1 00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:05,972 ♪♪ 2 00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:08,274 [ Laughs ] 3 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:13,346 ♪♪ 4 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:18,418 ♪♪ 5 00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:20,920 Man: It's alive! 6 00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:22,021 [ Robot chicken clucks ] 7 00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:28,528 ♪♪ 8 00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,697 Huhnmorder: [ Laughing evilly ] 9 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,801 ♪♪ 10 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,903 [ Cackles ] 11 00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:40,740 This is the worst case of TMJ I've ever seen. 12 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,477 [ British accent ] So, what went wrong, Peppa? 13 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,678 [ British accent ] What went wrong? 14 00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:49,315 Every single fucking thing! 15 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,650 Singer: ♪ All right ♪ 16 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,986 Peppa: I'm a cartoon pig whose whole purpose in life 17 00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:55,488 is to make mistakes so kids learn from 'em. 18 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,425 Mistake number one -- splashing around in a puddle 19 00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:01,728 without first checking me surroundings. 20 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,831 You dickies soiled me monkey! 21 00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:06,299 [ Gasps ] Oh! 22 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:07,801 Get me a new one by tomorrow, 23 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:10,103 or it's your loaf of bread, pig. 24 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,138 There, there, Peppa. [ Bleats ] 25 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:14,774 I got a gapin' head wound, ya nit! 26 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,643 [ Gasps ] Get off my knee! 27 00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:18,211 Peppa! Peppa: Only one place 28 00:01:18,277 --> 00:01:21,848 that sells that monkey -- Tony Turtle's Toy Store. 29 00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,616 £5? 30 00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:25,351 We haven't got that kind of sausage and mash. 31 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,753 If there's one thing I've learned 32 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,588 as a didactic TV pig, 33 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,256 it's that if we work together, 34 00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:32,325 we can accomplish anything -- 35 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:33,626 even armed robbery! 36 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:34,994 "Armed robbery"?! 37 00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:37,330 But, Peppa, that's ba-a-a-ad! 38 00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:38,965 I won't be part of it. 39 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,467 You're a bloody sheep! 40 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,602 You'll do whatever I say. Okay. 41 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,971 Now, come on. Let's put a crew together. 42 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:50,676 ♪♪ 43 00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:56,348 ♪♪ 44 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:58,283 Ah, I got it. [ Sobbing ] 45 00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:03,523 ♪♪ 46 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:07,360 Peppa: Unfortunately, I still had one lesson to learn -- 47 00:02:07,426 --> 00:02:10,163 piggies always squeal. [ Sobbing ] 48 00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:12,599 Daddy, Peppa committed an armed robbery. 49 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,033 Armed robbery, eh? 50 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,368 Well, Daddy, Pig might be clumsy 51 00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:17,237 and fat and forgetful, but he knows how 52 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,038 to call the police on naughty piglets. 53 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,407 Now, what's the number for British 911? 54 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,742 Sorry, Daddy. 55 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,944 They ain't puttin' Peppa in a pig pen. 56 00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:26,946 [ Both squealing ] 57 00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,348 One gunshot, two gunshot! 58 00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:29,849 [ Both grunting ] 59 00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:32,519 ♪♪ 60 00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:35,822 Right, this was all over a stuffed monkey, then. 61 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,223 Hmm. 62 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,925 When you put it that way, 63 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,127 I sound a bit of a wanker. 64 00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,829 Kids, don't be a wanker. 65 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,798 ♪♪ 66 00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:48,567 Looking fresh -- to death! [ Shrieks ] 67 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:50,136 Ugh! Your face! 68 00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:52,138 What do you wash with, bar soap?! 69 00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:54,007 Doesn't everybody? Girl, please. 70 00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,108 You're peeling. 71 00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:56,843 I was burned alive in a boiler room! 72 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:57,844 Same difference. 73 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,412 Lucky you, all I watch 74 00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:01,147 are YouTube makeup tutorials! 75 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,182 Narrative content is dead. 76 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,752 It's an easy 27½-step process. 77 00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:09,122 Exfoliate, moisturize, rinse, repeat, tap. 78 00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:10,757 Don't rub -- that's the secret. 79 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:13,259 ♪ Exfoliate, moisturize, rinse, repeat ♪ This is torture! 80 00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:14,394 ♪ Tap, don't rub, that's the -- ♪ 81 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:15,695 Beauty is pain! 82 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,232 So, what do you think? 83 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:20,833 Well, I'm terrified -- 84 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,936 by how good I look. 85 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:24,871 Right?! We had so much fun! 86 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,507 It's really a shame I'm going to kill you now. 87 00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:30,643 Or we could do face masks! 88 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,779 [ Sighs ] Okay, first the face masks, 89 00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:34,414 and then I'm gonna kill you. 90 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,417 Male Alien: Um, Captain, the trash alien is attacking, 91 00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,452 and I think there's something wrong with the weapons. 92 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:41,921 Captain: Your guns are locked until you solve each math problem! 93 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,723 But, sir, I-I could die. 94 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:46,559 We believe a life without math is not worth living! 95 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,194 Zero plus seven is seven. 96 00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:50,763 Uh, two minus one equals one. 97 00:03:50,829 --> 00:03:52,765 Three minus eight equals five. 98 00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:54,734 I-I-I mean -- I mean, negative five! 99 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,903 -Oh no, your ship is damaged! 100 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,838 You'd better fix it -- with math! 101 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,306 What?! Okay, it's, uh -- 102 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,375 Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally. 103 00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:05,278 Fuck! Why didn't I take that English job in Typing Town?! 104 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,846 [ Kaboom! ] 105 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,181 Ooh-ooh-ooh! 106 00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:10,216 Ah-ah-ah-ah. [ Gasps ] 107 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,086 Ah! Ah! 108 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:15,054 Ah! [ Gasps ] 109 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:16,389 Augh! Ah-ah-ah! 110 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,423 Ah-ah-ah-ah! 111 00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,459 George, you all right in there? 112 00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:21,861 It's time for dinner! 113 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:22,895 [ Hooting ] 114 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,099 Oh, my God, George! 115 00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:27,700 ♪♪ 116 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:28,768 [ Hooting frantically ] 117 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:33,806 Headshot! George! 118 00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:36,643 No! Huh?! It had to be done. 119 00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,745 He was getting too close to the Avril Lavigne theory 120 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:39,779 for his own good. 121 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:42,048 Operation "Sk8er Boi" is complete. 122 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,582 We'll need you to sign this NDA. 123 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,551 Oh, okay. 124 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,754 Maybe adopt a real kid next time. 125 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,222 Window exit! 126 00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:51,224 [ Crying ] Oh, George, why? 127 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,625 What's this? 128 00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:56,195 "Rory should have ended up with Dean on 'Gilmore Girls'?" 129 00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:57,497 Fucking Dean?! 130 00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:58,831 [ Crying ] Oh, George! 131 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:02,301 I raised you better than this. [ Sobs ] 132 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,070 Mr. President, let me just say 133 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,139 we are so excited to be working with you 134 00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:07,740 to make socially conscious content. 135 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:10,143 We were thinking maybe a documentary about health care. 136 00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,679 Or a prestige drama about a family 137 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:14,013 on the south side of Chicago. 138 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,948 Um, I had something else in mind. 139 00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:18,151 [ Roars ] 140 00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:21,421 [ Machine-gun fire ] 141 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,256 And let me be clear -- 142 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:25,558 Ah, no, thanks. 143 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:28,161 ♪ "Barack Obama: Dino Destroyer" ♪ 144 00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:29,762 Boom, baby. Why you taking a nap? 145 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:30,997 Gotcha, bitch. 146 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,498 That's what I do. ♪ He rides a raptor ♪ 147 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,200 All day. ♪ And his raptor's name is Paul ♪ 148 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:35,468 ♪ Michelle's in it too ♪ 149 00:05:35,534 --> 00:05:38,638 That's right, baby. [ Gunshots ] 150 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:43,609 Oh, Barack, you know I love watching you kill those dinos! 151 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,611 Ah, put those two lips on me. 152 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,447 [ Roars ] 153 00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,349 Coming soon to Netflix. Pa-pow-pow! Bam! 154 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:51,951 Barack in your face, baby. 155 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:56,022 Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary! 156 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,057 [ Cackling ] 157 00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,926 Bloody Mary! 158 00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:01,928 Bloody Mary, hi. You've been served. 159 00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:03,296 Oh. Sorry about your divorce. 160 00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:05,298 Ha ha! Believe me, I'm not. 161 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:07,133 Bloody Dan is a piece of shit, 162 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,068 and I've gone on record about it. 163 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,204 Who goes there? 164 00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:15,374 I smell you, little thief in the shadows. 165 00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:17,677 I'm sorry, great and powerful Smaug. 166 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,446 You must be very small, little thief, 167 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:23,750 so small that you could hide anywhere -- 168 00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:26,719 behind the gold, behind the gems, 169 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:30,389 maybe even up my butt, perhaps. 170 00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:33,058 Uh, w-why would I hide up your butt? 171 00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,428 When one sleeps beneath the mountain, 172 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,764 one thinks of many things -- 173 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:41,901 the value of gold, the age of the world, 174 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:45,071 the feel of little feet and hands 175 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,473 pitter-pattering inside this scaly folds 176 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,609 of your fiery prostate. 177 00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:52,044 L-Look, I just came here to steal some gold. 178 00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:54,213 I'm not trying to Richard Gere you. 179 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,149 What? That was an urban legend. 180 00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:58,251 Let's leave Richard out of this. 181 00:06:58,317 --> 00:06:59,519 You know, for an adventurer, 182 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:01,621 you really don't seem very adventurous. 183 00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,055 Okay, I'm just gonna go. 184 00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:04,490 Or I could go up your butt. 185 00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:07,393 Hmm, um, leaving instead. 186 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:10,963 Someday, Smaug, someday. 187 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:12,231 ♪♪ 188 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:13,666 My name is Tom Nook. 189 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,803 The year I turned 19 I made 49 trillion bells, 190 00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:18,738 which actually kind of pissed me off 191 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,706 because it was three shy of a trillion a week. 192 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,308 I started in sales. 193 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,744 My boys and I got a commission on anything we bought or sold, 194 00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:27,847 so we bought and sold everything. 195 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,715 We found an island in international waters 196 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,217 where the feds couldn't reach us. 197 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,586 Pretty soon I'd conned people into joining us. 198 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,121 Once they were there, they needed a house. 199 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,757 And who sold the houses? You got it -- me. 200 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:38,758 Real estate was easy. 201 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:39,992 Before they knew it, 202 00:07:40,058 --> 00:07:41,861 some sucker had paid two billion bells 203 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:44,697 for a five-room house full of clothes and Bunny Day eggs. 204 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:45,898 Can you imagine? 205 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,034 I was married, till I met Isabelle. 206 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,837 She was blond, gorgeous, irrationally chipper. 207 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:53,306 Plus I figured she'd like it doggy style [Chuckles] 208 00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:54,941 which...she did not. 209 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,609 I mean, we were into everything -- 210 00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:58,711 you know, repackaging subprime turnip debt, 211 00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,080 dealing counterfeit art through pirates, 212 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,582 smuggling endangered bugs. 213 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,450 Was it illegal? Nah. 214 00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:08,421 But if you want to get rich, you got to be an animal. 215 00:08:08,487 --> 00:08:10,389 Looks like Bethany got veneers. 216 00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:12,458 Oh, that lucky bitch. 217 00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:14,093 [ "Halloween"-type theme plays ] 218 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,963 ♪♪ 219 00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:19,465 Mama! Papa! My draft card came! 220 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:21,734 I'm going to Vietnam! 221 00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,536 Oh! Dear God! 222 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,404 Papa, we have to send him to Canada. 223 00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:26,505 Nonsense. 224 00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:29,508 Fievel, America has given us so much. 225 00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:33,578 Now it is time for you to return the favor in blood -- 226 00:08:33,645 --> 00:08:34,947 ideally, not yours. 227 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,216 But give those Viet cats hell, son. 228 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,184 [ Acid rock music plays ] 229 00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:44,857 ♪♪ 230 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,425 All: This is my "mouse-ket." 231 00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:49,262 There are many like it, but this one is mine. 232 00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:50,997 Why the hell are you crying, Mousekewitz? 233 00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:52,999 Sir! I just miss my family, sir! 234 00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:54,667 The Army's your family now, rodent! 235 00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,602 Now drop and give me 20! 236 00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:57,803 One... 237 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,338 I've seen cancer mice stronger than you! 238 00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:01,207 Hopefully we can defeat the enemy 239 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,608 so we can all go home soon. 240 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:05,378 Enemy? Look around, kid. There's no enemy. 241 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:06,879 America is the enemy. 242 00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:09,682 But America's a good country where there are no cats. 243 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,450 Then why the fuck are we out here? 244 00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:12,985 [ Down-tempo piano music plays ] 245 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:17,089 ♪ Someplace across the sea ♪ 246 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:20,493 ♪ Under the moon of cheese ♪ 247 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:21,594 Aah! 248 00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:24,030 You gave up our position, asshole! 249 00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:25,164 [ Machine-gun fire ] 250 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,934 Huh? No! 251 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,702 Aaah! 252 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:30,870 [ Sighs ] 253 00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:34,173 Well, I underestimated you, Mousekewitz. 254 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,274 You're a goddamn hero. 255 00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:38,044 But, sir, I killed all those cats. 256 00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,346 Son, you were born to kill cats. 257 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,515 ♪♪ 258 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:44,283 [ Imitating gunfire ] 259 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:45,584 [ Grunting ] 260 00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,920 [ Cackling ] Burn, baby! 261 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,256 You want a hit? It's catnip. 262 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,591 Makes ya...see things. 263 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:55,227 ♪♪ 264 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:57,663 America. America is the enemy. 265 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,699 Kill cats. Kill 'em! 266 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,267 I love watching you do it. 267 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:05,171 Hey, Fievel, I'm Don Bluth. I created you. Neat, huh? 268 00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,440 That's got to cause some existential conflict. 269 00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:08,441 Holy shit. 270 00:10:08,507 --> 00:10:10,076 Incoming! 271 00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,277 Ugh! 272 00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:14,447 Fievel's awake! 273 00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:16,048 My...legs. 274 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,685 Oh, who needs legs? We'll get you a skateboard. 275 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,253 You're a hero, son. 276 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,222 Where's Tanya? 277 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,757 [ Indistinct shouting ] 278 00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:25,791 Tanya? 279 00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,660 Kitty killer! 280 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:28,728 [ Spits ] 281 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,597 Come on, Fievel. Let's go home. 282 00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,433 I don't know if I ever can. 283 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,970 ♪ Some mice are born built to run the maze ♪ 284 00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:41,340 ♪ Others go crying home to mom ♪ 285 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:44,777 ♪ I lost my way in all those twists and turns ♪ 286 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,580 ♪ But I lost my dick in Vietnam ♪ 287 00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:51,550 ♪ American cheese, American cheese ♪ 288 00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:54,453 ♪ Might be made from old tires ♪ 289 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,557 ♪ American cheese, American cheese ♪ 290 00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:02,461 ♪ It never, ever expires ♪ 291 00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:04,597 Stoopid monkey.