1 00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:04,671 [ Whirring ] 2 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,073 [ Theme music plays ] 3 00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:09,275 ♪♪ 4 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,643 [ Whirring ] 5 00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:18,118 ♪♪ 6 00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:20,086 Man: It's alive! 7 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:29,162 ♪♪ 8 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:38,271 ♪♪ 9 00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:39,906 Say, Merlin? 10 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,174 Yes, my boy? 11 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,576 Remember when you turned me into a boy squirrel 12 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:45,645 and there was that annoying girl squirrel 13 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,213 who was bothering me so much? 14 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,615 I believe so, yes. 15 00:00:48,681 --> 00:00:51,351 Remember she was kind of cute and she really bugged me, 16 00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:52,519 and I didn't like it. 17 00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:53,820 Hmm, what of her? 18 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,389 Do you want me to turn you back into a squirrel 19 00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:57,991 so you can have sex with the squirrel? 20 00:00:58,057 --> 00:00:59,159 Is that it, boy? 21 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,160 What?! 22 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:03,196 No, that's -- that's so crazy. 23 00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:06,433 You're the one who's getting all squirrelly now. 24 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:07,901 You old squirrel brain. 25 00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:10,904 You've -- you've been sniffing too many potions. 26 00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:16,443 Well, I just thought of something crazy. 27 00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:20,213 Wouldn't it be so crazy to change her into a human girl 28 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,482 just to see how annoying she would look, probably? 29 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,819 My boy, I could very easily change her into a girl, but-- 30 00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:27,654 Good idea. That was your idea. 31 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:28,888 That's a good idea. 32 00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,658 However, just as you retained your human brain 33 00:01:31,724 --> 00:01:33,526 when you became a squirrel, 34 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,329 she would retain her squirrel brain. 35 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:37,729 Oh. 36 00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:39,933 Oh, okay then. 37 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,402 Do it. 38 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,840 Hi, guys! It's me, Joker! 39 00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:49,676 A lot of people have been asking for a makeup tutorial, 40 00:01:49,741 --> 00:01:51,444 so I'm gonna give it to ya! 41 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:54,013 I prefer the L'Oreal ruby charcoal lip liner 42 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,648 because the Kylie Lip Kit 43 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:58,618 smears when Batman punches me in the face. 44 00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,953 Ha ha ha! 45 00:02:00,019 --> 00:02:02,956 I'm not a heroin addict, but I want people to wonder 46 00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:04,424 whether I'm a heroin addict. 47 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:05,892 You understand. 48 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,461 And don't forget to write your own personal mantra 49 00:02:08,527 --> 00:02:10,163 across your forehead! 50 00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:12,131 Son of a-- 51 00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:15,034 Is this really necessary? 52 00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:16,669 50% off Monistat? 53 00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:18,204 Well, you do know your you audience. 54 00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:20,106 Nobody uses those coupons! 55 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,308 Is this at least recycled? 56 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,177 Um... 57 00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:25,745 Yeah. 58 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,146 [ Sobbing ] 59 00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:30,683 Remember, kids, every time a CVS receipt starts printing, 60 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,918 a tree ugly-cries. 61 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:38,558 I don't think we're doing this right. 62 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:41,761 My husband asked me why I don't go down on him anymore. 63 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:46,199 I told him, because snakes smell with their tongues. 64 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:49,435 Right, ladies? Wash your cloacas, guys! 65 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,971 Wash them! 66 00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:54,107 Oh, anyway... 67 00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:57,744 What else is going on. 68 00:02:57,810 --> 00:03:00,547 What it says about America is profound. 69 00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:01,881 Well, they're certainly sexual 70 00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:03,850 if one chooses to view them that way. 71 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,753 It's a masterpiece. 72 00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:09,556 In this piece, you seem to be exposing 73 00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:13,059 the Louisiana Purchase as unjust. 74 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,160 Am I right? 75 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,296 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 76 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,665 So true, so true. 77 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,201 Meep, meep! 78 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,243 [ Applause ] 79 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,045 He's dead. 80 00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:34,847 Is it too late to bid on that piece? 81 00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:37,383 Is your person a dumb whore who's having an affair 82 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:38,851 with her best friend's husband, 83 00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:42,322 secretly gave him chlamydia, and gets guilty yeast infections? 84 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,423 Oh, dear! 85 00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:46,926 This game is getting awfully specific. 86 00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:48,661 I'm not doing a threesome with you, Screech. 87 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,831 If you want to disappoint two people, call your parents. 88 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,934 Zack Morris, you might think you're the only person 89 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:58,004 with super powers, but you are part of a larger-- 90 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,505 Time-out. 91 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,141 Who is this guy, and what the heck is he doing in my bedroom? 92 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,242 I guess I'll find out. 93 00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:04,811 Time-in. universe. 94 00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:06,312 Anything's better than school, 95 00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,047 as long as I get a cool code name. 96 00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:09,382 Like what? 97 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,784 My name's Zack Morris, and I stop time every day. 98 00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:16,356 So my code name will be Morris Day and the Time. 99 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,392 Whoa. Even the laugh track wasn't crazy about that one. 100 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:22,595 [ Laughter ] 101 00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:25,598 Hey, Morris Day and the Time, a little help. 102 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:26,566 Time-out. 103 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,134 Man, this is bad. 104 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,569 I should have learned an actual skill 105 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,204 to supplement my time-out power. 106 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,905 All I know how to do is break the fourth wall 107 00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:34,774 to monologue about stuff. 108 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,009 [ Laughter ] 109 00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:38,344 At least, I can move Hawkeye out of harm's way. 110 00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,346 Perfect. Time-in. 111 00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:43,049 Don't just stand there, do somethi-- 112 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,717 Time-out. 113 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,753 Oh, boy. 114 00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:48,154 Time-in. There you are. 115 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,188 You weren't in class. 116 00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:51,858 What can I say, the hero returns. 117 00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:54,027 [ Aww ] 118 00:04:54,093 --> 00:05:03,803 ♪♪ 119 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,838 Ooh, and there's the Pound Town Library. 120 00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:08,107 And up ahead, that's Pound Town Post Office. 121 00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:09,609 And as we crest this hill here, you're gonna see 122 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:10,810 the University of Pound Town. 123 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,413 Well, this is not what I thought you meant. 124 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,715 The Cabbage Patch Kids Feed Me doll 125 00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,316 ripped out my daughter's hair. 126 00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:20,586 My little Suzie broke her finger in that doll's mouth. 127 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:21,921 What's your complaint, sir? 128 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,289 Oh, I don't have a complaint, 129 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:25,457 I just came to see if I could get... 130 00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,460 more of these dolls. 131 00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:30,129 [ Squelching, crowd gasping ] 132 00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:35,802 You must choose the cup that is the Holy Grail. 133 00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:37,904 Hmm. Uh-uh. 134 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:39,272 Ah, this! 135 00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,774 This is the cup of a carpenter. 136 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,843 You have... 137 00:05:43,909 --> 00:05:45,678 chosen. 138 00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:48,981 [ Humming ] 139 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:50,950 [ Chittering ] Hey, uh, Merlin? 140 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,286 I feel kind of guilty about this whole thing. 141 00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:55,121 I hope you've learned your lesson 142 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,657 about turning animals into women, my boy. 143 00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:58,791 Oh, I'm sorry. 144 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,127 I didn't realize you had company. 145 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,128 Squawk! Learned your lesson! 146 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,763 Learned your lesson. 147 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,365 My squirrel is pregnant, BT-Dubs. 148 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:10,103 Gah. Gerr! 149 00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:12,905 Master Wayne, how was crime-fighting this evening? 150 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,407 Did you get the Joker? 151 00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:17,009 Oh, I got him! 152 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,779 I'll get the soda water. 153 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:24,250 Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, director. 154 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,185 [ Laughs evilly ] 155 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:30,089 Oh, Vader, the humor is strong in you. 156 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:32,592 Chosen one. 157 00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:34,927 [ Ventilator wheezing ] 158 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:36,662 Give me the plans. 159 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:41,601 Do not force me to destroy you. 160 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,402 Have a nice trip. 161 00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,971 See you next fall. 162 00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:47,340 Don't get ahead of yourself. 163 00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:48,474 Is this a party? 164 00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,343 Then let's raise the roof! 165 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:51,511 Oh! 166 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,113 What is a squirrel's favorite food. 167 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:54,881 What?! 168 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:56,415 Nuts! Ow, my nuts! 169 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,217 One, two, button my shoe. 170 00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:02,088 Three, four... 171 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,322 hold the door. 172 00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:05,024 Blockade run, eh? 173 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,659 I barely know her. 174 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:09,395 Lord Vader, did we get the plans? 175 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,864 Oh, right -- the plans. 176 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,803 Maybe I shouldn't have dicked around so much. 177 00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:18,404 Welcome to Fight Club. 178 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,607 The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about 179 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:22,842 Fight Club. 180 00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,544 Second rule of Fight Club is 181 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:28,281 you do not talk about Fight Club. 182 00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:30,983 Ugh. Yes? 183 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,185 Sorry to interrupt. 184 00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:33,419 I don't know if you realize it, but you said 185 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:34,821 the same rule twice. 186 00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,856 Ugh, yes, I did that on purpose 187 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,491 to make sure the rule is driven home. 188 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:39,826 Oh, okay, thanks. 189 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:41,060 I just wanted to make sure we didn't accidentally 190 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,361 miss out on a rule. 191 00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:43,629 Nope, you didn't. 192 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,431 Okay. 193 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:48,734 When we're gathered for our, uh, let's say a tea party... 194 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:51,470 Ugh, okay, when you're in Fight Club, 195 00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:53,272 you can talk about Fight Club. 196 00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:54,507 Okay, thanks. 197 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:55,508 No, that -- that was -- that was my question. 198 00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,443 [ Telephone ringing ] 199 00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,045 Fight Club? No! 200 00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:01,214 But you said! You are in Fight Club, 201 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:05,751 but whoever's on the phone is not in Fight Club. 202 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:06,819 Um, uh... 203 00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:08,120 Dah! 204 00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:11,324 So rule 8, paragraph 9, section one, 205 00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:12,625 if you're in Fight Club, 206 00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,994 opening the door to let someone in to Fight Club, 207 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,063 you do not talk about Fight Club 208 00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,298 until the door is closed. We good? 209 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:22,869 Has everybody got this? 210 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,203 [ Shutter clicks ] No! 211 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,404 But I didn't even do anything! 212 00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:26,405 You know what, fuck it. 213 00:08:26,472 --> 00:08:28,908 I don't exist anyway. 214 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:32,778 Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. 215 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,982 No, that's not how it works anymore! 216 00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:41,587 In the dark, dark wood, there is a dark, dark house. 217 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,357 And in that dark, dark house, 218 00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:47,326 there is a dark, dark room. 219 00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:50,463 And in that dark, dark room, 220 00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:54,033 your parents are doing it. 221 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,069 [ Moaning, narrator laughing maniacally ] 222 00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:04,977 And that's how the Titanic changed my life forever. 223 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,113 Wow, Rose, that's a beautiful story 224 00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:10,149 about how Jack died and the giant diamond was lost. 225 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,051 It's hard to believe such a fairy tale 226 00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,252 of love even happened. 227 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:14,687 Yes, um... 228 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:17,323 hard to believe. 229 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,458 [ Horn blowing ] 230 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:23,930 [ Giggling ] Nobody will look for us in here. 231 00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:25,765 Man: Iceberg -- dead ahead! 232 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,466 Huh? Oh! 233 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:28,467 Uh-oh! 234 00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:29,802 Was that the Heart of the Ocean? 235 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:32,805 Holy shit. Jack, it's worth a fortune! 236 00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:35,141 Oh! Wait, wait, wait. I think I feel it. 237 00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:36,742 Uh-oh, Rose! 238 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:38,911 My hand is stuck in the toilet! 239 00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:40,313 Uh, Jack? Oh, God. 240 00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,682 Oh, God, no, no -- no, no, no, no, no! 241 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,050 Oh, God. No. Help us! 242 00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:45,985 I'm drowning in poop water. 243 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:49,422 Rose, my hand is trapped in the toilet. 244 00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:51,958 But you can survive. 245 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,894 Our love will go on even if only one of us... 246 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,295 Okay, bye. 247 00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:57,363 Oh! 248 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,432 Wow. Whoo. 249 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,334 Oh, maybe everything's okay. 250 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,243 This one's for you, Jack. 251 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,112 [ Flatulence, spraying ] 252 00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:15,314 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 253 00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,383 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 254 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,618 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 255 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,721 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 256 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,856 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 257 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:26,225 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 258 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,561 Ba-gawk! Bawk. 259 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:33,866 [ Penny whistle tune ] 260 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:39,071 ♪♪ 261 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:44,276 ♪♪ 262 00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,479 Stupid monkey. 263 00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:53,285 ♪♪