[REVEILLE PLAYS]
>> ATTENTION, CAMPERS,
ATTENTION, CAMPERS--
IT'S TIME FOR "CAMP LAZLO!"
>> ♪ THERE WERE TWO SCOUTS
WHO MADE A FRIEND
AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
L-A-Z-L-O ♪
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
>> ♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
>> ♪ AND THEN THAT TRIO
WENT TO CAMP
AND TURNED IT UPSIDE DOWN-O
L-A-Z-L-O ♪
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O ♪
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
>> SLINKMAN!
HAVE YOU SEEN MY SCOUTMASTER
HAT?
AHEM!
GIVE ME THAT!
THE BIG HAT IS FOR THE
SCOUTMASTER!
PLAY DRESS-UP ALL YOU WANT,
SLINKMAN.
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE WHAT IT TAKES
TO BE A SCOUTMASTER.
>> OH, YEAH?
WELL, JANE DOE HAS ASKED ME TO
RUN ACORN FLATS WHILE SHE'S
AWAY, WHICH, IPSO FACTO, MAKES
ME A SCOUTMASTER FOR THE NEXT
FEW DAYS.
>> WELL, I GOT NEWS FOR YOU,
IPSO FACTO, YOU'RE GONNA
IPSO FAILO.
HA HA HA HA.
[GRUNTS]
>> OH, WE WILL REALLY MISS YOU.
>> BYE, MS. MUCUS!
BYE, MS. DOE!
>> OH, NOW DON'T WORRY.
MS. MUCUS AND I WILL ONLY BE
AWAY FOR TWO NIGHTS.
OH, HA HA HA.
OOPSIE DAISIES!
I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU
KIDDIES...
THAT WHILE I'M GONE,
MR. SLINKMAN OF THE BEAN SCOUTS
WILL BE IN CHARGE OF ACORN
FLATS.
HOW ABOUT THAT?!
ARRIVEDERCI, MY LITTLE LOVE
BUGS.
TOODLE-OODLE-OODLES FOR NOW!
>> MR. SLINKMAN?
>> A BEAN SCOUT?
>> WE HATE BEAN SCOUTS.
>> GOOD MORNING, SQUIRREL
SCOUTS!
I'M PROUD TO BE HERE.
AND DON'T WORRY.
I KNOW YOUR LITTLE GIRL MUSCLES
AND DELICATE BONE STRUCTURE
CAN'T HANDLE THE STUFF BOYS DO.
>> [GROWLING]
>> I WISH JANE DOE WAS BACK
ALREADY.
>> DON'T WORRY, SQUIRRELS.
ONCE THIS BEAN SCOUT SEES HOW
MUCH TROUBLE WE ARE, JANE DOE
WILL HAVE TO COME BACK TONIGHT.
>> OK, SQUIRRELS,
WHY DON'T WE TAKE ROLL CALL.
THIS WILL HELP ME LEARN YOUR
NAMES.
>> SURE THING, SCOUTMASTER
SLINKMAN.
HERE'S THE ROLL CALL SHEET.
>> OH, WONDERFUL.
ANITA LIFE.
>> HEE HEE HEE HEE!
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY?
ANITA LIFE?
>> YOU SURE DO!
>> HA HA HA HA.
>> OK.
HOW ABOUT EILEEN TOTHELEF--
LEFT?
>> THEN TRY YOUR RIGHT!
>> SAY!
WAIT A MINUTE!
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> OH, YOU SQUIRRELS.
HA HA HA.
OK, NEVER MIND ROLL CALL.
LET'S JUST START THE DAY.
[WHISTLE TOOTS]
OK, GIRLS.
A FUN GAME OF TENNIS.
PATSY, WHY DON'T YOU SERVE.
>> UM, WE DON'T HAVE A BALL.
>> OH, COME NOW.
THERE HAS TO BE A BALL AROUND
HERE SOMEWHERE.
>> I SEE ONE!
>> [GRUNTING]
>> [CHEERING]
>> OH, OW!
[GRUNTING]
STOP!
>> WAY TO KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE
BALL, MR. SLINKMAN.
>> HA.
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS?
>> WELL, IF IT ISN'T
MR. IPSO-DIPSO SCOUTMASTER
SLINKMAN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
GIRLS HAVE YOUR DEN MOTHER SKIRT
IN A TWIST?
>> OH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH ME.
SIR, NOTHING I DO SEEMS TO WORK.
THEY DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE ASKING
YOU THIS, BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY
WORDS OF ADVICE?
>> LET'S SEE...
WORDS OF ADVICE,
WORDS OF ADVICE...
ADVICE.
OH, YES.
CARE LESS AND BE INDIFFERENT.
OPEN HOSTILITY IS GOOD, TOO.
AND REMEMBER THE SCOUTMASTER
MOTTO: IT'S NOT FAIR, BUT I
DON'T CARE.
>> THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT, SIR.
THAT'S TERRIBLE ADVICE.
>> YEAH, SLINKMAN.
IT'S NOT FAIR, BUT I DON'T CARE.
>> OH, I DON'T KNOW.
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS' PHILOSOPHY
CAN'T BE RIGHT.
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING THE
GIRLS WILL RESPOND TO THAT I'M
NOT GETTING.
[CAT MEOWS]
HMM.
>> [GIGGLING]
>> GOOD MORNING, LADIES.
I HAD IT ALL WRONG YESTERDAY.
I SEE NOW THAT THE SQUIRREL
SCOUTS ARE MORE ABOUT LIPSTICK
AND MAKEOVERS.
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE ARE ALL ABOUT MAKEOVERS.
IN FACT, WHY DON'T WE DO ONE
NOW?!
>> UH, SIR?
>> AAGH!
>> THE GIRLS JUST REFUSED TO
LISTEN TO ME.
>> SLINKMAN, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE
TO YOU?!
THAT IS YOU, ISN'T IT, SLINKMAN?
>> SIR, IT'S NO USE.
I'M JUST A PLAYTHING TO THOSE
SQUIRREL SCOUTS.
>> SLINKMAN, YOU CAN'T LET THEM
DO THIS.
COMMAND RESPECT LIKE I DO.
AND DON'T FORGET THE MOTTO:
IT'S NOT FAIR, BUT I DON'T CARE!
>> SIR, I'M JUST HAVING A HARD
TIME BELIEVING THAT.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT, TOOTS.
HEY, YOU LOOK GOOD IN PINK.
HA HA HA HA HA.
[OWL HOOTING]
>> LOCKED.
OH!
KEYS, KEYS, KEYS.
OH!
DARN THESE POCKETLESS WOMEN'S
CLOTHES!
NOW WHERE AM I GONNA SLEEP?
MS. MUCUS IS A REAL AUTHORITY
NUT.
HMM.
[CHUCKLES]
YEAH, GIVE IT TO 'EM, MUCUS.
THOSE GIRLS NEED A GOOD KICK IN
THE--
HEY.
THAT'S IT.
LINE 'EM UP.
[WHISTLE TOOTS]
TEN-HUT!
YOU MADEMOISELLES HAVE HAD IT
SOFT AND EASY HERE UP TILL NOW!
I'M GONNA HAVE TO BREAK YOUR
SPIRITS AND REBUILD YOU!
TO THAT END, I HAVE CONSTRUCTED
A SOUL-CRUSHING OBSTACLE COURSE.
DUCK TUBES, STAIR-CLIMB, MAY
POLE, AND DING-DING, RING THE
BELL.
NOW, NOW, DON'T WORRY.
I WOULDN'T ASK A SCOUT TO DO
SOMETHING I COULDN'T DO.
>> BUT, MR. SLINKMAN, ACORN
FLATS ALREADY HAS AN OBSTACLE
COURSE.
WE BUILT IT LAST NIGHT.
SORRY WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO
MAKE IT HARDER.
BUT, OF COURSE, YOU WOULDN'T ASK
A SCOUT TO DO SOMETHING YOU
COULDN'T DO, RIGHT?
>> [CHEERING]
>> AAGH!
>> [ROARING]
>> AAGH!
AAGH!
OH!
OW!
OOF!
AAGH!
OOF!
AAGH!
[SCREAMING]
AAGH!
>> OOH!
>> THAT'S IT!
I'M THROUGH!
OH, I'M A FAILURE AS A
SCOUTMASTER!
[SOBBING]
NO, DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I'M UGLY!
[SOBBING]
>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GIRLS,
BUT I'M FEELING A LITTLE
CRUMMY ABOUT HOW WE TREATED
MR. SLINKMAN.
>> YEAH.
I THINK WE HURT HIS FEELINGS.
>> BEAN SCOUTS DON'T HAVE
FEELINGS, REMEMBER?
OH!
ALL RIGHT.
MAYBE WE OWE THE SLUG AN
APOLOGY.
>> ATTENTION, SQUIRREL SCOUTS OF
ACORN FLATS.
THIS IS SCOUTMASTER SLINKMAN
ANNOUNCING THAT TODAY IS LEAVE
YOUR SCOUTMASTER ALONE DAY.
HAVE A HAPPY.
[OPERA PLAYING]
AH.
DREAMS OF A SQUIRREL-FREE
SUMMER.
>> UM.
SCOUTMASTER SLINKMAN?
>> LEAVE YOUR SCOUTMASTER ALONE.
>> BUT I MADE YOU SOME BROWNIES.
IT'S JUST MAY WAY OF SAYING...
SORRY.
>> [BURPS]
NOW LEAVE YOUR SCOUTMASTER
ALONE.
>> SCOUTMASTER SLINKMAN,
IS THERE ANYTHING I COULD GET
FOR YOU?
>> YEAH, ALLIGATOR SHOES.
>> SCOUTMASTER SLINKMAN?
>> OH, WHAT IS IT NOW?!
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?!
>> WITH YOUR PERMISSION, SIR,
MAY I PADDLE TO THE MIDDLE OF
THE LAKE?
>> OH.
EXCELLENT IDEA.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WANT
EVERY SQUIRREL SCOUT IN CAMP TO
GET INTO THAT BOAT--
ON THE DOUBLE!
IS EVERYBODY PRESENT?!
>> PRESENT.
>> HOW ABOUT ANITA LIFE, HUH?
I SURE HOPE SHE'S PRESENT.
WELL, I WON'T WANT TO KEEP YOU
WAITING.
IT'S A LONG TRIP TO THE MIDDLE
OF THE LAKE.
>> BUT, MR. SLINKMAN, WE DON'T
HAVE A PADDLE.
>> IT'S NOT FAIR, BUT I DON'T
CARE.
TALK TO THE BULLHORN.
>> WELL, SQUIRREL SCOUTS,
I GUESS WE DESERVED THIS.
>> THIS IS AN EMERGENCY
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE WEATHER
CENTER.
A SEVERE HAILSTORM WILL BE
HITTING IN THE VICINITY OF ACORN
FLATS RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
>> OW!
WHAT THE BULL MOOSE?!
WHAT?
GIANT HAILSTORM?
[GASPS]
I--I...
I'VE BECOME LUMPUS!
>> [SCREAMING]
>> HELP!
>> OH, THE SQUIRRELS!
I'M COMING SQUIRREL SCO--
[GLUB, GLUB]
>> [SCREAMING]
[GASPS]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
>> OH, NO!
>> MR. SLINKMAN!
>> SCOUTMASTER SLINKMAN!
>> CAN YOU TALK TO ME?!
>> TELL ME--
[COUGHS]
WHO DO I LOOK LIKE?
>> YOU LOOK LIKE...
>> OUR HERO!
>> HURRAY FOR SCOUTMASTER
SLINKMAN--THE GREATEST
SCOUTMASTER EVER!
>> OOWOOGA!
OOWOOGA!
>> HA HA!
YOO-HOO!
SQUIRRELS!
OH!
WE'RE BACK!
OH, HA HA!
HELLO?!
HA HA.
WHERE'S MR. SLINKMAN?
HMM?
>> PROBABLY TORN TO SHREDS BY
THE SQUIRRELS.
>> GO, SLINKMAN!
GO, SLINKMAN!
>> GO, ME.
GO FASTER.
GO, ME.
GO FASTER.
GO, SCOUTMASTER!
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
>> WHY DON'T WE START WITH A
SHAMPOO?
>> AAGH!
AAGH!
HOT, HOT, HOT!
HOT!
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--]
[SCREAMING]