[ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
[ SAWING ] [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
IT'S ALIVE!
[ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
[ SMOOCH! ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
HEY, YOU'RE NEW AROUND HERE, RIGHT?
YEP. BARELY BEEN PLAYED.
LITTLE ADVICE -- POP OUT ONE OF THOSE CONNECTOR PINS FROM
YOUR CIRCUIT BOARD.
WHAT?
BUT THEN I WON'T WORK RIGHT.
JUST TRUST ME.
HEY, IT'S NOT WORKING.
[ BLOWING ] OH! OH, YEAH!
OH, MY GOD!
OH, YEAH!
WOW, THAT CLOUD TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE A DUDE!
YOU'RE RIGHT!
AND LOOK! TWO MORE!
[ LAUGHS ] IT LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THEM HAS
A KNIFE!
YEAH, AND THEY'RE KILLING THAT OTHER ONE!
HEY! WE'RE CALLIN' THE COPS!
WHO SAID THAT?!
WE GOT WITNESSES.
OH, YEAH?
WE GOT TWO HEROES?!
YOU DIDN'T SEE NOTHIN'.
DON'T MAKE ME COME AFTER YOUR FAMILY.
WHAT?
JUST DO WHAT THEY SAY, TIMMY!
MOM?!
CALL 911!
I SAID NO COPS!
AAAAAAAH!
NO! [ CRYING ] HEY, LOOK! A TURTLE!
MY MIND IS GOING, DAVE.
I CAN FEEL IT.
DR. LANGLEY TAUGHT ME TO SING A SONG.
I CAN SING IT FOR YOU.
YES, I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT, HAL.
SING IT FOR ME.
IT'S CALLED "SMELL YO DICK" BY RISKAY.
I AIN'T THAT BITCH...
YOU WANT TO PLAY WIT...
FUCK DROP THEM BOXERS...
LET ME SMELL YO DICK.
YOU WERE RIGHT, MAX!
LINKING THE ROBOT TO MY MOVEMENTS WAS THE KEY TO OUR
VICTORY!
I LOVE YOU, DAD!
AAGH!
I LOVE YOU, MAX!
[ SCREAMING ] AW, I COULD SQUEEZE YOU IN
HALF!
SOMEBODY NEEDS A NOOGIE!
NOOGIE!
NO, NO, NO, PLEASE -- ARGH!
♪ NOW SETTLE DOWN FOR A LITTLE WHILE ♪
♪ GONNA TELL YOU 'BOUT A KID NAMED JOSH ♪
♪ HE WAS BORN IN A SUBURB OF FLORIDA ♪
♪ WITH A SISTER, A MOM, AND A DAD ♪
♪ HE'S NOT GREAT WITH THE LADIES, BUT HE'S GOOD AT MATH ♪
♪ AND HE LIVES IN A CRAZY HOUSE ♪
♪ BA-DA BA ♪ AND THEN ONE DAY JOSH GOT A
LETTER FROM AN ACTING SCHOOL IN FRANCE ♪
♪ SO HE WENT TO FRANCE AND NOW HE'S THERE ♪
♪ WITH PIERRE THE SNOB AND BRIGITTE THE BOMBSHELL ♪
♪ AND THEY LIVE IN A CRAZY HOUSE ♪
♪ BA-DA BA ♪ BUT THEN JOSH FLUNKED OUT OF
ACTING SCHOOL AND WENT BACK TO THE CRAZY HOUSE FROM BEFORE ♪
♪ AND NOW HE'S BACK WITH HIS MOM AND DAD ♪
♪ WHAT A DRAG AT 24 ♪ BA-DA BA
♪ AND THEN ONE DAY JOSH WAS WALKING ALONG AND HE FOUND A
TALKING SNAKE ♪ ♪ AND THE SNAKE TOLD HIM TO MOVE
BACK TO FRANCE ♪ ♪ SO THEY WENT BACK TO FRANCE
AND FOUND PIERRE ♪ ♪ BUT BRIGITTE WAS MARRIED
♪ SO NOW IT'S JOSH, PIERRE, AND THE SNAKE ♪
♪ AND THEY LIVE IN A CRAZY HOUSE ♪
♪ BA-DA BA ♪ AND THEN THE SNAKE BIT JOSH
AND PIERRE, SO THEY DECIDED TO PUT HIM TO SLEEP ♪
♪ BUT THE FRENCH VETERINARIAN FELT BAD FOR THE SNAKE ♪
♪ SO SHE DECIDED TO SAVE THE SNAKE IN SECRET ♪
♪ AND SHE BROUGHT THE SNAKE BACK TO WHERE SHE LIVES WITH HER
QUIRKY ROOMMATE BETH AND ANOTHER TALKING SNAKE ♪
♪ AND THEY LIVE IN A CRAZY HOUSE ♪
♪ IT'S A VET, A WEIRDO, AND TWO TALKING SNAKES ♪
♪ A VET, A WEIRDO, AND TWO TALKING SNAKES ♪
♪ JOSH NEVER APPEARS AGAIN ♪ BA-DA BA
[ GRUNTING ] [ CROWD CHEERS ]
[ BEEP ] OKAY, SO, SHOULD WE
STRATEGIZE OR -- OH, NO, YOU GUYS ARE ALREADY RUNNING.
WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!
IS ANYBODY ELSE WINDED ALREADY?
UNDER FIRE!
GET DOWN!
OH, THAT'S SHARP.
I SHOULDN'T BE RUNNING WITH THAT.
[ GUNFIRE ] COOL!
OH, MAN, THAT'S HEAVY.
OOH, MY INHALER!
GONNA NEED THAT LATER.
OW! OW!
MEDIC!
YOU'VE BEEN SHOT?
LET ME HEAL YOU!
WELL, NOT SHOT, BUT I REALLY MIGHT HAVE TWISTED MY ANKLE!
WELL, ACTUALLY, NOT TWISTED IT, REALLY, BUT I MIGHT HAVE
DEFINITELY PUT MY WEIGHT ON IT WRONG.
THIS IS A COMBAT ZONE, YOU FOOL!
ACTUALLY, MY ANKLE FEELS OKAY, BUT I JUST REALLY NEED
SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
I MEAN, WAR IS SCARY!
AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET BACK TO THE HOME FRONT?
THAT'S WHEN THE REAL BATTLE BEGINS, AM I RIGHT?
THE EMOTIONAL TOLL.
IS THAT YOUR HEALING LASER?
[ LAUGHS ] I WILL RE-SPAWN!
SO, WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU LOOK FOR IN A MAN?
[ GROANS ] SENSE OF HUMOR?
♪ JUST HEAR ME SHARE-A-LYN ♪ FEELING SO DARE-A-LYN
♪ LOVE MY BLOND HAIR-A-LYN ♪ LET ME PLAY MARILYN
OH, BOY, THAT KATHERINE McPHEE SURE CAN SING!
MR. SPIELBERG, YOU SHOULDN'T BE PRODUCING TV SHOWS.
YOU SHOULD BE MAKING MOVIES!
UGH, THE STUDIOS JUST WANT REMAKES!
THEY EVEN WANT ME TO REMAKE MY OWN MOVIES!
♪ GOOD LORD, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? ♪
♪ THAT'S DiMAGGIO'S PENIS WOULD A REMAKE REALLY BE SO
BAD, SIR?
FINE! THEY WANT A REMAKE?
I'LL GIVE THEM THE MOTHER OF ALL REMAKES, SPIELBERG-STYLE!
[ BOMBS WHISTLING ] AW, MAN, I DIDN'T SIGN UP
FOR THIS!
WE'RE DOOMED!
NOT SO FAST!
HERE COMES WAR HORSE!
LET'S GET 'EM, WAR HORSE!
NEIGH!
HOPE YOU BRUSHED YOUR PUBES TODAY, ALBERT, BECAUSE WE'RE
ABOUT TO GO...
BALLS DEEP!
[ NEIGHS ] [ WHIP CRACKING ]
ALL RIGHT, WAR HORSE!
ONE HORSE CAN'T WIN THE WAR!
NO, BUT E.T. MIGHT EVEN THE ODDS!
HE WHO GIVETH LIFE CAN ALSO TAKETH AWAY.
[ GRUNTS ] [ GRUNTS ]
OUCH.
BUT I THOUGHT ALIENS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE AND CUDDLY!
NOT ANYMORE!
KILLER ALIENS ARE BIG BOX OFFICE!
I KEEP UP. I READ THE TRADES.
MEIN HEARTLIGHT!
[ GRUNTS ]
I'M POOR, BLACK, AND UGLY,
BUT I'M HERE TO FUCK YOU UP!
WHOA!
CELIE FROM "THE COLOR PURPLE" IS ONE BAD MOTHER--
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'M JUST TALKIN' ABOUT CELIE FROM THE 1985 FILM
"THE COLOR PURPLE"!
LOOK!
HERE COMES TINTIN RIDING A VELOCIRAPTOR RIDING JAWS!
ACH, COME ON! TIME-OUT!
[ VELOCIRAPTOR SHRIEKS ] DEAD EYES, LIKE A DOLL'S
EYES!
IT'S CALLED THE UNCANNY VALLEY!
IT HAPPENS IN ANIMATION WHEN THE HUMAN EYE SEES SOMETHING IT
DOESN'T RECOGNIZE AS REAL, BUT THE DESIGN OF IT IS SO
PHOTO-REAL -- TOP OF THE MORNIN', GUV'NER!
RGH!
♪ DO-DO DO-DO-DO ♪ BA DO-DA LO-DA-LO-DO-DO-DO
WE DID IT, SWIFT WIND!
THE HORDE WON'T BOTHER US AGAIN ANYTIME SOON.
NOW LET'S TURN BACK INTO PLAIN OLD PRINCESS ADORA AND HER
HORSE, SPIRIT.
IT'S MEATLOAF NIGHT AT THE CASTLE.
NO, NO! WAIT, WAIT!
LET ME LAND BEFORE YOU -- AAH!
OH, MY GOD, BITCH!
I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!
SPIRIT!
[ Crying ] I'M SO SORRY!
IT SEEMS LIKE A SIMPLE RULE OF THUMB FUCKHEAD!
IF WE WERE IN THE AIR, I NEED MY MAGIC FUCKING WINGS.
NOW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET ME A FUCKING DOCTOR.
[ CRYING ] A DOCTOR CAN'T HELP YOU!
HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE!
YOU FUCK UP THE LANDING AND I GET THE DEATH PENALTY?!
A HORSE'S BROKEN LEG WILL NEVER HEAL!
ALMOST 50% OF A HORSE'S BONES ARE IN ITS LIMBS.
BESIDES WHICH, 65% OF A HORSE'S WEIGHT RESTS ON ITS FRONT LEGS.
YOU'VE SURE LOADED UP BOTH BARRELS WITH A LOT OF
HIGH-CALIBER EUTHANASIA FACTOIDS, SISTER.
HAVE YOU BEEN PLANNING FOR THIS?
IT'S JUST PART OF BEING A RESPONSIBLE HORSE OWNER.
OH, MY GOODNESS!
WHAT'S HAPPENED?
OH, IT'S TERRIBLE, CASTASPELLA!
THAT EVIL HORDAK MADE US SWITCH BODIES AGAIN.
I'M REALLY PRINCESS ADORA, AND SHE'S REALLY SPIRIT.
WELL, THAT'S EASILY REMEDIED.
MAGICAL MIND SWAP!
WAIT!
OW! MY LEG!
WELL, YOU KNOW, 65% OF THE BONES, BLAH-BLAH-BLAH.
OH! BUT I-I'M MAGIC!
I COULD HAVE FIXED THAT IN TWO SECONDS.
EH.
WHO'S UP FOR MEATLOAF?
IT'S THE TOP OF THE HOUR ON KGI A.M. 780.
♪ A.M. RADIO ♪ IT STILL EXI-I-I-I-STS
HA HA!
THE PERFECT PLAN!
SECURITY WOULD NOTICE SKELETOR AND BEAST MAN SNEAKING IN.
BUT AS BABIES, WE ARE UNDETECTABLE!
UH, I DON'T LIKE THIS, BOSS.
WHEN CAN WE TURN BACK?
THE SPELL WEARS OFF IN ONE HOUR.
BY THEN, WE'LL HAVE INFILTRATED THE ROYAL CHAMBERS AND --
[ COOS ] UH-OH.
UH, HOW MUCH OF THAT DID YOU HEAR?
UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, MY GOD!
[ FARTS ] THAT'S DISGUSTING!
WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT?!
I'M THE ONE WITH HEIGHTENED BEAST SENSES!
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A NOSE!
I SMELL WITH MY TONGUE!
THAT'S HOW MY BODY COMPENSATES!
OKAY, OVER THE FENCE ON THREE.
ONE...
TWO...
THREE!
[ GRUNTING ] THESE PUNY ARMS ARE WORTHLESS!
80% OF MY BODY WEIGHT IS IN MY HEAD!
OH, GOD, NO!
GET AWAY, YOU LITTLE TURD BURGLAR!
[ FARTS ] OH, WHAT A BAD BABY!
NO PUSHING!
OH!
OH, HEY, THIS ISN'T SO BAD.
OH, YEAH!
BABY WANTS MORE!
BOSS, UH, HOW DO YOU WANT TO --
SILENCE, BEAST MAN!
I'M, UH, ADDING A NEW PHASE TO MY PLAN.
[ CRYING ] OH! [ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHS ] YAH! HA HA!
OH, YEAH!
[ GRUNTING ] OH, YEAH!
OH, SPANK THE BLUE OFF MY BAD BABY BOTTOM!
OH!
OH, MY GOSH! IT'S SKELETOR!
OH FUCK I, KING RANDOR, AWARD THIS
MEDAL OF HONOR TO ETERNIA'S GREATEST CHAMPION!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SKELETOR, IF IT WASN'T FOR
YOU, GENERATIONS OF CHILDREN WOULD HAVE SUFFERED AT THE
HANDS OF THAT ABUSIVE NANNY.
HER CYCLE OF VIOLENCE IS FOREVER BROKEN!
THANK YOU!
EH.
UH, HELLO? BOSS?
I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THE SPELL!
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
BA-GAWK! BAWK.