Samson
>> ATTENTION, CAMPERS.
ATTENTION, CAMPERS.
IT'S TIME FOR CAMP LAZLO.
>> ♪ THERE WERE TWO SCOUTS
WHO MADE A FRIEND
AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
L-A-Z-L-O
>> ♪ L
>> ♪ A
>> ♪ Z-L-O
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
>> ♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
>> ♪ AND THEN THAT TRIO
WENT TO CAMP
AND TURNED IT UPSIDE DOWN-O
L-A-Z-L-O ♪
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O ♪
>> ♪ YODEL-AY-EEE
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
>> ATTEN--OH!
OUCH.
DON'T FORGET, ALL YOU SCOUTS.
TODAY IS THE DAY FOR YOUR ANNUAL
CHECKUP.
PLEASE REPORT TO NURSE LESLIE'S
OFFICE.
>> PLUS I FEEL VERY STRANGE, AND
DO YOU REMBER LAST MONTH WHEN
I SCRAPED MY KNEE?
WELL, DO YOU REMBER THAT SCAB?
>> COME ON, ALREADY!
WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT IN THIS
GERM-INFESTED LINE?
NURSIE, WHAT'S THE HOLD-UP?!
>> I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO
THIS ALL SUMMER.
YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES IT ALL WORTH
IT?
>> UH, GREAT HEALTH?
>> NUH-UH.
LOLLIPOPS.
>> NEXT.
>> NAME'S LAZLO.
CHECK THE FILE AND PREPARE THE
LOLLIPOP.
>> THANKS, LAZLO.
WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU?
>> NO PROBLEM.
>> OK, SO WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
>> SAME THING WE HAVE EVERY
YEAR--PERFECT HEALTH.
GIVE ME LOLLIPOP!
>> EASY THERE, CHIEF.
SAYS HERE YOU HAVE BROWN EYES...
>> YES.
>> LAST I CHECKED, YEP.
>> BROWN HAIR...
>> YES.
>> YES, SIR.
>> NO CAVITIES...
>> FINE.
>> YEP.
>> WEIGHING IN AT 35 POUNDS...
>> FINE.
>> CHECK.
>> LOLLIPOP, LOLLIPOP!
LOLLI, LOLLI, LOLLI!
HA HA!
GREEN FLAVOR, MY FAVORITE!
>> NEXT.
>> OK, NURSE LESLIE, LOLLIPOP
ME.
>> WHAT?
>> DON'T I GET A LOLLIPOP?
>> YOU JUST TOOK ONE.
>> NO, I DIDN'T.
>> YES, YOU DID.
>> NO, I DIDN'T.
>> YES, YOU DID.
I HEARD YOU TAKE ONE.
NOW GET LOST.
>> OK, THEN.
[SNIFFLING]
>> HMMPH!
>> WHERE IS YOUR LOLLIPOP,
LAZLO?
>> NURSE LESLIE WOULDN'T GIVE ME
ONE.
>> OH.
CLAM AND I GOT OURS.
GRAPE AND CHERRY.
[SLURPING]
>> HEY, EDWARD, CAN I HAVE YOUR
LOLLIPOP?
>> WHAT?
GET YOUR OWN ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR
TO SUCK ON!
>> OH, NO, I DON'T WANT TO SUCK
ON IT.
WE WANT TO BURY IT.
>> WE ARE GROWING A LOLLIPOP
TREE.
>> WHAT'S A LOLLIPOP TREE?
>> YOU KNOW, SO ALL THE LITTLE
CREATURES OF THE FOREST CAN EAT
LOLLIPOPS.
>> THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING--
>> LOLLIPOP TREE?
COOL!
HERE, TAKE MINE!
>> MINE, TOO.
HA HA HA!
>> THANKS, SKIP, CHIP.
>> THAT IS WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT!
>> A LOLLIPOP TREE!
>> LOOKS LIKE YOUR ANNUAL
CHECKUP WENT WELL, SIR.
>> YEP.
>> AND I SEE THAT NURSE LESLIE
GAVE YOU A LOLLIPOP, HIS
APPROVING SIGNATURE OF GOOD
HEALTH.
>> UH-HUH.
UH, ACTUALLY, I TOOK IT MYSELF.
>> WELL, WHAT EXACTLY DID NURSE
LESLIE TELL YOU, SIR?
>> UH, LET'S SEE.
BROWN HAIR, BROWN EYES, WEIGHING
IN AT 35 POUNDS.
>> 35 POUNDS?
>> CORRECTAMUNDO.
>> B-BUT, SIR, YOU'RE A
FULL-GROWN MOOSE.
YOU SHOULD WEIGH OVER 500
POUNDS.
>> HUH?
>> SEVERE MALNUTRITION LIKE THAT
CAN CAUSE HAIR LOSS, ANTLER
LOSS, BRAIN LOSS, AND EVEN
DEATH.
>> HAIR LOSS?!
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
I DON'T WANT TO BE A RAVING,
BALD, ANTLERLESS MOOSE THAT'S,
UH, NOT ALIVE!
REALLY UNATTRACTIVE, SLINKMAN.
WHAT CAN I DO?
>> WELL, SOMETIMES
OVER-CONSUMPTION OF FOOD LEADS
TO WEIGHT GAIN.
IT'S BEEN PROVEN BEFORE.
EAT IT, EAT IT, EAT IT!
LUMPUS, LUMPUS, YEAH!
OH, YEAH, THERE YOU GO.
DOWN THE HATCH, SIR.
YOU'RE DOING GOOD.
FEEL THE CARBO LOADING.
WHOO, WHAT AN APPETITE!
GOOD WORK, SIR.
>> SO, DID YOU LIKE IT?
>> OH, YES, ME LIKEY.
[LOUD BURP]
WHEW!
>> HOW YOU FEELING NOW, SIR?
>> HOW DO I FEEL?
MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW DO I LOOK?
>> WHY, YOU LOOK THINNER
ALREADY.
>> YEAH, HEH HEH--WHAT?
>> THE McMUESLI LOW-CAL FAT-FREE
FOOD-FREE WEIGHT-LOSS MEAL PLAN
NEVER FAILS TO SHED--
>> YOU PSYCHOTIC SALAD SPINNER!
>> POUNDS.
>> I'M TRYING TO GAIN WEIGHT!
>> GAIN WEIGHT?
I CAN'T HANDLE SUCH INSANITY!
HE IS NOT OF THIS WORLD!
>> I GOT TO GET SOME REAL FOOD!
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
[PANTING]
>> UH, SIR, HOW ABOUT SOME FRESH
MANGOS OR--
>> FORGET ABOUT FRUIT!
I NEED MEAT!
I NEED FAT!
I NEED--
>> HAPPY LITTLE ANIMALS, EATING
FROM OUR VERY OWN LOLLIPOP TREE.
>> WHOO!
>> LOLLIPOP TREE, LOLLIPOP TREE!
>> NOW ALL THE LITTLE CREATURES
OF THE FOREST CAN ENJOY
LOLLIPOPS.
>> AND UNCLE LUMPY CAN HAVE
LUNCH.
FURRY KABOBS!
[PANTING]
>> NO, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS!
YOU CAN'T EAT THE SWEET LITTLE
CREATURES OF THE FOREST!
>> WHICH WAY DID THEY GO?
>> SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS!
FOREST CREATURES ARE OUR
FRIENDS!
>> COME BACK HERE, YOU FUZZY
HORS D'OEUVRES!
>> WE DON'T EAT OUR FRIENDS!
>> COME ON, LITTLE CREATURES.
THERE'S A MOOSE FAT GLOBULE WITH
YOUR NAME ON IT!
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
>> SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS!
>> RAGING CARNIVORE!
>> AAAH!
MUST EAT FUZZY ANIMALS!
[PANTING]
HI!
>> YOU SURE SURPRISED US.
OH, COME ON NOW, MR. LUMPUS.
WE'RE NOT FOOD.
[BIRD CLUCKING]
>> NO, YOU'RE NOT FOOD, BUT HE
SURE IS.
[ALL GASP]
[BIRD BURPS]
>> THAT'S THE ELUSIVE
LARDADOODLE BIRD.
[BIRD CLUCKING]
>> HE'S SO FAT.
>> 97% FAT, TO BE PRECISE.
LARDUDIUS MAXIMUS GLUTENUS.
>> BIGGEST MEALIUS FOR MEUS.
>> FATSO BIRD.
>> HE'S KIND OF THE GOAT OF THE
BIRD WORLD.
THE LARDADOODLE EATS ANYTHING.
[BIRD PASSES GAS]
AREN'T WE LUCKY TO SPOT SUCH A
RARE BIRD, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS?
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS?
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M
DOING?
WITH A MEAL LIKE THIS, I'LL GAIN
ALL THE WEIGHT I NEED IN ONE
SITTING.
>> BUT, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS, YOU
CAN'T JUST GO OUT INTO NATURE
AND START CHEWING ON POOR BIRDS.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT, LAZLO.
>> OF COURSE I AM, SIR.
>> HERE, KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.
I'LL GO HOME AND GET MY NUT GUN
SO I CAN TAKE HIM TO GO.
WHY EAT IT RAW WHEN I CAN HAVE
IT COOKED, RIGHT?
>> RIGHTY-O, SCOUTMASTER.
YOU GO HOME AND GET YOUR--WHAT?
[BIRD CLUCKING]
DON'T YOU WORRY, LARDY.
I'LL GET YOU OUT OF HERE IN A
JIFFY.
PUSH, GUYS!
>> PUSH LARD!
>> PUSH!
>> PUSH LARD!
>> HERE, LARDADOODLY DOODLY
DOODLY DOODLY!
HUH.
>> KEEP PUSHING, GUYS.
PUSH, CLAM!
>> PUSH LARD!
>> HA!
GOTCHA!
[BRANCHES SNAPPING]
UH-OH.
[BIRD CLUCKING]
>> PUSH LARD!
PUSH LARD!
>> WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH
HIM?
>> PUT HIM ON A DIET!
>> ♪ HE'LL BE COMIN' ROUND
THE MOUNTAIN WHEN HE COMES
AND I'LL SERVE YOU UP
WITH BISCUITS WHEN YOU'RE DONE
YEE-HA!
YES, I'LL SERVE YOU UP... ♪
ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE YOU?
YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME FOREVER.
OH, GEE.
WITH ALL THAT McMUESLI FIBER, I
THINK I NEED TO MAKE A PIT STOP.
AHA!
[BIRD CLUCKING]
>> I THINK WE LOST HIM.
>> SURPRISE!
>> NO!
>> NO--OH.
[ALL GASP]
>> ♪ MOOSEY'S LITTLE BABY
LOVES FAT BIRDS, FAT BIRDS
MOOSEY'S LITTLE BABY LOVES
FAT BIRD JAM ♪
[HUMMING]
HUH?
HUH.
[HUMMING]
GRRR!
>> DON'T WORRY, LARDY.
I'M ALMOST...
>> IN YOU GO.
[GRUNTING]
>> WELL, THAT'S NOT--HEY!
>> I'M COMING, LARDY.
>> HEY!
>> SHAME ON YOU, SCOUTMASTER
LUMPUS, PICKING ON A POOR,
DEFENSELESS CREATURE OF THE
FOREST.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF SOME
CREEPY OLD SCOUTMASTER TRIED TO
EAT--
>> LISTEN, YOU, THIS IS BETWEEN
ME AND THE BIRD.
>> OH, YEAH?
>> YEAH!
>> YEAH?
>> YEAH!
I'M GONNA EAT THAT BIRD IF IT'S
THE LAST--AAAH!
[BIRD BURPS]
>> AAAH!
>> SHAME ON YOU, EATING A POOR,
DEFENSELESS SCOUTMAS--
>> AAAH!
AAAH!
[BABBLING HYSTERICALLY]
[BIRD BURPS]
>> I DEMAND YOU LET LUMPUS AND
ME FREE?
>> IT'S NO USE, KID.
WE'RE GONERS.
AS WE SIT HERE IN THE BELLY OF
THE BEAST, I CAN SEE THE FOLLY
OF MY SELFISH ACTIONS.
>> YEAH.
YOU FOLLIED A LOT.
>> BUT NOT MORE THAN YOU DID!
IF YOU DIDN'T KEEP ME FROM
EATING THAT BIRD, HE WOULDN'T
HAVE EATEN US!
>> SCOUTMASTER, SOMETIMES WE
EAT, SOMETIMES WE ARE EATEN.
IT'S THE CIRCLE OF SURVIVAL.
WE FORGIVE YOU, DOODLE OF LARD.
>> YEAH, WHAT THE HECK?
WE FORGIVE YOU.
>> I THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM
A HUG, SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS.
>> [BABBLING HYSTERICALLY]
[BIRD SQUAWKING]
[PASSES GAS]
>> EGGS?
>> WHERE'D ALL THE EGGS COME
FROM?
>> I DON'T KNOW, BUT THEY'RE
ABOUT TO HATCH.
HEY, MY DIARY!
>> AND MY RETAINER!
>> HEY, MY LAUNDRY!
>> MY BICYCLE!
>> MY CARAMEL APPLE!
>> MY SET OF ENCYCLOPEDIAS!
>> MY PANTS!
>> BUT NO SIGN OF LAZLO AND
LUMPUS.
LAZLO?
>> LARRY?
[BIRD SQUAWKING]
[KITCHEN TIMER RINGS]
>> OH!
OH, LAZLO, YOU ARE VERY MUCH
ALIVE!
>> LAZLO, LUMPUS NOT DEAD!
>> WE'RE ALIVE!
>> ALIVE?
>> HOORAY!
[CHEERING]
>> OH, THANK YOU, LARDADOODLE.
>> I PROMISE NEVER TO TRY AND
EAT YOU AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS I
LIVE.
OH, NO.
I STILL HAVEN'T EATEN.
[BIRD COOING]
>> OH, LOOK.
MA WANTS TO FEED HER BABY.
>> OH, UH, THAT'S VERY KIND OF
YOU, BUT I--
[GAGGING]
>> AW, HOW PRECIOUS.
>> [GROANING]
>> WELL, DOC, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> [GROANING]
>> NOTHING A McMUESLI WEIGHT
LOSS PLAN COULDN'T CURE.
[LUMPUS PASSES GAS]