[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!
>> [ CRACKS KNUCKLES ] [ PLAYING SCALES OFF-KEY ]
>> WINNER OF THE PALME D'OR AT THE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL.
DANIEL DAY-LEWIS IS...
"THE HUMPING ROBOT."
>> FROM THE MOMENT I WAS ENGINEERED, I KNEW I WAS A...
DIFFERENT KIND OF ROBOT.
I DON'T CARE IF I RUST!
I JUST WANT [Echoing] LOVE!
>> AND KATE WINSLET AS...
THE WASHING MACHINE.
>> I WANT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, MARIAN -- I DIDN'T COME HERE TO
DO MY LAUNDRY.
>> WELL, WHAT DID YOU COME FOR, THEN?
[ BOTH SMOOCH ] >> YES!
YES, I'M FRONT-LOADING YOU!
>> OH, YES, DARLING!
OH, DARLING!
>> THIS SHOULD BE WRONG, BUT IT FEELS SO RIGHT!
>> I'M SORRY.
IT'S MEDICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR A ROBOT AND A WASHING MACHINE TO
HAVE CHILDREN.
>> [ CRIES ] NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!
>> NEW YORK TIMES SAYS "WEIRD, SUPREMELY CONFUSING.
DAY-LEWIS IS A TOUR DE FORCE."
>> OH.
>> THE LOS ANGELES TIMES RAVES, "DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE."
"THE HUMPING ROBOT"...
THRUSTING AT YOUR FACE THIS SUMMER.
[ CAN RATTLES ] [ AIR HORN BLOWS ]
[ EPIC MUSIC PLAYING ] >> ♪ ADVENTURE ♪
♪ ADVENTURE ♪ ♪ ADVENTU-U-U-U-U-U-RE ♪
♪ ACTION ♪ ♪ EXCITEMENT ♪
♪ ADVENTU-U-U-U-U-U-RE ♪ ♪ HEARTS RACE, PALMS SWEAT,
MINDS EXPLODE ♪ ♪ ADVENTURE ♪
♪ SUCH SIGHTS YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN ♪
♪ WILL LIVE IN MY DREAM ♪ ♪ HUMAN IMAGINATIONS COULD
NOT COMPREHEND IT ♪ ♪ ADVENTURE ♪
♪ ADVENTURE ♪
♪ ADVENTU-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-RE ♪
>> HEY, MAN.
WHAT YOU IN FOR?
>> JOHN, THIS IS CAMERON, YOUR NEW TERMINATOR.
>> [ Laughing ] WOW!
>> SHE'LL FOLLOW YOUR COMMANDS, DEFEND YOU FROM DANGER, AND
NEVER, EVER QUIT.
>> UNDERSTOOD, MOM.
I'LL TAKE HER ON A TEST RUN TO DETERMINE HER FULL CAPABILITIES.
[ WOMEN GIGGLING ] >> VIDEO MEMORY FULL.
>> WHAT DID YOU SAY?
>> I SAID, "MY VAGINA'S BLEEDING."
>> OH...
OH...
>> OH, LOOK, EVERYBODY.
HERE COMES CRYBABY JOHNNY.
YOU WANT ANOTHER WEDGIE, CRYBABY?
WHY DON'T YOU CRY IT OFF?
[ BABBLES ] WAAH!
[ MOANING ] AAAAAAAAH! HAAAH!
HAAAH! HAAAAAAH!
>> YOU'RE SO HOT.
>> [ HUMMING ] >> THERE'S ONE LAST SYSTEM TO
CHECK OUT, MOM.
[ ZIPPER OPENS ] YEAH! MMM!
YEAH! OH!
FEELS LIKE A REAL GIRL!
SAY IT!
>> COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.
>> YES! YE-E-E-E-E-S! OH!
[ CAN RATTLES ] [ AIR HORN BLOWS ]
[ SIREN WAILS ] >> Care to try a bonus meal
today?
>> NO!
WHY ASSSSSK THAT, ASSSSS IF YOU COULD INFLUENCCCE MY DECCCISION
RIGHT BEFORE I ORDER?
>> What would you like, Sir?
>> YESSSS.
I'LL HAVE A SSSSMALL SSSSPRITE AND A --
>> Could you repeat that?
I'm getting a hissing noise.
>> I SSSSSAID, I'LL HAVE A SSSSSMALL SSSSSPRITE AND --
>> Could you speak more clearly, Sir?
>> UGH!
>> TELL HIM I WANT SEVEN SUPERSIZED SPECIAL SANDWICHES.
>> WITH SWEET-AND-SOUR SAUCE.
>> YOU'RE ALL DOING THIS ON PURPOSSSSE!
>> I'LL HAVE A HAMBURGER.
>> THANK YOU, SSSSSSEBASTIAN.
>> [ WHISPERS ] >> OH, WITH A STRAWBERRY SHAKE.
>> AAH!
[ HORN HONKS ] >> READY TO TALK, MOCKINGBIRD?
>> "READY TO TALK, MOCKINGBIRD?" >> AAH!
I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING.
SCOUT, SEE IF THE COAST IS CLEAR.
>> COAST IS CLEAR, FINCH.
>> GOOD, 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD.
>> YAAH!
UGH!
>> JEM! JEM!
USE YOUR GEMSTONES!
[ WHIR! ] >> AAAAAAH!
>> Both: YEAH!
>> AND...THAT'S MY BOOK REPORT ON "HOW TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD"
BY LEE...HARPER OSWALD...
OR WHOEVER.
>> COULDN'T EVEN SPRING FOR THE CliffsNotes, HUH?
[ WHACK! ] >> SMILES, EVERYONE.
SMILES.
OUR GUESTS ARE HERE TO HAVE THEIR FANTASIES COME TRUE.
I TRUST YOUR FLIGHT WAS ENJOYABLE.
>> YEAH, IT WAS GREAT.
UM, ENOUGH WITH THE CHITCHAT, THOUGH.
WHEN DO I GET TO [BLEEP] A DONKEY?
>> I-I BEG YOUR PARDON?
>> WHEN DO I GET...TO...[BLEEP] A DONKEY?
>> S-SURELY YOU HAVE ANOTHER FANTASY YOU'D LIKE TO --
>> NO, NO.
YOU GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN, OR AM I GONNA KICK YOUR ASS?
>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
MY FANTASY IS TO KICK HIS ASS.
>> WHAT?
>> YEAH, I WANT TO BEAT THE MOTHER [BLEEP] [BLEEP] OUT OF
YOUR FOREIGN-ASS HEAD.
THAT'S MY FANTASY.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOUR FANTASIES ARE SUPPOSED TO INVOLVE A-AN IDENTICAL TWIN OR
A-A -- OR -- OR A FAMILY MEMBER BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE FOR A DAY.
I-IMAGINE BEING THE PRESIDENT OF YOUR OWN COUNTRY.
>> DOES THAT MIDGET DO ANAL?
>> Sí.
YES, I DO.
>> UM, LIKE, HEY, DAD?
>> YEAH?
>> I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING, LIKE, REAL PERSONAL.
>> OKAY.
>> DO YOU DOUCHE?
>> I SURE DO.
BUT ONLY WITH MAXIMUM DOUCHE.
>> WHY MAXIMUM DOUCHE?
>> IT'S THE ONLY DOUCHE FOR MEN, AND IT KEEPS MY DOUCHE FACTOR
GOING ALL DAY LONG.
>> ♪ TALKIN' 'BOUT THE MAXIMUM DOUCHE ♪
♪ DOUCHIN' TO THE MAXIMUM ♪ ♪ WON'T SETTLE FOR A MINIMUM
DOUCHE ♪ ♪ IT'S GOT TO BE THE
MAXIMUM DOUCHE ♪ >> HEY, THANKS, DAD.
>> DON'T BE A HOMO.
>> MAXIMUM DOUCHE -- IT PUTS BEING A DOUCHE IN THE BAG.
>> [ Wheezing ] WHERE'S MY INHALER?
MY INHALER -- I NEED IT.
SAVE ME, INHALER.
[ INHALES DEEPLY ] [ AIR HORN BLOWS ]
>> MAN, I WISH I COULD VISIT THE LAND OF OZ.
THAT WOULD BE SO COOL.
SO COOL...
[ HARP PLAYS ] BUT ACTUALLY, IT WOULD BE MUCH
COOLER TO VISIT A TOPLESS BEACH IN FRANCE.
THAT WOULD BE SO COOL.
SO COOL...
[ HARP PLAYS ] [ "LA MARSEILLAISE" PLAYS ]
HELLO, FRENCH BOOBIES!
AW, DANG IT.
>> PUT ON THESE RUBY SLIPPERS AND FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK
ROAD.
>> UM, DO YOU HAVE ANY ROADS THAT GO TO TOPLESS BEACHES?
>> PERHAPS THERE ARE TOPLESS BEACHES AT THE EMERALD CITY!
BUT -- BUT PROBABLY NOT.
>> CAN I TAP THESE SHOES TOGETHER THREE TIMES AND WISH...
>> Both: TO GO TO A TOPLESS BEACH?
>> NO.
THE STORY DON'T WORK THAT WAY, KID.
>> HERE I AM, HAVING AN ADVENTURE IN THE LAND OF OZ.
YAY.
>> WELL, HIYA!
MY HEAD IS STUFFED WITH STRAW.
>> YEAH, HI.
THAT'S PRETTY NEAT, I GUESS.
WAIT!
THIS IS MY DREAM, SO IF I WANT IT TO BE SUPERCOOL, ALL I HAVE
TO DO IS DREAM IT!
BE SUPERCOOL.
BE SUPERCO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OL!
BE IT!
[ CROW SQUAWKS ] >> I SEEK VENGEANCE.
>> YES!
>> IF I ONLY HAD A HEART.
>> TAKE MINE.
IT'S BROUGHT ME NOTHING BUT PAIN.
>> HANG ON.
LET ME TRY SOMETHING.
BE SUPERCOOL.
>> LET'S TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT AND STOMP A MUDHOLE IN SOME
DECEPTICON ASS SO HARD, WE WON'T STOP UNTIL WE'RE WEARING SOCKS
MADE OF DRIED [BLEEP] >> OH, YES!
♪ LA, LA-LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ SKIPPING ALONG WITH MY FRIENDS ♪
>> [ Shakily ] GROWL.
I'M JUST A BIG OLD COWARDLY -- >> BE SUPERCOOL.
>> LION-O -- LEADER OF THE THUNDERCATS.
>> OH, OH, OH!
[ GIGGLES ] >> OH!
I MUST HAVE THOSE RUBY SLIPPERS!
>> SHEESH!
CHICKS AND SHOES.
AM I RIGHT, FELLAS?
HAH!
[ WHACK! ] >> FLYING MONKEYS, BRING ME THE
NERD AND HIS PATHETIC FRIENDS!
[ ALL CHATTER ] [ RUMBLING ]
>> OH, YEAH!
>> WHEEEE!
>> WHAT THE [BLEEP] >> DID SOMEBODY ORDER SOME RUBY
SLIPPERS?
>> [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] OKAY, FELLAS, TAKE IT EASY.
>> 'CAUSE HERE'S A SPECIAL DELIVERY...
>> All: RIGHT UP YOUR ASS!
>> GET THEM!
>> THUNDER.
THUNDER.
THUNDERCATS -- HO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!
[ GRUNTING ] CAN'T...QUITE...REACH THEM.
>> KEEP SAYING "THUNDER"!
>> THUNDER! THUNDER! THUNDER!
THUNDER! THUNDER! THUNDER!
THUNDER! THUNDER!
HA HA HA HA!
YEAH!
THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER!
>> [ GRUNTS ] THEY'RE TOO FAST!
>> JUST TRANSFORM!
TRUST ME.
[ BONG! ] >> HA HA HA!
WELL, THAT'S JUST PRIME.
>> YOUR MAGICALLY APPEARING TRAILER IRRITATED FANS OF THE
CARTOON, BUT NOW IT'S YOUR GREATEST WEAPON!
>> 10-4, GOOD BUDDY.
YEAH!
EAT GRILLE!
FROM THE LEFT!
[ BONG! ] >> HA HA HA! YOU'LL NEVER WIN!
>> IT DOESN'T MATTER.
EXISTENCE IS NOTHING BUT FRUSTRATION AND PAIN.
EVERYTHING YOU LOVE EVENTUALLY LEAVES YOU.
MISERY IS YOUR ONLY CONSTANT FRIEND.
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
[ CROW SQUAWKS ] >> YES!
[ BOTH SQUAWK ] >> [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
OH, COME ON, NOW, FELLAS.
I WAS JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH THAT "KILL THEM!" THING.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] LET'S JUST TAKE IT EASY.
>> WELL, THERE'S ONLY TWO WAYS TO KILL A WICKED WITCH, AND I
DON'T SEE ANY FALLING FARMHOUSES AROUND HERE.
HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE.
>> OH, NO!
NO!
NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!
I'M MELTING!
MELTING!
WHAT A WORLD.
>> THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY THIS DREAM COULD GET EVEN BETTER.
>> All: FRENCH BOOBIES!
[ "LA MARSEILLAISE" PLAYS ]