ROBOT CHICKEN 34 "DRIPPY PONY" >> HA HA HA!
>> IT'S ALIVE!
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
>> HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
>> STOP IT!
MINE DOESN'T WORK!
STOP!
HEY, ST-- SIR, MINE DOESN'T WORK!
HA HA, HO!
>> ARGONAUTS "A" THROUGH "K" REPORT TO JASON.
ARGONAUTS "L" THROUGH "Z", GO WITH JESUS.
>> GOOD LUCK, JASON.
I HOPE YOU FIND THE GOLDEN FLEECE.
>> GOOD LUCK TO YOU, JESUS.
I HOPE YOU FIND, UH...
A STORYLINE THAT DOESN'T END WITH YOU GETTING CRUCIFIED.
[HISSING] >> [YELLING]
>> ARGONAUTS!
TURN THE OTHER CHEEK!
>> UM...
[ROARS] >> WOW!
>> [YELLING] [CLANGING]
>> THE OTHER CHEEK, ARGONAUTS!
TURN IT-- NOW!
>> UH...
REALLY?
>> AAH!
>> I WISH I'D GOTTEN TO GO ON JASON'S BOAT.
>> YOU THREE AND JASON, WE ARE NOW YOUR SEX SLAVES.
>> SOUNDS FAIR TO ME.
>> OOH!
>> COME ON, ARGONAUTS, REALLY RUB THAT CREAM INTO THEIR SORES.
>> HOW MANY LEPERS DOES THIS COLONY HAVE?
[SQUEAKS] >> THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT
THE EARTH!
ARGONAUTS, GET MEEK, NOW!
[ROARS] >> ALL RIGHT.
TREAT THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF.
STEADY, ARGONAUTS, STEADY-- TREAT HIM LIKE THYSELF, NOW!
OH.
DAD DAMN IT.
>> HEY, UH, ARE YOU DEEP THROAT?
>> HMM?
OH, NO, NO, I'M--I'M-- I'M RIM JOB.
YOU WANT LEVEL P2.
>> NEW FROM THE MAKERS OF MY BUDDY, AMERICA'S FAVORITE
BEST FRIEND...
>> ♪ BOP BOP ♪ >> ♪ MY STALKER
MY STALKER HIS OBSESSION STILL REMAINS
EVEN THOUGH HE'S CORD RESTRAINED MY STALKER AND ME ♪
♪ MY EX-GIRLFRIEND MY EX-GIRLFRIEND
EVEN THOUGH I SAID WE'RE THROUGH SHE STICKS TO ME LIKE GLUE
MY EX-GIRLFRIEND AND ME ♪ >> LOOK.
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE HOCKEY GAME WITH YOU, OK?
I'M MARRIED NOW.
I HAVE A LIFE!
>> HONEY, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
>> MARGARET, GO BACK INSIDE!
>> ♪ MY FRIEND I ONCE EXPERIMENTED WITH AT SUMMER CAMP
MY FRIEND I ONCE EXPERIMENTED WITH AT SUMMER CAMP
THE ONE YOU THINK OF BEING NIGHT AND DAY
AND NOT THE ONE WHO MADE YOU GAY MY FRIEND I ONCE EXPERIMENTED
WITH AT SUMMER CAMP AND ME ♪ [GUNSHOT]
>> IS THERE ANYTHING TO EAT?
>> NOT UNLESS YOU WANT A BAND-AID SANDWICH WITH A TALL
GLASS OF IODINE.
>> WE'RE GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH!
>> NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.
>> WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
>> I'M WORLD-RENOWNED ACTOR ORLANDO BLOOM,
BUT YOU MAY CALL ME ORLANDO BLOOMIN' ONION.
>> HE SMELLS DELICIOUS!
>> TRY ONE.
>> MM.
FANTASTIC!
>> ORLANDO BLOOMIN' ONION, YOU WIN THE ACADEMY AWARD--
FOR FLAVOR!
>> SOMETIMES, NATURE'S MIRACLES CAN BE FOUND IN THE MOST AMAZING
PLACES.
>> [GRUNTING] >> THE PENGUIN WILL RISE EACH
MORNING TO GREET THE SUN WITH RENEWED VIGOR.
AFTER FORTIFYING HIMSELF FOR HIS MORNING RITUAL, HE WILL SPREAD
HIS PLUMAGE AND RELEASE YESTERDAY'S CATCH TO BEGIN
THE DAY ANEW.
[SPLASH] >> [MUMBLES]
[SQUIRT] >> RENEWED, THE PENGUIN WILL
LEAVE HIS NEST IN SEARCH OF SUSTENANCE.
HE WILL MAKE THIS WALK EACH DAY, A ROUTE BURNED INTO HIS VERY
SOUL.
HE SEARCHES FOR THE ONLY NOURISHMENT HE'S EVER KNOWN.
THE TREK IS 7 BLOCKS EACH WAY, BUT WHEN THE ICE THAWS IN
SUMMER, IT FEELS LIKE ONLY 2.
SOON, HE WILL FEEL A STIRRING IN HIS LOINS.
THE PENGUIN MUST SEEK OUT A FEMALE, AND IT IS IN THAT SEARCH
THAT NATURE WILL REVEAL ITS GREATEST MIRACLES.
HIS TENACITY HAS PAID OFF.
THE FEMALE HAS HEARD HIS CALL, AND HAS ARRIVED TO LIE WITH HIM.
THE PENGUIN HAS CHOSEN AN OLDER, HEAVIER FEMALE,
AS HE OFTEN DOES, TO GUARANTEE A MATING.
THE PENGUIN MATING RITUAL CAN LAST FOR UP TO 2 HOURS,
FOR 2 MINUTES.
SPENT, THE PROUD PENGUIN FALLS ASLEEP.
>> [SNORING] >> SLEEP RARELY BRINGS PEACE TO
THE PENGUIN.
CALLINGS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SLUMBER MAKE THEIR DEMANDS.
[SQUISH] THE PENGUIN WILL STAND, KEEPING
HIS NEWBORN SURPRISE WARM BETWEEN HIS LEGS FOR HOURS.
IT'S NOT YET READY FOR LIFE ON ITS OWN.
>> EW, SOMETHING SMELLS LIKE [BLEEP]!
>> WHO WANTS ICE CREAM?
>> [SCREAMING] >> OK.
ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN, KIDS, AND JUST LINE--
NOW, KIDS, YOU GOTTA-- OK, LOOK, I CAN'T HELP YOU IF
YOU DON'T QUIET DOWN AND GET IN LI--HEY!
HEY, HEY!
OH--WHAT ARE YOU--DON'T SHAKE THE--WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
>> THE NOBLE MICRONAUTS, HEROIC BEINGS FROM THE
MICROVERSE, SCALE AN EARTH MOUNTAIN IN PURSUIT OF GLORY.
THE PATH IS LONG AND TREACHEROUS, HOWEVER--
>> SHUT UP, PHAROID, IT'S GETTING OLD.
>> FATIGUE SETS IN, TURNING THE MICRONAUT CALLED EDDIE INTO
A TOTAL BALLSACK.
>> SHUT IT!
>> [SCREAMS] >> ANDY!
>> AAH!
>> OH, GOD, ANDY!
>> THIS ROPE DIDN'T BREAK, IT WAS CUT!
>> HA HA HA!
THIS MOUNTAIN BELONGS TO ME.
>> IT'S ACROYEAR!
>> YEAH?
I--I MEAN, I THOUGHT IT WAS PRONOUNCED ACRO-YEAR.
>> YOU'RE BOTH WRONG!
IT'S ACTUALLY PR--OH-- SONS OF BITCHES.
HA HA HA!
DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU WERE ANY MATCH FOR--
OH, AAH!
AAH, OH!
[YELLING] >> I'LL JUST USE MY TIME CHAMBER
TO GO FORWARD IN TIME.
I'LL BE THE FIRST ONE TO THE TOP.
SEE YOU IN THE FUTURE, ASSHOLES.
HEY, WHO'S BEEN USING MY TIME CHAMBER AS A PORT-A-JOHN?
>> SORRY, DUDE.
ANY PORT IN A STORM.
>> WHY, YOU-- AAH!
[YELLS] >> I DID IT!
I DID IT, I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!
KING OF THE WORLD!
>> EDDIE!
IS THAT YOU?
>> DAVE?
>> SORRY, MAN, I GUESS I WENT UP THE WRONG MOUNTAIN.
>> WE WERE DOING THE SOUTH PEAK TODAY, THE--THE SOUTH PEAK!
>> [YELLING] >> UH, DAMN MICRONAUTS.
>> [GIGGLING] >> OH, EVERY NIGHT WITH THIS!
>> [LAUGHING] >> THIS IS THE LIFE.
>> THIS LIFE SUCKS, PHIL.
IT SMELLS LIKE COW CHIPS, AND THEM DAMN INDIANS IS ALWAYS
TRYING TO KILL US.
>> BUT WE'RE COWBOYS, BUDDY!
>> WHO CARES?
WE CAN BE WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT TO BE.
LET'S GO CHECK OUT SOME OF THE OTHER PLAY SETS.
>> WOW, IT'S MAGNIFICENT!
>> FOR $179 IT BETTER BE.
>> [YELLING] >> THE QUEEN'S A WHORE!
>> [CLEARS THROAT] GET OFF OF MY DAMN LAWN!
>> [YELLING] >> WOW!
A PLAY SET WHERE YOU CAN PRETEND TO WAIT AROUND THE AIRPORT.
>> DAMN IT!
OUR FLIGHT'S BEEN DELAYED DUE TO AN ENGINE PROBLEM.
NO, WAIT.
NOW IT'S A PILOT STRIKE.
OK, NOW OUR AIRLINE'S GONE BANKRUPT.
>> WOW, THE PLAYMOBIL MANSION!
>> [LAUGHING] >> OH--
>> SHH, SHH, SHH.
>> LET'S BE COOL, LET'S BE COOL.
>> WELCOME TO THE PLAYMOBIL MANSION, BOYS.
>> A REAL, LIVE, PLAYMOBIL BUNNY.
AM I ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOU?
>> UH...
NO, DUH.
BLECH.
>> EXCUSE ME, MISS.
WHICH WAY TO THE GROTTO?
>> WELL, HEY, EVERYBODY!
>> OH, MORE GUYS.
GREAT.
>> COULD SOMEONE AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE A GIRL?
>> HOLY SMOKE!
HUGH HEFNER!
>> IT'S SUCH AN HONOR TO MEET YOU.
>> I'M GLAD YOU BOYS COULD MAKE IT.
>> AND DO THESE LOVELY LADIES HAVE NAMES?
>> I'M HEF'S GIRLFRIEND HOLLY.
>> I'M HEF'S GIRLFRIEND BRIDGET.
>> I'M HEF'S GIRLFRIEND KENDRA!
>> 3 GIRLFRIENDS?
HOW'S THAT WORK?
>> VERY, VERY WELL.
LADIES?
THE FLOW CHART.
>> I GET HEF TO MYSELF MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS.
>> ALTERNATING WEDNESDAYS ARE GROUP JELL-O WRESTLING!
>> SUNDAY AFTERNOONS ARE WHEN WE DO OUR QUILTING BEE.
>> NOT A BIG FAN OF THE QUILTING BEE.
>> HEF!
>> MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME, GENTLEMEN.
PLAYMATE PERFORMANCE OF "MACBETH" IN 10 MINUTES.
>> FORSOOTH!
>> HA HA HA!
>> FORSOOTH, FORSOOTH.
>> I LOVE THAT MAN.
>> NOW THIS IS THE LIFE.
[SIGHS] >> HEY, TURN A BLIND E--
I CAN DO THIS ALL D-- COULD YOU JUST GIVE ME A SECOND
BEFORE YOU-- OK, LOOK, "GILMORE GIRLS"
STARTS IN ABOUT AN-- OK, LOOK, COULD YOU SERIOUSLY
STOP THAT?
OK, I'M GETTING A LITTLE PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW, D--
DO YOU KNOW WHO MY DAD IS?
>> MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE.
AS IS OUR TRADITION, N.O.R.A.D.
IS TRACKING SANTA CLAUS' JOURNEY DOWN THE NORTH ATLANTIC TOWARDS
NEW ENGLAND ON HIS YEARLY ROUNDS TO GIVE PRESENTS TO ALL THE BOYS
AND GIRLS.
>> [LAUGHING] >> HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO OUR
REQUEST FOR A CARGO LIST AND PASSENGER MANIFEST, SO,
AS PER CURRENT SECURITY REGS, WE'RE ORDERING HIM TO DIVERT
TO CANADA.
>> [LAUGHING] >> HO, HO, HO, BOYS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
YES, PRESENTS DOWN THE CHIMNEYS, THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
HO, HO, HO!
>> TARGET 2-NINER DEGREES AND 3-0.
>> HO, HO, HO!
CAPTAIN MILLER'S A BAD BOY!
SORRY, CHARLIE, I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU NEXT YEAR.
[BLEEP] >> MISSION ACCOMPLISHED,
GENTLEMEN.
THE SYSTEM WORKS.
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--] >> [GASPS]
[SOBBING] >> [SIGHS]
[CHATTERS] >> STUPID MONKEY.