[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!
>> AH, WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY TO MAKE COOKIES.
[ CRASHING, SCREAMING ] >> OH, MY GOD!
>> HIDE THE RECIPES!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> OW! MY FOOT! MY FOOT!
[ CRYING ] >> YOU BASTARD!
[ WOLF HOWLING ] >> MOM! WHERE'S MY COSTUME?
>> HERE IT IS, RANDY.
A POWER RANGERS COSTUME, JUST LIKE YOU ASKED.
>> IT'S A GIRL'S COSTUME!
[ DOORBELL RINGS ] MY FRIENDS ARE HERE!
>> NOBODY CARES WHAT COLOR YOUR COSTUME IS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> LOOK!
RANDY'S GOING AS ELTON JOHN THIS YEAR.
>> [BLEEP] YOU GUYS.
MOM, I NEED A TRICK-OR-TREAT BAG!
>> WE'RE OUT OF SHOPPING BAGS, HONEY.
JUST USE THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> NICE PURSE, LADY!
>> HERE YOU ARE, LITTLE GIRL.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT DOES IT!
I'M GOING HOME!
[ GRUNTS ] IT'S TOO SMALL.
I-I CAN'T GET IT OFF!
>> THIS IS THE GREATEST HALLOWEEN EVER!
>> IT'S ARMPIT! RUN!
>> [ LAUGHS ] COME HERE!
>> OW!
>> HEY, BABY.
YOU, ME -- GOING FOR A RIDE.
>> NO.
[ TIRES SCREECHING ] >> OH, NO.
ARMPIT'S GONNA RAPE RANDY.
[ SEATS SQUEAKING ] >> [ SOBBING ]
NOBODY...UNDERSTANDS ME!
I TRY TO FIT IN...BUT I'M FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE!
WHY DID MY SOCCER COACH DO THAT TO ME?
[ SOBBING ] [ WHIMPERING ]
YOU KNOW WHAT, SWEETHEART?
I DIDN'T EVEN GET YOUR NAME.
[ KNOCKING ] >> ARE YOU RANDY McCORMICK?
>> YES!
OH, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE!
I'M RANDY McCORMICK!
>> RANDY McCORMICK?!
I'M GONNA KILL YOU, MAN!
[ SOBBING, TIRES SCREECHING ] >> RANDY, I'M AFRAID YOUR MOM'S
DEAD.
>> WHAT?!
>> IT WAS A FIRE, SON.
IT SEEMS ALL SHE HAD TIME TO DO WAS WRITE THIS NOTE SAYING SHE
NEVER LOVED YOU.
>> OH, NO!
>> RIGHT BEFORE SHE SHOT YOUR DOG.
HAVE A HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ] [ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
>> COURT'S ADJOURNED.
[ SQUEAKS ] [ SQUEAKS ]
[ SQUEAKING ]
>> I THINK WE'RE FRAKKED.
I CAN'T SEE ANY FRAKKING WAY WE CAN SURVIVE THIS FRAKKIN'
ASSAULT.
>> SORRY, SIR.
I NEED TO BE EXCUSED.
I GOT TO TAKE A SHART -- A MASSIVE, WET, SLOPPY, HUGE,
FRAKKIN' SHART.
>> SORRY I'M LATE, GUYS.
I WAS JUST HAVIN' ARNAL SEX IN THE LOCKER ROOM.
>> [ SPITS ] >> WHO THE FRAK JARKED OFF IN MY
FRAKKIN' COFFEE?!
>> WHAT THE [BLEEP] ARE THEY SAYING?
>> OH, IT IS EVER SO LONELY BEING THE LAST UNICORN.
WILL I EVER FIND A FRIEND?
>> YO!
[ NEIGHS ] >> OH, TO BE THE LAST UNICORN IS
A WOEFUL PLIGHT, INDEED.
>> BRET MATTHEWS, A NORMAL TEENAGER UNTIL HE CRASHED HIS
CAR INTO A SECRET GOVERNMENT MOLECULAR-TRANSFER RAY.
NOW, WHENEVER BRET GETS TOO HOT, HE BECOMES THE INCREDIBLE
TURBO TEEN.
>> [ GIGGLES ] OH, YEAH!
DO ME, ALEX! DO ME!
ALEX, DO ME!
COME ON!
[ CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] ALEX, I'M WORRIED.
>> YOU AFRAID BRET'S GONNA FIND OUT HIS GIRL'S CHEATING ON HIM
WITH HIS BEST FRIEND?
>> NO, STUPID.
I'M WORRIED OUR SEX STAINS WON'T COME OUT OF THOSE LEATHER SEATS.
[ LAUGHS ] I LOVE BEING A SLUT!
>> DUDE, FREE CAR!
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] [ TIRES SCREECHING ]
[ METAL CRUNCHING ] [ VOMITING ]
SORRY, DUDE.
[ METAL CRUNCHING ] [ LAUGHTER ]
>> LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
>> YEAH!
[ BRAKES SQUEALING ] [ DRILLING, HAMMERING ]
[ TIRES SCREECHING ] [ BRAKES SQUEALING ]
[ BEEPING ] >> AA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-H!
[ CRYING ] [ WHIMPERS ]
>> EASTER BUNNY! EASTER BUNNY!
I FOUND NINE EASTER EGGS AND A CHOCOLATE ONE!
I DIDN'T HIDE ANY CHOCOLATE EGGS.
>> GIVE IT UP, TRACY!
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!
>> WASN'T PLANNING ON IT, PRUNEFACE.
IT'S FINAL CUT FOR YOU, FLATTOP.
[BLEEP] YOU, MUMBLES.
>> WOW, DICK!
YOU REALLY SHOWED THEM.
>> HA! I SURE DID, HORSEMOUTH.
>> UH, DO YOU NEED A RIDE BACK TO THE STATION?
>> NO, THANKS, BIG EARS.
I THINK I'LL WALK.
>> YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE IT EASY WITH THE NICKNAMES, TRACY.
CRIMINALS ARE FINE, BUT GUYS IN THE PRECINCT ARE TAKING IT
PERSONAL.
>> YOU DO THINGS YOUR WAY, MAN-BOOBS, I'LL DO THEM MINE.
HEY! HOW'S IT GOING, DEEPTHROAT?
>> HOW DOES HE KNOW?
>> UH...
>> I WAS TALKING TO YOU, BUDDY.
>> PAPER, MISTER?
>> NO, THANKS, PRE-PUBES.
>> SO THAT'S THE REASON THEY CALL YOU DICK.
>> YEAH.
THAT'S THE REASON.
>> RANDY McCORMICK!
RANDY McCORMICK!
I'M GONNA KILL YOU, MAN!
AA-A-A-A-A-H!
>> WISP, YOU MUST FOLLOW THE SPHERE OF LIGHT TO A LAND
WITHOUT COLOR AND RESCUE THE SEVEN COLOR KIDS.
ONCE THERE, YOU WILL BE FOREVER KNOWN AS RAINBOW BRITE.
WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION?
>> YES, I WILL!
>> THEN FOLLOW THE SPHERE OF LIGHT.
[ FLATLINE ] >> CALL IT.
>> TIME OF DEATH -- 4:15 P.M.
[ BOTH CRYING ] >> OH, NO, OUR CHILD!
>> MY BABY!
>> WE'LL NEVER MAKE ANOTHER.
>> SO, YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME VENOM DID THIS TO MASK
HEADQUARTERS?
>> UM...
YES?
>> MALARKEY, SCOTT.
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?
>> UH...
[ TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS ] [ GLASS BREAKING ]
>> WHOO-HOO-HOO!
LOOK AT ME!
I'M IN MASK!
>> AA-A-A-A-A-H!
WHOA-OH!
>> THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
WHOO-HOO!
[ SMOOCHING ] >> YOU'RE GROUNDED, MISTER.
>> SUCH AN ASSHOLE!
[ CRYING ] >> HE'S NEVER HAD A MOTHER,
SATO.
>> SATO SAY GOOD WOMAN WILL DO 70 CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE --
COOKING AND 69.
>> OH, SATO, YOU'RE FANTASTICALLY OFFENSIVE.
>> A DATING WEBSITE?
THAT COULD BE A HUGE SECURITY RISK, MATT.
>> SORRY, HONDO.
I JUST DON'T MEET THAT MANY WOMEN.
>> WHY DON'T YOU JUST DATE GLORIA?
[ RATCHETING ] >> NAH.
I'M MORE OF A CHUBBY CHASER.
>> YEAH, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A BIG, HARD -- WAIT.
WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY CHUBBY?
[ BOTH LAUGH ] >> OH, MATT.
[ CAR ALARM DEACTIVATES ] WOW!
BITCHIN' CAR!
>> YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET.
>> MADRE DE DIOS!
[ R&B MUSIC PLAYS ] >> DANG!
DOES EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE TRANSFORM?
>> YEAH.
WATCH THIS, BABY.
>> WOW!
MMM! [ GIGGLES ] MMM!
SO ALL Y'ALL HAVE MASKS, HUH?
DON'T I GET A MASK?
>> YEAH, YOU SURE DO.
>> [ LAUGHING, SNORTING ] >> DARLENE'S PREGNANT, SATO!
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
>> SATO SAY SHOTGUN WEDDING IS CASE OF WIFE OR DEATH.
[ "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS ] >> [ SIGHS ]
I DO.
>> THEN BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME, I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND
WIFE.
>> [ CRYING ] >> YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.
>> NOW!
>> OH, MY GOD.
MILES MAYHEM?!
>> HE'S THE LEADER OF VENOM.
>> HA HA HA!
THE JOKE'S ON YOU, TRAKKER!
[ CRASHING ] NOW I HAVE ALL YOUR SECRETS,
MASK!
VENOM LEGALLY OWNS HALF YOUR [BLEEP]
JUST TRY AND DIVORCE ME!
>> BUT I PUT MY -- YOU PUT YOUR...
OH, MY GOD.
>> SATO SAY GAY DINOSAUR CALLED MEGA-SORE-ASS.
>> YOU'LL HAVE TO BATHE YOURSELF FROM NOW ON, SCOTT TRAKKER!
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ] >> MOM?
>> WHAT A PLAN!
NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW!
>> YEAH.
BUT WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN EASIER TO SEND ME INSTEAD?
I MEAN, I'M AN ACTUAL CHICK.
>> SILENCE!
[ SIGHS ] >> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-GAWK! BAWK.
>> GRR. ARGH.
>> BLAMO!
>> ARRGH!
>> IT WON'T DIE.
NO-O-O-O!
>> GRR! ARGH!
>> AAH! AAH!
>> GRR!
>> MY BABY!
AAH! [ GURGLING ] OH! AAH! OHH!
OH, THERE IS NO GOD!
>> COME ON, JOSS.
THAT'S WHY YOU GOT KICKED OFF "WONDER WOMAN."
>> GRR! ARGH!