ROBOT CHICKEN 38 LUST FOR PUPPETS
[THUNDER] >> HEE HEE HEE!
[WHIRRING] >> IT'S ALIVE!
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
>> COME ON, TEAM, YOU REALLY ROCK!
CHECK IT OUT, I HAVE A-- >> AAH!
>> MY REVENGE SHALL BE ETERNAL!
ARGH!
>> HA HA HA!
MONTEZUMA, THERE SHALL BE NO REVENGE.
>> REVENGE.
>> [FARTS] >> HA HA HA!
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CALVIN.
>> WOW!
A REAL TIGER.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT ME A REAL LIVE TIGER.
>> OK.
>> NATIVE AMERICANS WOULD BE MORE PLENTIFUL IF THEY HADN'T
TRADED THEIR LAND FOR CASINOS.
>> WELL, COWBOYS NEVER EVEN EXISTED.
THEY'RE JUST A MASCULINE IMAGE CAMPAIGN PURPORTED BY MARLBORO.
>> I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH OUR SON.
>> THIS IS SO [BLEEP].
>> YEAH.
>> WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
>> TO HOBBES, MY PET TIGER.
CAN'T YOU SEE HIM?
>> HMM.
THAT'S JUST A STUFFED ANIMAL.
>> NO, IT'S NOT.
HE'S REAL.
GET HIM, HOBBES.
>> [GROWL] >> [SCREAMING]
>> BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE.
THE VICIOUS TIGER SHOWS NO MERCY.
>> I SEE.
[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING] >> AAH!
>> THIS IS FOR THE BEST.
GIVE HIM THESE PILLS EVERY TWO HOURS.
>> HOBBES?
HOBBES?
AHH...
>> PSST, CALVIN.
>> HOBBES!
>> CALVIN, YOUR PARENTS DON'T BELIEVE.
WE HAVE TO KILL THEM.
[CHAINSAW RUNNING] >> SON, DID YOU DO THIS?
>> ME?
NO.
MY TIGER DID.
HE'S A BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER.
>> OK, YOU'RE COMING WITH US.
>> FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT, HOBBES.
WE'RE GOING TO MARS.
WOW!
MARS IS AMAZING.
>> ♪ LOOK AROUND NO ONE'S EVER GONNA
KNOCK YOU DOWN ♪ [MUSIC STOPS]
>> SO THIS IS YOUR TWO WEEKS, THEN?
I SEE.
["POP GOES THE WEASEL" PLAYING] [MUSIC STOPS]
[CLICK] >> HUH.
HA HA!
[TELEPHONE RINGS] HELLO.
GRANDMA!
OH, I'M SORRY!
NO.
I MUST HAVE MISDIALED!
[HORNS HONKING] >> REVENGE!
[FART] YES, YES.
HA HA!
>> CAMERON!
>> DAMMIT!
NOT A MOMENT OF PEACE.
>> YOU WOULD BE JUSTIFIED IN PASSING ME THE BREAD.
>> IT'S OLD, HONEY.
I JUST WISH THAT THEY-- >> BABE?
>> I'M AFRAID IT'S VERY SERIOUS.
IN YOUR CAREER, HAVE YOU EVER HAD CONTACT WITH A BRAND OF
MOVIE MAKEUP CALLED PROLACTIN?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT IS IT?
>> IT'S USED TO MAKE FAKE SEMEN.
>> OH, CRAP!
>> WELL, AT ANY RATE, YOUR BODY IS NOW 99% CANCER.
YOU HAVE LESS THAN A DAY TO LIVE.
[CLICK] >> D-D-DON'T WORRY, BABY.
I'LL FIND LOVE AGAIN.
>> THANKS.
>> BABY, IS THERE ANYTHING SPECIAL YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE
YOU, YOU KNOW, KICK IT?
>> AS A MATTER OF FACT, THERE IS.
>> OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
OK.
I THOUGHT MAYBE WE'D CUDDLE.
[DOORBELL RINGS] >> YES?
>> THAT'S FOR MAKING LUCY LIU CRY ON THE SET OF CHARLIE'S
ANGELS, BILL MURRAY.
[DOORBELL RINGS] >> YES?
>> FOR GIVING ME CANCER WITH YOUR FAKE SEMEN, BEN STILLER!
>> I WAS JUST AN ACTOR.
THAT STUFF GAVE ME CANCER, TOO!
>> WELL-- THAT'S FOR HAVING CANCER!
[DOORBELL RINGS] >> YES?
>> WHERE'S JOHN RUTTER?
I'M GONNA HIT HIM IN THE NUTS FOR BLACKMAILING ME OVER THOSE
TOPLESS PHOTOS!
>> YOU'LL HAVE TO GO VISIT HIM IN PRISON!
>> OH, YEAH.
I WON THAT CASE.
HA HA!
WHEN DOES HE GET OUT?
>> 4 YEARS FROM NOW!
[SOBBING] >> YOU WIN THIS ROUNDS,
JOHN RUTTER'S NUTS.
COME ON, PLENTY OF CAMERON FOR EVERYBODY!
THAT'S RIGHT, PEOPLE.
CLOSER.
YOU'RE GONNA WANT A REALLY GOOD PHOTO OF THIS.
BURN IN HELL, YOU [BLEEP] CLOWNS!
[KA-BOOM] DIDN'T THE DEAD PAPARAZZI GET A
MEMORIAL, TOO?
>> YEAH.
IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE.
>> ARGH!
AHH...
>> OK, MRS. MILANO, JUST ONE MORE BIG PUSH.
[BABY CRYING] [BABIES CRYING]
[GROWLING] >> DINNER'S READY, BOYS.
CHILI TIME.
STRAIGHT FROM NEW YORK CITY.
>> NEW YORK CITY?
[GUNSHOTS] ACTUALLY, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
>> ARE YOU GUYS EXCITED TO MEET MY FIANCE FRANK?
>> I CAN'T WAIT, SWEETIE.
>> I'M NOT READY TO SEE MY BABY GET MARRIED.
[DOORBELL RINGS] >> FRANKIE!
>> [ROARING] >> LORD, IT'S A MONSTER!
[GUNSHOT] >> DAD, DON'T SHOOT!
THAT'S MY FIANCE.
>> OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT.
NICE TO MEET YOU, FRANK.
>> [ROAR] >> SO, FRANK, WHAT'S YOUR LINE
OF WORK?
>> [ROARING] >> WHAT THE HELL DOES
THAT MEAN?
>> HONEY, BE NICE.
>> HONEY, WATCH OUT!
[GUNSHOT] >> ARGH!
>> DAD, HE WAS JUST TRYING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
>> RIGHT.
SORRY, FRANK.
TOSS THE BALL AROUND?
[BUZZING] >> [SCREAMING]
>> HE'S GOING CRAZY!
[GUNSHOT] >> DAD, A BEEHIVE FELL
IN HIS PANTS.
HE'S ALREADY IN PAIN.
>> OH, MAN, S-SORRY AGAIN THERE, FRANK.
THAT'S, UH, THAT'S MY BAD.
>> RARH.
>> YOU KNOW, I AM REALLY TAKING A LIKING TO THIS FRANKIE GUY.
>> [GRUNTING] >> WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
>> [GRUNTING] >> YOU MONSTER!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY DAUGHTER?
[GUNSHOT] >> DAD, WE WERE HAVING SEX!
>> OH, MAN, SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.
TERRIBLE MISUNDERSTANDING.
I--I FEEL AWFUL.
APOLOGIES ALL AROUND.
CARRY ON.
>> OH, HONEY, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FINALLY COMING TO TERMS WITH
OUR DAUGHTER MARRYING FRANKENSTEIN.
>> FRANKENSTEIN?
HE'S JEWISH?
[GUNSHOTS] >> RIDE MY ASS.
QUITE THE BARGAIN.
GOOD TIME FOR THE-- HEY, GET THE KIDS!
GET THE KIDS.
IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR.
SIR, SIR, DO RIGHT BY YOUR KIDS.
>> WOOHOO!
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING] >> REVENGE!
[FART] >> WOOHOO!
WOOHOO!
>> SO WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN UP TO?
>> GOT A NEW BELL YESTERDAY.
>> OOH, A NEW BELL.
>> LOVING IT.
REALLY COOL JINGLE.
>> AAH!
>> OH, WHOA!
>> OH, NO, MARIO, THE BRIDGE, SHE'S A-CLOSED.
WHICH WAY SHOULD WE GO?
[TIRE BLOWS OUT] OH, LOOK AT THAT.
WE GOT A FLAT TIRE.
>> LOOK, A REPAIR GARAGE.
I'LL PULL IN THERE.
AH, MAMA MIA!
LUIGI, WE GOT A PIMPED OUT RIDE.
>> WE NEED A-SOME COINS, MARIO.
WE HAVE NO MONEY.
>> LEAVE A-TO ME!
>> MARIO!
ARE YOU OK?
>> OH, LOOK, IT'S A TURTLE.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU JUST KILLED MY TURTLE.
>> OH, MY GOD!
I'M-A SO SORRY!
>> HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
>> LUIGI, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
LOOK, LUIGI, IT'S THE PRINCESS.
PRINCESS, YOU MUST A-COME WITH US.
>> I'LL SUCK YOUR [BLEEP] FOR 50 BUCKS.
>> PRINCESS!
>> DO YOU ACCEPT COINS?
>> COME ON, A PRINCESS, WE GOT THE GOLD.
>> UH-UH, NAW, THAT'S MY PRINCESS.
[GUNSHOTS] >> I'M A-HIT.
WHAT IS THIS?
>> THAT'S BLOOD, BABY.
>> OH, MARIO, WE NEED TO FIND YOU SOME MUSHROOMS
SO YOU CAN HEAL.
>> I KNOW JUST THE GUY.
>> THIS IS SOME REALLY GOOD [BLEEP], MAN.
>> HA HA!
HOO HOO!
WOW!
I FEEL REALLY GOOD!
LOOK AT THE PRETTY COLORS!
[SIREN] >> CHEESE IT!
IT'S THE FUZZ!
>> HA HA!
I FEEL SO FUNNY.
LOOK, THERE'S COINS EVERYWHERE.
I'M-A RICH!
>> MARIO, NO!
>> HA HA HA!
>> YOU GO, MARIO, GO!
>> HOO HOO!
>> I THINK I SHOULD-A DRIVE!
[SIREN] >> POLICE!
PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!
HE'S GOT A WRENCH!
TAKE HIM DOWN!
>> NO!
[GUNSHOTS] >> AH, MAMA MIA!
HE'S A-MARINATING IN HIS OWN RAGU!
YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!
YOU SONS OF A BITCHES!
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, YOU MOTHER--
OH HOO!
>> MMM...
RACCOON CITY SOUNDS LOVELY.
[HORNS HONKING] WHAT?
[SCREAMING] [CHICKENS CLUCKING]
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--]