[ THUNDER CRASHING ]
[ DRILLING, SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]
>> IT'S ALIVE!
>> AND YOU ARE ONE WORD AWAY
FROM WINNING.
HERE IS YOUR FINAL PASSWORD.
>> OKAY, THIS IS SOMETHING
REALLY SMALL.
>> A HOBBIT?
>> UH, NO.
UM...IT GETS HOT.
IT BURNS THINGS.
>> I KNOW -- SMAUG THE DRAGON.
>> NO!
FORGET IT. PASS.
>> YOU SHALL NOT PASS.
>> YES, PASS!
PASS!
>> YOU SHALL NOT PASS.
>> PASS, DAMN IT!
>> YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
[ LAUGHS ] I'M JUST KIDDING.
I'M AN ALL-SEEING WIZARD, AND
THE WORD IS "TOASTER."
[ DING! DING! DING! DING! ]
>> [ Weakly ] I LOVE YOU ALL SO
MUCH.
>> GRANDMA, DON'T GO!
IT'S OKAY, CHILD.
I'M GONNA BE WITH JESUS.
I'M COMIN', LORD.
>> [ SHOUTS ]
>> AAH!
>> HEY, HEY, HEY, MAN!
WHAT'S THE DEAL?
>> WHAT?
JUST DOIN' THE OLD JOBBARINO.
>> SHE WAS ASCENDING TO HEAVEN
PEACEFULLY!
AND YOU JUST --
>> REAPED THE [BLEEP] OUT OF
HER!
YEAH, BUDDY!
>> DAD!
WHY DO WE EVEN NEED A GRIM
REAPER?
HE'S NOT IN THE BIBLE!
>> YES, I AM.
>> UH, NO.
THERE'S A PERSONIFICATION OF
DEATH IN THE BIBLE, BUT HE SURE
DOESN'T LOOK LIKE SOME [BLEEP]
CARTOON CHARACTER.
>> WELL, I SUPPOSE JESUS HAS A
POINT.
GLADYS, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> OH, IT IS NOT MY PLACE TO
JUDGE, LORD.
>> OH, STOP FRONTING, GLADYS!
>> NOW, NOW, GLADYS.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR MODESTY.
>> I KIND OF THINK DYING IS
SCARY ENOUGH WITHOUT A ROBED
SKELETON WITH A KNIFE POPPING
OUT AT YOU.
>> THANK YOU!
>> FINE.
I'M NOT STICKING AROUND IF I'M
NOT WANTED.
BUT I HAVE ONE MORE THING TO
SAY.
[ SHOUTS ] HA HA!
>> YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
>> DID IT.
>> YOU CAN'T DIE IN HEAVEN!
DAD, TELL HIM!
>> WELL, ACTUALLY, YOU CAN.
YOU SEE, IF YOU DIE IN HEAVEN,
YOU GO TO...SUPERHEAVEN.
>> WHAT?!
>> SUPERHEAVEN IS AWESOME!
WHOO!
WHOO-HOO!
>> WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BABY,
PRECIOUS?
>> I ATE MY BABY.
I ATE ALL MY BABIES!
[ ROARING ]
>> NO!
>> [ ROARING CONTINUES ]
BABIES!
[ ROARING CONTINUES ]
NO ARMY!
[ ROARING CONTINUES ]
WHERE'S MY BABIES?!
>> YEP, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
"PRECIOUS."
>> WOW, THAT DOESN'T SOUND
OSCAR-WORTHY AT ALL.
>> THAT'S HOW I FELT!
>> I GUESS I DON'T HAVE TO RENT
IT.
>> MENTOS!
THE FRESHMAKER!
>> OKAY, YOU BOYS GO PLAY
COWBOYS AND INDIANS, AND I'LL BE
RIGHT BACK.
>> OKAY, MOM!
[ GRUNTS ]
>> [ GASPING ]
DON'T FIGHT IT.
>> [ Straining ] WHY?
>> YEAH.
>> WELL, COME ON.
LET'S GET HIM IN THE OVEN.
>> HONEY, SLOW DOWN.
SLOW DOWN, PLEASE.
>> NO, I GOTTA GO FAST!
GOTTA GO FAST!
ON THE WAY THERE, DRILLING,
DRILLING, DRILLING.
OH, GOSH! IT'S COMING OUT!
IT'S COMING OUT!
>> NO, DON'T --
>> IT'S COMING OUT ALL OVER THE
PLACE!
UGH, AND IT JUST KEEPS COMING
OUT!
I CAN'T -- I CAN'T STOP IT!
>> OH, DEAR!
>> I WENT TOO FAST!
>> TONY, IT'S NOT STOPPING!
DON'T GET IT ON THAT SEAGULL!
[ SEAGULLS CRYING ]
>> MY NAME IS DORA THE EXPLORER.
AND I FEAR THIS MOUNTAIN...
WILL BE MY GRAVE.
>> A SNOWMAN!
I LOVE SNOWMEN!
>> IS THERE ANYTHING YOU DON'T
LOVE, BOOTS?
>> TELL HER, MAN.
TELL HER HER HAIR LOOKS LIKE
JAVIER BARDEM IN "NO COUNTRY
FOR OLD MEN."
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE, BOOTS.
DON'T PUSS OUT.
NOPE!
YOU PUSSY.
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> SWIPER, NO SWIPING!
SWIPER, NO SWIPING!
>> B-BUT, DORA, I'M DYING!
I HAVE SEVERE ALTITUDE
SICKNESS!
>> SEE THIS FACE?
>> Y-YES?
>> THIS IS MY "NOT GIVING A
[BLEEP]" FACE.
WHICH WAY SHOULD I GO?
[ CLICKS, DINGS ]
RIGHT!
GOOD CHOICE!
[ DISSONANT BEEP ]
HUH? NO.
I'M PRETTY SURE YOU SAID THIS
WAY.
[ DISSONANT BEEP ]
OH, YOU DIDN'T?
[ DISSONANT BEEP ]
WELL, MAYBE IN JUST THIS
ONE INSTANCE I COULD IGNORE
YOUR ADVICE?
[ DISSONANT BEEP ]
>> FINE!
[ PANTING ]
HERE'S ANOTHER CHOICE FOR YOU.
GUESS WHICH FINGER.
I HOPE YOU GUESSED THE ONE THAT
MEANS [BLEEP] YOU!
>> DORA! BOOTS!
>> DIEGO!
>> I'M COMING, TOO!
[ CRACK ]
W-WHAT WAS THAT?
[ CRACKING ]
DORA!
>> WHERE IS YOUR SAFETY HARNESS?
>> PAYBACK'S A BITCH.
>> HELP!
>> I'M COMING, DIEGO!
[ BIRD SCREECHES ]
>> I RESCUED SOME CONDORS ONCE!
ARE YOU HERE TO RETURN THE
FAV-- OW!
WHY DIDN'T WE LEARN FROM THE
CROCODILE HUNTER?
DORA?!
>> AAH, I CAN'T...HANG...ON!
>> IT'S OKAY, DORA.
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO "GO, DIEGO,
GO..."
TO HEAVEN!
>> DIEGOOOOOOOOOO!
[ PANTS ]
WE DID IT!
[ BAND PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE ]
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
>> I'M AN EXPLORER.
FOOD IS FOOD.
>> [ Trembling ] HELP...ME.
>> Got you something.
[ GUN CLICKS ]
>> YOU BITCH.
[ Trembling ] REAPER, NO
REAPING.
REAPER, NO REAPING.
REAPER, NO --
>> [ SHOUTS, CHUCKLES ]
>> [ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]
WELL, MR. FASOLO, IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'VE DEVELOPED A KIDNEY STONE.
>> YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
>> BRUCE WILLIS STARRED IN
"THE FIFTH ELEMENT."
THEN HE STARRED IN
"THE SIXTH SENSE."
NOW HE'S PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES
ONE STEP FURTHER.
BRUCE WILLIS IN...
"THE SEVENTH VOWEL."
>> EVERYONE KNOWS "A," "E," "I,"
"O," "U," AND SOMETIMES "Y," BUT
THERE'S ANOTHER VOWEL OUT THERE.
IT'S UGHHRT.
UGHHRT.
>> UHRT.
>> UGHHRT.
>> UHRGZ?
>> UGHHRT.
>> WUGHRNT.
>> YIPPEE-KI-YAY, MOTHER UGHHRT!
>> COMING THIS SUMMER TO A
THEATER NEAR URGHHRT.
>> ♪ FLYING CAR, FLYING CAR ♪
♪ LOVE CRUISIN' 'ROUND
IN MY FLYIN' CAR ♪
>> UGH, HERMAN, YOU HAVE LESS
THAN 1/4 TANK.
>> I'LL DRIVE ON THE REGULAR
ROAD WHEN IT'S 1/8 OF A TANK.
>> YOU WILL NOT TAKE THAT RISK.
THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS CAR!
>> ♪ FLYING CAR, FLYING CAR ♪
♪ BITCH MUST HAVE FORGOT WHO
PAID FOR THIS FLYING CAR ♪
>> I CAN HEAR YOU.
>> EAT, AND YOU WILL BE AS GOD
IS -- KNOWING GOOD AND EVIL.
>> [ INHALES DEEPLY ]
I DON'T KNOW...
>> JUST DO IT, YOU PUSSY.
>> [ CHOMPING ]
OH, MY GOD.
WE'RE...NAKED!
>> YES, YOUR NAKEDNESS IS
SHAMEFUL!
COVER YOURSELVES!
>> I'M SORRY.
WE -- WE DIDN'T KNOW!
>> NOW YOU SEE THE WORLD AS I
DO!
>> WAIT, YOU KNEW WE WERE NAKED
THIS WHOLE TIME AND DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING?
>> WELL, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO
KNOW!
>> YEAH, WE GET THAT.
BUT YOU DID KNOW.
MY [BLEEP] JUST SWINGING ON OUT
HERE!
THANKS FOR THE HEADS-UP.
>> LET'S MOVE ON.
>> COME ON, GOD!
WE HAD A CONVERSATION WHILE I
WAS JOGGING YESTERDAY.
THESE THINGS MUST HAVE BEEN
FLYING EVERYWHERE.
NO WONDER YOU WERE DISTRACTED.
>> WELL, I WORK IN MYSTERIOUS
WAYS.
>> HEY, GOD, WERE YOU CHECKING
OUT MY GIRL'S TITS?
>> UH...
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
GET OUT! GET OUT OF THE GARDEN.
YOU'RE BOTH BANNED.
>> YEAH, WE BUSTED HIM.
>> YEAH, YOU ENJOY CHILDBIRTH,
BITCH!
>> OKAY, SIR.
JUST SIT BACK, CROSS YOUR ARMS
OVER YOUR CHEST, AND WAIT FOR
THE WATER.
>> I KNOW WHAT TO DO, STUPID!
OW! OH, GOD!
WHY IS THERE NO WATER!
OW!
>> WHO'S NEXT?!
>> SHHH!
WARNAH BWOATHAS STANDARDS AND
PWACTICES SAYS I'M NOT AWOWWED
TO USE A GUN ANYMORE.
THAT'S MY WIVEWIHOOD.
I'LL SHOW THEM.
[ LAUGHING ]
[ SOBBING ]
>> YOU SHALL NOT PA--
[ HORN BLARES ]
[ CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ AH-WOOGAH! ]
[ CIRCUS MUSIC SLOWS ]
[ CHILDREN SCREAMING ]
[ TRUCK HORN BLARES ]
[ HORN BLARES ]
>> [ GIGGLES ]
[ SOBBING ]
>> WHEW!
NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS.
[ HORN HONKS ]
I KNOW YOUR FATHER LOVED YOU
VERY MUCH.
>> [ CRYING ]
[ WATER SPLASHES ]
[ GASPS ]
>> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
BA-GAWK! BAWK.