WEBVTT
X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:9000
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[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
00:00:08.942 --> 00:00:10.910 line:21% position:10% size:60% align:start
[ SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
00:00:18.151 --> 00:00:19.819 line:21% position:28% size:28%
IT'S ALIVE!
00:00:27.360 --> 00:00:32.465 line:21% position:35% size:48%
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
00:00:32.532 --> 00:00:38.138 line:21% position:10% size:43% align:start
[ SMOOCH! ]
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
00:00:38.204 --> 00:00:40.974 line:21% position:10% size:78% align:start
♪ LA LA
AND THAT WAS "LA LA LA LA LA-LA
00:00:41.040 --> 00:00:43.576 line:21% position:10% size:80% align:start
LA-LA LA-LA LA," SMURFING UP THE
CHARTS.
00:00:43.643 --> 00:00:46.780 line:21% position:10% size:73% align:start
BEFORE THAT WE HEARD
"LA LA LA LA-LA LA-LA LA-LA."
00:00:46.846 --> 00:00:50.316 line:21% position:43% size:63%
NOW, AT NUMBER 84, HERE'S
"LA-LA LA, LA-LA LA-LA."
00:00:50.383 --> 00:00:53.386 line:21% position:10% size:40% align:start
♪ LA LA LA-LA LA
♪ SMURF RADIO
00:00:53.453 --> 00:00:55.255 line:21% position:38% size:55%
[ GUN COCKS, GUNSHOT ]
00:00:55.455 --> 00:00:57.323 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
[ VIDEO-GAME MUSIC PLAY ]
[ BEE ]
00:01:06.299 --> 00:01:09.836 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
[ POP! POP! POP! POP! POP ]
[ POWER-UP BEEPING ]
00:01:09.903 --> 00:01:13.006 line:79% position:10% size:25% align:start
[ VOMITS ]
[ POP ]
00:01:13.072 --> 00:01:15.708 line:79% position:43% size:65%
IT'S TIME TO TAKE DOWN THE
MASTER CONTROL PROGRAM!
00:01:15.775 --> 00:01:17.644 line:79% position:50% size:65%
BUT, TRON, ARE WE POWERFUL
ENOUGH?
00:01:17.710 --> 00:01:18.678 line:85% position:28% size:30%
DON'T WORRY.
00:01:18.745 --> 00:01:21.114 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
THERE'S A NEW PROGRAM ON THE
GRID THAT CAN HELP US.
00:01:21.181 --> 00:01:22.182 line:85% position:25% size:28%
HEY, BASIC!
00:01:22.248 --> 00:01:23.783 line:85% position:20% size:15%
HELLO.
00:01:23.850 --> 00:01:24.751 line:85% position:23% size:25%
LET'S SEE.
00:01:24.818 --> 00:01:27.287 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
"10, PRINT, MASTER CONTROL
PROGRAM EATS FARTS.
00:01:27.353 --> 00:01:28.655 line:85% position:28% size:33%
20, GOTO 10."
00:01:28.721 --> 00:01:32.459 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
[ COMPUTER BEEPING ]
I DO NOT!
00:01:32.525 --> 00:01:35.962 line:79% position:45% size:68%
PREPARE YOURSELF FOR
ANIMATION INTENSITY WITH...
00:01:36.029 --> 00:01:37.597 line:85% position:35% size:50%
"THE STREET SHARKS"!
00:01:37.664 --> 00:01:40.834 line:79% position:45% size:70%
IT'S IN-YOUR-FACE, HALF-MAN,
HALF-SHARK ACTION THAT'S...
00:01:40.900 --> 00:01:43.169 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM THE NINJA
TURTLES!
00:01:43.236 --> 00:01:46.005 line:79% position:50% size:80%
THINK THIS IS A STORY ABOUT FOUR
ANIMALS TURNING INTO FUN-LOVING
00:01:46.072 --> 00:01:46.840 line:85% position:18% size:15%
TEENS?
00:01:46.906 --> 00:01:48.274 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
[ BUZZER ]
[ Deep voice ] THINK AGAIN!
00:01:48.341 --> 00:01:51.511 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
[ Normal voice ] IT'S ABOUT FOUR
TEENS WHO TURN INTO ANIMALS!
00:01:51.578 --> 00:01:54.214 line:79% position:18% size:63% align:start
[ ROARS ]
AND WHEN IT COMES TO FUN,
00:01:54.280 --> 00:01:55.548 line:85% position:50% size:73%
THEY CAN TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!
00:01:55.615 --> 00:01:56.783 line:85% position:43% size:58%
[ Surfer accent ] WHOA!
00:01:56.850 --> 00:01:57.917 line:85% position:43% size:63%
NOW, THAT'S A FRESH TAKE!
00:01:57.984 --> 00:02:01.354 line:79% position:48% size:73%
PLUS, YOU WON'T HEAR ANY
HACKNEYED TURTLE PUNS ON THIS
00:02:01.421 --> 00:02:01.788 line:85% position:18% size:13%
SHOW!
00:02:01.855 --> 00:02:03.022 line:85% position:30% size:33%
All: JAWSOME!
00:02:03.089 --> 00:02:05.425 line:79% position:48% size:73%
AND IF YOU'RE WAITING FOR THE
STREET SHARKS TO EAT PIZZA OR
00:02:05.492 --> 00:02:08.027 line:79% position:50% size:70%
MENTION LIKING PIZZA, WELL,
BUDDY, I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE
00:02:08.094 --> 00:02:10.396 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
SOMEWHERE TO BE, 'CAUSE IT'S
GONNA BE A LONG WAIT!
00:02:10.463 --> 00:02:11.464 line:85% position:38% size:48%
WE LIKE HAMBURGERS!
00:02:11.531 --> 00:02:12.398 line:85% position:30% size:33%
AND HOT DOGS!
00:02:12.465 --> 00:02:15.235 line:79% position:40% size:58%
[ ALARM WAILING ]
UNIQUE CHARACTER ALERT!
00:02:15.301 --> 00:02:16.636 line:85% position:40% size:58%
UNIQUE CHARACTER ALERT!
00:02:16.703 --> 00:02:19.305 line:79% position:43% size:63%
"THE STREET SHARKS," THIS
SATURDAY!
00:02:19.372 --> 00:02:23.076 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
IT'S ONE SHELL OF A GOOD TIME --
OH, WAIT.
00:02:24.477 --> 00:02:27.580 line:79% position:35% size:48%
[ NEIGHING ]
WELCOME TO MY BOOK!
00:02:27.647 --> 00:02:30.617 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
WHEN YOU HEAR MY MAGICAL
UNICORN NOISE...
00:02:30.683 --> 00:02:32.886 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
[ TWINKLE ]
...YOU'LL KNOW IT'S TIME TO
00:02:32.952 --> 00:02:34.220 line:85% position:28% size:35%
TURN THE PAGE!
00:02:34.287 --> 00:02:35.388 line:85% position:28% size:33%
LET'S TRY IT.
00:02:35.455 --> 00:02:37.957 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
[ TWINKLE ]
WHAT A LOVELY DAY TO PRANCE
00:02:38.024 --> 00:02:39.259 line:85% position:35% size:48%
THROUGH THE FOREST.
00:02:39.325 --> 00:02:40.827 line:85% position:40% size:60%
SAY, DO YOU HEAR VOICES?
00:02:40.894 --> 00:02:42.829 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
[ CHILDREN GIGGLING ]
[ TWINKLE ]
00:02:42.896 --> 00:02:45.398 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
THOSE KIDS LOOK LIKE THEY'RE
HAVING FUN.
00:02:45.465 --> 00:02:47.967 line:79% position:13% size:75% align:start
BUT I KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT EVEN
MORE FUN!
00:02:48.034 --> 00:02:50.069 line:79% position:10% size:28% align:start
[ TWINKLE ]
[ LAUGH ]
00:02:50.136 --> 00:02:52.672 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
COME AND GET YOUR CLOTHES, IF
YOU CAN!
00:02:52.739 --> 00:02:55.675 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
[ TWINKLE ]
WANT TO HAVE FUN LIKE US?
00:02:55.742 --> 00:02:58.678 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOSE THOSE
CLOTHES!
00:02:58.745 --> 00:03:02.081 line:79% position:13% size:75% align:start
[ TWINKLE ]
REALLY! GET THOSE CLOTHES OFF!
00:03:02.148 --> 00:03:04.918 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start
[ TWINKLE ]
I'M DEAD SERIOUS, KIDS.
00:03:04.984 --> 00:03:07.453 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start
[ TWINKLE ]
[ NEIGHS CONTENTEDLY ]
00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:08.688 line:85% position:28% size:33%
THERE YOU GO.
00:03:08.755 --> 00:03:11.624 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
[ TWINKLE ]
KNOW WHAT'S ALSO FUN?
00:03:11.691 --> 00:03:13.026 line:85% position:33% size:45%
LICKING THIS BOOK!
00:03:13.092 --> 00:03:15.828 line:79% position:15% size:70% align:start
I CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A
TIME!
00:03:15.895 --> 00:03:17.764 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
[ VIDEO-GAME MUSIC PLAY ]
[ LIGHT SWITCH CLICK ]
00:03:24.404 --> 00:03:26.839 line:21% position:45% size:68%
OH, THE MONOTONY OF BEING A
COBBLER!
00:03:26.906 --> 00:03:28.007 line:21% position:33% size:45%
I WISH I WAS DEAD.
00:03:28.074 --> 00:03:29.042 line:21% position:28% size:30%
DON'T WORRY!
00:03:29.108 --> 00:03:30.076 line:21% position:30% size:38%
WE'LL HELP YOU!
00:03:30.143 --> 00:03:31.744 line:21% position:23% size:25%
[ GASPS ]
THANK YOU!
00:03:31.811 --> 00:03:33.746 line:21% position:10% size:40% align:start
[ SHING! ]
[ ALL GRUNTING ]
00:03:33.813 --> 00:03:35.748 line:21% position:10% size:78% align:start
[ GROANS ]
STILL...BETTER THAN...COBBLING!
00:03:35.815 --> 00:03:36.683 line:21% position:23% size:25%
[ GROANS ]
00:03:36.950 --> 00:03:38.818 line:79% position:45% size:68%
OH, IT SAYS HERE PEOPLE ARE
STILL READING NEWSPAPERS.
00:03:38.885 --> 00:03:39.953 line:79% position:10% size:28% align:start
[ WHIR! ]
[ SCREAMS ]
00:03:40.019 --> 00:03:43.656 line:79% position:45% size:68%
[ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS ]
THIS HUMAN IS DEFECATING.
00:03:43.723 --> 00:03:46.526 line:79% position:43% size:65%
FECES IS HARD TO CLEAN OFF
OUR MICRO-SERVERS.
00:03:46.593 --> 00:03:51.965 line:79% position:45% size:70%
WE WILL WAIT UNTIL THE HUMAN
IS FINISHED DEFECATING.
00:03:52.031 --> 00:03:55.435 line:79% position:43% size:65%
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
WELL, I CAN'T GO IF I KNOW
00:03:55.501 --> 00:03:56.836 line:85% position:38% size:53%
YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME!
00:03:56.903 --> 00:03:59.405 line:79% position:50% size:70%
AND WE CAN'T KILL YOU UNLESS
YOU GO.
00:03:59.472 --> 00:04:01.541 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
PARADOX! PARADOX!
00:04:01.608 --> 00:04:04.043 line:85% position:33% size:43%
PARADOX! PARADOX!
00:04:04.110 --> 00:04:05.445 line:85% position:30% size:35%
OH, THANK GOD.
00:04:05.511 --> 00:04:08.014 line:85% position:33% size:43%
[ GROANS, FARTS ]
00:04:08.081 --> 00:04:12.785 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
AND NOW THE HBO ORIGINAL
SERIES "BOARDWALK MONOPOLY."
00:04:12.852 --> 00:04:13.987 line:85% position:30% size:35%
ROLL THE DICE.
00:04:14.053 --> 00:04:15.221 line:85% position:33% size:45%
TAKE YOUR CHANCES.
00:04:15.288 --> 00:04:17.056 line:85% position:48% size:73%
THAT'S THE ATLANTIC CITY WAY.
00:04:17.123 --> 00:04:19.525 line:79% position:43% size:65%
YOU CAN'T BUILD A HOTEL ON
BALTIC!
00:04:19.592 --> 00:04:21.794 line:85% position:48% size:75%
THE HOUSES ARE PEOPLE'S HOMES!
00:04:21.861 --> 00:04:23.896 line:85% position:35% size:48%
I OWN THOSE HOUSES!
00:04:23.963 --> 00:04:27.233 line:85% position:48% size:75%
IT'S CALLED A MONOPOLY, BITCH!
00:04:27.300 --> 00:04:29.902 line:79% position:45% size:70%
THE COMMUNITY CHEST IS YOURS
FOR THE TAKING, PENNYBAGS!
00:04:29.969 --> 00:04:31.170 line:85% position:43% size:60%
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS!
00:04:31.237 --> 00:04:33.606 line:79% position:40% size:60%
[ GROWLING ]
YOU REALLY GONNA FIX THE
00:04:33.673 --> 00:04:35.041 line:85% position:48% size:75%
BEAUTY PAGEANT FOR ME, MISTER?
00:04:35.108 --> 00:04:35.875 line:85% position:28% size:28%
NO PROBLEM!
00:04:35.942 --> 00:04:38.678 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
I'M THE CHAIRMAN OF THE --
BRUUU-OHHHH!
00:04:38.745 --> 00:04:40.613 line:79% position:45% size:68%
AND FOR 2nd PLACE, SHE WINS
$10!
00:04:40.680 --> 00:04:42.615 line:79% position:40% size:58%
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT PIG!
00:04:42.682 --> 00:04:45.385 line:79% position:43% size:65%
I KNEW SOMEDAY IT'D BE YOU
AND ME IN JAIL TOGETHER.
00:04:45.451 --> 00:04:46.586 line:85% position:38% size:48%
NOT ME, OLD FRIEND.
00:04:46.653 --> 00:04:47.587 line:85% position:33% size:45%
I'M JUST VISITING.
00:04:47.654 --> 00:04:50.256 line:79% position:43% size:63%
[ LAUGHS ]
YOU BACKSTABBING BASTARD!
00:04:50.323 --> 00:04:51.758 line:21% position:45% size:63%
I CAME HERE WITH NOTHING.
00:04:51.824 --> 00:04:54.293 line:21% position:10% size:73% align:start
THEN I LANDED ON FREE PARKING
AND WON THE POT!
00:04:54.360 --> 00:04:55.695 line:21% position:43% size:58%
THAT'S NOT A REAL RULE!
00:04:55.762 --> 00:04:56.996 line:21% position:33% size:40%
IT'S HOW I PLAY!
00:04:57.063 --> 00:04:58.197 line:21% position:28% size:35%
[ DOG WHINES ]
00:05:00.133 --> 00:05:01.934 line:79% position:43% size:65%
HEY, LET'S HAVE SEX IN THE
MEN'S ROOM!
00:05:02.001 --> 00:05:03.870 line:79% position:23% size:23%
[ WHIR! ]
DANGER!
00:05:03.936 --> 00:05:05.505 line:85% position:38% size:55%
DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!
00:05:05.571 --> 00:05:07.740 line:79% position:43% size:63%
[ Slurred ] MY NAME ISN'T
WILL ROBINSON.
00:05:07.807 --> 00:05:08.875 line:85% position:35% size:45%
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
00:05:08.941 --> 00:05:11.344 line:85% position:28% size:35%
SHE HAS CRABS!
00:05:11.411 --> 00:05:14.347 line:79% position:38% size:53%
[ UTENSILS CLINKING ]
WINE?
00:05:14.414 --> 00:05:15.882 line:85% position:33% size:40%
I DON'T DRINK...
00:05:15.948 --> 00:05:17.583 line:85% position:18% size:13%
WINE.
00:05:17.650 --> 00:05:18.251 line:85% position:18% size:8%
OH.
00:05:18.317 --> 00:05:20.019 line:85% position:43% size:63%
UH, PERHAPS A BEER, THEN?
00:05:20.086 --> 00:05:21.487 line:85% position:33% size:40%
I DON'T DRINK...
00:05:21.554 --> 00:05:22.088 line:85% position:18% size:13%
BEER.
00:05:22.155 --> 00:05:23.122 line:85% position:43% size:60%
[ Chuckling ] ALL RIGHT.
00:05:23.189 --> 00:05:24.390 line:85% position:45% size:70%
WELL, HOW ABOUT A STIFF ONE?
00:05:24.457 --> 00:05:25.825 line:85% position:50% size:80%
I MAKE A MEAN HARVEY WALLBANGER.
00:05:25.892 --> 00:05:27.827 line:85% position:33% size:40%
I DON'T DRINK...
00:05:27.894 --> 00:05:29.062 line:85% position:43% size:63%
W-WHATEVER YOU JUST SAID.
00:05:29.128 --> 00:05:29.996 line:85% position:30% size:35%
OH, ALL RIGHT.
00:05:30.063 --> 00:05:31.431 line:85% position:48% size:75%
I'LL GET YOU A GLASS OF WATER.
00:05:31.497 --> 00:05:33.232 line:85% position:33% size:40%
I DON'T DRINK...
00:05:33.299 --> 00:05:34.767 line:85% position:18% size:15%
WATER.
00:05:34.834 --> 00:05:37.203 line:79% position:43% size:65%
BOY, YOU'RE RACKIN' UP THE
WEIRDO POINTS.
00:05:37.270 --> 00:05:38.404 line:85% position:38% size:53%
YOU KNOW THAT, BUDDY?
00:05:38.471 --> 00:05:39.906 line:85% position:33% size:38%
I DON'T LIKE...
00:05:39.972 --> 00:05:40.506 line:85% position:15% size:10%
YOU.
00:05:40.573 --> 00:05:42.308 line:85% position:43% size:58%
WELL, I DON'T LIKE YOU!
00:05:42.375 --> 00:05:44.310 line:85% position:50% size:68%
ARIEL, LISTEN TO YOUR PAPA!
00:05:44.377 --> 00:05:47.480 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO STRAY SO
FAR FROM HOME!
00:05:47.547 --> 00:05:51.184 line:79% position:50% size:78%
BUT, SEBASTIAN, THIS IS
NEW YORK CITY, AND WE'RE IN THE
00:05:51.250 --> 00:05:53.186 line:85% position:40% size:60%
WORLD-FAMOUS EAST RIVER!
00:05:53.252 --> 00:05:55.822 line:79% position:48% size:73%
THOSE ARE JUST HUMAN NONSENSE
WORDS!
00:05:55.888 --> 00:05:57.490 line:85% position:43% size:63%
THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING!
00:05:57.557 --> 00:05:59.325 line:85% position:45% size:70%
BUT LOOK AT THEIR TREASURES!
00:05:59.392 --> 00:06:03.663 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
♪ CHECK OUT THESE THINGS
♪ AREN'T THEY COOL?
00:06:03.730 --> 00:06:07.867 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
♪ HOW WOULD YOU SIT UPON THIS
TYPE OF STOOL? ♪
00:06:07.934 --> 00:06:11.571 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
♪ WHAT IF THE WONDERS ABOVE ARE
CLOSER THAN THEY...
00:06:11.637 --> 00:06:17.110 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
APPEAR TO BE? ♪
♪ I WANNA BE A NEW YORKER
00:06:17.176 --> 00:06:20.513 line:79% position:15% size:70% align:start
♪ I WANNA SEE, WANNA SEE 'EM
DANCIN' ♪
00:06:20.580 --> 00:06:24.217 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
♪ GOING TO CLUBS UNTIL DAWN, AND
THEN THROWING UP INTERESTING
00:06:24.283 --> 00:06:27.920 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
THINGS LIKE THIS ♪
I THINK IT'S CALLED "ADDERALL."
00:06:27.987 --> 00:06:31.257 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
♪ RIDIN' THE SUBWAY, IT TAKES
YOU FAR ♪
00:06:31.324 --> 00:06:35.061 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start
♪ CENTRAL PARK, BLOOMINGDALE'S,
STATEN ISLAND ♪
00:06:35.128 --> 00:06:37.964 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
OR THE PLACE WHERE THIS SHIRT
CAME FROM THAT SAYS...
00:06:38.030 --> 00:06:42.602 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
♪ "SLUTVILLE"
♪ UP WHERE THEY WALK, UP WHERE
00:06:42.668 --> 00:06:45.471 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
IT SHINES ♪
♪ UP WHERE I'M SURE THEIR TEAM
00:06:45.538 --> 00:06:49.375 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start
WINS ALL THE TIME ♪
♪ UP THERE IT'S STABLE, EATING A
00:06:49.442 --> 00:06:51.544 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
BAGEL ♪
♪ UP IN NEW YOOOOOOOOOOOO--
00:06:51.611 --> 00:06:54.380 line:79% position:10% size:40% align:start
[ SEAGULLS CRY ]
UGH! UGH!
00:06:54.447 --> 00:06:57.383 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
ONE OF THOSE FLYING RATS JUST
SHIT IN MY MOUTH!
00:06:57.450 --> 00:06:59.085 line:85% position:33% size:40%
I AM ROBIN HOOD.
00:06:59.152 --> 00:07:02.955 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
I STEAL FROM THE RICH, AND I
GIVE TO THE POOR!
00:07:03.022 --> 00:07:06.259 line:79% position:45% size:68%
THIS NECKLACE IS COVERED IN
JEWELS!
00:07:06.325 --> 00:07:07.226 line:85% position:23% size:23%
I'M RICH!
00:07:07.293 --> 00:07:08.427 line:85% position:25% size:23%
OH, GEEZ.
00:07:08.494 --> 00:07:09.796 line:85% position:25% size:30%
THAT'S TRUE.
00:07:09.862 --> 00:07:10.429 line:85% position:18% size:10%
AAH!
00:07:10.496 --> 00:07:11.964 line:85% position:45% size:68%
[ Crying ] ME BEGGIN' HAND!
00:07:12.031 --> 00:07:12.665 line:85% position:20% size:15%
HA HA!
00:07:12.732 --> 00:07:13.866 line:85% position:23% size:23%
NO, WAIT.
00:07:13.933 --> 00:07:16.736 line:79% position:48% size:75%
IF I STEAL FROM THE RICH, THEY
BECOME POOR, AND IF I GIVE TO
00:07:16.803 --> 00:07:18.805 line:85% position:43% size:65%
THE POOR THEY BECOME RICH!
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PARADOX! PARADOX! PARADOX!
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[ VIDEO-GAME MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ BEEP ]
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[ BURP ]
[ WARBLE, BEEP-BEEP ]
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TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!
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IN A TOWN CALLED LOS ANGELES,
PEOPLE FELT GROOVY, FOR THE
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LORAX HAD OPENED ONE HELL OF A
MOVIE.
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THE STUDIO'S HAPPY, THE PARTIES
WERE TASTEFUL, BUT POOR
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MR. LORAX FOUND IT ALL WASTEFUL.
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THIS SUCKS.
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HE COMPLAINED, AS THEY
TOASTED CRISTAL.
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THEY HAVEN'T BEEN LISTENING
TO ME AT ALL.
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THEN OUT POPPED THE MOOLAH, A
MARVELOUS CHAP, WHILE THE LORAX
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DRONED ON WITH HIS USUAL CRAP.
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MY NAME IS THE LORAX.
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I SPEAK FOR THE TREES.
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BUT THE MUBBULOUS MOOLAH JUST
DID ONE OF THESE.
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AND, ROLLING HIS EYES,
INTERRUPTED...
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OH, PLEASE.
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OUR PLANET IS FUCKED AND YOU'RE
EARNEST AS HELL, BUT THAT
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HIPPITY-DIPPITY CRAP DOESN'T
SELL.
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WE CAN ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE,
NO MATTER HOW TINY!
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HE SAID, AND THE MOOLAH SHOT
BACK...
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GOD, YOU'RE WHINY.
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NOBODY LIKES A SHRILL LIBERAL
SHOUTER.
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SO I FIXED UP YOUR FILM WITH MY
NEW MESSAGE-OUTER.
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IT SNIPPED OUT YOUR MESSAGE.
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DUDE, MORALS ARE LAME.
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THE REAL MONEY'S MADE IN THE
MERCHANDISE GAME.
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AND THEN, WITH A BIG, MIGHTY
ROAR FROM HIS TRUNK, APPEARED
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HORTON THE ELEPHANT WASHING HIS
JUNK.
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OH, LORAX.
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...SAID HORTON.
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I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
00:08:54.901 --> 00:08:57.737 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start
I ONCE HAD A WHOLE
GOODY-GOODY-TYPE SPIEL.
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A PERSON'S A PERSON NO MATTER
HOW SMALL!
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LET ME TELL YOU --
THAT SHIT DIDN'T CATCH ON AT
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ALL.
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SO I GOT A NEW LOOK, A NEW NAME,
SOMETHING BLUNTER.
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I'VE RE-BRANDED MYSELF NOW AS
HORTON: WHO HUNTER.
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FROM THE SHADOWS, THE CAT IN
THE HAT OVERHEARD AND
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APPROACHING THE LORAX SAID...
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WHAT UP, NERD?!
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YOU TAUGHT THE KIDS TO
RESPONSIBLY PLAY.
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BUT THE CAT IN THE HAT
SAID...
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THAT CRAP DIDN'T PAY!
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FORGET CLEANING HOUSE.
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I'M STRAIGHT CLEANING UP, GUY!
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NOW I'M OFF TO GO HANG WITH
JAMIROQUAI.
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I'M LIVING THE DREAM, AND IF
PARENTS ARE PISSED, THEY CAN PUT
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IN A CALL TO MY NEW
PUBLICISTS -- THING 1 AND THING
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2, THEY'RE BOTH ON MY PAYROLL.
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THE LORAX WAS STUNNED.
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HOLY CRAP!
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WHAT AN A-HOLE!
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NO MORE!
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...SAID THE LORAX.
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NO MORE OF THESE SPEECHES!
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HOW 'BOUT JUST ONE MORE?
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YOU REMEMBER THE SNEETCHES?
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WE ONCE HAD A MESSAGE, AND A
GOOD ONE, TOO, BRO.
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BUT DID WE GET A MOVIE?
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WELL, DID WE?
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All: HELL, NO!
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WE TRIED TO TEACH TOLERANCE,
AND WHERE DID THAT GET US?
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SO FUCK IT!
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WE'D RATHER MAKE MOUNTAINS OF
LETTUCE!
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THERE'S MY HOUSE.
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IT'S 12 STORIES WITH 40
JACUZZIS, 6 CARS, 19 BUTLERS,
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UNLIMITED FLOOZIES.
00:10:06.906 --> 00:10:08.507 line:85% position:45% size:65%
IT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT, MAN.
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IT'S CAPITALISM.
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AND THE LORAX RESPONDED WITH
GEYSERS OF JISM.
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THANKS TO THE MOOLAH, THAT
MARKETING WHORE, HE COULD
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FINALLY SEE WHAT HE HADN'T
BEFORE.
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I'LL GET ME AN AGENT, AN
ACCOUNTANT NAMED HERSCHEL, A TOY
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LINE, A LUNCHBOX, AN IHOP
COMMERCIAL.
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THEN THE LORAX GOT RICH AND
WAS TOTALLY STOKED -- TILL THE
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DAY HE CONTRACTED AIDS AND THEN
CROAKED.
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WHAT?!
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♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
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♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
00:10:35.501 --> 00:10:37.570 line:15% position:35% size:48%
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
00:10:37.636 --> 00:10:39.739 line:15% position:10% size:78% align:start
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
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♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
00:10:41.941 --> 00:10:44.076 line:15% position:10% size:78% align:start
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
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BA-GAWK! BAWK.
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GEEZ, I SHOULDA PACKED A
LUNCH!