- ATTENTION, CAMPERS. - ATTENTION, CAMPERS.
- IT'S TIME FOR "CAMP LAZLO."
- ♪ THERE WERE TWO SCOUTS WHO MADE A FRIEND ♪
♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
♪ L-A-Z-L-O
- ♪ L - ♪ A - ♪ Z-L-O
- ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
- ♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
- ♪ AND THEN THAT TRIO WENT TO CAMP ♪
♪ AND TURNED IT UPSIDE DOWN-O
♪ L-A-Z-L-O
- ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
- ♪ YODEL-AY-EEE
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
- I THINK IT BOBBED.
- NO. I DON'T THINK SO.
- YES, I THINK I SAW SOMETHING.
- THAT WAS A BOB.
- NO, A WIGGLE. - THAT WAS A WAVE.
- HEY! IT MOVED! IT MOVED!
- [ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
- YOU GUYS, WE CAN'T KEEP PULLING IN THE LINE
EVERY TIME A WAVE MOVES THE BOBBER.
[TEETH RATTLING]
- IT MOVED AGAIN!
- [ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
- AW, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
ALL RIGHT, I'LL REEL IT IN!
- ANOTHER SNOW GLOBE.
- COOL. NEW MEXICO.
- HEY, GUYS, WHAT IF NEXT TIME WE TRIED BAIT?
- [ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
- SLINKMAN, HOW DID I EVER GET PUT IN CHARGE OF SUCH DERELICTS?
THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR THEMSELVES.
MAKE SURE YOU TIE THAT LURE GOOD AND TIGHT.
- YES, SIR.
- SLINKMAN, ARE YOU AWARE
THAT THE WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN SCOUTMASTER
HERE AT CAMP KIDNEY,
NOBODY, INCLUDING MYSELF, HAS EVER CAUGHT A FISH?
- PATHETIC, SIR.
- WELL, THAT'S GONNA CHANGE
BECAUSE I, ALGONQUIN C. LUPUS,
AM GOING TO PULL A FISH FROM THIS LAKE
IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO.
SO KEEP QUIET WHILE I CAST THIS BABY,
AND SEE HOW IT'S DONE.
- HELP! HELP!
I'M BEING CHASED BY CANNIBALS!
- AAH!
- THEY'RE GONNA EAT ME!
- HERE I COME! YAH, YAH! YAH!
- HO, HO! YOU GOT ME, RAJ.
I'M STEW.
- NEXT TIME, I AM CAPTAIN COOK, AND YOU ARE THE CANNIBALS.
- CANNIBALS.
- OH, GREAT.
HERE COME THE FISHING PROS FROM JELLY CABIN.
- HEY, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS,
IS THAT A SPECIAL SWIM-WITH-THE-TROUT FISHING TECHNIQUE?
- [MUTTERS] SWIM WITH THE TROUT.
YAAGH! YOU MARK MY WORDS.
A FISH WILL BE CAUGHT IN THIS LAKE BY THIS CAMP SOMEDAY.
BUT THE ONLY WAY IT WILL BE DONE
IS IF I GET AS FAR AWAY FROM YOU LOUD, CLUMSY SCOUTS
AS POSSIBLE
AND DO IT MYSELF!
- BUT MAYBE THERE AREN'T ANY FISH IN THIS LAKE TO BE CAUGHT.
- YOO HOO! SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS!
OH! I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND US
SHARING YOUR FISHING SPOT WITH YOU.
WELL, WHERE ELSE CAN YOU FIND THE FISH
ACTUALLY JUMPING INTO YOUR BOAT?
HA HA HA!
LOOK AT THIS--WHOOPS!
A PIKE! OH! HA HA HA!
- THAT DOES IT.
- SIR. SIR.
- YOU HAVE MY NEW BASS ELIMINATOR BOAT
AND MY FISHING GEAR READY FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING.
THIS FISHING DROUGHT HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH.
- BUT, SIR, THE NEW BOAT'S NEVER BEEN TESTED.
- "WHERE ELSE CAN YOU FIND FISH JUMPING IN YOUR BOAT?"
- POOR SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HELP HIM AND CATCH HIM A FISH?
- HA! THE ONLY THING BITING OFF THIS DOCK ARE SNOW GLOBES.
- ALL RIGHT. THEN WE'LL GO OUT ON THE LAKE.
FISHING IS BETTER ON A BOAT, ANYWAY.
- YEAH, RIGHT. HEH HEH HEH!
- LIKE YOU'RE GONNA GET US OUT ON THE LAKE.
HEH HEH HEH!
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH GOING OUT ON THE LAKE?
- UH... - UH...
- YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT ALL OF THE WEIRD, CREEPY STUFF
THAT GOES ON IN LEAKEY LAKE?
- NO. LIKE WHAT?
- ONLY THAT THE BODIES OF DEAD OUTLAWS ARE IN THERE,
AND THEIR FINGERNAILS ARE STILL GROWING.
- AND SOMETIMES THEY GET SO LONG,
THEY REACH UP AND GRAB YOUR BOAT.
- GRAB YOUR BOAT?
- THERE'S ALSO A DRAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE
THAT SOMETIMES COMES UNPLUGGED.
[THUNDER]
- YEAH. IT SUCKS DOWN FISHERMEN IN TWO SECONDS.
- LIKE A SPIDER IN A TOILET.
[THUNDER]
- ARE YOU SURE THIS ALL ISN'T JUST LEGEND?
- WAIT! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE SCARIEST ONE.
- D-DON'T SAY IT.
- THERE'S A SERPENT MONSTER WHO LIVES IN THE LAKE
WHO FEASTS ON THE FLESH OF ANYTHING IN A SCOUT UNIFORM.
[THUNDER]
- ANYTHING? - ANYTHING.
- [GULP]
- WAIT A MINUTE!
THIS IS SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HELPING.
I THINK WE SHOULD PUT ASIDE THESE STORIES,
GET ON A BOAT TOMORROW MORNING,
AND CATCH OURSELVES A FISH,
NOT JUST FOR SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS, BUT FOR GOOD, OLD CAMP KIDNEY.
ARE YOU WITH ME? WHO'S WITH ME?
- [BAWK]
- RAJ?
- EXCUSE ME, BUT I AM BUSY QUESTIONING YOUR SANITY.
- COME ON, GUYS.
- OK. HELP LUMPUS.
- WAIT. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE ALONE, ARE YOU?
- CATCH A FISH. HELP LUMPUS.
- CATCH A FISH. HELP LUMPUS. WHAT ABOUT GET EATEN ALIVE?
IS THAT IN YOUR VOCABULARY, HUH?
GET EATEN ALIVE?
- [MOOING]
- AHH. SMELL THAT, RAJ?
IT SMELLS LIKE...
[SNIFFS]
PINE AIR FRESHENER.
I LOVE THE MORNING, DON'T YOU, RAJ?
- THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO THIS CREEPY LAKE
IS MAKING MY UVULA DO THE CHA-CHA.
- HEY, RAJ, LOOK!
- OOH! IT'S GLEAMING.
- IS THAT FOR FISHING?
- NICE BOAT. NICE BOAT.
- WOW!
WHAT AN IMPRESSIVE WATERCRAFT.
- LAZLO, THIS LOOKS LIKE LUMPUS' BOAT.
WE SHOULD NOT BE MESSING ABOUT.
- COME ON, RAJ, IT'S COOL. WE'RE JUST GONNA LOOK.
- THIS DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A FISHING BOAT.
OOH!
IT LOOKS MORE LIKE A SPACESHIP.
- YEAH! LET'S PLAY SPACESHIP!
- GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR CLAM.
INITIATE LAUNCH SEQUENCE.
- INITIATE LAUNCH SEQUENCE.
- GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR LAZLO. PRESSURIZE CABIN. OVER.
MAJOR LAZLO PRESSURIZING CABIN. OVER.
CLOSE POD BAY DOORS.
- CLOSING POD BAY DOORS.
- ROTATE TIRES. - ROTATING TIRES.
- OH. LAZLO?
- ENGAGE WIPERS. - ENGAGING WIPERS.
- I THINK WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL.
- EJECT CD CHANGER. - EJECTING CD CHANGER.
- AAH! LAZLO, I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH--
- TURN ON HAZARD LIGHTS. - DEFOG WINDSHIELD.
- ENGAGE PASSENGER-SIDE AIRBAG.
- LAZLO! LAZLO! LAZLOOOO!
[SCREAMING]
- WHOO!
- [LAUGHING]
- HOUSTON, WE HAVE LIFTOFF!
- LET'S GO, SLINKMAN.
THE FISH ARE CALLING COLLECT.
- I'M COMING, SIR.
- TIME TO SHOW THOSE BEAN SCOUTS WHAT REAL FISHING IS ALL ABOUT.
- YES, SIR.
- SLINKMAN, DID YOU REMEMBER TO GET MY TACKLE BOX READY?
- YES, SIR.
- MY NET?
- I HAVE YOUR NET, SIR.
- AND DID YOU REMEMBER
TO GET MY X5000 BASS ELIMINATOR WATERCRAFT READY TO LAUNCH?
- ALL READY FOR LAUNCH, SIR.
- [CHEERING]
- SLINKMAN, WAS THAT MY BOAT?
- AHEM. I BELIEVE SO, SIR.
- WITH THAT JELLY CABIN TRIO OF DERELICTS DRIVING?
- AH, YES, SIR.
- THAT DOES IT!
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING, SIR?
- TO GET MY BOAT BACK!
- WHY DID IT STOP?
WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE.
- I DON'T KNOW.
THERE WAS A BEEP-BEEP, AND THEN A BOOP,
AND THEN IT JUST WENT KAPUT.
WELL, I GUESS WE SHOULD FISH SINCE WE'RE HERE.
GOT TO HELP LUMPUS.
- IT IS VERY SPOOKY DOWN THERE.
I THINK I SEE FINGERNAILS.
I'M GOING BLIND!
- IT'S JUST LAKE FOG. IT'LL LIFT.
- [TEETH CHATTERING]
THIS IS QUITE SCARY.
- [ROAR]
- WHAT WAS THAT? - WHAT?
- THAT SOUND. THERE IS A DEFINITE SOUND.
IT'S--IT'S GROWLING AND SPLASHING.
- I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.
- OH, NO, LAZLO.
- [GROWL]
- THERE IT IS AGAIN. IT'S COMING CLOSER.
IT'S THE DRAIN OF LEAKEY LAKE.
IT'S THE DEAD OUTLAWS WITH LONG FINGERNAILS.
IT'S--IT'S--IT'S A LAKE MONSTER!
[YELLING]
- WAIT! WAIT! IT'S SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS!
- SORRY, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS.
- THAT'S LUPUS, YOU THIEVES!
- UH, RAJ?
- GREAT HOLLY!
IT'S THE PLUG TO THE LEAKEY LAKE DRAIN!
I'VE PULLED THE PLUG! PUT IT BACK! PUT IT BACK!
[GRUNT]
UH-OH.
- ISN'T THIS GREAT?
- OH, GREAT. LOVELY.
- I'M SORRY WE SUNK YOUR FANCY BOAT
AND MISTOOK YOU FOR A LAKE MONSTER.
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND,
WE WERE JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU CATCH A FISH.
- HELP ME? HELP ME?
YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP ME?
- YES. - YES. - YES.
- HELP ME CATCH A FISH?
- YES. - YES. - YES.
- THE ONLY WAY YOU 3 BOZOS CAN HELP ME CATCH A FISH
IS TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM ME AS POSSIBLE
AND NOT HELP ME AT ALL!
- HEY, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS,
DO YOU THINK WE'RE FAR ENOUGH AWAY?
- NO, NO, JUST A LITTLE FARTHER.
- GOOD LUCK, SCOUTMASTER.
- YES. THANK YOU.
- LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS.
WE'RE HELPING HIM BY NOT HELPING HIM.
- WE ARE VERY GOOD AT NOT HELPING HIM.
- LET US KNOW IF THERE'S ANY MORE NOT HELPING WE CAN DO.
- OH, YOU'RE DOING JUST FINE.
I HAVE A FEELING THAT WITH YOUR HELP OF NOT HELPING,
I'M GOING TO CATCH THE BIGGEST--
[SPUTTERS]
LAKE MONSTER!
HELP! AAH!
- LAZLO? - YES?
- SCOUTMASTER LUPUS IS BEING ATTACKED BY A LAKE MONSTER.
DO YOU THINK HE NEEDS OUR HELP?
- NO, I THINK HE'S JUST TESTING US.
WE PROMISED NOT TO HELP.
- HELP ME NOW!
- NO, LAZLO, I THINK THIS TIME HE REALLY NEEDS US TO HELP HIM
BY HELPING HIM.
- REALLY?
- MOTHER OF MERCY, HELP ME, PLEASE!
I BEG OF YOU!
- NO, I THINK HE SAID UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES
DO WE HELP HIM BY HELPING HIM.
- BUT IF WE DON'T HELP HIM,
THE CIRCUMSTANCES FOR HELPING HIM COULD CHANGE
AND BE MORE FLEXIBLE IN THE DIRECTION OF ACTUALLY HELPING HIM,
AS OPPOSED TO NOT HELPING HIM.
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
- HMM. KIND OF.
- I KNOW IT IN MY HEART TO BE TRUE.
- UM...OK. I GUESS YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT.
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS, DO YOU NEED OUR HELP?
BECAUSE YOU ASKED US NOT TO HELP.
- OH, NO.
I'M JUST GETTING EATEN BY A FEROCIOUS LAKE MONSTER.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I NEED YOUR--
- OK.
- LAZLO. - YES?
- EH, I DO NEED YOUR HELP.
AND LOOK! I CAUGHT A FISH!
- WOW! HEY! LOOK, GUYS!
A FISH! WE CAUGHT A FISH!
- LAZLO. LAZLO?
LAZLO? LAZLO?
- SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS ORDERED US
TO HAVE YOU FOR LUNCH.
- AH, GEE, THANKS.
AFTER I EAT MY FISH STICKS,
CAN I GO BACK IN THE WATER?
- SURE!
- FISH STICKS!
- HA HO HO!
THANKS FOR RECOVERING
MY SNOW GLOBE COLLECTION.
EVER SINCE I LOST IT,
I'VE HAD SUCH ODD FOOD CRAVINGS,
DON'T YOU KNOW?
I'M--WELL, I'M REALLY A VEGETARIAN, YOU KNOW.
[MOO]
[TOOT] [BLATT]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER & NCI --www.ncicap.org--