[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!
>> OH, NO, GOT AN EYELASH!
UGH!
OH, MAN, IT'S IN MY EYE!
UGH!
OH, IT HURTS LIKE HELL!
I CAN'T GET IT -- UH-OH.
YEAH, THAT'S STUCK IN THERE.
[ SIREN WAILING ] [ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> OH, I'M SORRY, OFFICER.
DID I DO SOMETHING WRO-- [ SCREAMS ]
>> [ ROARS ] [ WOMEN SCREAMING ]
[ WHOOSH ] [ DING ]
>> WAY TO GO, CHAMP!
THAT WAS A GREAT SHOT!
[ WHOOSH ] [ DING ]
>> COME ON, SON!
ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?!
YOU GOT TO GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!
[ ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING ] [ HORSE WHINNYING ]
>> ♪ JUST SOME NOBLE DUKES ♪ ♪ NEVER MEAN TO OFFEND ♪
♪ JUST SCREWING WITH THE KING AND DOIN' IMPROPER THINGS ♪
♪ NEAR THE CENTURY'S END ♪ ♪ DRAININ' THE WELL ♪
♪ UNTYING THE LOOP ♪ ♪ WANNA MARRY COUSIN FRAN, AND
IN THIS ERA THEY CAN ♪ ♪ SO IT AIN'T NO BIG WHOOP ♪
♪ NOT MUCH MORE TO SAY ♪ ♪ AFTER WHO, WHEN, AND HOW ♪
♪ IN FACT, THIS SONG BEGINS TO REPEAT ITSELF RIGHT ABOUT NOW ♪
♪ JUST SOME NOBLE DUKES ♪ ♪ WHY THEY DO THIS IS VAGUE ♪
♪ BUT LET THEM HAVE THEIR FUN, 'CAUSE IN NO TIME THEY'LL BE
DEAD FROM THE PLAGUE ♪ >> A-WHOOPIE!
[ SPLASH! ] >> I DON'T KNOW.
SEEMS LIKE CHEATIN'.
>> WELL, SHOULD WE THROW IT BACK?
>> LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU COME UP WITH, FELLAS!
>> THANK YOU, MY LIBERTARIAN FRIENDS, FOR MAKING US YOUR
NOMINEES FOR PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
>> 1984 IS THE YEAR OF THE LIBERTARIAN PARTY!
WE WILL BE CHAMPIONS!
>> YES, UNFORTUNATELY, THE ROCK BAND QUEEN WON'T LET US PLAY
THEIR HIT "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS," BUT ENJOY THIS
SOUNDALIKE, WHICH WE WILL PLAY IN THE WHITE HOUSE!
>> ♪ WE ARE THE VICTORS OF THE GLOBE ♪
♪ AND WE'LL CONTINUE DOING STUFF... ♪
>> FOUR YEARS AGO, I SAID WE WOULD BE CHAMPIONS!
HOW WRONG I WAS.
RONALD REAGAN SOUNDLY BEAT US.
>> IN FACT, WE RECEIVED LESS THAN 1% OF 1% OF THE VOTE.
>> BUT IT IS 1988, AND THE COUNTRY NEEDS TO COME TOGETHER
LIKE A FAMILY!
>> WE ARE FAMILY!
WE ARE FAMILY!
>> DON'T WORRY, SISTER SLEDGE.
THIS IS NOT YOUR COPYRIGHT-PROTECTED MUSICAL HIT
"WE ARE FAMILY."
IT'S SOMETHING BETTER.
>> ♪ WE ARE A CLOSE-KNIT GROUP ♪ ♪ COWORKERS AND ACQUAINTANCES ♪
>> FOUR YEARS AGO, WE ASKED AMERICA TO JOIN OUR FAMILY.
AMERICA SAID NO.
>> SO WE DECIDED TO MAKE LOVING FAMILIES OF OUR OWN.
WHO ELSE WANTS TO GET ON BOARD THE LOVE TRAIN?!
>> SADLY, THE O'JAYS WON'T LET US USE THEIR HIT SONG
"LOVE TRAIN."
>> EVEN THOUGH IT EXPRESSES EVERY POLITICAL IDEAL WE STAND
FOR.
>> NEXT STOP, THE WHITE HOUSE!
>> TOOT TOOT!
ALL ABOARD!
>> ♪ CITIZENS OF THE EARTH ♪ >> ♪ COME ON ♪
>> ♪ RIDE THE FRIEND CHOO-CHOO ♪ >> ♪ RIDE ♪
>> ♪ RIDE THE FRIEND CHOO-CHOO ♪ >> ♪ YEAH ♪
>> ♪ RIDE THE FRIEND CHOO-CHOO ♪ >> WELL, SADLY, NOT A SINGLE
VOTER CHOSE TO BOARD THE FRIENDSHIP CHOO-CHOO.
WORSE, DESPITE USING THE SOUNDALIKE, THE O'JAYS STILL
SUED US.
>> AND DURING THE 16-YEAR LEGAL BATTLE, UNSAVORY PRIVATE MATTERS
WERE REVEALED, RESULTING IN THE SPECTACULAR IN-COURT SUICIDE OF
MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE, JEANETTE.
>> MY WIFE, SARAH, ALSO COMMITTED SUICIDE.
BUT, UH, THAT WAS UNRELATED TO THE TRIAL.
>> THESE TRAGEDIES TAUGHT US THAT LIFE, LIKE VOTING FOR A
THIRD PARTY, ARE ULTIMATELY MEANINGLESS.
>> SO I-IN THE END, ALL WE, THE LIBERTARIAN PARTY, ARE IS DUST
IN THE WIND!
>> DUT! DUT! DUT! DUT! DUT!
>> I MEAN, ALL OF US IS AIRBORNE MINI DIRT.
>> AIRBORNE MINI DIRT, Y'ALL!
>> ♪ ALL OF US IS AIRBORNE MINI DIRT ♪
>> SO, AS YOU CAN SEE, THE SQUARE ROOT OF NEGATIVE ONE IS
THE IMAGINARY NUMBER "I."
>> I DON'T GET IT.
OH, NOW I GE-- >> [ VOMITING ]
>> CLARK! IT'S ME -- LOIS!
OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
>> GIVE ME YOUR BOOBS.
>> UGH!
>> THEY'RE IN YOUR HEAD IF YOU LOOK INSIDE OF THE MICROSCOPE OR
ACUTES IF YOU'RE BOUND TO FIND THEM, 'CAUSE THEY'RE SO
PREVALENT.
I'M MADE OF CHOCOLATE!
>> OH, WHILLIKERS, MR. KENT!
YOU LOOK AWFUL!
LET'S GET YOU HOME.
[ TIRES SCREECH ] >> YOU BETTER DRINK UP, FISHES,
'CAUSE YOU NEED TO BE DRINKING!
>> UH-OH, LOOKS LIKE CLARK WAS EXPOSED TO SOME RED KRYPTONITE.
I BETTER -- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
OH, HEY, THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN.
SAY, WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO WITH YOUR REGULAR CLOTHES WHEN YOU
TURN SUPER?
>> MINE DISAPPEAR WHEN I SPIN AROUND.
>> MINE JUST GO INTO MY RING.
>> UH, I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST DROP MINE IN THE STREET, I GUESS.
I'M SAVING LIVES!
>> HMM.
I THOUGHT SO.
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ] >> EW!
>> THE LEADER OF THE BAND!
>> HIS BLOOD RUNS THROUGH MY INSTRUMENTS!
[ SAXOPHONE PLAYING ] [ VIDEO-GAME MUSIC PLAYING ]
>> THIS IS BORING!
>> BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE!
WAIT TILL YOU TRY THE LATEST WII FIT GAME, "HUMPING ROBOT."
>> WOW!
[ FAST-PACED MUSIC PLAYING ] AWESOME!
>> CAN I PLAY?
>> SURE!
>> IT'S FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
[ BANGING ] [ DINGING ]
>> AAH!
[ MATCH STRIKES ] I WANT TO PLAY.
>> "HUMPING ROBOT" FOR WII FIT.
GET YOUR COPY TODAY.
REPETITIVE STRESS DISORDER MAY LEAD TO TOTAL FAILURE OF THE
PELVIS.
>> OKAY, OUR LEAD STORY IS THE ZONING-COMMISSION SCANDAL.
NEXT UP, METRO SECTION.
KENT, WHAT DO YOU GOT?!
>> THE JEFFERSONS ARE ON SATURN!
THE ROBOT'S IN THE FOREGROUND IN MY HEAD, SCREAMING!
>> GOOD. GO WITH THAT.
>> WHO SAYS HOMELESS PEOPLE ARE USELESS?
[ LAUGHS ] UP, UP, AND AWAY.
[ SLURP ] >> EXCUSE ME, FROG.
CAN YOU HELP ME GET ACROSS THE RIVER?
I COULD RIDE ON YOUR BACK.
>> OH, BUT YOU'RE A SCORPION.
YOU'LL STING ME!
>> NO!
WE'D BOTH DROWN.
WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
>> HMM.
OKAY!
[ SWORD UNSHEATHES ] WHAT THE [BLEEP]
>> IT'S IN MY NATURE!
>> [BLEEP] YOU!
>> OW! YOU SHOT ME!
>> BLOWING YOUR BRAINS OUT IS MY [BLEEP] NATURE!
>> RELAX! WE MADE IT! CHILL!
>> CHILL THIS, ASSHOLE!
[ PANTING ] >> EXCUSE ME, SIR, MIGHT YOU
GIVE A TIRED GERBIL A RIDE ACROSS?
I PROMISE NOT TO CRAWL INTO YOUR ASS OR ANYTHING.
BUT WHY?
>> IT'S IN MY NATURE.
[ FARTING ] >> UGH!
GOT TO CUT BACK ON THE SMURFBERRIES.
ALL THAT FIBER TURNS MY INTESTINES INTO A SMURFING LOG
FLUME.
HUH, WONDER WHO THE PAGE-THREE GIRL IS.
GEE, SMURFETTE.
SHOCKER.
[ TOILETTE FLUSHES ] UH-OH. OH, NO.
GO DOWN. GO DOWN.
OH, NO! OH, NO!
OH, OH! SMURF ME UP THE SMURF!
>> THE VILLAGE SEPTIC TANK IS SMURFED TO HELL!
>> WELL, HANDY, WE'RE A COMMUNIST SOCIETY, SO HURRY UP
AND FIX IT FOR FREE.
>> YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
THE TANK RUPTURED.
THE SEWAGE HAS SMURFED INTO THE WATER TABLE.
[ BUBBLING ] >> UGH!
UNCLE GALLIO, I FEEL SICK.
EVERYTHING TASTES LIKE ROTTEN SMURFBERRIES.
>> OUR WATER HAS BEEN CONTAMINATED, AllStar.
>> SO HOW DOES A TEST TUBE WORK UNDERWATER, EXACTLY?
>> IT DOESN'T TAKE A SCIENTIST TO FIGURE OUT THOSE JERK-ASS
SMURFS ARE DUMPING CRAP IN OUR LAKE AGAIN!
>> ARE THOSE FLYING FISH?
>> I HATE FLYING FISH!
>> ARE THOSE FLYING FISH STUFFED WITH DYNAMITE?!
>> I HATE FLYING FISH STUFFED WITH --
[ SMURFS SCREAMING ] >> I REALLY HAVE AN ETHICAL
PROBLEM WITH THIS.
>> WHAT? THEY'RE VOLUNTEERING.
JUST REMEMBER, 72 FISH VIRGINS AWAIT YOU IN FISH HEAVEN.
>> TO ME, MY SMURFS!
IT'S WAR!
WAR!
[ SMURFS SCREAMING ] [ EARS RINGING ]
>> [ Nasally ] I CAN'T HEAR!
I CAN'T HEAR!
>> YOU COULDN'T HEAR BEFORE!
YOUR NAME IS DEAF SMURF, FOR GOD'S SAKES!
>> OH, YEAH!
WELL, IT STILL SUCKS!
>> SEE? LIKE "BRAVEHEART"!
>> A PRESENT!
>> EVERYONE, STOP PICKING UP THE PRESENTS!
[ Slow-motion ] ST-O-O-O-O-OP!
>> EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME.
WE'RE GONNA OUTFLANK THEM WITH A PINCER MANEUVER!
THEN WE'LL ENCIRCLE THEM WITH A BLITZKRIEG!
>> YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SMURFING ABOUT, BRAINY!
>> PAPA SMURF SAID I'M IN CHARGE, AND PAPA SMURF IS ALWAYS
RIGHT, BECAUSE PAPA SMURF -- [ WHIRL! ]
HEY, IT'S TRUE!
THE BRAIN DOES STAY ALIVE AFTER DE-SMURFITATION.
>> [ GULPING ] >> AAH!
>> STOP IT, YOU STUPID BOYS!
THIS ISN'T ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING!
>> ARE YOU A F-- ARE YOU A F-- A FEMALE?
>> WELL, SURE I AM.
WHY?
>> [ GROANS ] >> WE THOUGHT THERE WAS ONLY ONE
GIRL IN THE WHOLE WORLD, THIS TIRED, OLD WORN-OUT WHORE OVER
HERE!
>> HEY!
>> SO IT'S AGREED.
WE'LL STOP SMURFING OUR TURDS IN YOUR LAKE.
[ SNORKS CHEERING ] >> AND IN RETURN, WE SHALL GIVE
YOU PHOTOS OF OUR WOMEN.
[ SMURFS CHEERING ] >> TO MASTURBATE TO.
>> YES, TO MASTURBATE TO.
[ SMURFS CHEERING ] >> UNBELIEVABLE!
ROTTEN SCUM-BAG MEN.
UGH!
>> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
BA-GAWK! BAWK.
>> [ GURGLING ] >> [ LAUGHS ]
STUPID FISH!
GET IN THE [BLEEP] PAN!
[ SIZZLING ]