[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!
>> HE WO HITTE, SHIRI TSUBOME?
>> SARU MO KI KARA OCHIRU.
>> GADEN INSUI?
[ ALARM SOUNDS ] >> [ ROARS ]
[ BOTH SCREAM ] >> Both: "REAST" INFECTO!
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR!
OOH!
>> YEAST-B-GONE!
AKUSAI WA HYAKU-NEN NO FUSAKU!
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR!
>> [ ROARS ] [ BOTH GIGGLING ]
>> Both: SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR!
[ BOTH GIGGLING ] >> AKINASU WA YOME NI KUWASUNA!
>> [ GASPS ] SEIKO UDOKU!
>> UH-OH!
[ ALARM BLARES ] >> [ ROARS ]
>> All: ICE-CREAM MAN!
ICE-CREAM MAN!
[ LAUGHTER ] ICE-CREAM MAN!
>> TASTE POKé-FLAME, CHIRLAXX!
PCHEW! PCHEW! PCHEW!
[ CHUCKLES ] >> THE CIA's DAILY
THREAT-ASSESSMENT REPORT, SIR.
>> OH, BORING!
>> YOUR PERSONALIZED DAILY COMIC BOOK, SIR.
>> HEY, YOU GOT MY ATTENTION NOW!
HEE HEE HEE.
DANG IT, NO TIME TO ACTUALLY READ THIS THING.
GOT TO MAKE A SNAP DECISION.
WATCH YOUR ASS, MIDDLE EAST!
CAPTAIN TEXAS IS COMING!
FOR YOUR ASS!
YIPPIE KI-YAY!
>> WHAT THE -- >> SORRY, THAT INFORMATION IS ON
A NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS!
>> NO!
I'M BURNING ALIVE!
>> [ LAUGHS ] >> YOU SAID YOU WERE USING
NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY TO HELP CHILDREN!
>> YES, TO HELP CHILDREN DIE!
ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD!
[ LAUGHS ] >> NO WAY, JOSé!
>> YOU CAN'T STOP ME!
[ SCREAMS ] >> [BLEEP] THOSE GUYS.
THE U.N. WAS WRONG IN IRAQ, AND THEY'RE WRONG FOR OUR CHILDREN'S
FUTURE!
NOW COME GET YOUR WHIPPIN'!
>> YOU CANNOT STOP THE MISSILES!
ONLY I HAVE THE CODES, SO YOU MUST DEAL WITH --
>> NEGOTIATING WITH TERRORISTS IS FOR DEMOCRATS!
I'M GEORGE W. BUSH, AND THE "W" STANDS FOR...
WELL, HERE COMES YOUR ASS-KICKING!
YAHOO!
>> [ SCREAMS ] >> OH, MAN, I SHOULDN'T HAVE
THROWN THAT LITTLE WAITER IN THE FIRE SO QUICK!
I NEED THAT CODE!
OH, THERE'S A SAYIN' IN TEXAS -- KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE BUSH --
UH, A BUSH IN THE BUSH IS WORTH ONE IN THE -- OH [BLEEP] IT!
ONE MIDDLE EAST PARKING LOT, COMIN' UP!
[ EXPLOSION ] SO LONG, THREAT TO AMERICA'S
ECONOMY -- OR AS YOU SAY, "ADIOS"!
YEAH [BLEEP] YOU, SUN!
HA HA HA!
YEAH, I'M THE PRESIDENT!
HA HA, YEAH!
THAT'S HOW I'M GONNA FIX GLOBAL WARMING, TOO --
CAPTAIN TEXAS-STYLE!
>> WHOA!
NO!
I'M BURNING ALIVE!
>> HERE I GO!
HYAH!
UH-OH.
[ CRASH ] [ RATTLING ]
>> THANKS FOR TUNING IN, AND WELCOME TO A SPECIAL CELEBRITY
EDITION OF "DOUBLE DARE"!
LET'S SAY HELLO TO THE RED TEAM -- DAREDEVIL...
>> I JUST HEARD SOMEONE FART IN THE AUDIENCE.
>> ...AND STEVIE WONDER!
>> I'M FEELING VERY SUPERSTITIOUS, BABY.
>> [ SNIFFS ] AND NOW I SMELL IT.
>> AND LET'S WELCOME THE BLUE TEAM -- MARLEE MATLIN AND
HELEN KELLER!
ARE YOU LADIES EXCITED TO PLAY?
>> WHEN ARE WE STARTING?
>> GREAT!
FIRST QUESTION -- WHAT ANIMAL MAKES THIS NOISE?
[ MOOING ] >> A COW!
>> CORRECT!
500 POINTS!
>> IS SOMEONE GOING TO SIGNAL ME WHEN WE ARE STARTING?
>> NEXT QUESTION -- IDENTIFY THIS OBJECT.
>> THE OBJECT IS A TV MONITOR!
[ BUZZER ] >> HEY, LOOK! A BASKETBALL!
[ DING! ] >> CORRECT!
NEXT QUESTION!
WHAT IS THE NOISE THAT THIS ANIMAL MAKES?
>> I'LL TAKE GEOGRAPHY FOR $400, PLEASE, ALEX.
[ BUZZER ] >> HELEN WANTS TO SAY THAT SHE
IS INCREDIBLY CONFUSED WHERE SHE IS, AND, SERIOUSLY, IF ANYONE
CAN LET ME KNOW WHEN WE'RE STARTING, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
[ BUZZER ] >> AS NEITHER TEAM COULD ANSWER,
HELEN KELLER WILL NOW HAVE TO DO THE PHYSICAL CHALLENGE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HELEN WILL HAVE TO JUMP THROUGH
THESE THREE FLAMING HOOPS ON THIS TRICYCLE.
AND GO!
[ SPLASH! ] OH, AND STRAIGHT INTO THE PILE
OF SLIME.
THAT'S UNFORTUNATE.
>> WATER!
>> RED TEAM WINS!
CONGRATULATIONS!
>> OH, HEY!
WHO WAS THAT? WHO WAS THAT?
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ON TELEVISION ]
[ ENERGY HUMMING ] [ BOTTLE OPENS ]
>> REALLY?
>> "I REGRET" IS THE NEW GAME YOU'LL REGRET IF YOU DON'T PLAY!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, OKAY, I'M UP, I'M UP.
I REGRET...LAST NIGHT, JULIE.
>> WHAT?
>> I WANTED TO SEE YOU NAKED, AND I DID, AND NOW I JUST DON'T
WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
>> [ COUGHS ] >> UH-OH!
"I REGRET" FROM GABLOO!
>> SPACE PIRATE MONKEY FROM PLUTO!
>> TO KING ARTHUR AND CAMELOT!
>> SIR BEDIVERE, HOW GOES THE QUEST?
>> [ MUFFLED SPEAKING ] >> WHAT?
>> [ MUFFLED SPEAKING ] UH, WELL, THEN, SIR LANCELOT?
>> [ MUFFLED SPEAKING ] >> OH, THIS IS A DISASTER.
CAN'T ANYONE HELP?
>> YO, WHAT'S UP, KING ARTHUR?
>> SIR MIX-A-LOT!
[ RAP MUSIC PLAYS ] >> ♪ THIS TABLE'S LONG, BUT IT
SHOULD BE ROUND ♪ ♪ KING ARTHUR CAN'T HEAR A
SOUND ♪ ♪ WHEN A KNIGHT TRIES TO TALK,
THAT BROTHER'S GOTTA WALK ♪ ♪ 'BOUT HALF A FREAKIN' BLOCK TO
BE HEARD ♪ ♪ CAN'T HEAR A WORD ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THIS TABLE IS SO ABSURD ♪
♪ US KNIGHTS GOT MUCH TO DISCUSS ♪
♪ BUT THIS TABLE'S RIDICULOUS ♪ >> DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
>> ♪ BEDIVERE CAN'T HEAR ♪ YO, CAN YOU PASS ME SOME BEER?
>> SAY WHAT?
>> ♪ IT'S 20 FEET BY 80 ♪ ♪ CAN'T EVEN FLIRT WITH LADIES ♪
♪ BETTER HAVE LONG ARMS ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU'RE HAVIN' A MEAL ♪
♪ IF YOU TRYIN' TO COP A FEEL ♪ ♪ WE NEED A NEW PROPORTION ♪
♪ TO BRING OUR KINGDOM FORTUNE ♪ ♪ I GOT AN IDEA THAT MIGHT WORK
FOR YA ♪ ♪ I'M-A MAKE THIS MOTHER
CIRCULAR ♪ SIR GALAHAD!
>> YEAH?
>> PERCIVAL!
>> YEAH?
>> DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THE OTHERS TALK?
>> HELL, YEAH!
>> ♪ THEN BRING IT IN ♪ ♪ SIT IT DOWN ♪
♪ IT'S LIKE KING ARTHUR'S CROWN ♪
♪ TABLE BE ROUND ♪ [ AIR WHISTLING ]
♪ TABLE BE ROUND ♪ ♪ NOW WITH THIS CIRCULATION ♪
♪ WE CAN HAVE NICE CONVERSATION ♪
>> CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
>> I CAN HEAR!
>> HOLY COW!
>> ♪ MAKE EVERY NIGHT SAY ♪ >> All: WOW!
>> ♪ NOW YOU KNOW THAT WE CANNOT FAIL ♪
♪ WHEN WE'RE LOOKING FOR THE HOLY GRAIL ♪
>> ♪ 360 ON THE PARAMETER ♪ ♪ AND YOU KNOW HOES LIKE
DIAMETER ♪ >> All: ♪ TABLE BE ROUND ♪
>> ♪ YEAH ♪ >> All: ♪ TABLE BE ROUND ♪
>> ♪ BUMPING THIS WITH THE CIRCUMFERENCE ♪
>> All: ♪ TABLE BE ROUND ♪ >> [BLEEP]
I'M NEVER GONNA NEED MONEY, ANYWAY.
COME ON, MAN.
COME ON, MAN, WHERE YOU WIN THIS [BLEEP] AT, SHOOTING DICE?
THE HELL WRONG WITH YOU?
CROWN-WEARING [BLEEP] [BLEEP]
>> UH, THIS IS A PICKLE.
>> UH...HUH.
>> DADDY, DADDY, LOOK!
GLOWORM IS GLOWING!
>> HEY, THANKS.
YOU SHOW ME THAT THING, LIKE, ONCE A DAY.
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] >> OH, THE FUSE MUST'VE BLOWN.
>> OH, DAMN IT!
OH, HELL, I NEVER GOT BATTERIES FOR THE FLASHLIGHT.
>> DADDY, WHAT ABOUT GLOWORM?
>> FINE, JUST GIVE IT TO ME.
[ CRASH! ] OW! OH, ASS-PACKING [BLEEP] END
TABLE!
[BLEEP] >> DADDY, IS GLOWORM HURT?!
>> NO, DADDY'S KNEECAP WAS SHATTERED LIKE A DINNER PLATE,
BUT GLOWORM'S A-OKAY.
DON'T WORRY, HONEY.
>> HONEY, BE CAREFUL ON THE BASEMENT STAIRS!
>> OH, REALLY?
'CAUSE I THOUGHT I'D GO DOWN BACKWARDS, HOPPING ON ONE FOOT,
BUT -- OH [BLEEP] [ SCREAMING, THUDDING ]
UGH.
[ COUGHS ] [BLEEP] STAIRS.
[ JOINTS CRACKING ] WHERE'S THAT [BLEEP] THING?
STUPID FUSE BOX.
OH, COME ON!
WORK, DAMN IT!
WORK!
>> HONEY, I THINK THE POWER'S OUT FOR THE WHOLE BLOCK!
IT'S A BLACKOUT!
>> OH [BLEEP] DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!
DAMN IT! DAMN IT!
STUPID BLACKOUT!
[ GLOWORM SQUEAKS ] [ FOOTSTEPS ]
I'M BACK!
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP!
>> DADDY, WHERE'S GLOWORM?
>> HERE'S GLOWORM.
>> HE'S NOT LIGHTING UP WHEN I HUG HIM.
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] [ SCREAMS ]
>> HI, I'M "ROBOT CHICKEN" EXECUTIVE PRODUCER SETH GREEN.
>> AND I'M EXECUTIVE PRODUCER MATTHEW SENREICH.
>> AS OUR THIRD SEASON DRAWS TO A CLOSE, WE'D LIKE TO TAKE A
MOMENT TO REMEMBER THOSE WE LOST ALONG THE WAY.
[ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ] >> [ SCREAMS ]
[ ALL SCREAMING ] >> OH, GOD!
>> WHOA!
[ ALL SCREAMING ] [ GROANING ]
>> THAT'S IT? ONLY TWO?
>> GEEZ, THE OSCARS ALWAYS HAVE A BILLION OF THOSE THINGS.
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ] >> HEY, GUYS, SORRY TO
INTERRUPT.
I'VE GOT YOUR JAMBA JUICE.
[ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ] AAH!
UGH!
[ Screaming ] MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!
AAH!
AAAAH!
AAH! UGH!
>> PHEW.
THREE'S PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, PRETTY GOOD, BUT I THINK WE CAN DO BETTER.
[ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ] >> WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
>> YOU BROUGHT THE CARD UP TOO EARLY!
>> WHAT, YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA [BLEEP] KILL ME?
NOT IF I [BLEEP] KILL YOU!
HA HA!
I AM "ROBOT CHICKEN"!
>> I AM "ROBOT CHICKEN"!
>> STUPID PARTNER!
>> OH [BLEEP] WHAT THE [BLEEP]
UGH!
>> UGH!
>> [ SCREAMS ] [ ALL SCREAMING ]
>> WHAT IN TARNATION IS ALL THIS COMMOTION IN THE HEN HOUSE?
>> HEY, EVERYBODY, IT'S "ADULT SWIM" PRESIDENT
MIKE LAZZO.
>> LOOK AT ALL THE DEAD FOLK LYING AROUND HERE LIKE POSSUMS
ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!
OUR INSURANCE IS GONNA SKYROCKET, Y'ALL!
>> WAIT, DO YOU MEAN WE'RE -- >> HELL, YEAH, FELLAS --
"ROBOT CHICKEN" IS CANCELED!
[ BOTH SCREAM ] >> ♪ BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK, BA-BA-BAWK ♪
♪ BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK ♪