[REVEILLE PLAYS]
>> ATTENTION, CAMPERS,
ATTENTION, CAMPERS--
IT'S TIME FOR CAMP LAZLO!
>> ♪ THERE WERE TO SCOUTS
WHO MADE A FRIEND
AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
L-A-Z-L-O ♪
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O ♪
>> ♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O ♪
>> ♪ AND THEN THAT TRIO
WENT TO CAMP
AND TURNED IT UPSIDE-O
L-A-Z-L-O ♪
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O ♪
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O ♪
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
>> SLINKMAN!
AREN'T YOU DONE WITH MY
IRONING YET?
>> JUST FINISHING YOUR
BADGE SASH, SIR.
>> SLINKMAN, I'M FREEZING MY
ANTLERS OFF IN HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M DAMP AND
EXPOSED?
>> UH, SIR, I THINK WE HAVE A
PROBLEM.
THERE APPEARS TO BE AN ISSUE
WITH YOUR BADGE SASH, SIR.
IT'S...
WELL, IT'S INCOMPLETE.
>> YEAH, SO WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
>> THAT MEANS THERE'S A BADGE
YOU DIDN'T EARN.
>> JUST GET ONE FROM THE UTILITY
CLOSET AND STICK IT ON FOR ME.
>> UH, ACTUALLY, SIR, I CAN'T.
YOU HAVE TO EARN IT OR COMMANDER
HOO-HAH WILL FIND OUT AND
TERMINATE YOUR COMMAND.
>> WHAT?
>> AND YOU'LL NEVER GET A CHANCE
TO BE PROMOTED TO GRAND LEGUME,
LIKE YOU ALWAYS DREAMED.
>> AH.
GRAND LEGUME.
OH, PSHAW.
HOW'S THAT OLD WINDBAG EVER
GONNA FIND OUT?
>> WELL, I'LL...
I'LL HAVE TO TELL HIM, SIR.
>> YOU WOULDN'T REALLY DO THAT,
WOULD YOU, SLINKMAN?
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
SLINKMAN?
>> I'M SORRY, SIR.
IF I DON'T, I'LL GET SALTED.
>> WHAT BADGE AM I MISSING?
>> THE HANDY HELPER BADGE.
>> AND THAT MEANS TO EARN THAT
BADGE, I HAVE TO...
[MUTTERING]
>> HELP SOMEONE.
>> HELP SOMEONE?!
NO!
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SIR?
>> I'M SIMPLY TOO VALUABLE TO
WASTE AWAY AT THIS MISERABLE
EXCUSE FOR A CAMP.
THE REAL WORLD NEEDS SOMEONE
WITH MY CAN-DO SPIRIT,
MY INTELLECT.
>> BUT, SIR, WHY LEAVE WHEN YOU
COULD JUST STAY, EARN YOUR
BADGE, AND BE DONE WITH IT?
>> BECAUSE A MAN OF THE REAL
WORLD DOESN'T NEED BADGES OR
GRAND LEGUMES, SLINKMAN.
GOOD-BYE, CAMP KIDNEY,
YOU OLD PILE OF LOGS.
REAL WORLD, HERE I COME--
>> SIR!
>> JUST ONE OF THE HAZARDS OF
THE REAL WORLD, SLINKMAN.
HERE, A MAN MUST PICK
HIMSELF UP AND--
>> SIR, WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER TO
JUST EARN THE BADGE?
>> EASIER?
YES, SLINKMAN.
BUT NOT WHAT A MAN OF THE REAL
WORLD WOULD DO.
OH!
>> YES, BUT I WONDER IF YOU ARE
CUT OUT FOR THE REAL WORLD, SIR.
>> CUT OUT FOR IT?
WHY, TAYLOR-MADE IS MORE LIKE--
OH!
THAT ONE ACTUALLY HURT A LITTLE.
>> PLEASE RECONSIDER, SIR.
[ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING]
>> [SCREAMING]
[DUCKS QUACKING]
SLINKMAN?
>> SIR?
>> OK, WHO DO I GOTTA HELP?
>> HIYA, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS.
>> SUDDENLY, TIRES UP MY NOSE
DON'T SEEM SO BAD.
>> SIR, JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE.
THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO
VOLUNTEERED.
>> YEP.
SO YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDY HELPER
BADGE.
HEY, GUYS, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS IS
HERE TO HELP US.
>> OH, GOOD!
WE NEED LOTS OF HELP.
EE!
>> BOY, I'LL SAY.
>> GOOD LUCK, SIR.
>> YEAH, WHATEVER.
>> SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS, WE'VE GOT
AN IDEA FOR HOW YOU COULD GET
YOUR HANDY HELPER BADGE.
YOU COULD HELP US WITH OUR BUNK
SWIMMING.
>> I'M BUSY.
>> OK.
BUT YOU'RE REALLY MISSING OUT.
>> FREE-STYLE!
>> BACK STROKE.
[COW MOOS]
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> [GROWLING]
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
I'LL HELP YOU WITH YOUR STUPID
BUNK SWIMMING.
>> HIGHER, SIR.
>> HEY, I'M DOING IT.
HA HA.
IT'S KIND OF FUN.
LOOK AT ME.
BACK STROKE!
>> HOW'S THE WATER, SIR?
>> IT'S ADULT SWIM.
NOW, LET THE GROWNUPS HAVE
SOME FUN.
[LAUGHING]
>> SIR, THIS ISN'T BEING VERY
HELPFUL.
>> AHA!
[CRASH]
WELL, THAT WAS REFRESHING.
>> OH.
>> HERE HE COMES!
HERE HE COMES!
>> MAGICAL FLOATING HEAD
MUST BE FED.
>> HERE IS YOUR FOOD,
MR. MAGICAL FLOATING HEAD.
[MUNCHING]
>> MY TURN!
>> SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS,
WANT TO PLAY MAGICAL FLOATING
HEAD FOR YOUR BADGE?
>> HOW DOES ME PLAYING MAGICAL
FLOATING HEAD HELP ME GET MY
BADGE?
>> IF YOU PLAY, YOU'LL BE
HELPING, 'CAUSE THEN CLAM WILL
HAVE SOMEONE TO FEED.
>> YEAH, YEAH--FEED!
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY?
>> EH.
>> MAGICAL FLOATING HEADS
MUST BE FED.
[MUNCHING]
>> HEY, NOT BAD!
WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS STUFF?
>> MAGICAL FLOATING HEAD FOOD.
>> WHATEVER.
HIT ME.
[MUNCHING]
HMM!
THIS STUFF IS ALL RIGHT!
HIT ME AGAIN.
>> UM, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO
PUSH, SIR.
>> OUT OF THE WAY, KID.
>> THIS DOESN'T SEEM VERY HANDY
OR HELPFUL TO ME.
>> MORE, MORE!
GIVE ME MORE!
[BURP]
>> OH, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS?
>> WHAT?
>> WOULD YOU HELP US GET TO
SLEEP BY READING US A STORY?
IT WOULD HELP YOU EARN YOU HANDY
HELPER BADGE.
>> MMM, I'LL GIVE YOU
A HELPING HAND.
[MUTTERING]
>> HERE YOU GO,
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS.
>> "THE HAPPY SQUIRREL."
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.
>> PLEASE!
>> ALL RIGHT.
BUT I DON'T SEE HOW READING
"THE HAPPY SQUIRREL" IS GONNA
HELP ANYBODY GET TO SLEEP.
ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE
WAS A HAPPY--
[SNORING]
[MUTTERING]
HAPPY SQUIRREL.
[DONKEY BRAYS]
>> [SNORING]
[KNOCKING]
>> WHO IS IT?
>> SIR?
WHAT GOES ON?
>> UH, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS GOT
SLEEPY.
>> HAS HE ACTUALLY HELPED YOU
WITH ANYTHING?
>> WELL, UM, HE...
NO, HE HASN'T.
>> AH!
GOOD MORNING, SLINKMAN.
I JUST SLEPT LIKE A BABY.
>> IT'S AFTER NOON, SIR,
AND I'M SORRY, BUT I'VE SEEN
ENOUGH.
>> WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
>> WELL, IT'S OBVIOUS YOU
HAVEN'T DONE TOO MUCH HELPING.
I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO MAKE A
PHONE CALL TO HOO-HAH.
>> NO!
YOU CAN'T DO IT.
THAT MEANS NO SCOUTMASTER,
NO GRAND LEGUME!
PLEASE, I'M NOT READY FOR THE
REAL WORLD.
I DON'T WANT TO BE A HOOD
ORNAMENT!
>> WAIT, SLINKMAN!
PLEASE GIVE HIM ONE MORE CHANCE.
WE DON'T WANT TO LOSE OUR
BELOVED SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS.
>> HAVE PITY ON A POOR,
WORTHLESS MOOSE.
>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I'LL GIVE YOU TWO HOURS.
AND IF YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE AND
GET YOUR BADGE BY THEN, I WON'T
CALL HOO-HAH.
TWO HOURS.
>> BOY, THAT WAS CLOSE.
LET'S GET SOME WAFFLES.
>> DON'T WORRY, SIR.
YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME DO
SOMETHING AND GET THAT BADGE.
>> HOW ON EARTH AM I GONNA HELP
YOU WHEN I'M NOT GOOD AT
ANYTHING BUT BEING A JERK?!
>> THAT'S IT!
YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME BECOME
A JERK!
>> I'M ROAD KILL!
[SOBBING]
>> NOW, WHAT WOULD A JERK DO IN
THE MESS HALL?
>> WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO CUT IN
LINE OR SOMETHING.
YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THAT?
>> OF COURSE, I CAN!
I FEEL LIKE A JERK JUST THINKING
ABOUT IT.
DON'T LOOK NOW, SAMSON,
BUT THERE'S ONE BIG JERK THAT
JUST CUT IN LINE RIGHT BEHIND
YOU.
[GIGGLING]
>> EXCUSE ME, IS THIS THE END OF
THE LINE?
>> WHY, YES, IT IS.
BUT BECAUSE I'M SUCH A BIG JERK,
I'M GONNA CUT IN LINE RIGHT
BEHIND YOU.
>> WELL, THANKS...
I GUESS.
>> YOU'RE NOT WELCOME!
HA HA HA.
HOW WAS THAT, COACH?
>> NEEDS WORK.
>> OK, SO WHAT WOULD A JERK DO
OUTSIDE THE MESS HALL?
>> WHY DON'T YOU TRY SOME GOOD
OLD-FASHIONED NAME-CALLING.
>> OH, I'M GOOD AT
OLD-FASHIONED.
HIYA, YE OLD CLAMMUS
OF YE OLD CAMP KIDNEY!
SALUTATIONS, YE OLD EDWARD,
DUKE OF PLATYPUSSHIRE.
OH, HAIL TO THEE, SIR RAJ OF
CABIN JELLY.
>> HUH.
MAYBE A LITTLE OUT OF YOUR
LEAGUE.
WHY DON'T YOU TRY SCARING THE
DICKENS OUT OF SOME POOR SAP.
>> BOO!
>> THANKS, LAZLO.
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> HEY, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS.
HOW AM I DOING?
>> AND HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU BEING
A JERK NOW?
>> WELL, I THREW THE BIGGEST
PARTY EVER, INVITED EVERY SINGLE
PERSON I KNOW, BUT I DIDN'T
INVITE MYSELF!
WHAT A JERK I AM TO MYSELF.
>> I GIVE UP.
SLINKMAN, CALL HOO-HAH.
I COULDN'T HELP A FISH TO A CUP
OF WATER.
>> WELL, I DON'T TAKE ANY
PLEASURE IN THIS, SIR.
>> DON'T TOUCH THAT PHONE!
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS HELPED ME.
HE HELPED ME!
>> LOOK, LAZLO, I UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU REALLY DON'T WANT
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS TO LEAVE,
BUT I DON'T THINK THAT HE'S
CAPABLE OF HELPING ANYONE BUT
HIMSELF.
>> BUT HE'S HELPED ME
TO BECOME A JERK.
>> I DON'T SEE IT.
>> WAIT, I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.
NAME-CALLING.
YOU, SLINKMAN, ARE NOTHING BUT
AN OLD...
AN OLD SLUGWARD CHAP OF
SLUGGENSHIRE.
[WHEEL SQUEAKING]
BOO!
>> TRY TO RELAX.
DON'T LET THE STRESSES OF THE
OUTSIDE WORLD CONTROL YOUR MIND.
FOCUS ON YOUR INTERNAL
HAPPINESS.
>> AH!
HELLO, MR. BUTTERFLY.
>> YOU ARE IN YOUR HAPPY PLACE.
>> I LOVE BEING IN MY HAPPY
PLACE.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
>> TRY TO ELIMINATE ANNOYING
DISTRACTIONS.
>> HELLO.
COMMANDER HOO-HAH HERE.
LUMPUS, YOU SAY?
>> DON'T LET THINGS BOTHER YOU.
>> MISSING WHAT?
A HANDY HELPER BADGE?!
AAGH!
>> YES, THERE'S JUST A BIG EMPTY
SPOT ON HIS SASH.
>> HE'LL NEVER GET PROMOTED TO
GRAND LEGUME EVER!
>> YOU'LL HAVE TO REMOVE HIM
FROM COMMAND, SIR.
>> NO!
GIVE ME THAT PHONE!
>> WHAT?
WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?
>> GIVE ME THAT PHONE,
I'M TALKING TO COMMANDER--
OW!
>> SLINKMAN!
WHO IS THAT?
>> OW, OW, OW!
>> SLINKMAN!
>> [GRUNTING]
>> SLINKMAN, WHO IS THAT JERK?!
>> DID HE SAY YOU'RE A--
>> YEP.
>> THEN YOU REALLY ARE A--
>> YEP.
>> SO, LUMPUS DID HELP YOU TO
BECOME A--
>> YEP.
>> SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS!
HEY, COME BACK!
>> WAIT!
>> HEY, COME BACK,
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS!
>> YOU HELPED ME!
>> COME BACK!
YOU HELPED LAZLO.
>> WHAT?
>> YOU HELPED LAZLO.
YOU HELPED HIM.
>> THAT'S RIGHT!
YOU TURNED ME INTO A BIG JERK.
HOO-HAH SAYS SO.
>> I HELPED THAT LITTLE MONKEY
THING?
>> YES.
I HAVE YOUR BADGE RIGHT HERE!
>> I DID IT!
♪ LAZLO'S A JERK
I HELPED HIM BE A JERK
HE'S A JERK
HE'S A-- ♪
OUCH!
>> [GROWLS]
CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME TURN OFF
THIS BLASTED COCKAMAMIE TAPE?!
COME ON.
DON'T BE A JERK!
>> ...TO YOUR NEIGHBOR.
>> [GRUNTS]
UH-HUH.
[GRUNTS]
[MOANS]
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
UH...
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--]
HA HA HA.
[SCREAMS]
[GIGGLES]
OW!
THAT ONE ACTUALLY HURT A LITTLE.
[TOOT]