ATTENTION, CAMPERS.
IT'S TIME FOR CAMP LAZLO.
>> ♪ THERE WERE TWO SCOUTS WHO
MADE A FRIEND ♪
♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
♪ L-A-Z-L-O
>> ♪ L
>> ♪ A
>> ♪ Z-L-O
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
>> ♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
>> ♪ AND THEN THAT TRIO WENT TO
CAMP ♪
♪ AND TURNED IT UPSIDE DOWN-O
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
>> Chip: L-A-Z-L-O.
>> ♪ L-A-Z-L-O
♪ AND LAZLO WAS HIS NAME-O
>> ♪ YO-DE-LAY-EE
[ GLASS BREAKING ]
>> Lumpus: I HAD A DREAM, DOC.
I DREAMT I WAS A SEVERED HEAD
FLOATING IN A LIQUID VOID,
WAITING FOR THE SUMMER TO END,
WHEN SUDDENLY, I REALIZED I'M IN
A WASHING MACHINE, DRIFTING IN
THE SPIN CYCLE.
ROUND AND ROUND, DOCTOR,
ENDLESSLY.
AND IF THAT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH,
THE SCOUTS JOIN IN, EXCEPT
THEY'RE ALL SEVERED HEADS, TOO.
WE ARE AIMLESS, WITH NOTHING TO
DO BUT FLOAT.
I WANT TO YAWN, BUT I CAN'T DO
THAT [YAWNS] THING WITH MY HAND
BECAUSE I'M A SEVERED HEAD!
DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
>> NO.
>> Lumpus: I'M BORED!
AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A DOCTOR!
>> NO, ACTUALLY, I DON'T.
>> Lumpus: NOBODY DOES ANYTHING
EXCITING ANYMORE.
LOOK AT THESE KIDS.
THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING.
[ FARTING ]
LOOK OUT THERE.
THIS CAMP IS ALL PLAYED OUT.
THE BUS IS UP ON BLOCKS.
THE KIDS SLEEP ALL DAY.
BORING!
BORING, BORING.
THIS CAMP IS BORING.
I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW --
>> Skip: HEY, LOOK AT THAT.
>> Edward: YEAH, WHATEVER.
>> Lumpus: HMM.
WHAT YOU BOYS UP TO?
>> Edward: LOOKING AT THIS
JELLYFISH HERE THAT WASHED UP ON
SHORE.
>> Lumpus: OOH, A JELLYFISH?
WHATCHA GONNA DO?
>> Edward: I'M GONNA DO LAUNDRY.
>> Skip: WE'LL HELP YOU FOLD.
>> Lumpus: WHAT IS WRONG WITH
YOU?
IT'S A JELLYFISH!
>> All: SO?
>> Lumpus: SO, KICK IT, TOUCH
IT, POKE IT WITH A STICK.
TAKE A RISK.
>> Edward: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THAT'S A FRESHWATER JELIUS
OUCHUS.
ONE TOUCH, AND IT FRIES YOUR
BRAIN.
>> Lumpus: TOUCH IT!
TOUCH IT, TOUCH IT.
WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU
TOUCH IT?
>> HEY, WHATCHA DOING, GIVING
MONEY AWAY?
>> Edward: NAH.
LUMPUS IS TRYING TO GET US TO
TOUCH THIS DEADLY JELLYFISH.
>> Lumpus: AH, YOU DON'T KNOW
IT'S DEADLY TILL YOU TOUCH IT.
WHY DON'T YOU TOUCH IT?
YOU'RE A GUINEA PIG, AIN'T YA?
>> UM, NO THANKS.
>> Lumpus: TOUCH IT!
>> Edward: SAMSON WON'T TOUCH
IT.
>> Chip: HE NEVER TAKES RISKS.
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I HAVEN'T CHANGED MY UNDERWEAR
SINCE THIS MORNING.
>> All: SO WHAT?
>> Chip: SAMSON'S BORING.
>> Skip: YEAH, WITH A CAPITAL
"Z."
>> Lumpus: [ MUTTERING ]
>> NOT AFRAID TO TOUCH IT.
>> Lumpus: [ MUTTERING ]
>> YOU WANT ME TO TOUCH IT?
I'LL TOUCH IT!
>> Lumpus: YEAH, YOU CAN DO IT.
>> [ SHOUTING ]
>> Lumpus: WHOO!
YOU ARE A CRAZY MAN!
>> Edward: SAMSON, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> YEAH, LET'S DO THAT AGAIN.
>> Edward: I KNEW IT.
HIS BRAIN IS FRIED.
>> PEANUT BUTTER SHORTCAKE!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Lumpus: YOU KNOW, SAMSON --
>> CRAZY!
>> Lumpus: OKAY, CRAZY, THIS
DEAD-END CAMP WAS BORING THE
LIFE OUT OF ME, AND THEN YOU PUT
THAT JELLYFISH ON YOUR HEAD.
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> Lumpus: LET'S DO MORE CRAZY
STUFF.
>> CRAZY STUFF!
>> Lumpus: FIRST, WE'LL
SHORT-SHEET LAZLO'S BED.
THEN WE'LL EAT SOME ASPARAGUS
AND MAKE OUR WEE SMELL FUNNY.
>> CRAZY!
>> Lumpus: AND THAT'S JUST THE
BEGINNING.
LET'S RIDE!
[ HORSE WHINNIES ]
>> WHOA!
>> Lumpus: WHOO! [ LAUGHS ]
>> Edward: WOW, NOW, THAT WAS
FREAKY.
LAUNDRY, ANYONE?
>> Skip: I GOT TIGHTY WHITEYS
THAT AREN'T SO WHITE ANYMORE.
>> Raj: [ HUMMING ]
AHHH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> CRAZY!
>> Skip: AHHHHH!
>> Lumpus: HEY, YOU WANT SOME
PUDDING?
SORRY, ALL OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SO, THE BIG QUESTION ON
EVERYONE'S MIND IS WHAT OR WHO
IS TERRORIZING PRICKLY PINES
WITH CRAZY SHENANIGANS?
>> SO, MA'AM, YOU CLIMBED INTO
YOUR TUB THIS MORNING AND FOUND
WHAT?
>> CHOCOLATE PUDDING.
IT WAS AWFUL.
THAT'S NO SMELL FOR A WOMAN.
[ FARTS ]
>> THIS REPORTER COULDN'T AGREE
MORE.
>> Lumpus: [ LAUGHING ]
>> CRAZY!
WE'RE CRAZY!
>> Lumpus: HEY, WHAT GIVES?
>> Slinkman: I'VE BEEN GETTING
COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOU TWO FROM
ALL OVER.
I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU
BOTH.
>> Lumpus: OOH.
>> DISAPPOINTED!
>> Lumpus: SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY
NEEDS SOME PUDDING.
>> PEANUT BUTTER!
CRAZY!
>> Slinkman: NOW, THAT IS IT!
YOU'RE DONE.
GO TO YOUR ROOM, ALGONQUIN.
>> Lumpus: BUT --
>> Slinkman: GO TAKE A NAP AND
CALM DOWN.
NOW!
>> RIDE 'EM, SHERIFF!
[ SQUEALING ]
>> Slinkman: AND YOU'RE IN BIG
TROUBLE, YOUNG MAN.
>> COCO GOODNESS!
>> Lumpus: HMPH!
SEND ME TO MY ROOM LIKE A
THUMB-SUCKING CHILD.
[ ALARM RINGS ]
HUH? AAH!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
CRAZY!
>> Lumpus: NOW, THAT IS NOT
FUNNY.
YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE.
AHHH!
SLINKY?
>> CRAZY!
>> Lumpus: I'M COMING, SLINKY.
>> Slinkman: THAT WAS NOT FUNNY.
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> Lumpus: YOU WERE FUN WHEN YOU
WERE CRAZY, BUT NOW YOU'RE JUST
CRAZY.
>> CRAZY!
>> Lumpus: IN THE DREAM, I'M A
PARTY BALLOON, AND THE PARTY IS
OVER.
MY STRING BREAKS.
I'M DRIFTING, DIRECTIONLESS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS?
>> UH...
>> Lumpus: OH, COME ON!
WHAT KIND OF CHARLATAN ARE YOU?!
>> Slinkman: PHONE CALL, SIR.
>> Lumpus: EXCUSE ME, DOC.
GOT TO TAKE THIS.
>> Lumpus: BORING, BORING.
>> Slinkman: SOUNDS LIKE AN
URGENT CALL, SIR.
>> Lumpus: BOR, BOR, BOR,
BORING!
LUMPUS, ALGONQUIN C., HERE.
OOH, AM I TO ASSUME THAT YOU
ASSUME HE'S AT THIS CAMP?
UH, HOLD, PLEASE.
HEY, SLINKY, YOU KNOW ANYONE
AROUND HERE CALLED SAMSON?
>> Slinkman: SAMSON IS THAT
CAMPER YOU'VE BEEN HAVING THE
TIME OF YOUR LIFE WITH, SIR.
THAT CAMPER WITH THE JELLYFISH
ON HIS HEAD.
>> Lumpus: OH.
YOU WISH TO SPEAK TO HIM, EH?
YEAH, WELL, THERE'S RULES AROUND
HERE, LADY.
CAMPERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO GET
ON THE HORN.
SINCE WHEN?
SINCE JUST NOW.
OH, YEAH?
WHY DON'T YOU COME ON DOWN HERE?
OH, YOU DON'T LIKE THAT, EH?
WELL, I DON'T GIVE A --
WELL, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU, TOO,
MISSY!
OKAY, OKAY, SURE.
HOW FAST CAN YOU GET HERE?
OH, 10 MINUTES AWAY, HUH?
GOOD! ASK FOR THE MOOSE!
[ LAUGHS ]
SAY, WHO DO YOU THINK THAT WAS,
ANYWAY?
>> Slinkman: THAT WAS SAMSON'S
PARENTS, SIR.
>> Lumpus: [ STUTTERING ]
AAAH!
>> Slinkman: SIR, WE CAN'T
RETURN SAMSON TO HIS PARENTS THE
WAY HE IS.
>> Lumpus: WE CAN'T?
>> [ LAUGHING ]
I'M CRAZY! I'M CRAZY!
>> Lumpus: DO YOU THINK THEY'LL
NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE?
>> Slinkman: YOU MADE HIM THIS
WAY FOR YOUR OWN ENJOYMENT.
IT'S YOUR JOB TO CHANGE HIM
BACK.
>> Lumpus: HEY, JELLYHEAD?
YOUR PARENTS ARE COMING, SO HIGH
TIME TO TAKE THE JELLYFISH OFF
OF YOUR HEAD AND GO BACK TO YOUR
NORMAL SELF.
>> [ BARKING ]
[ LAUGHING ]
>> Lumpus: AH HA HA, YEAH.
COME ON, YOU HEARD ME.
TAKE IT OFF.
>> STINKWAD.
>> Lumpus: WHAT DID YOU CALL
ME?!
WHY, YOU -- ALL RIGHT.
NOW, TAKE IT OFF -- AAAHH!
>> [ LAUGHING ]
TOASTED.
>> Lumpus: COME BACK HERE, YOU
RENEGADE!
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
[ GRUNTING ]
PLEASE, SAMSON?
YOUR PARENTS ARE COMING.
YOU GOT TO TAKE THAT THING OFF
YOUR HEAD.
>> ♪ LA LA LA LA DING DONG
♪ BACKA-DACKA DING DONG
>> Lumpus: YOU LEAVE ME NO
CHOICE.
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BECOME
SAMSON, I'LL SPIN-CYCLE YOU TILL
YOU'RE BORING AGAIN.
>> CRAZY MAN.
I LIKE IT!
>> Slinkman: UH, SCOUTMASTER,
SAMSON'S PARENTS ARE DRIVING
THROUGH THE GATE.
SIR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH
THAT WASHING MACHINE?
>> Lumpus: QUICK, SLINKMAN, GET
ME A BLACK CRAYON AND A PAPER
BAG.
>> Chip: UH-OH.
HERE COMES SAMSON'S PARENTS.
>> Edward: LUMPUS IS IN FOR IT
NOW.
>> Lumpus: MOVE OUT OF MY WAY.
COMING THROUGH, COMING THROUGH.
SAD, NONCRAZY SAMSON WANTS TO
SEE HIS PARENTS.
>> Edward: HE'S GOT TO BE
KIDDING.
>> Lumpus: HOWDY, PARENTS.
WELCOME TO KID CAMPNEY -- CAMP
NIDKEY.
[ BABBLING ]
HERE'S YOUR SON, ALL SAFE...
>> SAMSON?
WHAT HAS CAMP DONE TO YOU, SON?
[ GASPS ]
JIMMY!
>> STANLEY!
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY
SON'S HEAD?
>> THIS IS YOUR SON?
I'LL BE DARNED.
HELP ME DOWN.
>> LOOK, GRACE.
IT'S JIMMY.
>> WHAT HAPPENED?
I HAVE GOT THE WORST HEADACHE.
>> Lumpus: I'M NOT QUITE SURE.
>> SAMSON, MY SON.
>> HI, MOM.
>> COME HERE AND GIVE YOUR MAMA
A HUG.
>> YOU GUYS SHOULD PULL YOUR SON
OUT OF THIS CAMP.
THIS SCOUTMASTER AIN'T THE
SHARPEST SUSHI KNIFE IN THE
DRAWER, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
>> LET'S GO, SON.
>> HEY, STANLEY, CAN YOU DROP ME
OFF ON THE NORTH SHORE?
>> SURE.
>> WELL, SCOUTMASTER, I'M NOT
SURE WHAT HAPPENED TODAY, BUT
EXCEPT FOR AN ODD TASTE OF
CHOCOLATE PUDDING IN MY MOUTH, I
HAVE NO RECOLLECTION.
>> Lumpus: SAMSON, MY BOY, ALL
YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT YOU ARE
NOT A SEVERED HEAD.
>> OKAY.
>> COME ON, SAMSON.
>> COMING.
>> Slinkman: SAMSON?
>> YEAH?
>> Slinkman: GOOD LUCK, SOLDIER.
>> OKAY.
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
>> LET'S PLAY PATTY-CAKE.
>> NO, NO!
AAH!
>> PATTY-CAKE, BAKER'S MAN.
>> AAHH!
>> Raj: HELLO? IS THIS THE REQUEST LINE?
>> Raj: SPEAK UP, SIR.
>> I HAVE A REQUEST.
>> Raj: CALLER, I CAN'T HEAR
YOU.
>> I SAID I HAVE A REQUEST!
>> Raj: HA HA!
THANK YOU, CALLER.
DUE TO THE RECENT RASH OF
HUGGING, WE CAN NO LONGER TAKE
REQUESTS.
>> Lazlo: ♪ B-I-N-G-O
♪ AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O