[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!
>> WAK WAK WAK WAK WAK!
I THINK YOU GAVE ME THE WRONG UMBRELLA, WAK WAK WAK.
>> AAAAH!
MY UMBRELLA'S TAKING ME UP INTO THE SKY!
THIS IS NOT MY UMBRELLA!
AAAAAH!
>> MARION, DON'T LOOK AT IT!
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED!
>> [ MOANING ] >> BOOGA! BOOGA! BOOOOO!
>> OPEN YOUR EYES!
LOOK AT US!
>> DON'T DO IT, MARION!
DON'T OPEN YOUR EYES!
>> YOU'RE NOT TICKLISH, ARE YOU?
>> [ LAUGHING ] S-STOP!
>> OPEN YOUR EYES, AND I'LL STOP!
>> NO, I WON'T OPEN MY EYES!
[ LAUGHING ] >> OOH, I'VE GOT YOUR NOSE!
>> GIVE IT BACK!
>> YOU'LL HAVE TO OPEN YOUR EYES!
>> DON'T, MARION!
DON'T OPEN YOUR EYES!
>> BUT HE'S GOT MY NOSE, INDY!
>> DON'T OPEN YOUR EYES!
IT'S NOT YOUR REAL NOSE!
>> LOOKS LIKE THEY AREN'T GONNA OPEN THEIR EYES, GUYS!
LET'S JUST LEAVE.
>> OKAY, WE'RE LEAVING!
SEE YOU LATER.
BYE.
WE LEFT.
>> WE KNOW YOU'RE STILL THERE.
>> COME ON, MAN!
JUST OPEN YOUR EYES!
>> NO!
MARION, DON'T OPEN YOUR EYES!
>> SCREW THIS, MAN!
I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT OF THAT ARK IN 3,000 YEARS!
I'M NOT GONNA WASTE MY TIME WITH THESE SQUARES.
>> HE'S RIGHT.
LET'S JUST GO.
[ THUNDER RUMBLES ] >> WE KNOW YOU'RE STILL OUT
THERE!
WE'RE NOT OPENING OUR EYES!
SO, WE'RE -- WE'RE GONNA KEEP THEM CLOSED!
>> TIMMY, DON'T SIT SO CLOSE TO THE TV.
IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU.
>> ONE DAY IN THE CONCRETE JUNGLE OF NOOL, AN ELEPHANT
NAMED MORTON PLAYED HOOKY FROM SCHOOL.
HE WAS CHILLIN' ON THE STOOP, JUST PEACIN' ON THE BLOCK, WHEN
ONTO HIS TRUNK LANDED A TINY CRACK ROCK.
HE THOUGHT...
>> I COULD SELL THIS, MAKE FIVE OR SIX BUCKS.
>> BUT THEN HE HEARD A TINY VOICE THAT HOLLERED...
>> WHAT, WHAT?!
>> MORTON LISTENED CLOSELY AND HELD VERY STILL.
HE COULD HEAR TINY VOICES IN THE TOWN OF WHAT-WHAT-VILLE.
THEY WERE HAVING A PARTY WITH A DEEJAY IN THE CUT, AND EVERYBODY
WAS YELLING...
>> All: WHAT, WHAT?!
>> MORTON HAD A NEW PURPOSE.
HE FELT A NEW DRIVE -- TO HIDE THE ROCK AND KEEP THE PARTY
ALIVE!
HE WALKED DOWN THE STREET, AND OUT OF THE BLUE, HE CAME
FACE-TO-FACE WITH CRACKHEAD KANGAROO.
SHE WAS SHAKING AND TWITCHING.
HER EYELIDS WERE BLACK.
SHE SAID...
>> M-M-M-MORTON!
I-I-I'LL SUCK YOUR C-C-C-[BLEEP] FOR THAT CRACK!
>> WELL, SOMETIMES AN ELEPHANT JUST HAS TO NUT.
SO THAT WAS THE END OF THE WORLD OF...
>> WHAT, WHAT?!
WHAT? WHAT?!
WHAT?!! WHAT?!!
>> YOU SIT HERE TODAY AND ACCUSE MY CLIENT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT,
BUT ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOUR PAPER JAMS DREW HIM TO YOUR
SENSITIVE PARTS?
LET'S ADMIT IT.
YOU WANTED HIM TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU!
YOU WANTED IT!
>> MEGATRON IS DESTROYED.
THE WORLD IS SAFE.
JAZZ, MY FRIEND, WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.
>> WHAT'S THE SITCHES, BITCHES?
>> JAZZ!
WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!
>> TORN IN HALF, THAT'S ALL!
WE'RE ROBOTS, MAN!
JUST SOLDER MY ASS BACK TOGETHER!
YEAH!
>> SADLY, YOU DIED IN GLORIOUS BATTLE.
>> NAH.
IT'S JUST A MINOR SETBACK.
WAIT!
I CAN STILL TRANSFORM!
HOLD ON!
I'M COMING!
OW!
OH, YOU'RE TOO FAST!
OW!
WAIT FOR ME, FELLAS!
[ GASPS ] OH, NO!
OH, MY GOD, DOES THAT HURT!
OW!
>> HEY, MY EX-GIRLFRIEND.
HOW DO YOU EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?
>> [ CLEARS THROAT ] I PRETEND THE PEANUT BUTTER IS
YOUR SOUL, AND I SUCK IT OUT, AND THEN I CRUSH THE REMAINING
EMPTY HUSK IN MY CRUEL, COLD FIST.
>> ♪ WE ARE SAILING UNDERWATER-ATER-ATER ♪
♪ ALL THE FISHES LOOK DELICIOUS ♪
♪ COLORS, DRUGS, RAINBOWS, AND HUGS ♪
>> WAIT! BE QUIET!
SOMETHING'S SHOWING UP ON THE RADAR!
>> MAYBE IT'S RINGO'S LUNCH.
HE ATE A BIG SANDWICH.
>> I STILL HAVE SAND IN ME MOUTH.
[ SPITS ] >> Shhhhh!
LOOK!
>> SANDWICHES ARE ME BREAD AND BUTTER.
>> GOOD ONE, JOHN.
>> DAMN IT! SHUT THE HELL UP!
IT'S A SUBMARINE FROM THE LAND OF THE BLUE MEANIES -- THE
DREADED BLUE OCTOBER!
I'M GONNA SEND THEM A PING.
[ PING! ] >> WAS THAT...A PING?
>> YES, SIR!
>> YOU KNOW WE DON'T SAY "YES" IN MEANIE LAND.
>> OH, SORRY.
NO, SIR.
SHOULD I PING THEM BACK, SIR?
>> NO.
>> NO?
>> NO.
I SAID "NO."
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
>> NO.
>> PING THEM BACK.
>> YES, SIR!
I MEAN, NO, SIR.
[ PING! ] >> THEY PINGED US BACK!
>> I KNOW.
MY EARS ARE STILL PINGING.
>> HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA.
WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD?
>> ACID.
>> AFTER THAT.
>> LOVE.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
MAYBE THOSE MEANIES IN THE BLUE OCTOBER DON'T WANT TO
DECLARE WAR.
MAYBE THEY WANT TO DECLARE LOVE AND DEFECT TO PEPPERLAND.
>> THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
LET'S SING A SONG ABOUT LOVE.
>> ♪ LOVE YOUR LOVE WITH LOVE ♪ >> THEY'RE SINGING.
MAYBE THEY KNOW WE'RE TRYING TO DEFECT TO PEPPERLAND.
>> SIR, ANOTHER SUBMARINE FROM MEANIE LAND FOLLOWED US!
>> OPEN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT!
FIRE!
>> ANOTHER SUBMARINE FIRED A GLOVE AT THE BLUE OCTOBER!
>> I KNOW WHAT TO DO.
STEER OUR SUBMARINE STRAIGHT TOWARD THE GLOVE!
>> YOU'RE CRAZY!
WE'LL ALL DIE!
>> WHO CARES?
WE'RE JUST CARTOONS.
>> SPOOL FEED AHEAD!
>> SHOULD I ARM THE GLOVE, SIR?
>> YES, YES!
NO!
>> OOH, LOOK.
A HOLE.
[ ZIP! ] >> WHAT HAPPENED?
WHY DIDN'T IT EXPLODE?
PERISCOPE!
[ SQUISH! ] OHHH [BLEEP]
[ DING! ] [ ALL CHEER ]
>> LOOK AT US!
WHIP WHIP HOORAY!
>> HOLE IN ONE, RINGO.
HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WOULD WORK?
>> I DIDN'T.
I'M ON ACID.
>> WAY TO GO, RINGO.
MAYBE NOW YOU CAN SLEEP WITH THE GROUPIES FIRST.
>> REALLY?
>> NO.
>> [ LAUGHS ] >> I'M LAUGHING AT RINGO!
>> IT'S ALWAYS FUNNY WHEN IT'S AT YOUR EXPENSE.
>> I'M ON ACID.
>> WHAT THE...?
[ SIGHS ] >> ABRACADABRA!
>> OH!
>> PRESTO!
>> OH.
>> [ LAUGHS ] >> OH, I HATE PROCESSING
MAGICIANS.
>> MA, DON'T TEACH CHELSEA THAT GIRLY CRAP.
THIS ISN'T THE DARK AGES.
HERE.
>> OH, AND A FASHION DOLL WITH BIG WATERMELON BOOBS TEACHES THE
RIGHT LESSONS, HUH?
THAT'S -- THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> BARBIE IS A FREAKING RACE-CAR DRIVER THESE DAYS, MA.
SHE BUNGEE-JUMPS AND PARASAILS, AND I THINK THERE'S EVEN A
BOMB-DISPOSAL-ROBOT ACCESSORY.
>> THANK YOU FOR THE BARBIE.
[ CREAK ] >> GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING,
ESPECIALLY MATH.
LET ME BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR ABOUT THAT.
>> ALL RIGHT, BARBIE!
LET'S HAVE ADVENTURES!
>> [ GASPS ] [ Voice breaking ] THAT'S HER!
THAT'S MY LITTLE GIRL!
>> HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
>> WELL, CHELSEA'S RACE CAR HIT THE WALL AT SPEEDS IN EXCESS OF
200 MILES AN HOUR, SO -- PFFT?
>> RACE CAR?
WHERE DID SHE GET A RACE CAR?
>> GIRLS THESE DAYS HAVE ALL SORTS OF ADVENTURES, MA'AM.
THIS ISN'T THE DARK AGES.
>> SHE WAS 8 YEARS OLD!
>> AT LEAST SHE DIED DOING WHAT SHE LOVED, MA.
>> [ Crying ] SHE LOVED KNITTING!
>> YES, THAT'S LOVELY.
NOW, IF YOU COULD JUST FILL OUT SOME FORMS.
>> CHELSEA.
THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
WHORE!
[ EVIL LAUGHTER ] >> THIS IS LEX LUTHOR.
ONLY ONE THING ALIVE ON LESS THAN FOUR LEGS CAN HEAR THIS
FREQUENCY, SUPERMAN, AND THAT'S YOU.
IN APPROXIMATELY FIVE MINUTES, A POISONOUS GAS WILL FLOOD THE
CITY, ANNIHILATING HALF OF METROPOLIS.
IT SEEMS EXCESSIVE, BUT HOW ELSE WAS I GOING TO MEET YOU,
SUPERMAN?
AFTER ALL, YOU'D NEVER ACCEPT AN INVITATION TO TEA.
[ KITTENS MEOWING ] BUT A DISASTER WITH CITIZENS IN
DANGER -- WELL, I JUST KNEW YOU WOULDN'T RESIST THE CHANCE TO
HELP.
>> OW!
OW!
[ LAUGHS ] OW!
[ MOANS ] OW!
>> FLUBBER BRAND CONDOMS, ON SALE NOW!
[ ALARM BELL RINGING ] >> WHERE'S THAT NEW DRIVER YOU
HIRED?
[ TIRES SCREECH ] >> WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
>> I'M THE BEST!
>> LET'S GO!
>> THERE'S FOUR OF YOU!
>> WHO CARES?
NOW DRIVE!
>> THE DEAL WAS TRANSPORTATION FOR THREE MEN WHOSE COMBINED
WEIGHT DID NOT EXCEED 250 KILOS!
>> WELL, THIS IS A NEW DEAL!
NOW DRIVE!
>> ONE OF YOU HAS TO GO!
>> ARE YOU NUTS?!
THEY'RE ALMOST HERE!
[ GUN COCKS ] >> THAT'S BETTER!
HEE-HEE!
HERE WE GO!
[ ENGINE REVS ] >> COME ON, MAN!
THEY'RE GAINING ON US!
>> I ALWAYS COME PREPARED!
[ PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! ] >> WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
BANANA PEELS?
>> WHOA!
ACTUALLY, THEY ARE SURPRISINGLY EFFECTIVE!
>> WHOO-HOO-HOO!
>> LOOK OUT!
[ WHOOSH! ] >> ARE THOSE GREEN TURTLES?
>> WHATEVER THEY ARE, THEY'RE GETTING SHOT!
>> NO!
GREEN TURTLES ARE IN DANGER!
[ TIRES SQUEAL ] >> YAHOO!
YAHOO!
>> YOU'RE NOT GONNA TRY TO SMASH THROUGH THAT, ARE YOU?
>> I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I'M THE BEST!
YAHOO!
YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YAHOO!
DON'T WORRY!
THEY WON'T FOLLOW US OUT HERE!
[ SIRENS WAIL ] >> I THOUGHT YOU SAID THEY
WOULDN'T FOLLOW US!
>> ONCE WE'RE ACROSS THAT BRIDGE, WE'RE HOME FREE!
>> HE'S GAINING ON US!
DO SOMETHING!
>> WE'RE ALMOST THERE!
>> HE'S GONNA CATCH US!
USE ONE OF THE THINGS!
>> NO! NOT THAT ONE!
THE BLUE TURTLE SHELL ALWAYS SEEKS OUT...
THE LEAD CAR.
AAAAAAAAAH!
>> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
BA-GAWK! BAWK.