[ THUNDER CRASHING ]
[ DRILLING, SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]
>> IT'S ALIVE!
>> ON THREE!
>> WHATEVER -- JUST AIM FOR MY
HEAD.
>> ONE! TWO!
WAIT, "AIM FOR MY HEAD"?
>> JUST DO IT, ALREADY!
>> DUDE, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON
THAT'S BOTHERED TO ASK.
[ SOBBING ]
>> ALL RIGHT, STUDENTS, SPELLS
READY!
BEGIN!
MISS GRANGER.
>> ORCHIDEOUS!
>> MR. POTTER.
>> ORCHIDEOUS!
>> MR. LONGBOTTOM.
>> ORC-- UH...ORC-- UH...
ORC-HOO-DIOUS.
[ CHOMP! ]
OH! OH, DEAR! OH, MY GOD!
>> NEVILLE!
[ CHOMP! ]
OH, MY GOD! OH, DEAR!
>> [ SCREECHING ]
>> WHAT HAPPENED?
>> HIS SPELL!
HE WAS ONLY OFF BY ONE SYLLABLE!
>> AH, YES.
THE SPELLS "ORCHIDEOUS" AND
"ORCHOODIOUS" ARE VERY SIMILAR.
DO BE CAREFUL.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
>> FINALLY, ADD TWO DROPS OF
WOLFSBANE EXTRACT TO YOUR
POTION.
I HOPE EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS.
WELL? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
>> USUALLY WE DON'T START UNTIL
YOU INSULT HARRY.
>> AM I SO PREDICTABLE?
VERY WELL.
POTTER, YOU FOOL.
>> WELL, BOTTOMS UP!
[ GULP! ]
>> RON, HOW MANY DROPS OF
WOLFSBANE EXTRACT DID YOU USE?
>> UH, LIKE THREE.
[ SCREAMING ]
[ SPLAT! ]
>> PROFESSOR SNAPE, WHAT
HAPPENED?
>> USED TOO MUCH WOLFSBANE
EXTRACT, LOOKS LIKE.
>> HE USED ONE EXTRA DROP!
THAT MARGIN FOR ERROR IS PRETTY
BLOODY SLIM!
>> THIS SPELL WAS SUPPOSED
TO CHANGE OUR EYE COLOR!
WHY WOULD WE RISK EXPLODING
SKULLS JUST TO CHANGE OUR EYE
COLOR?
>> UH...
POTTER, YOU FOOL.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
>> WELL, IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.
WE'RE TEACHING CHILDREN A DEADLY
ART, AFTER ALL.
IT'S LIKE TRYING TO TEACH CATS
HOW TO DISARM LANDMINES.
>> UH...WHERE ARE ALL THE
STUDENTS?
[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ]
[ CAR ALARM BLARING ]
>> HEY... WHERE'S HERMIONE?
>> [ LAUGHS ] WE ALL CALLED HER
A SLUT ON FACEBOOK!
>> CHILDREN, I HAVE SOME SAD
NEWS.
HER-MY-ONE GRANGER HUNG HERSELF.
[ RECORD SCRATCHES ]
[ ALL LAUGHING ]
>> WHAT CAN I GET Y'ALL TO
DRINK?
>> I'LL HAVE A DASANI.
>> FIJI FOR ME.
>> ONE EVIAN, PLEASE.
>> I'LL TAKE A BEER AND THREE
NEW [BLEEP] FRIENDS, PLEASE.
>> OH, MY GOSH.
THAT'S BETTY CROCKER!
>> OH, HELLO, DARLING.
>> HOW LONG YOU GONNA KEEP
DUCKIN' ME?
>> HOW LONG YOU GONNA KEEP
CALLING THAT CHEESECAKE TASTY,
SARA LEE?
>> HOPE YOU SAVED ROOM FOR
DESSERT.
I GOT SOME PIPING-HOT BEATDOWNS
TOPPED WITH A FRESH ASS
WHOOPING!
>> YOU FEELING HUNGRY?
TAKE A TASTE.
>> [BLEEP] A TASTE.
I WANT THE WHOLE PIE!
[ GROWLS ]
>> YOUR HITS TASTE LIKE YOUR
POUNDCAKE -- WEAK AND
STORE-BOUGHT!
>> OH, THIS CAKE HAS SOME
LAYERS.
>> BE SURE AND TRY THE CRUST!
YOU LIKE THIS [BLEEP]
'CAUSE NOBODY!
DOESN'T!
LIKE!
SARA!
LEE!
OOH, THIS THING'S SO SWEET, IT'S
GOT TO BE FATTENING!
>> [ WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY ]
>> WHAT WAS THAT, BLEEDY [BLEEP]
>> YOU AND BETTY CROCKER CAN...
BAKE SOMEONE HAPPY!
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> ♪ EVERYBODY LOVES HER ♪
♪ SARA LEE ♪
>> [ PANTING ]
[ CLINKING ]
>> I'S IN TOWN, HONEY.
NEXT TIME, YOU DANCE WITH YOUR
OL' AUNT JEMIMA.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
[ GUNSHOTS ]
>> YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO
GET THAT FOR ME.
>> HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT
USING --
>> I'M NOT GETTING A [BLEEP]
BOOMERANG, SO JUST DROP IT!
>> "YOU'RE TERMINATED."
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'LL SAY.
WHAT?!
[ CRUNCH! ]
[ WHIRRING ]
[ FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> WOW, LOOK AT THE GAMS ON HER!
>> NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL A
SET OF STEMS!
>> HONEY, IF YOU'RE NOT A MODEL,
YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIFE!
>> SHE'S GOT A LOOK, I'LL GIVE
YOU THAT.
BUT DOES SHE HAVE "IT"?
>> OH, YOU'RE HIRED.
[ WHIRRING ]
>> YOU'RE TERMINATED [BLEEP]
[ SIGHS ] THAT WAS UNDULY HARSH.
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> OUR CLEANUP EFFORTS FROM THE
OIL SPILL CONTINUE, BUT THE REAL
PROBLEM IS CAPPING THIS OIL
LEAK.
NO, WAIT, SCRATCH THAT.
THE REAL PROBLEM IS FIGURING
OUT HOW TO SPEND THIS QUARTER'S
PROFITS.
[ ALL CHEERING ]
[ BUZZER ]
>> I'M SORRY, SIR!
I TRIED TO STOP HIM, BUT --
>> SHIRLEY?
>> NEVER MIND, SIR.
HE WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY EASY TO
STOP.
I JUST TRIPPED HIM, AND I THINK
HE TWISTED HIS ANKLE OR
SOMETHING.
>> ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
>> JUST FINE. HANG ON A SECOND.
OKAY.
AQUAMAN WOULD LIKE TO MAKE AN
APPOINTMENT.
>> CHECK MY BOOK.
>> CHECKING, SIR.
OKAY.
[ Muffled ] MR. AQUAMAN, IS
TUESDAY AFTER 4:00 P.M. OKAY FOR
YOU, OR --
[ Normal voice ] OH, DRAT.
SORRY, SIR, THIS TIME HE REALLY
DID GET PAST ME.
>> AH, THE SUB-MARINER, I
PRESUME?
>> DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH ME, YOU
CORPORATE MONSTER!
YOUR OIL SPILL IS KILLING THE
SEA CREATURES I HOLD DEAR!
>> ALL RIGHT.
SO HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
>> YOU CAN GO TO JAIL, YOU SCUM!
>> WELL, THE FEDERAL COURTS
ALREADY ASSESSED A FINE, WHICH
WE PAID.
>> YOU --
YOU CAN GO TO JAIL ANYWAY!
>> BUT THE CASE IS SETTLED.
>> OH.
>> SO ARE YOU, UH, HERE TO KICK
MY ASS OR...?
>> YES!
MAYBE!
WELL, PROBABLY NOT, NO.
>> SO I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL,
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KICK MY ASS,
AND I ALREADY PAID THE FINE.
>> YOU KILLED A LOT OF SEA LIFE.
>> I DID. I'M SORRY.
[ TING! ]
>> [ GROANS ]
UM, GOOD NEWS, EVERYBODY!
THE OIL COMPANY PAID A FINE!
>> TO WHO?
>> UM...YOU WANT ME TO FIND OUT?
>> OHH, CAN YOU MAYBE SUCK UP
ALL THIS OIL SINCE YOU SUCK SO
[BLEEP] HARD?
>> WAS THAT RHETORICAL OR DO YOU
WANT ME TO -- OW! OW! OW!
OH, MY GOSH! OW! THAT DOES--
[ CRACK! ]
OW! OW!
[ Crying ] OW!
>> GET READY FOR THE SWEET
RELEASE!
[ SQUISH! ]
>> ♪ SO YOU'RE DINING WITH A
BEAST ♪
♪ THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU
SHOULDN'T FEAST ♪
>> ♪ LET US HANDLE
RESERVATIONS ♪
♪ GIVE YOUR TASTE BUDS A
SENSATION ♪
>> ♪ HAVE YOUR FILL,
EAT MORE STILL ♪
♪ THERE'S NO NEED TO SLOW
YOUR PACE ♪
♪ AFTER DINNER YOU'LL BE THINNER
ONCE YOU SIT DOWN ON MY FACE ♪
>> ♪ SO HAVE SECONDS,
EAT A LOT ♪
>> ♪ THEN COME MEET YOUR CHAMBER
POT ♪
>> WE ARE TRYING TO SERVE
DINNER!
>> WHAT?
DEFACCACHI DOESN'T GET TO SING
ALONG?
I'M A PERSON, TOO.
DEFACCACHI DIDN'T ASK TO BE A
CHAMBER POT.
>> NONE OF US ASKED TO BE STUCK
IN THE FORMS OF HOUSEHOLD ITEMS,
BUT PEOPLE ARE EATING!
>> SO DEFACCACHI ONLY USEFUL
AFTER A DINNER, EH?
I GOT TO LIVE A SOLITARY
EXISTENCE PUNCTUATED BY PEOPLE
POOPING IN MY --
>> I SAID, PEOPLE ARE EATING.
>> [ MUMBLING IN ITALIAN ]
>> OKAY, LET'S JUST GET THROUGH
THIS DINNER SO THE BEAST CAN
BANG THIS BITCH AND -- BELLE?
WHERE DID BELLE GO?!
>> ♪ RING A BELL ♪
♪ SOUND A HORN ♪
♪ LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S EATEN
CORN ♪
>> DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE A
[BLEEP] SONG?!
>> [ HUMMING ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
>> HEY, THERE. I'M DELLA.
>> OH, Y-YES. AH, YES.
AH, COME IN.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
>> I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
I LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS
UP FRONT.
>> OH, UH, OKAY.
HOW MUCH UH, FOR, UM,
A HALF-AND-HALF?
>> OH, SOMEBODY'S DONE THIS
BEFORE.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
NO, I-I JUST READ ABOUT IT ON
THE INTERNET.
>> JUST PUT $300 ON THE
NIGHTSTAND.
>> LET'S PARTY.
>> HOLY [BLEEP]
YOU'RE A DUCK!
>> THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU RUFFLE MY
FEATHERS?
>> WHY ARE YOU A DUCK?!
OH, MY GOD!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
I'M WHAT YOU ORDERED.
>> I DID NOT ORDER A DUCK!
>> WELL, I'M NOT SURE HOW THEY
COULD HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD THAT
REQUEST.
>> OH, GEE!
I WONDER WHAT WORD AN ESCORT
SERVICE MIGHT HAVE MISTAKEN FOR
"DUCK" ON A BAD CELLPHONE
CONNECTION!
>> WELL, FINE, BUT YOU ARE STILL
GONNA HAVE TO PAY ME FOR MY
TIME.
>> UH, I DON'T KNOW WHY I NEED
TO PAY TO NOT [BLEEP] A CARTOON
DUCK!
NORMALLY NOT [BLEEP] A [BLEEP]
DUCK IS [BLEEP] FREE!
>> [ SIGHS ]
[ Dialing ]
WE GOT A PROBLEM.
>> WHO ARE YOU --
>> WE GOT SOME SORT OF PROBLEM?
>> LOOK, I-I DON'T WANT ANY
TROUBLE.
I JUST THINK THE
MISUNDERSTANDING WAS ON YOUR
END.
>> JUST PAY THE DUCK.
>> NO! IT'S NOT FAIR!
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY --
>> YEAH! WHIP HIS ASS, DESMOND!
WHIP HIS ASS!
>> MR. PHILLIPSON, WHAT'S ALL
THE COMMOTION?
WHOA, STOP! SECURITY!
>> HEY!
>> WHOA!
>> YOU GOT A GUN, I GOT A
GUN.
NOW WHAT?
>> L-LET'S ALL JUST RELAX.
>> YOU RELAX!
[ GUNSHOT ]
[ SPLAT! ]
HEY, GET OFF OF MY GUN, BITCH!
[ GUNSHOT ]
[ SPLAT! ]
[ GUNSHOT ]
>> ♪ DUCK, DUCK, DUCK,
DUCK PARTY ♪
♪ HOO-HOO-HOO ♪
>> [BLEEP] YOU!
[ GUNSHOTS ]
[ SCREAMS ]
>> UNCLE DONALD?
>> HUH? WHAT?
>> WE SAID, "WHEN CAN WE GO
HOME?"
>> GEE, UNCLE DONALD, WE REALLY
MISS OUR MOM.
>> YEAH, WHEN CAN WE SEE HER
AGAIN?
>> OH, I DON'T KNOW, BOYS.
I JUST DON'T KNOW.
>> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
BA-GAWK! BAWK.