[ OWL HOOTS ] [ CRICKETS CHIRPING ]
- PODCAST -- THURSDAY, MAY 25th, 10:34 P.M.
THE BUS TO BELLWOOD TOOK LONGER THAN I THOUGHT.
IF MY SOURCES ARE RIGHT, I'M CUTTING IT CLOSE.
[ STATIC CRACKLING ] SATELLITE DATA, WEB CHATTER,
AND MY REPORTER'S GUT ALL SAY
THIS ISN'T JUST ANOTHER METEOR STRIKE.
[ RUMBLING ]
THERE IT IS!
THE OBJECT SEEMS TO HAVE GONE STRAIGHT INTO THE CAVE.
COINCIDENCE? DOUBTFUL.
[ CRACKING ]
DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A REGULAR METEOR MADE THAT
THAT'S FOR SURE.
THERE'S SOMETHING IN HERE.
IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE AN ALIEN SHIP OR PROBE, EITHER.
IT'S -- IT'S...
A DUMB SPACE PLANT!
NEWS? YES. SCOOP? NO.
COME ON!
THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS BLOOM OR SOMETHING.
- [ GROWLS ]
- [ STRAINING ]
AAH!
[ STRAINING ] AAH!
- Kevin: [ GRUNTS ] AAH!
[ STRAINING ]
- Gwen: BACK OFF!
AAH!
- Rath: YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, SEVENSEVEN
INTERGALACTIC BOUNTY HUNTER FOR HIRE --
OOH! KARATE.
I'M GONNA CALL YOU KARATE MAN.
CAN I CALL YOU KARATE MAN, KARATE MAN?
TELL YOU WHAT, KARATE MAN.
I'LL HOLD REAL STILL, LIKE A STACK OF BOARDS, AND YOU CAN
MEDITATE UNTIL YOU'RE READY TO CHOP ME IN HALF, OKAY?
I LIED.
YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND A PILE OF BOARDS?
BOARDS DON'T HIT BACK!
[ ELECTRICITY ZAPPING ]
NOW...I'M MAD.
[ KNUCKLES CRACK ]
[ INSECTS CHIRPING ]
- Gwen: WELL, I GUESS THAT ABOUT WRAPS THINGS UP.
OH, COME ON!
THERE'S A LAMPPOST WRAPPED AROUND HIM.
- Ben: YEAH, I KNOW. GOOD TRY.
- GUYS...WAIT UP!
[ GASPING ]
- Ben: HEY, JIMMY, IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
YOU WANT TO COVER THIS ON YOUR WEBSITE?
- GUYS, I'VE GOT REAL NEWS.
I INTERCEPTED THE VANGUARD OF AN ALIEN INVASION AND STOPPED IT
BEFORE IT COULD START.
- Gwen: REALLY?
- YEP.
I THINK I MUST HAVE DEFEATED THE ALIEN PLANT MONSTER IN ITS CAVE,
THEN STAGGERED OUTSIDE, BUT I KIND OF BLACKED OUT
DURING THE BATTLE.
- Kevin: VIDEO...OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
- I HAD VIDEO, BUT I THINK THE PLANT MUST HAVE TAKEN IT WHEN IT
RETREATED BACK INTO THE CAVE.
I FIGURED YOU'D WANT TO, UH, CHECK MY WORK.
- Kevin: YEAH, I'M OUT.
- Gwen: I HAVE TONS OF STUDYING TO DO, JIMMY.
MAYBE NEXT CONSPIRACY.
- Ben: OKAY, OKAY, I'LL CHECK IT OUT.
MY CAR'S STILL IN THE SHOP.
THINK YOU CAN GIVE US A RIDE?
[ ENGINE REVS, TIRES SQUEAL ]
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T HAVE A BUS PASS.
THAT SHOULD BE PLUMBER STANDARD ISSUE.
- Ben: YEAH, I'LL MAKE A NOTE.
STAY HERE.
I'LL CHECK THIS OUT MYSELF.
- WELL, I-IF THAT'S STANDARD PROCEDURE.
UH, BEN?
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
BEN?
- Ben: COME ON IN, JIMMY.
LOOKS LIKE YOU HELD THE LINE AGAINST THE ALIEN INVASION.
- YEAH, BUT -- BUT -- BUT IT WAS HERE, LIKE A POD OR A BULB
FROM SPACE.
SOMETIMES WHEN I EAT LATE AT NIGHT, I HAVE NIGHTMARES
SO REAL, I WAKE UP HITTING THE ULTIMATRIX.
- IT REALLY HAPPENED!
- Ben: ONE TIME, I THOUGHT I SAW VILGAX HIDING IN MY CLOSET.
IT WAS ONE OF GRANDPA MAX'S EXTRA SHIRTS.
- I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE I WANTED ANOTHER BIG STORY SO BAD, I DREAMED ONE UP.
- Ben: NO, THANKS.
I'M ALLERGIC.
LET'S GET YOU HOME.
[ BEEPING ]
[ RINGING ]
- THANK YOU, "ALWAYS LOOKING FOR WEIRD STUFF" ALGORITHM.
WHAT HAVE WE FOUND?
THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT.
IT'S LIKE EVERYONE IN TOWN FLUSHED THE TOILET AT THE SAME
TIME FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT.
AND WHO USES WATER, JIMMY?
PLANTS, THAT'S WHO.
I'M NOT IMAGINING THIS.
[ GASPS ]
- Ben: YOUR WILL IS MY COMMAND.
- [ GASPS ] BEN'S IN ON IT.
GOT TO GET PROOF.
OOPS. [ CHUCKLES ]
- [ SQUEAKS ]
- I'M JUST TELLING YOU WHAT I SAW.
- Kevin: BEN TENNYSON, THE GUY WHO REMINDS US DAILY THAT HE
SAVED THE EARTH ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS AND THE GALAXY
AT LEAST ONCE?
- IF THE WATER TABLE GRAPHS AREN'T ENOUGH TO CONVINCE YOU,
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS?
- Gwen: IN LOW-LIGHT SITUATIONS, YOU SHOULD TRY AND
HOLD THE CAMERA EXTRA STEADY.
- I DUCKED SO HE WOULDN'T SEE ME.
- Gwen: WHO?
- BEN!
HE WAS THERE TALKING TO THE ALIEN.
- Kevin: DEFINITELY DIDN'T GET HIS GOOD SIDE -- OR ANY SIDE.
- Gwen: NOW YOU'RE SAYING BEN IS PART OF A CONSPIRACY?
THIS IS A SHADOWY BLOB.
NO CREDIBLE PERSON WOULD EVER TAKE THIS AS REAL PROOF.
- Harangue: WELCOME BACK TO THE "WILL HARANGUE NATION."
OUR GUEST TODAY, JIMMY JONES, THE 10-YEAR-OLD JIMMY
THE BOY WHO EXPOSED BEN TENNYSON FOR THE MENACE THAT HE IS.
- UM, THAT -- THAT'S NOT EXACTLY --
- Harangue: DON'T TALK OVER ME, JIMMY.
NOW, JIMMY HAS A NEW, EQUALLY STARTLING CLAIM.
BEN TENNYSON IS LEADING AN ALIEN INVASION TO TAKE OVER
THE ENTIRE EARTH.
- I-I-I DIDN'T SAY HE WAS LEADING IT.
I SAID HE MAY BE INVOLVED.
HE NEEDS OUR HELP.
- Harangue: THAT TENNYSON IS INVOLVED IN SOMETHING NEFARIOUS
ISN'T IN QUESTION.
BUT, JIMMY, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THOSE CRITICS WHO SAY YOU
FABRICATED THIS ENTIRE STORY?
THAT THIS IS AN OBVIOUS ATTEMPT TO RECAPTURE YOUR GLORY DAYS OF
EXPOSING BEN TENNYSON?
A STORY THAT YOU STUMBLED INTO BY SHEER LUCK?
- WHAT? NO, NO.
I'M TELLING THE TRUTH.
- Harangue: WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY THE TRUTH THAT IF
SOMEONE WHO CLAIMS TO BE BEN MENACE-SON'S FRIEND WOULD
BETRAY HIM LIKE THIS...
- Kevin: [ LAUGHS ] I LOVE THIS SHOW.
- Gwen: SOMETHING REALLY HAS JIMMY SPOOKED.
MAYBE WE SHOULD CHECK IT OUT.
- Kevin: YEAH, BUT HE'S GONNA LIE ABOUT BEN SOME MORE, AND I
WANT TO SEE -- I CAN DVR.
- STUPID SHOW.
[ MUZAK PLAYS ]
- Ben: I WISH YOU'D JUST COME TO ME, JIMMY.
- [ GULPS ] BEN.
- Ben: I COULD HAVE CLEARED THIS WHOLE THING UP.
WHY DON'T WE GO GET SMOOTHIES?
I'M BUYING.
- UH, THANKS, BUT MY MOM SAYS I'M SUPPOSED TO CLEAN MY ROOM.
IT'S A MESS.
[ CHUCKLES ] BYE.
[ THUMPING ] - Humongousaur: HUMONGOUSAUR!
- Humongousaur: DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME, JIMMY.
- [ PANTING ]
- Humongousaur: YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME, JIMMY!
I ONLY WANT TO TAKE YOU OUT FOR A SMOOTHIE, NOT CRUSH YOU INTO A
FINE POWDER.
WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?!
YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS IS BENFAN1.
DON'T YOU LIKE ME ANYMORE?
- [ PANTING ]
LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE THIS.
- Humongousaur: [ GROWLS ]
- [ PANTING ]
- Humongousaur: STAY AWAY FROM THAT DOOR!
AAH!
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
- Humongousaur: I WANT TO GIVE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE.
A REAL REPORTER WOULD RISK EVERYTHING TO GET TO THE TRUTH.
- A REAL REPORTER FOLLOWS HIS HUNCHES, AND I HAVE A HUNCH I
WOULDN'T LIVE TO POST MY STORY.
- Humongousaur: HMM.
COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE.
SERIOUSLY, THIS IS ALL A BIG MISTAKE.
SORRY I SCARED YOU.
LET'S GET A PIZZA AND TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS.
I NEED A HUG.
- Humongousaur: [ GROWLS ]
[ SODA BUBBLING ]
- AAH!
- Humongousaur: [ GROWLS ]
[ Beep ]
- CALL GWEN TENNYSON.
[ Dialing, ringing ]
- Humongousaur: HELLO AGAIN.
- AAH!
[ HORN BLARES ]
- Gwen: Hello?
- GWEN, I'M IN TOTAL TROUBLE.
Ben is after me!
I know it sounds crazy, but -- - Gwen: NO, IT'S OKAY.
WE CHECKED OUT THE CAVE, JIMMY.
WE KNOW. WHERE ARE YOU?
- North side of Sav Cost.
You can't miss me.
I'm the kid on a red bike with an alien chasing him!
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME!
- Gwen: EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.
GET IN THE CAR.
- WHAT?
WHAT DID YOU FIND IN THE CAVE?
- Kevin: LATER. JUST GET IN.
- Y-YEAH. I-I DON'T THINK SO.
- Gwen: GET IN, JIMMY.
- Ben: WHY DON'T WE ALL GET IN?
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
- Kevin: SHOULD WE GET RID OF HIM?
'CAUSE I COULD TOTALLY TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU.
- Ben: NOT YET.
- [ GRUNTING ] LET ME GO!
- Kevin: I'VE SAID IT BEFORE, AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN -- I WOULD
BE HAPPY TO SILENCE THIS CREATURE ONCE AND FOR ALL.
- Ben: THE MASTER WANTS TO KNOW
WHY IT COULDN'T ABSORB HIM EARLIER.
- Gwen: IF THERE ARE OTHERS WITH HIS NATURAL RESISTANCE
WE NEED TO KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
- Kevin: SO I CAN TAKE HIM OUT AFTER, RIGHT?
- Ben: YES, MASTER, WE OBEY.
PUT HIM WITH THE OTHERS.
- NO! LET ME GO!
YOU'RE NOT BEN AT ALL -- OR GWEN AND KEVIN.
[ STRAINING ]
- Ben: NO, WE'RE PERFECT COPIES, RIGHT DOWN TO OUR DNA.
- Kevin: BUT BETTER THAN THE ORIGINALS, WHICH WERE LAME.
- Gwen: WE'RE IN COMPLETE HARMONY.
- Ben: SOON, THERE WILL BE NO WAR.
- Gwen: NO DISEASE, NO HUNGER.
- Kevin: NO FUN.
- Ben: THE WORLD WILL BE A GARDEN
AND EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECT.
- All: YES, MASTER.
- THE BIGGEST STORY OF MY LIFE AND NOBODY TO REPORT IT TO.
WELL, GUESS WHAT, PLANT MAN.
IT'S NOT GOING TO END THIS WAY.
YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
NO. NO! W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[ GRUNTS ] NO!!
- [ STRAINING ]
NO WAY.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS?
[ SIZZLING ]
YOU ARE, AREN'T YOU?
PLEASE WORK. PLEASE!
[ SIZZLING ]
- Ben: [ GROANS ]
- BEN! ARE YOU OKAY?
- Ben: I'M FINE NOW.
- HOW DO WE TAKE THAT THING DOWN WITHOUT YOUR ULTIMATRIX?
- Ben: I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW IT COULD TAKE IT
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- THIS THING MADE A PERFECT PLANT COPY OF YOU,
INCLUDING YOUR DNA.
[ SIZZLING ]
- Gwen: [ GROANS ]
WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS SLIMY?
GUESS I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOUR STORY MORE SERIOUSLY.
- IT'S OKAY.
LOTS OF GREAT INVESTIGATIVE REPORTERS GET THAT.
- Kevin: UGH!
I CAN'T BELIEVE A SALAD GOT THE DROP ON ME.
- Plant Ben: THE HUMANS ARE FREE.
- Plant Gwen: DESTROY THEM!
- Plant Kevin: I'M GONNA ENJOY THIS.
- Kevin: NOT NEARLY AS MUCH AS I AM.
- Gwen: THEY DON'T HAVE OUR POWERS.
- Ben: BUT MY DOUBLE HAS THE ULTIMATRIX.
- Plant Ben: YES, I DO.
- Chromastone: CHROMASTONE!
- Gwen: BEN, YOU'VE GOT TO GET THE ULTIMATRIX BACK.
- Ben: YEAH, I'LL WORK ON IT WHEN I'M NOT GETTING SHOT AT.
- GUYS, I HAVE AN IDEA.
- Ben: JIMMY, STOP ALIEN INVASION FIRST, SNACK LATER.
- Plant Ben: UGH!
- Kevin: NICE WORK, KID.
- Ben: I DON'T THINK SO.
- Swampfire: IT'S OVER HERE.
BY THE WAY, FAKE BEN...
SWAMPFIRE!
HUH. CAN'T CONTROL IT.
GUESS THAT MAKES IT A WEED!
- Plant Ben: [ SCREAMS ]
- Plant Gwen: [ SCREAMS ]
- Gwen: CAESAR LATER, ALLIGATOR.
- Kevin: WHAT?
- Gwen: LIKE CAESAR SALAD.
BECAUSE THEY'RE PLANTS.
- Kevin: WHERE'S THE ALLIGATOR COME IN?
- Gwen: IT'S PART OF THE EXPRESSION!
- UM, GUYS, MY REPORTER'S GUT IS TELLING ME
THIS ISN'T QUITE OVER.
- [ GROWLS ]
- Swampfire: THE ACTUAL ALIEN PLANT THING ITSELF.
TOTALLY FORGOT.
- [ SCREECHES, GROWLS ]
- Gwen: ONE AGAINST FOUR.
WELL, IT'S CLEARLY NOT A CHICKEN SALAD.
- Kevin: OKAY, STOP.
I CAN'T LET A BATTLE PUN BE THE LAST THING I HEAR.
- [ SCREECHES, GROWLS ]
[ GROWLS ]
- Swampfire: JIMMY, GET OUT OF HERE!
- Kevin: THAT'S IT.
I'M TOTALLY GOING WEED-WHACKER ON THIS THING.
- Gwen: KEVIN, GET BACK!
YOU'RE TOO CLOSE!
- [ GROWLS ]
- Swampfire: I CAN'T GET A SHOT, GWEN!
YOU'RE IN THE WAY!
- Gwen: [ GROANS ] - [ GROWLS ]
- Swampfire: [ STRAINS ] I CAN'T MOVE.
- [ GROWLS ]
- I'LL SAVE YOU!
- Swampfire: JIMMY, NO!
- AAH!
[ RUMBLING ]
- Swampfire: TIME TO STEP IT UP A NOTCH.
- ULTIMATE SWAMPFIRE!
CLEAR OUT! IT'S GONNA BE HOT.
[ STRAINING ]
- Ben: AND THAT IS THAT.
- [ GROANS ] I DIDN'T VIDEO ANY OF THIS.
STUPID!
WHO'S GONNA BELIEVE ME NOW?
- Ben: WE WILL.
JIMMY, YOU'RE A REAL REPORTER.
- Gwen: YEAH.
FROM NOW ON, WE'LL KNOW TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY.
- Kevin: NO MATTER HOW NUTTY YOU SOUND.
NUTTY. YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
[ LAUGHTER ] - Gwen: REALLY?
WHY IS IT FUNNY WHEN HE DOES IT?
- Ben: I THINK IT'S THE DELIVERY.