ATTENTION, CAMPERS.
IT'S TIME FOR CAMP LAZLO.
>> ♪ THERE WERE TWO SCOUTS WHO
MADE A FRIEND ♪
♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
♪ L-A-Z-L-O
>> ♪ L
>> ♪ A
>> ♪ Z-L-O
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
>> ♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
>> ♪ AND THEN THAT TRIO WENT TO
CAMP ♪
♪ AND TURNED IT UPSIDE DOWN-O
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
>> Chip: L-A-Z-L-O.
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
>> ♪ YO-DE-LAY-EE
>> Lazlo: MUD!
LAST ONE IN IS A ROTTEN EGG!
>> Edward: MARCO.
>> All: POLO.
>> Edward: MARCO.
>> Clam: POLO.
>> Edward: MARCO!
>> Skip: POLO.
>> Lumpus: WILL YOUPLEASE KEEP
IT DOWN OUT THERE?!
>> Raj: GERONIMO!
>> Lumpus: [ GRUNTS ]
[ INDISTINCT CHATTER ]
DON'T YOU KIDS HAVE ANYTHING
BETTER TO DO THAN FROLIC IN
THE MUCK AROUND HERE?!
>> All: NO.
>> Lumpus: NEH!
DAAH!
>> Lazlo: WOW.
SOMEBODY NEEDS A LITTLE LAZLO IN
THEIR DAY.
I BETTER GO TALK TO HIM.
YOUR DOOR'S OPEN.
LAZLO CALLING.
>> Lumpus: I'M SICK OF IT!
EVERY DAY IS THE SAME!
>> Lazlo: I'M, UH, WALKING UP
YOUR STAIRS NOW.
>> Lumpus: THIS JOB IS NOTHING
BUT BORING.
>> Lazlo: UH, THIS COULD BE
CONSIDERED EAVESDROPPING NOW.
>> Lumpus: THE FOOD STINKS.
THE CAMPERS STINK.
AND FURTHERMORE, IHATE
CAMP KIDNEY!
>> Lazlo: [ LAUGHS ]
HOW COULD ANYONE HATE
CAMP KIDNEY?
>> Lumpus: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN
MY BOUDOIR?
>> Lazlo: I THOUGHT THIS WAS
YOUR BEDROOM.
>> Lumpus: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
>> Lazlo: I'VE COME TO CHEER YOU
UP.
[ SINGING ]
HOW AM I DOING?
>> Slinkman: UH, I'LL BE
DOWNSTAIRS, SIR.
>> Lumpus: YOU WANT TO HEAR WHY
I HATE CAMP KIDNEY, BOY?
>> Lazlo: SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
>> Lumpus: YOU SEE THIS PILE OF
BILLS?
WELL, I GOTTA TAKE CARE OF THEM.
>> Lazlo: SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
>> Slinkman: ACTUALLY, SIR,I DO
THE BILLING.
>> Lumpus: YEAH, WELL, I HAVE TO
ORGANIZE THE BILLS.
>> Slinkman: NO, SIR.
I DO THAT, TOO.
>> Lazlo: SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
>> Lumpus: I'LL SHOW YOU SOME
FUN!
I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS BOOK
SINCE I GOT TO THIS NIGHTMARE OF
A CAMP.
IT'S CALLED "WHY I HATE
CAMP KIDNEY."
CHAPTER ONE -- "LICE, PINKEYE,
AND WHING."
"THE BEAN SCOUTS ARRIVE..."
CHAPTER 12 -- "MY CABIN."
"A PILE OF STICKS, A COUPLE OF
RUGS -- THE MUSTY TOMB WHERE I
LAY MY WEARY HEAD."
>> Lazlo: SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
>> Lumpus: CHAPTER 72 -- "CAMP
FOOD."
"TASTELESS..."
>> Lazlo: YOU'RE RIGHT.
I HATE CAMP KIDNEY.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> Raj: HERE COMES LAZLO.
HE WILL LOVE THIS.
>> Clam: DO SOUND EFFECT.
>> Raj: [ SQUISHING ]
[ LAUGHS ]
UM...LAZ?
THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST SOUND I
HAVE MADE ALL SUMMER.
WHAT IS WRONG?
>> Lazlo: LUMPUS IS RIGHT.
THEREARE NO MORE LAUGHS AT
CAMP KIDNEY.
EH.
TURN OFF THE LIGHT, WOULD YA,
KID?
>> Raj: YEESH.
THIS IS NOT A FUN, NEW GAME.
>> Slinkman: GOOD MORNING,
CAMPERS.
WELL, WE'VE OFFICIALLY RUN OUT
OF ACTIVITIES.
IF ANYONE HAS ANY IDEAS, LET ME
KNOW IMMEDIATELY.
THANK YOU.
>> Lumpus: [ SCOFFS ]
TYPICAL.
GOOD LUCK, SLINKMAN.
>> Lazlo: [ COUGHING, GAGGING ]
>> Lumpus: NOW, WHERE DIDYOU
COME FROM?!
SHOULDN'T YOU BE DOING ONE OF
YOURSTUPID ACTIVITIES OR
LIFTING SOMEONE'S SPIRITS OR
SOMETHING?
>> Lazlo: WHY BOTHER?
CAMP STINKS.
FROM NOW ON, I'M WITH YOU.
>> Lumpus: WHATEVER.
SUIT YOURSELF.
>> ALL: ♪ ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR
BOAT, GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM ♪
>> Lumpus: LOOK AT THESE CLOWNS.
>> ALL: ♪ MERRILY, MERRILY,
MERRILY, MERRILY ♪
♪ LIFE IS BUT A DREAM
>> Lazlo: CHEER UP, WHY DON'T
YA?
>> Lumpus: YEAH, CHEER UP.
>> Lazlo: CHECK OUT THIS PIECE
OF WORK.
>> Lumpus: HEY!
WHY THE LONG FACE?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> Lazlo: GOOD ONE.
>> Lumpus: MOVE ALONG.
>> [ SOBBING ]
>> Edward: [ WHISTLING ]
>> Lazlo: WATCH THIS.
DOOFUS SAYS "WHAT."
>> Edward: WHAT?
AAAH!
REAL MATURE, LAZLO.
>> Lumpus: [ CHUCKLES ]
GOOD ONE.
HA HA.
>> Lazlo: YUCK.
THIS SODA'S FLAT.
>> Lumpus: WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
>> Lazlo: YOU MIND?
YOU'RE BLOCKING MY SUN.
>> Raj: ARE YOU COMING TO PLAY
"GUESS THAT SMELL" WITH US?
>> Lazlo: ARE YOU KIDDING?
NO GAMES ARE GONNA MAKE THIS
CAMP ANY MORE FUN.
I'M GONNA WAIT OUT THIS TIRESOME
SUMMER WITH THIS GUY.
>> Both: O-KAY.
>> Raj: VERY STRANGE.
[ INDISTINCT CHATTER ]
>> Skip: I DECLARE THIS PIE THE
BEST PIE EVER.
>> Chip: INDUBITABLY.
>> Lumpus: McMUESLI, DON'T MAKE
ME WAIT FOR MY SECOND CUP OF
DECAF.
>> COMING RIGHT UP.
>> Lazlo: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
>> Raj: LAZLO, WHAT IS
HAPPENING DOWN HERE?
YOU DON'T WANT ANY PIE, YET
YOU'RE GOING TO DRINK THAT
DISGUSTING BEAN JUICE?
BUT YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE COFFEE.
>> CREAM OR SUGAR?
>> Lazlo: NAH.
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
>> Raj: SEE? I TOLD YOU.
NOW, COME ON.
>> Lazlo: TOO HOT.
>> Lumpus: TOO HOT.
SLINKY.
BLOW ON IT, WOULD YA?
I ALMOST BURNED MY WITTLE
MOUTHY.
>> Slinkman: OH, YES, SIR.
>> Lumpus: YOU COOLED HIS FIRST!
I'M THE ONE WHO ASKED FOR HELP!
>> Lazlo: THAT'S A GOOD CUP OF
COFFEE.
>> Raj: VERY WEIRD.
>> Lumpus: HA!
SLINKMAN BLOWS ONHIS COFFEE
BEFORE MINE?
THAT KID IS STARTING TO CRAMP MY
STYLE.
>> GOOD NIGHT, MR. LUMPUS.
>> Lazlo: WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT
IT?
>> Lumpus: HUH.
I'M STARTING TO HEAR THINGS.
>> Lazlo: WAIT A MINUTE.
>> Lumpus: HUH?
>> Lazlo: I'M TOO LAZY TO WALK
BACK TO MY CABIN.
[ CLUNK ]
>> Lumpus: YEAH, WE HAD A NICE
LAZY DAY TOGETHER, BUT COME
ON --
>> Lazlo: WOULD YOU PLEASE CARRY
ME?
>> Lumpus: ♪ WHEN THE BOUGH
BREAKS, THE CRADLE WILL FALL ♪
♪ AND OFF GOES THE BABY
OUT OF MY LIFE!
[ GLASS BREAKS ]
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
>> Lazlo: THERE'S NOTHING TO DO
AROUND HERE.
BORING. BORING.
SLINKMAN, HELP ME OUT HERE.
>> Lumpus: SLINKMAN'S BUSY.
ALLOWME TO HELP YOU OUT.
[ CLUNK ]
HUH!
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
YAWN.
[ MUTTERING ]
>> Lazlo: WOW.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
TRIMMED YOUR TOENAILS?
SCRATCHY.
>> Lumpus: AAH!
YOU!
[ GRUNTS ]
[ MUTTERING ]
>> Raj: CLAM?
>> Clam: YEAH?
>> Raj: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITHOUT LAZLO'S OVERLY
OPTIMISTIC SUGGESTIONS.
>> Clam: LOST.
>> Raj: YES.
VERY LOST.
>> Lumpus: HEY!
YOU TWO ARE FRIENDS WITH THAT
MONKEY THING, AREN'T YA?
>> Both: YES.
>> Lumpus: NOW HE'S DRIVING ME
NUTS.
HE'S CRANKY, HE'S SELFISH,AND
HE'S LAZY.
AND I LIKE TO BE THE ONLY GUY
LIKE THAT AROUND HERE.
YOU GOTTA HELP ME GET HIM BACK
TO THE WAY HE WAS!
>> Raj: DID YOU HEAR THAT?
SOMEONE IS GIVING US AN
OPTIMISTIC SUGGESTION.
>> Clam: SAVED.
>> Raj: LAZLO JUST SEEMS TO HAVE
FORGOTTEN WHAT FUN IS ABOUT AT
CAMP KIDNEY.
I HAVE A PLAN.
[ ROOSTER CROWS ]
>> Lumpus: WHY, GOOD MORNING,
SCOUTS.
WHAT SORT OF FUN ARE WE UP TO
TODAY?
>> Raj: WE ARE PLAYING ONE OF
LAZLO'S FAVORITE GAMES --
"IMAGINARY CAB DRIVER."
>> Lazlo: BORING.
>> Lumpus: SOUNDS CHARMING.
LET'S PLAY.
LAZLO, ISN'T THIS FUN?
WE'RE RIDING IN A CAB AROUND
CAMP KIDNEY.
>> Both: LONDON.
>> Lumpus: AH, YES.
JOLLY OLD LONDON.
LOOK, THERE'S BUCKINGHAM PALACE.
>> Raj: BONG. BONG.
>> Lazlo: NO.
THOSE ARE THE STINKY, OLD
LATRINES IN STINKY, OLD
CAMP KIDNEY.
>> Lumpus: This isn't working.
>> Raj: I have other ideas.
>> Clam: BEEP, BEEP!
>> Raj: LAZLO.
HERE'S ANOTHER GAME I KNOW YOU
LOVE.
WALK AROUND THE CABIN WITHOUT
TOUCHING THE FLOOR.
>> Clam: NO TOUCHING.
>> Lumpus: WELL, THAT LOOKS
LIKE LOADS OF FUN.
COME ON, KID.
THIS'LL BE GREAT.
HE HE HA.
>> Raj: WHEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!
>> Lumpus: LOOK, LAZLO, I'M
HAVING FUN.
UH-OH.
[ THUD ]
>> Lazlo: GUYS, I NEED A
10-LETTER WORD FOR "SNOOZE
TOWN."
OH, I KNOW -- "CAMP KIDNEY."
>> Raj: HOT-DOG BADMINTON?
>> Lazlo: PLEASE.
>> Clam: DANCE CONTEST?
>> Lazlo: [ SNORING ]
>> Raj: NAME THAT TREE.
>> Clam: SURELY.
>> Lazlo: YOU GUYS JUST DON'T
GET IT.
LUMPUS HAS SHOWN ME THE LIGHT.
THIS PLACE STINKS.
>> Lumpus: ARE WE REALLY THAT
BORING?
>> Raj: [ SIGHS ]
>> Clam: STICKS IN THE MUD.
>> Raj: THAT'S IT!
>> Clam: YEP.
STICKS IN THE MUD.
>> Raj: NO.
I'VE GOT A PLAN IKNOW WILL
WORK.
[ Singsong voice ] OH, LAZZIE.
WE'RE MAKING MUD.
>> Lumpus: EH.
HA HA.
THIS IS SUCH A TREAT.
HEE.
SWIMMING IN A HOLE FULL OF MUD.
[ SPLASH ]
>> Clam: WHEE!
STROKE, STROKE, STROKE.
>> Raj: [ LAUGHS ]
WHAT FUN!
>> Lumpus: YUCK.
>> Clam: FUN!
>> Lazlo: YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
>> Lumpus: THIS IS NEVER GONNA
WORK.
NOTHING IN THIS CAMP IS THAT
STINKING FUN.
AND NOTHING WILL MAKE ME JUMP --
NO!
>> Raj: HA HA!
>> Clam: OUTTA HERE.
>> Lumpus: [ GRUNTING ]
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Raj: [ LAUGHS ]
>> Lumpus: RIGHT BACK AT YOU,
KIDDO.
>> Raj: [ LAUGHS ]
>> Lumpus: AND IT'S GOOD FOR MY
SKIN.
I'LL TELL THE WHOLE WORLD THIS
PLACE IS --
OH, I'LL JUST SAY IT.
ILOVE CAMP KIDNEY!
>> Lazlo: HA!
I GOT YA!
I KNEW YOU LOVED CAMP KIDNEY.
I KNEW IT ALL ALONG.
[ SPLASH ]
>> Lumpus: [ LAUGHS ]
MARCO.
>> Clam: POLO.
>> Raj: YOU WERE FAKING BEING
GRUMPY THE WHOLE TIME?
YOU ARE CRAZY, DUDE!
>> Lazlo: YOU KNOW ME.
I COULD NEVER HATE THIS PLACE.
>> Lumpus: HERE COMES A LUMPUS
CANNONBALL!
>> Slinkman: DO YOU MIND?
SOME OF US HAVE WORK TO DO, YA
KNOW.
>> Lumpus: HERE'S MUD IN YOUR
EYE, SLINKY!
>> Slinkman: OW!
>> Lumpus: [ LAUGHS ]
HERE'S THE MAIL
SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS.
>> Lumpus: EH, THE RELENTLESS,
RELENTLESS MAIL JUST KEEPS ON
COMING.
EH, WHAT'S THIS?
CARE PACKAGE FOR EDWARD, HUH?
[ SNIFFS ]
WELL, IT'S MY DUTY TO INSPECT
THIS.
JUST AS I SUSPECTED -- SWEETS.
>> Lazlo: AND SWEETS AREN'T
ALLOWED AT CAMP KIDNEY, ARE
THEY?
>> Lumpus: NOPE.
GOT TO CONFISCATE IT.
HEAVEN FORBID WE HAVE ANY FUN
HERE.