCI CODE."
- IT'S TIME TO DECIDE WHICH HOUSEGUEST GETS EVICTED.
MICHAEL, GHOSTFACE, YOU MAY NOW PLEAD YOUR CASE.
- YOU KNOW, I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP IT REAL,
AND I WILL TREASURE THE FRIENDSHIPS I HAVE MADE IN THIS HOUSE
MY WHOLE LIFE.
BUT IF IT'S MY TIME TO GO, HEY, NO HARD FEELINGS. I--
- YOUR TURN, MICHAEL.
- STOP THAT. STOP IT!
- THE VOTES HAVE BEEN CAST,
AND THE NEXT HOUSEGUEST EVICTED FROM "BIG BROTHER" IS...MICHAEL.
MICHAEL MYERS. THEY JUST KICKED YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
- I FEEL RANDY, BABY, YEAH!
WAYNE'S WORLD! PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT! - OH! OW! OW!
STOP STABBING ME! OW!
[CLUCKING]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
- BOCK. [ENGINE RUNNING]
[MONKEY CHATTERING]