WEBVTT X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:9000 00:00:04.971 --> 00:00:08.942 line:10% position:35% size:50% [ THUNDER CRASHING ] 00:00:09.008 --> 00:00:10.877 line:10% position:35% size:50% [ DRILLING, SAWING ] 00:00:16.049 --> 00:00:18.051 line:10% position:43% size:63% [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] 00:00:18.118 --> 00:00:19.886 line:10% position:28% size:35% >> IT'S ALIVE! 00:00:39.706 --> 00:00:42.075 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start [ RICHARD STRAUSS'S "ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA" PLAYS ] 00:00:42.142 --> 00:00:44.411 line:85% position:25% size:30% [ CLANKING ] 00:00:54.053 --> 00:00:55.221 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> WELL, SELL THE DERIVATIVES 00:00:55.288 --> 00:00:56.990 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start FROM THE GERMAN ACCOUNT, NOT FROM THE -- 00:00:57.056 --> 00:00:57.991 line:85% position:20% size:20% [ BEEP ] 00:00:58.057 --> 00:00:59.359 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start OH, HEY, DOUG, MY CELLPHONE'S ABOUT TO GO -- 00:00:59.426 --> 00:00:59.826 line:85% position:20% size:20% [ BEEP ] 00:00:59.893 --> 00:01:02.996 line:85% position:23% size:25% OH [BLEEP] 00:01:03.062 --> 00:01:04.764 line:85% position:20% size:18% WHAROO! 00:01:04.831 --> 00:01:07.100 line:85% position:35% size:48% [ Panting ] WHAROO! 00:01:07.167 --> 00:01:08.501 line:85% position:20% size:18% WHAROO! 00:01:08.568 --> 00:01:09.502 line:85% position:30% size:38% [ BELL CHIMES ] 00:01:09.569 --> 00:01:11.171 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> ALL THOSE THINGS I CAN DO, 00:01:11.237 --> 00:01:13.006 line:85% position:50% size:80% ALL THOSE POWERS, AND I COULDN'T 00:01:13.072 --> 00:01:17.043 line:85% position:28% size:35% EVEN SAVE HIM. 00:01:17.110 --> 00:01:18.445 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> HUH. 00:01:18.511 --> 00:01:19.646 line:85% position:48% size:75% GUESS I SHOULDN'T HAVE DOUBLED 00:01:19.712 --> 00:01:20.847 line:85% position:48% size:73% DOWN ON THAT KFC DOUBLE DOWN. 00:01:20.914 --> 00:01:21.815 line:85% position:35% size:48% [ RAPID HEARTBEAT ] 00:01:21.881 --> 00:01:22.916 line:85% position:15% size:10% HMM. 00:01:22.982 --> 00:01:24.818 line:85% position:23% size:25% [ GROANS ] 00:01:24.884 --> 00:01:26.619 line:85% position:18% size:15% >> PA! 00:01:26.686 --> 00:01:28.021 line:10% position:33% size:43% [ GASPS ] OH, NO! 00:01:28.087 --> 00:01:29.956 line:10% position:23% size:25% UH...UH... 00:01:33.793 --> 00:01:34.861 line:10% position:30% size:38% WHOA! NOT GOOD! 00:01:34.928 --> 00:01:35.628 line:10% position:23% size:23% NOT GOOD! 00:01:35.695 --> 00:01:37.163 line:10% position:38% size:55% UM...OH, COMPRESSIONS! 00:01:37.230 --> 00:01:39.466 line:10% position:43% size:63% MAYBE START COMPRESSIONS. 00:01:39.532 --> 00:01:40.800 line:10% position:28% size:33% >> [ GROANS ] 00:01:40.867 --> 00:01:42.602 line:10% position:38% size:55% >> [ INHALES SHARPLY ] 00:01:42.669 --> 00:01:43.970 line:10% position:35% size:50% OH, IF I CAN JUST... 00:01:44.037 --> 00:01:45.038 line:10% position:25% size:28% SORRY, DAD. 00:01:45.104 --> 00:01:45.972 line:10% position:30% size:38% JUST -- OH, NO! 00:01:46.039 --> 00:01:47.440 line:10% position:45% size:68% UH, SPARKY, COME BACK HERE! 00:01:47.507 --> 00:01:49.108 line:10% position:23% size:25% SORRY, PA. 00:01:50.543 --> 00:01:51.845 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> DOCTOR [INHALES SHARPLY] 00:01:51.911 --> 00:01:52.946 line:85% position:38% size:55% MY PENIS DOESN'T WORK. 00:01:53.012 --> 00:01:53.947 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 00:01:54.013 --> 00:01:55.381 line:85% position:48% size:75% LIKE IT WON'T GO "WEE-WEE-WEE" 00:01:55.448 --> 00:01:56.149 line:85% position:28% size:35% OR IT WON'T GO 00:01:56.216 --> 00:02:01.221 line:85% position:38% size:53% "BOI-OI-OI-OI-OING!"? 00:02:01.287 --> 00:02:02.655 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> HMM. 00:02:02.722 --> 00:02:04.123 line:85% position:35% size:48% [ RAP MUSIC PLAYS ] 00:02:04.190 --> 00:02:05.091 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> ♪ OATS ♪ 00:02:05.158 --> 00:02:06.860 line:85% position:50% size:78% ♪ OATS, OATS, OATS, OATS, OATS, 00:02:06.926 --> 00:02:08.361 line:85% position:48% size:75% OATS, OATS-OATS-OATS-OATS OATS 00:02:08.428 --> 00:02:09.062 line:85% position:25% size:28% OATS-OATS ♪ 00:02:09.128 --> 00:02:10.163 line:85% position:35% size:48% ♪ OATS, OATS, OATS, 00:02:10.230 --> 00:02:11.798 line:85% position:45% size:68% OATS-OATS-OATS OATS, OATS ♪ 00:02:11.865 --> 00:02:15.101 line:85% position:50% size:80% ♪ OATS, OATS, OATS, OATS, OATS ♪ 00:02:15.168 --> 00:02:16.870 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> ♪ WE'VE ONLY GOT ONE LIFE ♪ 00:02:16.936 --> 00:02:17.470 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> OATS! 00:02:17.537 --> 00:02:18.538 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> ♪ WE'VE GOT TO 00:02:18.605 --> 00:02:19.439 line:85% position:30% size:38% LIVE IT RIGHT ♪ 00:02:19.506 --> 00:02:20.306 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> ♪ OATS, OATS ♪ 00:02:20.373 --> 00:02:21.941 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> ♪ THROW UP YOUR HANDS, KEEP 00:02:22.008 --> 00:02:23.977 line:85% position:45% size:70% REACHIN' FOR THE SPOTLIGHT ♪ 00:02:24.043 --> 00:02:25.445 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> ♪ WHOA ♪ 00:02:25.512 --> 00:02:26.813 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> ♪ BABY, YOU'RE A KING, 00:02:26.880 --> 00:02:28.681 line:85% position:35% size:50% YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR ♪ 00:02:28.748 --> 00:02:29.749 line:85% position:35% size:50% ♪ BABY, JUST SHOW ME 00:02:29.816 --> 00:02:30.717 line:85% position:35% size:50% WHERE THE OATS ARE ♪ 00:02:30.783 --> 00:02:31.217 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> OATS! 00:02:31.284 --> 00:02:32.252 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> ♪ OATS ARE ♪ 00:02:32.318 --> 00:02:32.986 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> OATS! 00:02:33.052 --> 00:02:34.721 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> ♪ OATS, OATS, OATS, OATS, 00:02:34.787 --> 00:02:36.055 line:85% position:43% size:63% OATS, OATS-OATS-OATS-OATS 00:02:36.122 --> 00:02:37.056 line:85% position:33% size:43% OATS, OATS-OATS ♪ 00:02:37.123 --> 00:02:39.125 line:85% position:50% size:78% ♪ OATS, OATS, OATS, OATS, OATS, 00:02:39.192 --> 00:02:39.692 line:85% position:18% size:15% OATS ♪ 00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:40.426 line:85% position:35% size:48% ♪ OATS, OATS, OATS, 00:02:40.493 --> 00:02:41.461 line:85% position:38% size:53% OATS-OATS-OATS-OATS ♪ 00:02:41.528 --> 00:02:43.463 line:85% position:43% size:65% ♪ OATS, OATS, OATS, OATS ♪ 00:02:43.530 --> 00:02:44.497 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> NOW, RIHANNA, WE'RE GONNA 00:02:44.564 --> 00:02:45.164 line:85% position:30% size:40% LEARN TO CANTER. 00:02:45.231 --> 00:02:46.232 line:85% position:45% size:70% YOU'LL NEED TO KNOW THIS FOR 00:02:46.299 --> 00:02:46.866 line:85% position:30% size:38% YOUR NEW VIDEO. 00:02:46.933 --> 00:02:47.667 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> I CHANGED MY MIND. 00:02:47.734 --> 00:02:48.601 line:85% position:40% size:60% HORSES ARE DUMB AS HELL. 00:02:48.668 --> 00:02:49.669 line:85% position:48% size:73% I DON'T WANT MY VIDEO TO HAVE 00:02:49.736 --> 00:02:50.570 line:85% position:40% size:58% A DUMB-ASS HORSE IN IT. 00:02:50.637 --> 00:02:51.371 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> [ GASPS ] 00:02:51.437 --> 00:02:52.071 line:85% position:25% size:28% [ CRUNCH! ] 00:02:52.138 --> 00:02:52.872 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> OH, MAN! 00:02:52.939 --> 00:02:54.240 line:85% position:43% size:65% MY NECK! MY LEGS! MY FEET! 00:02:54.307 --> 00:02:55.808 line:85% position:50% size:78% MY ARMS! I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING! 00:02:55.875 --> 00:02:57.043 line:85% position:40% size:58% MY [BLEEP] BODY'S NUMB! 00:02:57.110 --> 00:02:59.279 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> ♪ OATS, OATS, OATS, OATS, 00:02:59.345 --> 00:03:01.047 line:85% position:48% size:75% OATS, OATS-OATS OATS OATS... ♪ 00:03:01.114 --> 00:03:02.982 line:85% position:45% size:68% [ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] 00:03:37.650 --> 00:03:39.185 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> "TWILIGHT" THE GAME! 00:03:39.252 --> 00:03:41.154 line:85% position:30% size:38% RAAAAAAAAAARGH! 00:03:41.220 --> 00:03:42.622 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> APPROACHING BANK ROBBERS IN 00:03:42.689 --> 00:03:44.057 line:85% position:45% size:70% THEIR GETAWAY TANK, MICHAEL. 00:03:44.123 --> 00:03:45.491 line:85% position:45% size:70% I RECOMMEND JUMPING OVER IT. 00:03:45.558 --> 00:03:46.559 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> I LOVE YOU, KITT! 00:03:46.626 --> 00:03:48.061 line:85% position:48% size:73% [ EXPLOSIONS, TIRES SCREECH ] 00:03:48.127 --> 00:03:49.162 line:85% position:35% size:48% [ PEOPLE CHEERING ] 00:03:49.228 --> 00:03:50.530 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> WE SAVED THAT BUSLOAD OF 00:03:50.597 --> 00:03:52.131 line:85% position:50% size:78% NUNS, KITT, BY JUMPING OVER IT. 00:03:52.198 --> 00:03:54.334 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> I LOVE YOU, MICHAEL KNIGHT! 00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:55.602 line:85% position:30% size:40% [ TV SHUTS OFF ] 00:03:55.668 --> 00:03:57.370 line:85% position:50% size:80% MAN, I WISH YOU WERE REAL, KITT. 00:03:57.437 --> 00:03:58.671 line:85% position:38% size:55% WE'D HAVE SOME AWESOME 00:03:58.738 --> 00:03:59.439 line:85% position:25% size:28% ADVENTURES. 00:03:59.505 --> 00:04:00.106 line:85% position:23% size:23% [ YAWNS ] 00:04:00.173 --> 00:04:02.508 line:85% position:45% size:70% WE'D FIGHT ALL MY ENEMIES... 00:04:02.575 --> 00:04:04.510 line:85% position:30% size:40% AND MURDER THEM. 00:04:04.577 --> 00:04:06.279 line:85% position:20% size:20% SO COOL. 00:04:06.346 --> 00:04:08.948 line:85% position:23% size:25% SO...COOL. 00:04:09.015 --> 00:04:10.249 line:85% position:30% size:38% [ ENGINE REVS ] 00:04:10.316 --> 00:04:11.551 line:85% position:28% size:35% [ GASPS ] WOW! 00:04:11.618 --> 00:04:12.785 line:85% position:33% size:43% I'M KNIGHT RIDER! 00:04:12.852 --> 00:04:14.420 line:85% position:45% size:68% I'M KNIGHT RI-- AWW, WAIT A 00:04:14.487 --> 00:04:15.188 line:85% position:20% size:18% MINUTE. 00:04:15.254 --> 00:04:16.956 line:85% position:50% size:80% OH, YOU'RE THAT CRAPPY KITT FROM 00:04:17.023 --> 00:04:18.558 line:85% position:43% size:65% THAT CRAPPY "KNIGHT RIDER" 00:04:18.625 --> 00:04:20.360 line:85% position:48% size:75% REMAKE FROM A FEW CRAPPY YEARS 00:04:20.426 --> 00:04:20.960 line:85% position:15% size:10% AGO! 00:04:21.027 --> 00:04:22.228 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> GREETINGS, MICHAEL. 00:04:22.295 --> 00:04:23.763 line:85% position:43% size:63% LET'S GO ON AN ADVENTURE. 00:04:23.830 --> 00:04:25.832 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! 00:04:25.898 --> 00:04:27.233 line:85% position:38% size:53% WAKE ME UP RIGHT NOW! 00:04:27.300 --> 00:04:30.336 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> PLEASE STOP. 00:04:30.403 --> 00:04:31.137 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> WAKE ME UP! 00:04:31.204 --> 00:04:31.971 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> PLEASE STOP. 00:04:32.038 --> 00:04:32.972 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> NO! LET ME OUT! 00:04:33.039 --> 00:04:33.640 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> MICHAEL. 00:04:33.706 --> 00:04:34.941 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> NO, NO, NO! LET ME OUT! 00:04:35.008 --> 00:04:36.175 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> PLEASE STOP. MICHAEL. 00:04:36.242 --> 00:04:37.243 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> NO! YOU SUCK ASS! 00:04:37.310 --> 00:04:38.711 line:85% position:48% size:75% ALL YOU DID IN THE WHOLE PILOT 00:04:38.778 --> 00:04:40.146 line:85% position:48% size:73% EPISODE WAS DRIVE EXTRA FAST! 00:04:40.213 --> 00:04:41.781 line:85% position:28% size:35% IT WAS BORING! 00:04:41.848 --> 00:04:43.349 line:85% position:38% size:55% [ Crying ] LET ME OUT! 00:04:43.416 --> 00:04:44.017 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> FINE. 00:04:44.083 --> 00:04:45.685 line:85% position:45% size:70% HOPE YOU LIKE EJECTOR SEATS. 00:04:45.752 --> 00:04:48.121 line:85% position:35% size:50% [ BEEPING, BUZZING ] 00:04:48.187 --> 00:04:51.124 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start I DON'T SEEM TO HAVE AN EJECTOR SEAT. 00:04:51.190 --> 00:04:52.091 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> BORING! 00:04:52.158 --> 00:04:53.459 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> "KNIGHT RIDER." 00:04:53.526 --> 00:04:55.028 line:85% position:35% size:48% A SHADOWY FLIGHT -- 00:04:55.094 --> 00:04:56.462 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> GO DIE, PLEASE. 00:04:56.529 --> 00:04:57.797 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> AWW. 00:04:57.864 --> 00:04:58.898 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> HAVING A BAD DAY? 00:04:58.965 --> 00:05:00.566 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> MY STUPID DREAM HAS THE WRONG 00:05:00.633 --> 00:05:01.801 line:85% position:43% size:63% "KNIGHT RIDER" CAR IN IT. 00:05:01.868 --> 00:05:03.102 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> OH. WHAT'LL IT BE? 00:05:03.169 --> 00:05:06.105 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start >> HEY...CAN I HAVE LOBSTER WITH LOTS OF BUTTER SAUCE AND OREO 00:05:06.172 --> 00:05:08.675 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start ICE CREAM SERVED ON A COOKIE THE SIZE OF MY HEAD? 00:05:08.741 --> 00:05:09.375 line:85% position:15% size:10% MMM! 00:05:09.442 --> 00:05:10.510 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> UH...WE DON'T HAVE THAT. 00:05:10.576 --> 00:05:12.278 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> BUT...THIS IS A DREAM! 00:05:12.345 --> 00:05:13.513 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> YEAH, BUT WE KIND OF BLEW OUR 00:05:13.579 --> 00:05:15.148 line:85% position:30% size:38% BUDGET ON THAT. 00:05:15.214 --> 00:05:16.349 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> GREETINGS, MICHAEL. 00:05:16.416 --> 00:05:17.884 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> DAMN IT! 00:05:17.950 --> 00:05:19.052 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> WELCOME BACK, MICHAEL. 00:05:19.118 --> 00:05:20.353 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> [ SIGHS ] HI, VAL KILMER. 00:05:20.420 --> 00:05:22.121 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start >> SHALL I TURN INTO A PICKUP TRUCK? 00:05:22.188 --> 00:05:22.855 line:85% position:28% size:35% I CAN DO THAT. 00:05:22.922 --> 00:05:24.023 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> [ Sarcastically ] WOW. 00:05:24.090 --> 00:05:25.324 line:85% position:45% size:70% ONE OF YOUR AMAZING FEATURES 00:05:25.391 --> 00:05:26.159 line:85% position:33% size:43% IS HAULING CARGO. 00:05:26.225 --> 00:05:27.460 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> I CAN ALSO TURN FROM THIS 00:05:27.527 --> 00:05:29.796 line:85% position:45% size:70% KIND OF MUSTANG INTO ANOTHER 00:05:29.862 --> 00:05:30.930 line:85% position:30% size:40% KIND OF MUSTANG. 00:05:30.997 --> 00:05:32.065 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> UGH, DO WHATEVER. 00:05:32.131 --> 00:05:33.366 line:85% position:40% size:60% I'M GOING TO TAKE A NAP. 00:05:33.433 --> 00:05:35.468 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start >> YOU CAN'T TAKE A NAP IN A DREAM! 00:05:35.535 --> 00:05:36.302 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> OF COURSE YOU CAN. 00:05:36.369 --> 00:05:37.403 line:85% position:43% size:63% DIDN'T YOU SEE INCEPTION? 00:05:37.470 --> 00:05:38.705 line:85% position:50% size:78% ONLY 100 MILLION PEOPLE SAW IT. 00:05:38.771 --> 00:05:39.439 line:85% position:30% size:38% IT WAS SO COOL. 00:05:39.505 --> 00:05:41.974 line:85% position:38% size:55% [ Yawning ] SO...COOL. 00:05:42.041 --> 00:05:43.109 line:85% position:25% size:30% OH, MY GOSH! 00:05:43.176 --> 00:05:44.243 line:85% position:38% size:53% I'M IN THE REAL KITT! 00:05:44.310 --> 00:05:45.712 line:85% position:48% size:73% YOU'RE THE REAL KNIGHT RIDER! 00:05:45.778 --> 00:05:47.680 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start >> ARE YOU READY TO [BLEEP] DO THIS? 00:05:47.747 --> 00:05:48.448 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> HELL, YES! 00:05:48.514 --> 00:05:49.882 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> PRESS MY TURBO BOOST BUTTON. 00:05:49.949 --> 00:05:51.551 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> I WILL! 00:05:51.617 --> 00:05:54.287 line:85% position:18% size:15% YEAH!! 00:05:54.353 --> 00:05:56.589 line:85% position:18% size:15% YEAH!! 00:05:56.656 --> 00:05:57.824 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:05:57.890 --> 00:05:59.258 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:05:59.325 --> 00:06:00.293 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:06:00.359 --> 00:06:01.828 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:06:01.894 --> 00:06:02.862 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:06:02.929 --> 00:06:04.097 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:06:04.163 --> 00:06:04.931 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:06:04.997 --> 00:06:05.865 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:06:05.932 --> 00:06:06.833 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:06:06.899 --> 00:06:07.867 line:85% position:18% size:13% YEAH! 00:06:07.934 --> 00:06:09.368 line:85% position:33% size:43% YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! 00:06:09.435 --> 00:06:11.637 line:85% position:18% size:15% YEAH!! 00:06:11.704 --> 00:06:14.607 line:85% position:35% size:50% [ PEOPLE SCREAMING ] 00:06:14.674 --> 00:06:17.343 line:85% position:38% size:55% I LOVE YOU, REAL KITT. 00:06:17.410 --> 00:06:19.312 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> OH. OUCH. 00:06:19.378 --> 00:06:21.013 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> [BLEEP] YOU, VAL KILMER. 00:06:21.080 --> 00:06:21.714 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> SWAT YOUR BALLS? 00:06:21.781 --> 00:06:22.548 line:85% position:43% size:63% GET A GOOD BALL SWATTING. 00:06:22.615 --> 00:06:23.483 line:85% position:45% size:70% WHO DOESN'T WANT THEIR BALLS 00:06:23.549 --> 00:06:24.183 line:85% position:20% size:20% SWATTED? 00:06:24.250 --> 00:06:24.784 line:85% position:45% size:68% COME ON, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE 00:06:24.851 --> 00:06:25.585 line:85% position:40% size:58% THOSE PANTS RIGHT DOWN? 00:06:25.651 --> 00:06:26.486 line:85% position:45% size:68% THERE YOU GO, THERE YOU GO. 00:06:26.552 --> 00:06:28.054 line:85% position:40% size:60% LET ME SWAT THOSE BALLS! 00:06:28.121 --> 00:06:29.322 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> MAY THIS GOLDEN SPIKE 00:06:29.388 --> 00:06:30.690 line:85% position:43% size:65% SYMBOLIZE THE POWER OF THE 00:06:30.757 --> 00:06:32.024 line:85% position:43% size:63% RAILROAD, WHICH WILL LAST 00:06:32.091 --> 00:06:32.692 line:85% position:20% size:20% FOREVER! 00:06:32.759 --> 00:06:33.960 line:85% position:43% size:65% AT LEAST UNTIL PEOPLE STOP 00:06:34.026 --> 00:06:35.528 line:85% position:48% size:75% GIVING A [BLEEP] ABOUT TRAINS, 00:06:35.595 --> 00:06:36.896 line:85% position:43% size:65% WHICH I PREDICT WILL NEVER 00:06:36.963 --> 00:06:37.597 line:85% position:20% size:18% HAPPEN! 00:06:37.663 --> 00:06:38.831 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> TODAY, THAT GOLDEN SPIKE 00:06:38.898 --> 00:06:40.199 line:85% position:43% size:65% RESIDES AT THE WHO GIVES A 00:06:40.266 --> 00:06:41.834 line:85% position:50% size:80% [BLEEP] MUSEUM, LOCATED DIRECTLY 00:06:41.901 --> 00:06:43.736 line:85% position:23% size:25% UP MY ASS. 00:06:43.803 --> 00:06:46.806 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> DECEPTICONS! ATTACK! 00:06:50.643 --> 00:06:52.512 line:85% position:18% size:13% WHAT? 00:06:57.183 --> 00:06:58.217 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> ♪ MR. MOUTH ♪ 00:06:58.284 --> 00:06:59.685 line:85% position:43% size:65% ♪ OPEN, CLOSE YOUR MOUTH ♪ 00:06:59.752 --> 00:07:01.721 line:85% position:45% size:68% ♪ GOT A REAL PRETTY MOUTH ♪ 00:07:01.788 --> 00:07:03.756 line:85% position:35% size:48% ♪ LIKE YOUR MOUTH ♪ 00:07:03.823 --> 00:07:05.091 line:85% position:43% size:65% ♪ MAYBE I'LL JUST TAKE YOU 00:07:05.158 --> 00:07:07.493 line:85% position:33% size:43% IN ANOTHER ROOM ♪ 00:07:07.560 --> 00:07:09.195 line:85% position:45% size:70% ♪ LET'S HAVE A DATE IN HERE, 00:07:09.262 --> 00:07:10.530 line:85% position:25% size:28% MR. MOUTH ♪ 00:07:10.596 --> 00:07:12.198 line:85% position:35% size:50% ♪ GONNA HAVE A PARTY 00:07:12.265 --> 00:07:14.133 line:85% position:35% size:48% INSIDE YOUR MOUTH ♪ 00:07:14.200 --> 00:07:14.867 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> HELLO, SPOCK. 00:07:14.934 --> 00:07:15.668 line:85% position:33% size:43% NICE TO MEET YOU. 00:07:15.735 --> 00:07:16.869 line:85% position:48% size:73% I'M YOU, 30 YEARS OLDER, FROM 00:07:16.936 --> 00:07:17.503 line:85% position:25% size:28% THE FUTURE. 00:07:17.570 --> 00:07:18.471 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> HOW DID YOU GET HERE? 00:07:18.538 --> 00:07:19.472 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> THROUGH A BLACK HOLE. 00:07:19.539 --> 00:07:20.606 line:85% position:45% size:68% LISTEN, IN 10 YEARS, YOU'LL 00:07:20.673 --> 00:07:21.808 line:85% position:48% size:73% FIGHT AGAINST AN EVIL KLINGON 00:07:21.874 --> 00:07:22.441 line:85% position:25% size:30% NAMED KLORG. 00:07:22.508 --> 00:07:23.209 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> ALL RIGHT. 00:07:23.276 --> 00:07:24.343 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> AND HE'LL SWING HIS BAT'LETH 00:07:24.410 --> 00:07:24.977 line:85% position:28% size:33% TO THE RIGHT. 00:07:25.044 --> 00:07:26.078 line:85% position:43% size:65% SO DODGE LEFT AND YOU WILL 00:07:26.145 --> 00:07:27.246 line:85% position:45% size:70% AVOID SPENDING A WEEK IN THE 00:07:27.313 --> 00:07:27.747 line:85% position:23% size:23% HOSPITAL. 00:07:27.814 --> 00:07:28.514 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> OH, THANK YOU. 00:07:28.581 --> 00:07:29.749 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> OH, AND ALSO IN ABOUT SEVEN 00:07:29.816 --> 00:07:31.050 line:85% position:50% size:78% YEARS, DJ ZUMURA WILL RELEASE A 00:07:31.117 --> 00:07:32.218 line:85% position:45% size:70% GREATEST HITS ALBUM AND IT'S 00:07:32.285 --> 00:07:33.152 line:85% position:38% size:55% AWESOME, SO YOU SHOULD 00:07:33.219 --> 00:07:34.053 line:85% position:35% size:50% DEFINITELY GET THAT. 00:07:34.120 --> 00:07:34.754 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> OKAY. 00:07:34.821 --> 00:07:35.655 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> BUT THEN TWO YEARS AFTER 00:07:35.721 --> 00:07:36.956 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT, THEY'RE GOING TO RELEASE A 00:07:37.023 --> 00:07:38.257 line:85% position:50% size:80% DJ ZUMURA COMPILATION ALBUM, AND 00:07:38.324 --> 00:07:39.492 line:85% position:48% size:75% EVEN THOUGH IT HAS A DIFFERENT 00:07:39.559 --> 00:07:40.593 line:85% position:43% size:65% COVER, IT HAS ALL THE SAME 00:07:40.660 --> 00:07:41.594 line:85% position:40% size:58% SONGS, SO DON'T BUY IT. 00:07:41.661 --> 00:07:42.328 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> ALL RIGHT. 00:07:42.395 --> 00:07:43.429 line:85% position:48% size:73% NOT LIFE-THREATENING, PER SE, 00:07:43.496 --> 00:07:44.230 line:85% position:33% size:43% BUT GOOD TO KNOW. 00:07:44.297 --> 00:07:45.498 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> DO NOT GO DOWN THAT HALLWAY. 00:07:45.565 --> 00:07:46.265 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> WHO ARE YOU? 00:07:46.332 --> 00:07:47.466 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> I'M YOU, FIVE MINUTES IN THE 00:07:47.533 --> 00:07:48.234 line:85% position:20% size:18% FUTURE. 00:07:48.301 --> 00:07:49.168 line:85% position:50% size:78% THREE MINUTES FROM NOW, KIRK IS 00:07:49.235 --> 00:07:50.503 line:85% position:50% size:80% GONNA DROP A MONUMENTAL DEUCE IN 00:07:50.570 --> 00:07:51.404 line:85% position:38% size:53% THE HALLWAY BATHROOM. 00:07:51.470 --> 00:07:52.171 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> SURE. 00:07:52.238 --> 00:07:53.406 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> AND IT'S GONNA SMELL REALLY, 00:07:53.472 --> 00:07:54.106 line:85% position:25% size:28% REALLY BAD. 00:07:54.173 --> 00:07:54.807 line:85% position:23% size:23% TRUST ME. 00:07:54.874 --> 00:07:56.075 line:85% position:45% size:68% SO, JUST MAYBE TAKE ANOTHER 00:07:56.142 --> 00:07:56.642 line:85% position:20% size:20% HALLWAY. 00:07:56.709 --> 00:07:57.476 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> OKAY, THANKS. 00:07:57.543 --> 00:07:58.144 line:85% position:23% size:23% >> SPOCK. 00:07:58.211 --> 00:07:59.278 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> WHO ARE YOU, MY SISTER? 00:07:59.345 --> 00:08:00.346 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> NO, I'M YOU, SPOCK. 00:08:00.413 --> 00:08:01.781 line:85% position:50% size:80% ONE NIGHT 12 YEARS FROM NOW, YOU 00:08:01.848 --> 00:08:03.282 line:85% position:50% size:80% HAVE ONE TOO MANY ZINGARO SHOTS, 00:08:03.349 --> 00:08:05.151 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start LOSE A BET, AND GET A SEX CHANGE. 00:08:05.218 --> 00:08:06.185 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> WHY IS OLD SPOCK A MAN? 00:08:06.252 --> 00:08:07.119 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> I CHANGED BACK. 00:08:07.186 --> 00:08:08.421 line:85% position:45% size:70% THERE ARE SOME PROBLEMS WITH 00:08:08.487 --> 00:08:09.455 line:85% position:38% size:55% THE EQUIPMENT, THOUGH. 00:08:09.522 --> 00:08:10.323 line:85% position:33% size:43% NOT GOING TO LIE. 00:08:10.389 --> 00:08:11.090 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> HEY, SPOCK. 00:08:11.157 --> 00:08:11.991 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> DON'T TELL ME. 00:08:12.058 --> 00:08:13.426 line:85% position:50% size:78% YOU'RE ME, FROM THE FUTURE, BUT 00:08:13.492 --> 00:08:14.493 line:85% position:38% size:55% SOMEHOW I TURN INTO AN 00:08:14.560 --> 00:08:15.528 line:85% position:38% size:53% OVERWEIGHT BLACK GUY. 00:08:15.595 --> 00:08:16.896 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> UH, NO, I'M ERNIE. 00:08:16.963 --> 00:08:18.731 line:85% position:48% size:75% JUST HEADING DOWN THE HALLWAY. 00:08:18.798 --> 00:08:20.132 line:85% position:38% size:55% LIVE LONG AND BITE ME. 00:08:20.199 --> 00:08:21.500 line:85% position:48% size:75% DAMN, SOMEONE SET THEIR PHASER 00:08:21.567 --> 00:08:22.435 line:85% position:35% size:48% TO STANK BACK HERE! 00:08:22.501 --> 00:08:23.469 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 00:08:23.536 --> 00:08:24.837 line:85% position:48% size:75% WHY ARE ALL YOU SPOCKS MEETING 00:08:24.904 --> 00:08:25.972 line:85% position:40% size:60% ME AT THIS EXACT MOMENT? 00:08:26.038 --> 00:08:27.206 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> DIDN'T YOU GET THE NOTE? 00:08:27.273 --> 00:08:28.441 line:85% position:43% size:65% IT'S ALL OF OUR BIRTHDAYS. 00:08:28.507 --> 00:08:29.609 line:85% position:43% size:63% WE'RE THROWING A SURPRISE 00:08:29.675 --> 00:08:31.644 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR SUPER-OLD SPOCK. 00:08:31.711 --> 00:08:32.645 line:85% position:50% size:78% HE TURNS 2,000 YEARS OLD TODAY, 00:08:32.712 --> 00:08:33.980 line:85% position:48% size:75% AND THIS WAS THE BEST PLACE WE 00:08:34.046 --> 00:08:34.881 line:85% position:33% size:45% COULD ALL MEET UP. 00:08:34.947 --> 00:08:36.015 line:85% position:40% size:60% ARE ALL THE OTHER SPOCKS 00:08:36.082 --> 00:08:36.449 line:85% position:18% size:15% READY? 00:08:36.515 --> 00:08:38.217 line:85% position:23% size:23% >> READY! 00:08:38.284 --> 00:08:39.585 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> IT SEEMS SO ILLOGICAL TO 00:08:39.652 --> 00:08:40.920 line:85% position:45% size:68% TRAVEL THROUGH TIME TO THIS 00:08:40.987 --> 00:08:41.520 line:85% position:23% size:23% LOCATION. 00:08:41.587 --> 00:08:42.488 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 00:08:42.555 --> 00:08:43.155 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> [ GROANS ] 00:08:43.222 --> 00:08:43.723 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> [ Monotone ] GO SPOCK. 00:08:43.789 --> 00:08:44.423 line:85% position:35% size:48% IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. 00:08:44.490 --> 00:08:46.392 line:85% position:45% size:70% IT IS THE DAY OF YOUR BIRTH. 00:08:46.459 --> 00:08:47.827 line:10% position:48% size:75% >> BY THE YEAR 2013, DUE TO AN 00:08:47.894 --> 00:08:49.262 line:10% position:48% size:75% INSATIABLE DESIRE OF AUDIENCES 00:08:49.328 --> 00:08:50.463 line:10% position:40% size:60% EVERYWHERE, ALMOST EVERY 00:08:50.529 --> 00:08:51.631 line:10% position:40% size:60% TELEVISION SHOW INVOLVED 00:08:51.697 --> 00:08:52.965 line:10% position:45% size:68% VAMPIRES, AND THE ONES THAT 00:08:53.032 --> 00:08:54.133 line:10% position:40% size:60% DIDN'T FAILED MISERABLY. 00:08:54.200 --> 00:08:55.534 line:10% position:48% size:73% NOW WE OFFER YOU A GLIMPSE OF 00:08:55.601 --> 00:08:57.603 line:10% position:40% size:60% THIS VERY BLOODY FUTURE. 00:08:57.670 --> 00:08:58.504 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> THIS WEEK ON 00:08:58.571 --> 00:08:59.739 line:85% position:35% size:50% "VAMPIRE MEDICAL"... 00:08:59.805 --> 00:09:00.439 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> GUNSHOT WOUND. 00:09:00.506 --> 00:09:01.307 line:85% position:40% size:58% HE'S LOSING BLOOD FAST. 00:09:01.374 --> 00:09:02.208 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> LET'S GET HIM A BLOOD 00:09:02.275 --> 00:09:02.942 line:85% position:33% size:45% TRANSFUSION, STAT. 00:09:03.009 --> 00:09:04.110 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> WE'RE ALL OUT OF BLOOD AGAIN, 00:09:04.176 --> 00:09:04.543 line:85% position:20% size:18% DOCTOR. 00:09:04.610 --> 00:09:05.244 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> DAMN IT! 00:09:05.311 --> 00:09:05.978 line:85% position:45% size:68% WHO HERE KEEPS DRINKING ALL 00:09:06.045 --> 00:09:06.746 line:85% position:23% size:25% THE BLOOD? 00:09:06.812 --> 00:09:07.613 line:85% position:50% size:78% ALL RIGHT, WE'RE PROBABLY GONNA 00:09:07.680 --> 00:09:08.347 line:85% position:30% size:38% LOSE HIM, THEN. 00:09:08.414 --> 00:09:09.482 line:85% position:48% size:75% MIGHT AS WELL GET TOGETHER AND 00:09:09.548 --> 00:09:10.449 line:85% position:40% size:58% DRINK ALL OF HIS BLOOD. 00:09:10.516 --> 00:09:11.017 line:85% position:23% size:25% [ SHINK! ] 00:09:11.083 --> 00:09:11.684 line:85% position:25% size:30% [ ALL HISS ] 00:09:11.751 --> 00:09:13.619 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> AAAAAAAH! 00:09:17.056 --> 00:09:18.791 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> IS IT "I WANT TO SUCK YOUR 00:09:18.858 --> 00:09:19.592 line:85% position:23% size:23% [BLEEP]"? 00:09:19.659 --> 00:09:20.960 line:85% position:25% size:30% [ LAUGHTER ] 00:09:21.027 --> 00:09:22.028 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> HELP! HELP ME! 00:09:22.094 --> 00:09:23.763 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> WE'VE GOT TO SAVE THAT KID! 00:09:23.829 --> 00:09:24.597 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> WE CAN'T! 00:09:24.664 --> 00:09:26.432 line:85% position:50% size:80% WE'LL BE BURNED IN THE SUNLIGHT! 00:09:26.499 --> 00:09:27.800 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> I'M WEARING SPF 100. 00:09:27.867 --> 00:09:29.035 line:85% position:35% size:50% I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT. 00:09:29.101 --> 00:09:31.237 line:85% position:25% size:28% [ PANTING ] 00:09:31.304 --> 00:09:32.471 line:85% position:20% size:18% [BLEEP] 00:09:32.538 --> 00:09:33.806 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> IT'S 3 AND 2 TO DEREK JETER. 00:09:33.873 --> 00:09:34.874 line:85% position:40% size:60% HERE'S THE PITCH, AND... 00:09:34.941 --> 00:09:36.042 line:85% position:50% size:78% IT'S A BASE HIT STRAIGHT UP THE 00:09:36.108 --> 00:09:37.109 line:85% position:48% size:73% MIDDLE BUT JETER TRIPS ON HIS 00:09:37.176 --> 00:09:37.643 line:85% position:18% size:13% CAPE! 00:09:37.710 --> 00:09:38.311 line:85% position:33% size:45% SO DOES RODRIGUEZ! 00:09:38.377 --> 00:09:39.178 line:85% position:43% size:65% MARTINEZ RUNS TO MAKE WHAT 00:09:39.245 --> 00:09:40.246 line:85% position:48% size:75% SHOULD BE AN EASY STOP, AND HE 00:09:40.313 --> 00:09:41.147 line:85% position:40% size:58% TRIPS ON HIS CAPE, TOO! 00:09:41.213 --> 00:09:42.315 line:85% position:50% size:78% AGAIN, THE CAPE ISSUE REARS ITS 00:09:42.381 --> 00:09:43.282 line:85% position:43% size:63% UGLY HEAD IN MAJOR LEAGUE 00:09:43.349 --> 00:09:43.816 line:85% position:23% size:23% BASEBALL. 00:09:43.883 --> 00:09:44.850 line:85% position:18% size:15% >> OW! 00:09:44.917 --> 00:09:46.452 line:10% position:50% size:78% >> IT'S LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO 00:09:46.519 --> 00:09:48.054 line:10% position:50% size:78% MAKE GOOD PASTA WITHOUT GARLIC. 00:09:48.120 --> 00:09:49.422 line:10% position:43% size:65% BUT SINCE I'M A VAMPIRE OR 00:09:49.488 --> 00:09:50.957 line:10% position:48% size:73% WHATEVER, I DON'T USE GARLIC, 00:09:51.023 --> 00:09:52.325 line:10% position:43% size:65% BECAUSE VAMPIRES DON'T USE 00:09:52.391 --> 00:09:53.826 line:10% position:48% size:73% GARLIC AND MY PRODUCER SAID I 00:09:53.893 --> 00:09:54.994 line:10% position:38% size:53% NEED TO BE A VAMPIRE. 00:09:55.061 --> 00:09:56.062 line:10% position:35% size:48% THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 00:09:56.128 --> 00:09:57.363 line:10% position:40% size:60% DO I REALLY NEED TO BE A 00:09:57.430 --> 00:09:57.930 line:10% position:20% size:20% VAMPIRE? 00:09:57.997 --> 00:09:58.864 line:10% position:30% size:40% >> YEAH, MARTHA, 00:09:58.931 --> 00:09:59.966 line:10% position:35% size:50% IT'S A NETWORK RULE. 00:10:00.032 --> 00:10:00.900 line:10% position:30% size:40% SORRY, GOT TO -- 00:10:00.967 --> 00:10:01.934 line:10% position:33% size:45% YEAH IT'S VAMPIRE. 00:10:02.001 --> 00:10:04.136 line:10% position:48% size:75% >> FINE, I'M A STUPID VAMPIRE. 00:10:04.203 --> 00:10:05.204 line:10% position:23% size:25% [ SHINK! ] 00:10:05.271 --> 00:10:06.739 line:10% position:23% size:25% [ HISSES ] 00:10:06.806 --> 00:10:08.941 line:10% position:10% size:75% align:start >> VAMPIRES ARE VERY BIG RIGHT NOW. 00:10:09.008 --> 00:10:10.042 line:10% position:45% size:70% WOULD YOU SAY REO SPEEDWAGON 00:10:10.109 --> 00:10:11.277 line:10% position:40% size:60% ARE A LOT LIKE VAMPIRES? 00:10:11.344 --> 00:10:13.646 line:10% position:43% size:65% YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU SUCK? 00:10:13.713 --> 00:10:14.513 line:10% position:25% size:30% >> [ SIGHS ] 00:10:14.580 --> 00:10:16.415 line:10% position:10% size:63% align:start OH, GREAT, ANOTHER AMBUSH INTERVIEW. 00:10:16.482 --> 00:10:17.249 line:10% position:25% size:30% [ WHISTLES ] 00:10:17.316 --> 00:10:19.051 line:10% position:10% size:63% align:start HEY, BRING THE SPEEDWAGON AROUND. 00:10:19.118 --> 00:10:20.052 line:10% position:33% size:45% WE'RE OUT OF HERE. 00:10:20.119 --> 00:10:21.721 line:10% position:48% size:75% >> ♪ YOU'VE GOT TO GO WITH THE 00:10:21.787 --> 00:10:23.422 line:10% position:50% size:78% FLOW WHEN THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO 00:10:23.489 --> 00:10:26.058 line:10% position:45% size:70% AND YOUR MUSIC FLOWS, YEAH ♪ 00:10:26.125 --> 00:10:29.795 line:10% position:43% size:65% ♪ YEAH, YOUR MUSIC FLOWS ♪ 00:10:35.067 --> 00:10:36.936 line:10% position:20% size:20% >> WHOO!