[REVEILLE PLAYS]
>> ATTENTION, CAMPERS,
ATTENTION, CAMPERS--
IT'S TIME FOR "CAMP LAZLO!"
>> ♪ THERE WERE TWO SCOUTS
WHO MADE A FRIEND
AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
L-A-Z-L-O ♪
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
>> ♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
>> ♪ AND THEN THAT TRIO
WENT TO CAMP
AND TURNED IT UPSIDE DOWN-O
L-A-Z-L-O ♪
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O ♪
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
>> ATTENTION ALL CAMPERS,
ATTENTION ALL CAMPERS:
PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO THE
FLAGPOLE TO MEET A SPECIAL
GUEST.
>> WELL, NICE TALKING TO YOU
GUYS.
WE HAVE TO GO MEET A SPECIAL
GUEST.
>> WHOO!
SPECIAL GUEST!
>> YES!
>> OH.
I GUESS WE'RE NOT SPECIAL ENOUGH
FOR YOU.
>> SO, WHO IS THIS SPECIAL GUEST
ANYWAY?
>> HOO HA'S DAUGHTER.
>> HOO HA'S DAUGHTER?
>> WHAT?!
>> IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
>> HERE HE COMES!
EVERYONE STAND AT ATTENTION.
[WHISTLE TOOTS]
>> ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK!
I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO MEET MY
PRECIOUS DAUGHTER--WHO I REFER
TO AS PUMPKIN--BUT NONE OF YOU
WILL EVER CALL HER PUMPKIN!
YOU WILL ALL REFER TO HER UNDER
MY STRICT SUPERVISION AS
PATSY SMILES.
>> LAZLO,
WHAT IS GOING ON?
>> I THINK PATSY IS HOO HA'S
DAUGHTER.
>> I DON'T SEE THE FAMILY
RESEMBLANCE.
>> HOW'S MY CHIP OFF THE OLD
BLOCK?
>> I'M GOOD!
>> THAT'S GOOD!
>> GOOD!
>> OW!
[GRUNTING]
UGH!
HA HA HA HA!
>> I SEE IT NOW.
>> I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ALL ASKING
YOURSELVES: WHY DID WOO HA BRING
HIS DAUGHTER HERE, HMM?
THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.
I HAVE DECIDED THAT SHE IS OF
PROPER AGE TO KNOW WHAT A BOY
IS.
>> DADDY, I KNOW WHAT A BOY--
>> AAH, AAH, AAH.
THIS, PUMPKIN, IS A BOY.
>> HI, LAZLO.
>> AHEM.
HOO HA'S YOUR DAD?
>> DUH.
>> NO FRATERNIZING WITH MY
PUMPKIN!
FRATERNIZING LEADS TO LIKING.
AND IF A BOY WANTS TO LIKE MY
PUMPKIN, AND NOT JUST LIKE--
I MEAN LIKE LIKE--
WHO COULD SAY WHAT I'D DO!
BUT I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT
THAT, DO I?
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?!
>> PSST.
LAZLO.
I MADE THIS FOR YOU.
>> OH, THANKS, PATSY.
WHAT IS IT?
>> READ IT.
>> "I LIKE YOU."
WAIT, WHAT?!
YOU HEARD YOUR DAD.
LIKING IS AGAINST THE RULES.
>> I DON'T CARE.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
>> AH HA!
THAT'S FUNNY,
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT IT.
>> IT'S FOR YOU.
>> NO, REALLY--KEEP IT.
>> WELL, WE BETTER GET GOING,
PUMPKIN.
DADDY CAN'T BE LATE FOR HIS
COURT-ORDERED ANGER MANAGEMENT
CLASSES.
OH, LOOK.
YOU DROPPED SOMETHING, PUMPKIN.
SOMETHING WITH WORDS.
"I LIKE YOU."
[INHALES SHARPLY]
[PANTING]
WHAT IS THIS?
>> UM...
IT'S A VALENTINE, DADDY.
>> WHO GAVE YOU THIS--
THIS FILTH?!
>> UM, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT
SOMEONE EXACTLY GAVE IT TO ME.
>> OH, SO THEY FORCED IT ON
YOU?!
>> NO.
>> WELL, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
A REGULAR CASANOVA.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, CASANOVA?!
>> LAZ--
>> I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR NAME
IS, CASANOVA!
DID YOU GIVE THIS TO MY
DAUGHTER, CUPID?!
>> IT WASN'T ME, SIR.
>> [SNIFFING]
NO.
IT WASN'T YOU.
SO, WHICH ONE OF THESE BEEFCAKES
IS IT?
GO AHEAD, CUPID.
POINT HIM OUT.
>> BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
>> WAS IT YOU, LOVE TRUNKS?!
>> NO, SIR.
IT WAS NOT ME.
>> HMM.
WAS IT YOU, YOU LITTLE BEAVER
DUCK?!
>> NO, SIR!
I WOULD NEVER.
>> HMM!
WHAT--
>> [URINATES]
>> QUIET, MAGGOT!
WRITE, MAGGOT!
KEEP WRITING, MAGGOTS!
>> IS ANYONE ELSE GETTING
OFFENDED BY THIS?
COME ON!
>> WHAT--WHY ARE WE DOING THIS
AGAIN?
>> THIS HANDWRITING TEST WILL
TELL ME WHO WROTE THIS.
I JUST HAVE TO MATCH THE TEST TO
THIS CARD.
AND THEN I CAN PUNISH WHOEVER
DID THIS FOR THE REST OF
ETERNITY.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH,
THAT'S ENOUGH!
NOW, TURN THEM IN!
QUICKLY, NOW.
QUICKLY, NOW!
OH, HO HO HO HO HO!
LOOK AT THIS, PUMPKIN.
THE ONE ON TOP IS JUST AS GIRLY
AS THE VALENTINE.
OH, THAT WAS TOO EASY.
HOLD ON!
THIS ONE'S EVEN GIRLIER.
GIRLIER!
GIRLIER PLUS INFINITY!
YOU ALL WRITE LIKE GIRLS!
I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO USE MY MORE
MANLY APPROACH.
THIS CAN ALL STOP RIGHT NOW,
SCOUTS.
JUST CONFESS
AND WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO HAVING
FUN--THINGS LIKE JUMPING AND
SKIPPING...
PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING THAT YOU
WOULD HAVE A GOOD TIME DOING
YOU WOULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW.
WELL, SINCE NO ONE HAS DECIDED
TO SPILL THE BEANS AND THERE'S
NO MORE PLACE IN CAMP THAT NEEDS
CLEANING, I HAVE DECIDED TO MOVE
ON TO MY SURE-FIRE TEST--
THE OLD HOLDING TWO BUCKETS
STRAIGHT OUT UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS
ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW TEST.
HA HA HA HA HA.
IT'S NEVER FAILED.
>> MY ARMS ARE STARTING TO HURT.
>> YOU FEEL THAT, SCOUTS?!
LACTIC ACID BUILDING UP IN THOSE
PUNY LITTLE MUSCLES.
IN A FEW MINUTES, YOUR MUSCLES
WILL FALL OFF,
AND THEN WHERE WILL YOU BE,
HUH?!
DON'T WORRY, PUMPKIN.
DADDY HAS EVERYTHING UNDER
CONTROL.
>> SOMEBODY JUST ADMIT IT
ALREADY!
>> HA HA.
>> ENOUGH!
>> WATCH OUT, PUMPKIN.
I'VE ALMOST FOUND HIM.
>> DADDY, THEY HAVEN'T DONE
ANYTHING!
I WROTE THE VALENTINE!
>> WHAT?!
>> FINALLY!
>> YOU ACTUALLY LIKE ONE OF
THESE--THESE BEAN SCOUTS?!
[WHISTLE TOOTS]
WHICH ONE IS IT?
>> I'M NOT TELLING YOU.
>> BUT, PUMPKIN,
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PUNISH THE
BOY IF I DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS?
>> HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING
WRONG, DADDY.
YOU MAY BE ABLE TO PUNISH
SOMEONE FOR STEALING A CAR OR
MONEY, BUT YOU CAN'T PUNISH
SOMEONE FOR STEALING MY HEART.
>> OH, YES, I CAN!
JUST POINT HIM OUT AND I'LL
PROVE IT TO YOU!
>> NO.
>> [GROWLS]
[YELLS]
[GRUNTING]
OK.
YOU WON'T TELL ME.
BUT THIS BOXING RING WILL.
YOU WON'T DARE HIT THE ONE YOU
LIKE.
YOU FIRST, BUTTER-BUNS!
>> AAGH!
DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO BEAT ME
UP?!
>> OH, SORRY.
IT'S EITHER THIS OR THAT.
>> [GROWLING]
>> OK, BUT...
WOULD YOU PLEASE NOT HIT MY GOOD
SIDE?
[GRUNTS]
>> YOU'RE NEXT, YOU BEAVER DUCK
LOVE BOAT!
AAGH!
>> GO EASY, MAN.
>> MOMMY?
>> LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY
ONE LEFT.
THE LOGISTICS OF LOGISTICAL LAWS
OF LOGIC SAYS PATSY WROTE THE
VALENTINE TO YOU!
BUT BECAUSE I'M FAIR AND
WE LIVE IN AMERICA, I'LL GIVE
YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.
>> OOF!
UH...
PATSY,
BEFORE YOU BEAT ME UP,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M OK
WITH YOU BEATING ME UP.
>> LAZLO, I DON'T--
>> IT'S OK.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET IN
TROUBLE WITH YOUR DAD.
I ACCEPT MY FATE FOR YOU, PATSY.
DO IT.
GET IT OVER WITH.
>> [SHUDDERING]
>> I KNEW IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG.
IT'S PUNISH TIME!
[GROWLING]
>> [GASPS]
PLEASE, HELP ME!
MAKE IT MORE CONVINCING!
THAT'S TOO CONVINCING.
>> OH, BUT, PUMPKIN, I WAS SURE
IT WAS HIM.
>> NO, DADDY.
IT WASN'T HIM EITHER.
>> OH, THEN I MUST HAVE MISSED
SOMEBODY.
ROUND EVERYONE UP.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN!
>> WAIT, DAD.
THERE'S SOMETHING I DIDN'T TELL
YOU.
I...
NE...
>> YES?!
>> [STAMMERING]
I MADE IT FOR YOU, DADDY.
>> FOR ME?
THE WHOLE TIME?
NOT FOR ANY OF THESE CRUSTY
LITTLE BOYS?!
HA HA HA HA.
AH HA HA HA HA!
CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK!
>> HA HA HA HA!
NO, A CHIP OFF MINE!
>> THAT'S MY GIRL!
HA HA!
>> THAT'S MY DAD!
>> MY GIRL!
>> I GOT BEAT UP SO BAD,
AND I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!
>> I--OW.
>> WELL, WE DIDN'T GET BEAT UP.
>> YEAH.
>> BUT THAT'S BECAUSE WE'RE MADE
OF MAGIC.
YAH, YAH, YAH, YAH.
YAH-YAH-YAH-YAH-YAH-YAH-YAH!
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--]
>> [YELLING GIBBERISH]
[GROWLING]
[SNIFFING]
[YELLING]
[WHEEZES]