[ THUNDER CRASHING ]
[ DRILLING, SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]
>> IT'S ALIVE!
>> LIFT-OFF IN 3...
2...
1...
IGNITION.
>> SIR, LAUNCH FAILURE!
LAUNCH FAILURE!
>> OH, MY KIDS 6 TO 12!
SCRAMBLE EMERGENCY CREWS!
AND SOMEONE BETTER GET ME
ANSWERS -- AND NOW!
>> WE'RE TRYING, SIR.
MOST OF THESE COMPUTERS ARE JUST
PAINTED ON!
>> DAMN BUDGET CUTS!
[ EXPLOSIONS ]
>> AAH!
[ SIREN WAILS, HORN BLARES ]
[ BOTH SCREAMING ]
>> THE PILOTS ARE STILL INSIDE!
IT'S NO USE!
THE WINDOW AND THE AXE ARE MADE
OF THE SAME MATERIAL!
THEY'RE DONE FOR.
[ HORN HONKS ]
>> OUT OF MY WAY!
[ ENGINE REVVING ]
LET'S SEE HOW THIS DOOR LIKES
450 HORSEPOWER.
[ POINK! ]
>> OH, IT'S A NO GO!
THE CABLE SNAPPED LIKE IT WAS
MADE OF THREAD!
>> AAH! THEY'RE BURNING ALIVE!
THEIR FACES!
THEIR HORRIBLE FACES!
>> WELL, IT WOULD APPEAR THAT
THERE WAS A MISSING 1x2 BRICK
FROM THE SPACE-SHUTTLE ASSEMBLY
KIT.
IT WAS BELIEVED AT THE TIME THAT
WE COULD FINISH THE VESSEL
WITHOUT AFFECTING THE DEMANDING
LAUNCH SCHEDULE.
IN HINDSIGHT --
>> AAH! IT'S ALL OUR FAULT!
WE WERE PLAYING GOD, AND YOU
KNOW IT!
[ PEOPLE GASPING, SCREAMING ]
[ CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING ]
>> OH!
>> AND THEN, AT THE FUNERAL, THE
LEGO ASTRONAUT'S WIFE MEETS HER
HUSBAND'S MISTRESS.
>> DOES SHE HAVE BIG TITS?
>> MAY I JOIN YOU?
>> OF COURSE, MR. BOND.
>> AAH!
UNGH!
[ THUD ]
[ ALL CHEERING ]
>> AWESOME!
>> THAT WAS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!
>> I'VE NEVER --
[ MUFFLED SCREAMING ]
>> AND TOP OFF THAT HAPPY MEAL
WITH A TASTY APPLE PIE.
WARNING -- APPLE PIES ARE HOT.
DO NOT STICK YOUR [BLEEP] IN
THE McDONALD'S APPLE PIE.
>> WHAT DO YOU CALL
WILMER VALDERRAMA'S MOM?
A FEZ DISPENSER!
OH!
I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!
>> MOMMY, THOSE PEOPLE LOOK LIKE
ANTS.
>> OH, THAT'S BECAUSE WE'RE
LANDING IN THE KINGDOM OF THE
ANTS!
>> AAAH!
>> AH-HA! I GOT YOU.
I'M JUST KIDDING.
>> WOULD YOU MIND KEEPING IT
DOWN?
I'M TRYING TO READ.
[ BOTH SCREAM ]
[ BOTH SLURPING ]
>> OH, WHAT THE [BLEEP]
[ WOOD CREAKING ]
>> OH, NO! NO, NO, NO!
>> OKAY, GUYS, ANDY'S ALMOST
HOME FROM COLLEGE FOR SPRING
BREAK!
[ ALL CHEER ]
>> WHY WOULD THEY CELEBRATE A
SPRING BREAKING?
THAT'S THE SADDEST TIME FOR ME.
>> [ Chuckling ] OH, SLINK.
>> SILLY CANINE.
>> WHAT A FREAKING JERK.
>> ANDY'S HERE!
>> ALL RIGHT, LADIES!
SINGLE FILE, FRONT AND CENTER!
COMMANDER IN CHIEF ON THE
PREMISES!
>> YOU MEAN OBAMA?
>> HE'S NOT MY PRESIDENT.
[ BOTH SMOOCHING, MOANING ]
>> TELL MY STORY!
>> Etch!
What's going on up there?
[ ALL GROAN ]
>> OH, LORD!
>> [ VOMITS ]
>> YOU'VE GOT TO HELP THAT GIRL,
SARGE.
>> OH, GOD!
SHE WON'T STOP SCREAMING!
WHAT DOES "[BLEEP] MY [BLEEP]
BOX DRY" EVEN MEAN?!
>> THIS IS AWESOME!
[ SQUISH ]
>> OH! OOF!
AW, DAMN IT!
I LEFT MY FAVORITE TOY BACK AT
THE DORM.
>> HIS FAVORITE TOY?
>> TIME TO IMPROVISE.
>> AAH!
>> WHAT'S HE DOING WITH BUZZ?
[ PLASTIC CREAKING ]
>> YES!
AND READY FOR A TEST DRIVE.
[ LIGHTER FLICKS ]
>> HE DIDN'T. NOT BUZZ.
>> [ INHALING DEEPLY ]
[ WATER BUBBLING ]
[ Exhaling ] TO INFINITY AND
BEYOND!
DOMINO, MOTHER [BLEEP]
[ LAUGHS ]
>> BUZZ?
>> BUZZED BY BUZZ!
>> YOU OKAY?
>> [ Goofy voice ] HELLO, WOODY!
[ GASPS ]
DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY DADDY DID?
POOP!
HE POOPED!
♪ BOOP-DE-DOOP DOOP BOOP ♪
AH, SOMEBODY LEFT SOME POOP IN
HIS PANTS.
>> IT'S OKAY, PAL.
WE'RE HERE FOR YOU.
>> AND THE FARMER, HE HAULS...
ANOTHER LOAD AWAY!
BYE, LOAD! BYE, LOAD!
>> [ CRIES ]
[ Voice breaking ] GOOD NIGHT,
SWEET PRINCE.
>> WE GONNA PLAY TOMORROW?
>> YOU BET, PAL. YOU BET.
>> TO INFINITY...
[ MUFFLED SHOUTING ]
[ SHOUTING STOPS ]
>> AND BEYOND.
[ CRIES ]
>> GARFIELD, WE HAVE SOME BAD
NEWS.
>> OH, SOMEONE GOT A CASE OF THE
MONDAYS?
>> YOU HAVE TYPE-2 DIABETES.
>> OH, GARFIELD!
YOUR LOVE OF LASAGNA WAS YOUR
UNDOING.
>> ACTUALLY, HIS ASTOUNDINGLY
IRRESPONSIBLE OWNER WAS HIS
UNDOING.
>> WHOA!
GARFIELD PLAYS BY HIS OWN RULES,
LIZ.
>> WE NEED TO REMOVE ALL FOUR
FEET.
>> W-WHAT? HANDS, TOO?
>> YOU DON'T HAVE HANDS,
GARFIELD.
YOU'RE NOT PEOPLE.
YOU'RE A PET WITH NO JOB OR
INCOME WHO SOMEHOW MANAGED TO
CONSUME ENORMOUS QUANTITIES OF
ITALIAN CUISINE YEAR AFTER YEAR.
>> [ SIGHS ]
HOW MUCH IS THIS GOING TO COST?
>> OH, ABOUT $2,200.
>> UH, NO. NO.
>> JON?
>> YOU DID THIS TO HIM!
>> THAT'S LIKE A USED CAR, MAN!
I CAN'T DROP THAT KIND OF CASH
INTO A 13-YEAR-OLD CAT!
UNH-UNH.
NO.
NO!
NEGATORY, GOOD BUDDY.
NOT GIVIN' YOU -- NO.
>> WHAT'S IT GONNA BE,
GARFIELD TWO -- DRY FOOD OR
SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS?!
[ KITTEN MEOWS ]
EXCELLENT.
I KNEW YOU'D MAKE THE RIGHT
CHOICE.
>> ATTENTION, EVERYONE.
WE ARE NOW IN ORBIT AROUND THE
PLANET OF HOT CHICKS WHO TURN
OUT TO BE MONSTERS.
BUT THEY'RE FRIENDLY MONSTERS,
AND THEY'RE VERY HORNY.
UNFORTUNATELY, THEY HAVE
RAZOR-SHARP TEETH IN THEIR
VAGINAS.
ALTHOUGH THEY DO HAVE 10 BREASTS
EACH.
OH, AND THE SHIP IS ON FIRE.
[ METALLIC BANGING ]
>> EVERYONE REMEMBERS THE HEROIC
HEROISM THAT MADE
CAPTAIN "SULLY" SULLENBERGER A
HERO.
BUT WHILE ONE HERO WAS BORN,
ANOTHER DIED IN THE BOWELS OF
THE JET ENGINE --
LAUNCHPAD McQUACK.
FOR NOT FILING AN FAA FLIGHT
PLAN, HE AND 17 SEAGULLS PAID
THE ULTIMATE PRICE.
ALL TOO COMMON.
THE DECADE WE CALLED THE '90s
INTRODUCED CHARACTERS WE THOUGHT
WE'D NEVER FORGET, AND THEN WE
DID.
DARKWING DUCK REMEMBERS.
LAUNCHPAD WAS HIS SIDEKICK FROM
1991 TO 1995.
>> OH, THAT IDIOT!
I LOST EVERYTHING IN THE FLIGHT
1549 CLASS-ACTION LAWSUIT.
AND LIFE, BEING A CRUEL BITCH,
NOW MY DAUGHTER GOSALYN HERE
NEEDS MONEY FOR A KIDNEY
TRANSPLANT.
SO I'VE DONATED MY BODY.
>> TO SCIENCE?
>> TO THIS CHINESE RESTAURANT.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
HEY, HEY, HOLD ON! WAIT!
HOLD ON!
YOU SAID THIS WOULD BE HUMANE!
WAIT! WAIT! STOP! STOP!
WHAT THE HELL?!
HEY, AT LEAST SLIT MY THROAT
FIRST!
AAH! KILL ME!
COME ON, WHAT THE [BLEEP]
AAH! AAAAAAH!!
>> LIVE ONES COOK BETTER.
>> THERE'S WALDO.
HE HID FROM OUR EYES, BUT NEVER
FROM OUR HEARTS.
LATER, HE BECAME A FOLLOWER OF
THE REVEREND MOONRISE SUNBEAM
AND TOOK UP PERMANENT RESIDENCE
ON HIS COMPOUND.
WELL, I GOT TIRED OF ALWAYS
STANDING OUT IN THE CROWD.
FROM NOW ON, I JUST WANT TO BE
PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER, MAN.
>> BROTHER WALDO, COME JOIN US
FOR SOME FRUIT PUNCH.
>> ON AUGUST 12, 1998, ALL OF
AMERICA PLAYED "WHERE'S WALDO"
ONE LAST TIME ON CNN.
THERE HE IS.
MESAGOG PLANNED TO SEND THE
EARTH BACK TO THE MESOZOIC
ERA -- THAT IS, UNTIL THE
POWER RANGERS DEFEATED HIM WITH
MILD GYMNASTICS.
TURNING HUMANITY INTO
DINOSAURS -- HOW'S THAT GOING?
>> WELL, I ASSUME YOU'RE BEING
FACETIOUS, SINCE AS YOU CAN
CLEARLY SEE, I'M NOW THE MANAGER
OF A WENDY'S.
I'M TRYING TO TREAT IT LIKE A
MINOR SETBACK.
THE BIG ROADBLOCK WAS THE
DINOSAUR DNA --
>> MR. MESAGOG! MR. MESAGOG!
YO, TRIPLE STACK -- DOES IT GO
CHEESE, BACON, MEAT, CHEESE,
BACON, MEAT, CHEESE, BACON,
MEAT; OR MEAT, BACON, CHEESE,
MEAT, BACON, CHEESE, MEAT,
BACON, CHEESE; OR BACON, BACON,
CHEESE, BACON, MEAT, CHEESE,
MEAT, MEAT?
I ALWAYS FORGET, YO.
>> CHEESE, BACON, MEAT, MEAT,
MEAT, BACON, CHEESE, BACON,
CHEESE.
>> FOR A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE,
I CAUGHT UP WITH PINKY AND THE
BRAIN, STILL INCARCERATED AT
ACME LABS AS TEST SUBJECTS.
>> OH, THE GLORY DAYS WHEN ME
AND BRAIN WAS MATES.
NARF!
MOVED HIM TO A DIFFERENT CAGE,
SEE?
'MEMBER HIS BIG NOGGIN? ZORT!
THOUGHT HE WAS SMART, BUT IT WAS
PAGET'S DISEASE.
>> SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE
CRIPPLING ARTHRITIS.
OH, AND I'M BLIND.
>> SO, PINKY --
>> WHAT'D YOU SAY, FRIEND?
YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK INTO THE
GIANT HUMAN EAR!
TROZ!
>> OOH!
REMEMBER DARIA?
I KNOW. YUCK!
I WAS ANXIOUS TO GET AN
ACERBIC, DRY-WITTED TAKE ON
THE TUMULTUOUS '90s FROM THIS
ANTI-FEMININE, BASICALLY
ASEXUAL, BOY-REPELLING
TRAIN WRECK.
THANKS FOR SITTING DOWN WITH US,
DARIA.
>> IT'S DARYL NOW.
ALL THOSE YEARS, I THOUGHT I WAS
AN EXCEPTIONALLY GROSS GIRL,
WHEN, IN FACT, I WAS A BEAUTIFUL
MAN.
>> I SEE. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
>> WELL, FIRST THEY ENLARGED MY
CLITORIS WITH ANDROGENIC
HORMONES.
THEN THEY FASHIONED MY LABIA
INTO A MAKESHIFT SCROTUM.
>> [ VOMITS ]
>> LIFE'S A CRAZY RIDE,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE YOUR
URETHRA REROUTED.
>> [ VOMITS ]
SAD FATES FOR BELOVED CHARACTERS
FROM SUCH A RECENT ERA.
LET US FOREVER HOLD THEM IN OUR
HEARTS.
>> DINNER IS SERVED!
>> DAD?
>> THIS...STILL HAS A FACE ON
IT.
>> [ Echoing ] E-E-E-E-E-E-E!
[ MID-TEMPO CHINESE MUSIC
PLAYS ]