- ATTENTION, CAMPERS. - ATTENTION, CAMPERS.
- IT'S TIME FOR "CAMP LAZLO."
- ♪ THERE WERE TWO SCOUTS WHO MADE A FRIEND ♪
♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
♪ L-A-Z-L-O
- ♪ L - ♪ A - ♪ Z-L-O
- ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
- ♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
- ♪ AND THEN THAT TRIO WENT TO CAMP ♪
♪ AND TURNED IT UPSIDE DOWN-O
♪ L-A-Z-L-O
- ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
- ♪ YODEL-AY-EEE
TODAY WE'RE GOING TO COVER FIRST AID TRAINING.
- [GROANING]
- I KNOW IT'S HOT, BUT BEAR WITH ME.
I'M GOING TO GO OVER THIS STEP BY STEP.
I'M A PROFESSIONAL, SO I KNOW THIS BY HEART.
SO...AHEM.
"KNOW THIS BY HEART."
FIRST, I NEED ONE OF THE SCOUT CABINS
TO SHOW ME THEIR KNOWLEDGE OF FIRST AID.
PINTO BEAN CABIN?
- OH, OH, OH, OH! JELLY BEAN! JELLY BEAN!
- KIDNEY BEANS?
- OH, OH, OH, OH! OH, OH!
JELLY! JELLY, JELLY, JELLY, JELLY, JELLY!
OH, JELLY BEAN! JELLY, JELLY! JELLY BEAN!
- ALL RIGHT. JELLY--
- JELLY BEAN CABIN REPORTING FOR DUTY, SIR.
- OK. BEAN SCOUT BERNIE HAS A STOMACH ACHE.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
- [CRYING]
SOMEONE CALL 911!
- IT'S JUST A STOMACH ACHE.
- OH. UM, YEAH.
CLAM, ELEVATE HIS LEGS.
RAJ, CHECK FOR DILATED PUPILS.
- AYE, AYE.
HIS PUPILS ARE DILATED... AND GOOGLY.
- [GASP]
I'D BETTER DO THE HEIMLICH! CLEAR!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
- ICE CREAM!
ICE CREAM MAN!
- YUMINY, YIMINY ICE CREAM MAN!
UNH!
ICE CREAM MAN! ICE CREAM MAN!
ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!
- WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD IT.
SLINKMAN, WILL YOU PLEASE?
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
- WE'RE JUST GETTING SOME ICE CREAM.
- IT'S SO HOT, SCOUTMASTER. COULDN'T YOU JUST--
- BACK, BACK, BACK.
NO ONE GETS ICE CREAM UNTIL FIRST AID IS OVER.
- OH, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS?
- UH, SLINKMAN. YES? WHAT IS IT?
- WE DID IT! I THINK HE'S GONNA BE OK.
- KEEP PRACTICING.
- AHH. THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE BIT OF ICE CREAM
TO HELP COOL OFF ON A HOT SUMMER'S DAY.
MMM! MMM!
- AFFIRMATIVE, PATSY,
AND NOTHING GOES BETTER WITH ICE CREAM
THAN A FINE PIECE OF CLASSIC LITERATURE.
- ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!
- UNH! - OOF!
- ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM...
- MISS MUCUS, WHY ARE BOYS SO WEIRD?
- YEAH.
- [BELCH] AND GROSS, TOO.
- BECAUSE THEY'RE FROM MARS.
- MARS?
- MISS MUCUS IS JUST TEASING US.
- YOU GIRLS CAN BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT,
BUT I HAVE YET TO MEET A MAN THAT I KNEW FOR A FACT
WASN'T COMPLETELY FROM ANOTHER PLANET.
- I DON'T KNOW, PATSY. THE EVIDENCE IS QUITE COMPELLING.
MOST IF NOT ALL OF THE MALE CHARACTERS
IN MY STATISTICALLY MALE DOMINATED SCIENCE FICTION COLLECTION
ARE ALIENS.
- WELL, LAZLO IS NO ALIEN.
- LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING, PATSY.
BENEATH THAT SEEMINGLY PASSIVE AND ZEN-LIKE MONKEY EXTERIOR
MIGHT LIE A STRANGE VISITOR FROM ANOTHER PLANET.
FACE IT, PATSY. FACTS ARE FACTS.
- I BET HIS KISSES SEND YOU INTO ORBIT.
- MMM, MMM, MMM.
- CAN IT, GRETCHEN.
WELL, YOU'RE BOTH WRONG, AND I'LL PROVE IT.
3 OF US ARE GOING TO PAY JELLY CABIN A VISIT TONIGHT,
AND WE'LL SETTLE WHETHER OR NOT BOYS ARE ALIENS
ONCE AND FOR ALL, SQUIRREL SCOUT'S HONOR!
- SQUIRREL SCOUT'S HONOR.
- OK, JELLY CABIN, YOU HEARD DR. LUMPUS.
WE'VE GOT TO GET IT RIGHT.
QUICK, DR. RAJ, DIAGNOSIS.
- I--I DO NOT KNOW. HE LOOKS VERY HOT.
MAYBE HE NEEDS SOME WATER.
- [GASP]
HE'S GOT HEAT FRUSTRATION!
CODE RED! CODE RED! CLEAR THE TRAUMA WARD!
PATIENT STILL APPEARS AQUATIC AND UNRESPONSIVE.
PATIENT IS FLAT-LINING!
QUICK, DR. RAJ, CALL OBSTETRICS AND PREP FOR SURGERY!
- BUT I HAVE NOT EVEN SCRUBBED YET.
EEE! AAH!
- READY FOR SHOCK THERAPY.
CLEAR!
[SIGH]
PATIENT'S EYES ARE GOOGLY AGAIN.
- OH, YES. VERY WELL DONE, DR. LAZLO.
- WELL DONE! WELL DONE!
- HEY, LAZLO, HOW DID YOU DO THAT SPARKLY THING?
- EASY. YOU JUST GET SOME FRICTION GOING,
AND VOILA!
TA-DA!
- HEH HEH HEH! - WOW!
YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?
- AND THIS?
- OOH! AHH!
- ALL RIGHT. THIS LOOKS ABOUT RIGHT.
LET'S SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.
GRETCHEN, YOUR NAIL FILE.
- OK, NECKERLY, YOU'RE UP.
- OOH! - AAH!
- [GASP]
- WHAT IS IT, NINA?
- THEY CAN'T BE! - WHO CAN'T BE?
- THE BEAN SCOUTS. THEY'RE--
- THEY'RE WHAT? NINA!
- ELECTROID SPACE BORGS.
THEY'VE COME TO BLOW UP THE EARTH,
JUST LIKE IN MY BOOK.
- ELECTROID SPACE BORGS?
- COOL! LET ME SEE. - ME, TOO! ME, TOO!
- OOH! OOH! AHH!
- LAZLO'S AN ALIEN!
- PATSY, CALM DOWN!
AND GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF MY NOSE.
[CRASH]
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT...LET'S RECHARGE!
- [CRYING]
I NEVER THOUGHT MY LAZLO COULD BE...AN ALIEN.
- PATSY, HE'S NOT JUST ANY ALIEN.
HE'S A... "AN ELECTROID SPACE BORG
THAT FEASTS OFF THE HOST PLANET'S POPULATION."
- THAT'S ENOUGH! - AAH!
- OK. I CAN ACCEPT THAT LAZLO AND THE BEANS ARE ALIENS,
BUT I AM A SQUIRREL SCOUT,
AND WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT SQUIRREL SCOUTS WON'T ACCEPT?
- UH...GETTING THEIR BRAINS EATEN BY ELECTROID SPACE BORGS?
- LET'S GET 'EM, GIRLS!
- [GRUNTING]
- WHO ARE YOU?
- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- [SNIFFING]
AND WHY DO YOU SMELL SO NICE?
- HEE HEE HEE!
- SHUT YOUR TRAPS.
- HOW--HOW CAN THEY SMELL SO NICE
AND BE SO MEAN?
- TELL US YOUR PLANS, YOU DISGUSTING ALIENS.
- ALIENS? WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
- DO YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA FALL FOR THAT?
- WE'RE TOO SMART.
- YOU SAID IT, GRETCHEN. UH, AHEM. I MEAN, NUMBER 3.
- AAH!
SQUIRREL SCOUTS.
- HEY, SQUIRREL SC--
- LET ME HANDLE THIS. I HAVE A PLAN.
- I HEARD THAT! WHAT PLAN ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- OUR PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD, OF COURSE.
- [ALL GASP]
- I KNEW IT!
- AND WE WILL BEGIN BY EATING EVERYONE'S BRAINS.
- OUR BRAINS? WE LOVE OUR BRAINS.
- YOU BETTER CALL OFF YOUR INVASION
BECAUSE WE'RE KEEPING OUR BRAINS.
- NO ONE CAN CALL OFF THE PLAN EXCEPT...
THE LEADER!
- AAH!
- HEY! GIVE ME THAT!
- TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER.
HA! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT.
- [LAUGHING]
[HIGH-PITCHED VIBRATING]
- [TEETH CHATTERING]
YAH! IT'S THE ALIEN LEADER!
- HEE HEE HEE!
- [SCREAMING]
- OH, FEARFUL LEADER.
WHO DARES APPROACH ME?
IT'S JUST ME, LAZLO THE ALIEN.
STATE YOUR BUSINESS, OR I'LL MELT YOUR FACE OFF!
BAG LADIES FROM EARTH HAVE DISCOVERED OUR PLAN.
NO MATTER!
WE WILL STILL CARRY OUT OUR PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD,
AND WE'LL START BY EATING THE BRAINS OF...
THE BAG PEOPLE!
- [SCREAMING]
- BECAUSE THEY SMELL SO GOOD.
- [CRYING]
BUT I LIKE MY BRAIN! I LIKE IT!
- I LOVE YOUR BRAIN, TOO!
- HEY, WHO'S OUT THERE?
- WE'RE JUST SQUIRREL SCOUTS.
- WITH UNFLAVORFUL SQUIRREL BRAINS.
- ISN'T THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT WOULD APPEASE YOUR HUNGER?
- WELL, THERE IS ONE THING.
SNICKERS
- MMM! - MMM!
- IT IS EVEN BETTER THAN I IMAGINED IT WOULD BE.
[SLURPING]
- [SLURPS]
IT'S SO COLD, I CAN SEE MY BREATH.
[EXHALES]
HEY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH CLAM?
- OH, HO, HO!
- HE HAS WHAT WE CALL THE BRAIN FREEZE.
MMMPH! MMMPH!
- HA HA HA! BRAIN FREEZE!
[SCREECHES]
- [LAUGHING]
- BE CAREFUL.
- YOUR FACES COULD STICK THAT WAY.
- ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU JUST ATE 16 GALLONS OF FROZEN GLUE.
- AND, UH, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ALIENS DON'T EAT ICE CREAM.
- OH, YEAH? LET'S RECHARGE.
[SQUIRREL SCOUTS SCREAMING]
- SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS ORDERED US
TO HAVE YOU FOR LUNCH.
- AH, GEE, THANKS.
AFTER I EAT MY FISH STICKS,
CAN I GO BACK IN THE WATER?
- SURE!
- FISH STICKS!
- HA HO HO!
THANKS FOR RECOVERING
MY SNOW GLOBE COLLECTION.
EVER SINCE I LOST IT,
I'VE HAD SUCH ODD FOOD CRAVINGS,
DON'T YOU KNOW?
I'M--WELL, I'M REALLY A VEGETARIAN, YOU KNOW.
[MOO]
[TOOT] [BLATT]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER & NCI --www.ncicap.org--