ROBOT CHICKEN 39 ANNE MARIE'S PRIDE
>> [LAUGHING] [WHIRRING]
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
>> IT'S ALIVE!
>> [CRYING SOFTLY] [GRUNTING]
OH!
>> ♪ AND I LOVE YOU CHA CHA CHA ♪
>> HEY!
MR. T.!
I'M DAVE GROHL OF THE FOO FIGHTERS.
I AM SO HONORED YOU WANTED TO COME CHECK OUT ONE OF OUR BAND
REHEARSALS.
>> QUIT YOUR JIBBER-JABBER!
IT'S TIME TO FIGHT SOME FOOLS!
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
>> WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
THE FOOL FIGHTERS, RIGHT?
THEN WHY AREN'T YOU FIGHTING FOOLS?
WHAT'S ALL THIS MUMBO JUMBO ABOUT MUSIC?
>> UH...
>> COME ON!
LET'S GO FIGHT SOME FOOLS!
>> HEY, AREN'T--AREN'T YOU MR. T.?
>> SHUT UP, FOOL!
FIGHT THIS FOOL!
GET THAT SUCKER!
YEAH!
SHUT UP, FOOL!
PUNCH HIM IN THE MICROFICHE.
OVERDUE CHARGES!
GIVE ME A PENNY!
COME ON!
I THINK THERE'S SOME MORE FOOLS THIS WAY.
>> MR. T., I THINK WE HAVE TO STOP FIGHTING FOOLS TOGETHER.
YOU THINK EVERYONE IS A FOOL.
>> THAT AIN'T TRUE, FOOL!
>> SEE?
>> OH, MY GOD.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
NOW I SEE IT IS I THAT HAVE BEEN THE BIGGEST FOOL OF ALL.
YOU MUST FIGHT ME.
BUT IT WON'T BE EASY.
I PUT UP A-- >> SHUT UP, FOOL!
>> I PITY THAT FOOL.
[CHIRPING] >> DAD, CAN YOU REACH THE
FRISBEE FOR ME?
>> UH...
NO.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE CAREFUL.
PASS THE SALT.
[SIGHS] PLEASE, PASS THE SALT.
>> WELL, THAT WAS...
GOOD.
>> DON'T PATRONIZE ME.
DOC, I'VE LOST MY STRETCHING POWERS.
>> YES, WELL, THAT'S NO SURPRISE.
YOU'RE GETTING ON IN YEARS, STRETCH.
YOUR CORN SYRUP HAS HARDENED.
>> OH, NO.
>> I RECOMMEND A FULL CORN SYRUP TRANSPLANT.
THE TRANSPLANT WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS, BUT YOU MUSTN'T DO ANY
STRETCHING UNTIL YOUR STITCHES ARE HEALED.
>> WOULD YOU LIKE THE SALT, HONEY?
>> HA!
I'LL GET THE SALT.
AND AFTERWARDS, I'M GETTING THE FRISBEE OFF THE ROOF AND SHOWING
MY WIFE A NIGHT SHE'LL NEVER FORGET.
>> EW!
>> HONEY, YOUR STITCHES!
>> MY STITCHES!
[SCREAMING] REMEMBER ME AS I ONCE WAS!
>> MY BABY!
>> DADDY!
>> STRETCHY.
>> WHO WANTS SALT?
>> YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!
>> WHY SO SAD, CHAIRRY?
>> OH.
IT'S CHILI DAY.
>> HA HA HA!
HAPPY CHILI DAY, EVERYONE.
I HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR SPOONS.
HA HA!
>> [WHIMPERING] [FART]
>> HI.
I'M GARY COLEMAN.
AND WHEN I NEED $150 FAST TO GET MY POWER TURNED BACK ON,
I USE FAST CASH NOW.
>> AND CUT!
GREAT JOB, GARY.
>> THANKS.
HEY, HEY, SPEAKING OF CASH, WHEN DO I GET MY PAYCHECK FOR
THIS GIG?
>> PAYCHECK?
OH, SURE.
HERE YOU GO.
TAKE IT.
JUST TAKE IT.
JUST TAKE IT, GARY.
JUST JUMP.
THERE YOU GO.
JUST JUMP.
JUST GET IT.
COME ON.
GET IT, GET IT, GET IT, GET IT, GET IT.
YOU CAN GET IT.
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING] >> YO, COLEMAN,
CHECK OUT THE NEW RIDE.
>> HI, EMMANUEL.
>> NAH, NAH.
I GO BY MANY-MO THESE DAYS-- AS IN "I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY-MO
HOT BITCHES I COULD POSSIBLY FIT INTO MY NEW PORSCHE, BITCH!"
HA HA HA.
LATER, TARD!
AH HA HA HA!
[TIRES SQUEAL] >> OH, GARY, MY BOY.
WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE OLD NURSING HOME?
>> HI, CONRAD.
I'M HAVING ONE HELL OF A CRAPPY DAY.
>> WELL, THIS SHOULD CHEER YOU UP.
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> OH, THAT REMINDS ME, I GOT YOU A GIFT.
>> A LEPRECHAUN OUTFIT?
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
TRY IT ON.
IT'S ASS-LESS.
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY TOWED MY CAR!
THIS DAY JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE.
[TOOTS WHISTLE] >> GARY,
YOU HAVEN'T YET EARNED YOUR HALO.
I'M GOING TO SEND YOU BACK TO EARTH UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT.
>> WHAT'S MY FIRST ASSIGNMENT?
>> OH!
MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!
NOW, DANCE!
[IRISH JIG PLAYS] >> BOOKS ARE FUN.
>> HELLO.
I'M LISA, YOUR GPS NAVIGATIONAL ONBOARD COMPUTER.
WHAT ADDRESS WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO?
>> OH, WOW!
WOW.
I'M GOING HOME TO 524 DEER BROOK LANE.
>> ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.
TAKE A LEFT HERE.
>> COOL.
>> SO, WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
>> UM, ALTERNATIVE.
>> LIKE THIS?
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS] >> YEAH!
ROCK ON!
>> SO, DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
>> UM, WHY DO YOU ASK?
>> JUST CURIOUS.
>> NO.
NO, I DON'T.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING TUESDAY NIGHT?
>> SO, THEN I GO, "THAT'S NOT A FOOT-LONG HOT DOG."
HA HA HA.
>> OH, MY GOD.
YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
THE WAITER IS APPROACHING.
HE IS 10 FEET BEHIND YOU.
>> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE, SIR?
>> OH, JUST A SALAD.
>> AND FOR THE GPS COMPUTER?
>> THE LOBSTER, PLEASE, WITH SOME BUTTER-LEMON DIPPING
SAUCE.
THE KITCHEN IS 20 FEET TO YOUR LEFT.
>> EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU.
>> I'LL WALK YOU TO THE DOOR.
I HAD A GREAT TIME.
>> ME, TOO.
YOU'RE FACING NORTH RIGHT NOW.
>> [KISSES] >> SO, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH US
ANYWAY?
>> UH...
WOW.
I, UM...
YOU KNOW, I--I--I...
I CAN'T REALLY GET TOO SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.
I--I-- >> THAN WHAT WAS LAST NIGHT,
JUST A GAME TO YOU?
>> NO, NO!
I--I--I LIKE YOU, LISA.
I DO, IT'S JUST...
I--I--I JUST--I JUST GOT OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP,
AND, YOU KNOW, THE TIMING...
IT'S NOT YOU.
IT'S--IT'S--IT'S ME.
>> YOU'RE A PIMPLY, PRICKLY-FACED SON OF A
WHOREMONGER, [BLEEP]-BREATH, LYING, [BLEEP]-FACED ASSHOLE.
WHAT A [BLEEP]-BEATER.
TAKE A LEFT HERE.
>> OK, LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.
>> [LOW VOICES] ♪ CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS
TIME IS HERE TIME FOR NUTS
AND TIME FOR BEER ♪ >> OH, THEY'RE JUST SO TERRIBLE.
THEY'VE EATEN ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME.
THEY'VE GOT TO GO.
>> [VOICES GET HIGHER] ♪ CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS
LOOP-D-LOOP ME, I NEED
A HULA HOOP... ♪ >> THEY'RE FANTASTIC!
>> THIS COULD SELL THOUSANDS OF ALBUMS.
>> OH, RIGHT.
THE DEADLY HELIUM.
>> TIMBER!
>> MY NAME IS TIMBER!
>> GOOD EVENING.
I'M ROGER EBERT.
ROEPER IS OUT WITH A BAD CASE OF WHO GIVES A [BLEEP].
GUEST HOSTING WITH ME IS DIRECTOR M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN.
>> WHAT A TWIST!
>> YEAH, WHAT A TWIST.
FIRST UP IS A THREE-QUEL TO THE POPULAR "TRANSPORTER" FRANCHISE.
>> I'M LATE FOR MY BRIDGE GAME.
I'M TELLING BOOLIE YOUR MY WORST DRIVER YET.
>> MISS DAISY, THE FIRST RULE WHEN ENTERING A MAN'S CAR--
>> DON'T SASS ME!
AND STOP THAT INFERNAL TICKING.
>> TICKING?
HANG ON!
>> AAGH!
[TIRES SQUEAL] AAGH!
OH, WATCH OUT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
OH!
AAGH!
OH, LOOK OUT!
LOOK OUT!
OH, NO!
OH, FRANK, YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.
>> WELL, THEY WERE GONNA DELIVER A BOMB ONE WAY OUR ANOTHER.
THUMBS DOWN.
>> LOTS OF AERIAL TWISTS!
>> NEXT UP, ADAM SANDLER TAKES ON ANOTHER DRAMATIC ROLE AS
AMERICA'S FOURTH PRESIDENT JAMES MADISON.
>> YOU SUCK, MADISON.
>> HA HA HA!
SHUT UP!
>> ROB SCHNEIDER PLAYS DOUBLE DUTY AS VICE PRESIDENT GEORGE
CLINTON--WHO DIED IN OFFICE FROM A SEVERE HEART ATTACK.
BUT ROB SCHNEIDER RETURNS AS ELBRIDGE GERRY, MADISON'S SECOND
VICE PRESIDENT, WHO ALSO DIED IN OFFICE FROM A SEVERE HEART
ATTACK.
I WOULDN'T EAT THAT MOVIE IF IT WAS A SANDWICH.
THUMBS DOWN.
>> ROB SCHNEIDER, WHAT A TWIT!
>> THE ORIGINAL "RUDY" WAS ABOUT A SHORT, STOUT FOOTBALL PLAYER.
"RUDY 2" IS ABOUT 90 MINUTES LONG.
>> I'M DOING IT, FORTUNE.
I'M LIVING MY DREAM.
>> REMEMBER WHAT I SAID: KEEP YOUR HANDS UP
AND JAB, JAB, JAB!
>> I'M DOING IT.
I'M REALLY DOING IT.
>> KNOCK HIM OUT.
THAT'S GOOD!
LEFT HOOK!
>> I'M DOING IT.
>> KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!
KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!
YOU'RE DOING IT, SON!
>> I'M DOING IT!
>> YEAH, YEAH!
PUNISH HIM!
>> I'M DOING IT.
>> "RUDY 2-D" NOT FRESH, NOT FRUITY.
>> WHAT A FIST!
>> ♪ WHAT'S THIS?
WHAT'S THIS?
THERE'S MAGIC IN THE AIR ♪ OH, WOW.
THIS SUCKS.
>> I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.
>> GEFILTE FISH!
>> IF THIS BUS DROPS BELOW 50 MILES PER HOUR, WE'RE ALL
GOING TO DIE.
>> YAY!
>> WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF GAS.
>> ♪ THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND
AND ROUND... ♪ >> STOP THE SHORT BUS,
I WANT TO GET OFF.
THUMBS DOWN.
>> IT WAS OK.
>> NOW WE LOOK AT ONE OF NEXT WEEK'S NEW RELEASES--
LIAM NEESON REPRISES HIS OSCAR-NOMINATE ROLE IN
"SCHINDLER'S LIST 2."
>> HE'S MAKING A LIST...
HE'S CHECKING IT TWICE...
HE'S GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S NAZI OR NICE.
"SCHINDLER'S LIST 2: SCHINDLER'S PISSED."
>> WHAT A LIST!
>> [SIGHS] WHY COULDN'T YOU COME DOWN WITH
A CASE OF WHO GIVES A [BLEEP]?
>> [CLUCKING] [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--]
>> BOCK.