>> HA HA HA!
[WHIRRING] [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] >> IT'S ALIVE!
>> HA HA HA!
>> CAN I PLAY?
>> WILL YOU GO TO HELL, YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE?
>> [CRYING] [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
>> BUENO. BUENO.
PERFECTO.
GRANDE. GRANDE.
>> EL PRESIDENTE, TENEMOS UNA SITUATION MUY SERIOSO.
UN HOMBRE IS SCORING VERY HIGH EN EL DANCE DANCE REVOLUCION.
>> DIOS MIO.
>> BUENO. PERFECTO.
>> SILENCIO.
I CHALLENGE YOUR REVOLUTION CON UNA DANCE DANCE
COUNTERREVOLUTION.
LET'S DO "321 BOOM: MEGA REMIX," BY DJ SASSYTOWN, FEATURING LADY
GODIVA.
[COINS DROP] [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
>> BUENO. BUENO.
>> BUENO. PERFECTO. PERFECTO.
>> MALO. MALO.
NO ES BUENO.
MALO. NO ES BUENO.
>> RGH!
>> ANTIBUENO.
>> MM MM MM MM.
[MEN CHEERING] HA HA HA!
TU ESTA BANDA PUDU.
HA HA HA!
>> THIS IS FOR MY CUBAN PEOPLE.
[PEOPLE CHEERING] [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
[PEOPLE GROAN] >> SI! SI!
YO SOY THE BEST DANCER DANCER IN EL MUNDO.
I HAVE QUELLED YOUR REVOLUTION, BUT I MUST SAY, YOUR BRAVERY IS
INSPIRING.
I HONOR AND RESPECT YOUR COURAGE AND CONVICTION.
I LOVE DOING THAT.
>> PRESIDENTE, UNA SENORA ES BEATING YOUR HIGH SCORE ON
DIG DUG.
>> GET ME SOME TOKENS.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE IF WE USED SOME TOYS.
>> OH, YEAH.
GONNA FINISH THE JOB.
I'M ABOUT TO TAME THAT ASS.
>> RRGH!
>> UH...UH...
UH-OH. OH.
I MUST'VE LOST HIM.
[TIRES SCREECH] >> BLAGH!
>> YOU KNOW, SINCE I'M OUT, I MIGHT AS WELL PICK UP SOME MILK.
[TIRES SQUEAL] >> BLAGH.
>> WAIT A SECOND.
I HAVE MILK AT HOME.
♪ LA LA LA LET'S HAVE SOME MILK
LA LA LA, MILK IS GOOD LA LA LA LA LA
GOING HOME TO HAVE SOME MILK YEAH, YEAH, GONNA DRINK MILK
HAVE SWEET DREAMS ♪ >> I'M SORRY MY POWERS SCREWED
YOUR LIFE UP AGAIN, MASTER.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
AAH! AAH! MASTER!
>> AND I WANT TO THANK MY COACH, WHO PUSHED ME HARD, AND MY
PARENTS AND SATAN--WHOO, SATAN-- AND MY GRANDMA, WHO COULDN'T BE
HERE TODAY.
[TRUMPET FANFARE] >> SO WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, DIRK,
THE MINIVAN OR THE SPORTS CAR?
[TRUMPET] HA HA! NICE CHOICE.
[TRUMPET] [TRUMPET]
[FANFARE]
[TRUMPET] [TRUMPET]
[FANFARE] >> SPARE SOME CHANGE?
>> I'M A VETERAN.
>> YO, MAN, LET ME CLEAN OUT YOUR WINDOWS FOR A DOLLAR.
>> HEY, BOOGIE BOOGIE, MY BRAIN IS AN ANTELOPE.
HAVE SOME MUSTARD BECAUSE IT'S EASTER IN YOUR FACE.
MY TOENAILS.
>> THE TEST RESULTS ARE IN.
IT'S RECTAL CANCER.
SO SHOULD WE GO WITH CHEMO OR HOLISTIC MEDICINE?
[BUZZ] >> HA HA HA!
>> BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.
>> YAY! FOREVER.
>> [SCREECH] >> OH, MY BALLS!
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BALLS?
WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS TO MY BALLS?
>> THIS SHOW IS SO CLEVER.
>> IT JUST HAPPENED SO FAST.
>> ALL RIGHT.
NOW JUST TAKE IT EASY.
>> THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC STOPS]
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING] >> ...ALL THANKS TO STEM CELL
RESEARCH.
>> UH-HUH.
>> SO, MISS LOHAN, IT'S 12 MILLION PLUS GROSS POINTS.
JUST SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE.
>> HOLD ON A SECOND.
I HAVE SOME REQUEMPS.
I WANT A BIG TRAILER, AND I WANT A TRAILER IN MY TRAILER, AND MY
DOG NEEDS AN ASSISTANT DOG.
>> UH, I ASSURE YOU THAT ALL OF YOUR, UH--
MISS LOHAN?
>> LINDSEY? PUMPKIN?
CAN YOU MAKE THAT CHECK OUT TO CASH?
THAT'S MY NICKNAME FOR HER.
>> CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING, MISS LOHAN--DIET SPRITE, SQUIRT,
COC...A-COLA?
>> LINDSEY LOHAN.
>> AMANDA BYNES.
>> JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
>> IT TOTALLY CAN'T END LIKE THIS.
MY NEW ALBUM DROPS TOMORROW.
>> LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL BE SELLING THEM POSTHUMOROUS.
POSTHUM-- POSTHUMMUS. UGH.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[THUNDER] DOES THIS POWER MAKE ME LOOK
FAT?
>> NOT A PROBLEM.
WE'LL BLAME IT ON HER FATHER.
>> WORKS FOR ME.
[THUNDER] >> IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T REALIZED
IT BY NOW, THIS IS A "HIGHLANDER" PARODY.
>> WHEN I GROW UP, I'M GONNA GET AN OSCAR.
>> IF BY "OSCAR," YOU MEAN "GET YOUR HEAD CUT OFF," YOU'RE ON
YOUR WAY IF YOU DON'T TRAIN HARDER.
>> UH, THAT TOTALLY ISN'T WHAT I MEANT, STUPID.
YOU SMELL LIKE WHISKEY, AND I WANT TO GO SHOPPING.
>> AND THEY COMPLAIN WHEN I SMACK MY WIFE.
YOU MUST HARNESS YOUR GIFTS FOR THE GATHERING.
>> WHAT GATHERING?
YOU'RE GATHERING.
>> ALL THE TEEN STARLETS WILL FEEL THE URGE TO FIGHT FOR THE
PRIZE.
IN THE END, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
>> WHAT PRIZE?
AS IN OSCAR?
I'M GONNA WIN ONE BECAUSE I'M LINDSEY LOHAN.
LO-HAN. LOHAN. I'M NOT SLURRING.
>> NEVER LOSE YOUR TEMPER.
>> NEVER LOSE MY TAMPA?
>> TEMPER.
>> ACH, I HATE YOUR SLURRING, YOU DRUNK.
>> I'M NOT DRUNK. I'M SCOTTISH.
>> OH, SURE, AND I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR EXHAUSTION.
>> TOUCHE. NOW YOU'RE READY.
>> GOOD.
>> OOH! OH, YOU GOT ME IN THE POUNDER PLUMS.
[THUNDER] OH, COLDER THAN A WITCH'S TEAT
TONIGHT.
BETTER HEAT UP THE SAUCE.
>> WHERE'S LOHAN?
>> YOU'RE TOO LATE, HILLARY DUFF.
I'VE ALREADY PREPARED HER FOR YOU.
>> YOU WASTED YOUR TIME. UH!
>> MY ALCOHOL!
>> UHH!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
>> WAIT!
AHH. OK.
>> YOU'RE NEXT, LINDSEY.
>> I LOST 150 POUNDS, AND NOBODY TAKES ME SERIOUSLY.
MAYBE I'LL ADOPT A BROWN KID.
WHAT?
>> HE'S DEAD, AS ARE THE OLSEN TWINS.
I EVEN DECAPITATED MY SISTER HAYLIE, THOUGH SHE DIDN'T HAVE
ANY POWERS, AND THAT WAS REALLY AWKWARD TO EXPLAIN TO MOM AND
DAD.
ONLY YOU AND I REMAIN.
>> YOU BITCH.
>> WATCH IT, LOHAN.
WE CAN'T FIGHT ON HOLY GROUND.
>> YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME, DUFF.
>> SO NOW IT ENDS.
THE POWER IS MINE, LOHAN.
>> NOT IF I CAN HELP IT.
>> SLUT!
>> WHORE!
>> WHITE TRASH!
>> "AGENT CODY" SKANK.
>> AARON CARTER LOVES ME.
>> AARON SAID YOUR TOES WERE GROSS.
>> YOUR ALBUM SUCKS!
>> MY ALBUM SUCKS!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
> I KNOW. I KNOW EVERYTHING.
I AM EVERYTHING.
I HAVE THE POWER.
>> YOU HAVE DONE WELL.
USE YOUR POWERS WISELY, MY CHILD.
>> I WILL.
UNLIMITED POWER!
HA HA HA!
>> UH, IS THIS REALLY HOW "HIGHLANDER" ENDED?
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--]