- SIMPLY UNBELIEVABLE!
THE STEALING AND THE TAKING
AND THE BRIBING--THE BRIBING!
OH, THAT 'BOUT BIT THE BONE OFF THE SPOON!
WHY, I SHOULD HAVE--
HELLO, WILT.
AND I WOULD IF I COULD!
BUT NOTHING DOING, NO WAY, NO HOW.
LOUSY CASSEROLE DISH WITH ONIONS ON TOP!
DOWNRIGHT NASTY, I SAY.
HOLA, EDUARDO.
HAVEN'T THE PLUCK TO PLUCK UP MY CHICKENS!
THAT'S WHAT I CALL THE SAUCE!
COCO, COCO.
AND NOW I'M IN A BIND LIKE A PACKAGE ON MOVING DAY!
AFTERNOON, MAC, BLOO.
ALL 'CAUSE OF HER!
ALWAYS THE SAME!
MASSACRING WHAT'S MINE LIKE A MISSISSIPPI CHAINSAW!
MY GREEN AGGIE, MY LUNCH PAIL,
MY PROM DATE!
BUT THIS--TAKING A LADY'S TEAMMATES!
SNATCHING 'EM UP BEFORE THE FINAL BELL
RIGHT BEFORE THE LAST GAME--
OUTRAGEOUS!
THE GALL! THE GUMPTION!
THE NERVE!
THAT BACK-SCRATCHING, BUTTER NECK JERKINS!
- MADAM FOSTER!
- WHAT?!
OH, MY! WAS I TALKING OUT LOUD?
- SI. VERY LOUD.
- SORRY.
I THOUGHT THOSE WERE MY INNER THOUGHTS.
OOPS! HA HA HA!
SEEMS MY INNIE BECAME AN OUTIE.
- WOW, MADAM FOSTER.
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU SO BENT OUT OF SHAPE.
- I KNOW.
USUALLY I'M SO SWEET, QUIRKY, AND ADORABLE.
BUT, DAG NAB IT, I'M MADDER THAN A WET CAT ON WASHING DAY!
- OOH, THAT'S MAD!
- SHE'S SKIMMING CREAM OFF THE TOP,
AND THEY'RE DRINKING IT UP LIKE A CAMEL TO SAND.
THAT JERKINS IS A CRAFTY ONE--LITERALLY--
FLAUNTING HER HAND-MADE DOILIES THIS WAY AND THAT,
TAKING MY GIRLS BEFORE THE FINAL BEAT.
NO-GOOD DOILY-GIVING BRIBERY!
- HOLD UP, MADAM FOSTER.
LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS.
YOU AND THIS JERKINS LADY HAVE HAD A VICIOUS RIVALRY
EVERY SINCE YOU WERE KIDS WHEN SHE STOLE YOUR LUNCHBOX
AND YOUR BOYFRIEND--
- AND MY MARBLES.
- CLEARLY.
AND NOW SHE'S STOLEN YOUR BOWLING TEAM
BEFORE THE FINAL GAME OF THE TOURNAMENT
BY BRIBING THEM WITH DOILIES.
- WHAT? AM I SPEAKING FRENCH HERE?!
SHE STOLE 'EM, AND NOW WHERE AM I?
I'M DONE. THAT'S IT.
THAT'S ALL.
GOOD NIGHT, NURSE.
- WHAT ABOUT US?
- WHAT ABOUT YOU?
- ME, WILT, COCO, ED, AND BLOO.
WE COULD BE YOUR TEAMMATES FOR THE FINAL GAME.
- [CHEERING]
- REALLY?!
YOU'D DO THAT?
- GLAD TO DO IT.
RIGHT, BLOO? - WHAT?
- WE'LL BE MADAM FOSTER'S NEW BOWLING TEAM.
- NOT ME. - WHY NOT?
- BOWLING STINKS.
- DOES NOT.
- DOES, TOO. IT'S WEAK.
- THIS FROM THE WHIZ KID.
- [STRAINING]
HEY, THIS IS TOUGH.
BUT BOWLING? HA!
BARELY A SPORT--
LIKE CAVE PEOPLE THROWING ROCKS AT STICKS!
- FINE! YOU'RE OUT!
- BUT STILL-- - NOPE!
NO WAY! - WHY?!
- WELL, ACTUALLY, I ONLY NEED 4 OF YOU.
HA. COME ON, TIME'S A-WASTING.
- COME ON, BLOO.
- WHY AM I GOING?
- WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT TO DO?
- I GOT THIS.
- TALK ABOUT WEAK.
- I DID IT!
I WON!
- I HATED TO DO IT,
BUT THE HANDIWORK ON THIS DOILY IS REMARKABLE.
- AND THEY'RE SO VERSATILE.
- CAN'T WAIT TO PUT THIS BABY IN MY POWDER ROOM!
- SHIRLEY!
TURN UP YOUR EARS!
- WHAT?!
[ALL GASP]
["CHARIOTS OF FIRE"-LIKE MUSIC PLAYING]
- HA HA!
DID IT! SHOWED YA!
TAKE THAT!
PTHBBBB!
- WHAT IS THIS, FOSTER?!
- MY NEW TEAM, JERKINS!
- LOOKS LIKE YOU DRAGGED THESE RIGHT OUT OF THE GUTTER.
- NAH, 'CAUSE I WOULD HAVE SEEN YOU THERE!
- [LAUGHTER]
- GOOD ONE!
- YEAH, THAT WAS GOOD!
- OH, YEAH?
WELL, IF YOU'RE OFFERING UP THIS RAG-TAG TEAM
TO ROLL IN THE FINALS,
Y'ALL BETTER BRING IT!
- OH, IT'S ALREADY BRUNG, SISTER!
COME ON, TEAM, LET'S SHOE UP!
- OOOH!
QUARTER? GIMME A QUARTER!
- WHAT? - QUARTER, QUARTER, QUARTER!
- ALL RIGHT, MAN. CHILL OUT.
YOU'RE WELCOME!
AWESOME!
- SHOE, PLEASE.
- HUH?
- TO GET YOUR SHOES, YOU GOTTA GIVE A SHOE.
- OH. OH, YEAH. RIGHT.
- SHOE, PLEASE.
- COCO.
- SHOE, PLEASE.
- COCO.
- SHOE, PLEASE. - COCO.
- SHOE-- - YEAH, SHE DOESN'T WEAR SHOES.
- NO SHOE, NO SHOES.
- YEAH, BUT-- - NO SHOE, NO SHOES.
- I--I KNOW, BUT-- - NO SHOE, NO SHOES.
- COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
MAN!
AW, NUTS!
QUARTER, QUARTER, QUARTER!
- I GAVE YOU A QUARTER.
- ANOTHER QUARTER! COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
GIVE ME WHAT YOU GOT!
- HERE, TAKE 'EM!
- YES! - YOU'RE WELCOME!
- WILT, SWEETIE, LET'S GO.
- THIS GUY LOOKS GOOD.
OR NOT.
- NOW, WILT, HONEY,
I SURE APPRECIATE THE SPIT AND POLISH,
BUT THIS IS NOT BASKETBALL!
- SORRY. OK.
- PTHBBB!
BEGINNER'S LUCK, I SAY.
- YEAH, BUT MY BEGINNER'S A WINNER.
SEE, MAC,
WE DIDN'T NEED THE LITTLE BLUE RAIN CLOUD ANYHOW.
- TO THE RIGHT, TO THE LEFT.
YES, NO! YES.
NO.
JUST RIGHT THERE.
NO!
BRING ME THE MAGIC, O SHINY EAGLE.
YES!
- EDUARDO, STOP BEING SUCH A WIMP!
- NO!
TOO NOISY!
TOO SCARY!
- OH, I'M SORRY, EDDIE.
I JUST MEAN...
STOP BEING SUCH A WIMP!
- MADAM FOSTER, VOLUME.
- WHAT?!
OH, HA HA HA. SORRY.
- IT'S OK, EDUARDO.
DON'T MAKE IT BANG.
JUST LET IT DOWN EASY.
NOW, GIVE IT A PUSH.
- IT'S A CREEPER.
- OH. THAT'S NO SO BAD.
- NOT SO BAD?!
COCO, YOU'RE UP!
- HA. RIGGED.
COME ON, GEORGIE.
- NOW WE'RE COOKING WITH FIRE.
ALL RIGHTY,
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT, GRAND MASTER MAC.
THIS KID IS THE MASTERMIND BEHIND THIS WHOLE TEAM.
WHAT?!
- [LAUGHING]
- THAT'S YOUR MASTERMIND?
BRILLIANT!
- HEY, THAT WAS MY FIRST TIME.
I'LL GET IT ON THE REBOUND.
- PICK UP, MAC. PICK UP.
- PICK UP WHAT?
- OH, NEVER MIND, DEARIE.
JUST BOWL.
WHAT?!
WHY, THAT'S VERY GOOD, MAC.
ONLY ONE PROBLEM:
YOU STINK!
- BUT-- - THE REST OF YOU BETTER PONY UP TO THE PLATE
TO MAKE UP FOR THIS ROTTEN APPLE.
- PLEASE?
I'VE GIVEN YOU WHAT YOU WANT.
NOW, HELP ME GET WHAT I WANT.
YOU WOULDN'T MISS THAT PADDLEBALL ANYHOW.
AND YOU WOULD KNOW IT WAS GOING TO GOOD HOME--
TO SOMEONE WHO WOULD SHELTER IT,
LOVE IT, PADDLE IT.
SO, COME ON!
LET'S WORK TOGETHER HERE SO THAT EVERYONE CAN BE HAPPY.
THIS GAME IS A DORK!
- THE 7-10.
NICE!
- WHOO-HOO!
KICKIN' UP THE BEDPOSTS!
- I'M SLAMMIN' IT TONIGHT!
[CHEERING]
- GETTING NERVOUS THERE, JERKINS?
SHAKING IN YOUR ORTHOPEDIC BOOTS?
- YEAH, NOT SO MUCH.
- UGH!
- BOO! - AAGH!
- [LAUGHING]
- HA HA HA, YOU BIG MEANIES!
- [LAUGHING]
- HEY, FOSTER,
MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME
FROM FOSTER'S FIGHTERS TO FOSTER'S FLATULENCE
SINCE YOU STINK!
- [WHISTLES]
MAC? - YEAH?
- I GOT SOME ADVICE FOR YOU. - ANYTHING.
- YOU SEE THIS BALL? - YEAH.
- I NEED YOU TO TAKE IT... - YEAH?
- AND HIT SOME GALL-DARNED PINS!
- [SIGHS]
- QUARTER! - NOT NOW.
- QUARTER. - HOLD ON.
- QUARTER. - JUST A MINUTE.
- QUARTER, QUARTER, QUARTER, QUARTER, QUARTER!
- BLOO, I'M TRYING TO BOWL HERE.
- OH, SO WEAK!
- BLOO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I REALLY HAVE TO GET A--
STRIKE?
- QUARTER.
- BLOO, YOU DO THAT?
- YEAH, WHAT OF IT?
- THAT'S WHAT OF IT.
BLOO, TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE.
- WHAT?! BUT--
- NO BUTS.
YOU'RE BAD, HE'S GOOD.
HE'S IN, YOU'RE OUT.
- BUT I WANT TO BE PART OF THE TEAM.
- GOOD. GO POLISH THE BALLS.
GO SHINE THE SHOES.
GO GET SOME NACHOS.
WAIT, YOU'RE A SMART KID.
GO KEEP SCORE,
JUST DON'T BOWL!
WITH YOU ON OUR TEAM, BLOO,
WE MAY BE ABLE TO BRING THIS COW
BACK IN FROM THE PASTURE!
- YEAH, YEAH. YOU GOT A QUARTER?
- QUARTERS GALORE, MY BOY.
JUST REMEMBER: WHEN I CALL YOUR NAME
YOU WORK YOUR MAGIC.
- ANYTHING YOU SAY, LADY.
ANYTHING YOU SAY.
- KEEP SCORE?
THANKS A LOT.
DUMB COMPUTER DOES IT ALL.
STUPID BOWLING WITH ITS STUPID SHOES
AND ITS STUPID BALLS AND ITS STUPID--
- EXCUSE ME,
YOU'RE THE FRIEND FROM THE PICTURES.
- YES, THAT IS ME,
BOWLING PAUL.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU, SON?
- YOU SEE, I REALLY WANT TO LEARN HOW TO BOWL
REALLY, REALLY WELL.
AND, I MEAN, YOU--
IN THE PICTURES... ALL THOSE TROPHIES...
DO YOU--DO YOU THINK YOU COULD TEACH ME?
- WHY, YES.
I CAN TEACH YOU THE WAY OF THE BALL.
- REALLY?!
- THE QUESTION IS: ARE YOU READY?
- I'M SO READY!
- THEN LET US BEGIN.
TAKE YOUR BALL--
- I DON'T HAVE A BALL.
- THEN, MY CHILD,
YOU DO NOT HAVE A SOUL.
- YEAH, BUT...
I CAN GET A BALL.
- YOU THINK SOULS ARE SO EASY TO COME BY?
- WELL, UH...
THEY HAVE A BUNCH OF BALLS OVER THERE IN THE RACK.
- OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
- OK. - GOOD, GOOD.
- NOW, FIRST, YOU ARE THE BALL.
- I AM THE BALL.
- THE BALL IS YOU.
- THE BALL IS ME.
- WITHOUT THE BALL, YOU ARE NOTHING.
- GOT IT.
- NOW, YOU SEE THOSE PINS?
- YEAH!
- YOU ARE THE PINS.
- BUT I THOUGHT I WAS THE BALL.
- YOU ARE ALSO THE PINS.
- OH. OK.
- THE PINS ARE YOU.
- AND WITHOUT THE PINS...
I AM NOTHING?
- YOU ARE A WISE BOY.
- YEAH, I'M PRETTY QUICK ON THE UPTAKE.
NOW, WHAT ABOUT BOWLING?
- NO BOWLING.
- NO BOWLING?
- NO, YOU ARE NOT READY FOR SUCH A STEP.
- I THINK I AM.
- WHO'S THE GURU HERE?
- YOU ARE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
SO, WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT
ALL ELEMENTS OF THE GAME WILL ALIGN
AND YOU WILL BOWL LIKE NONE HAVE BOWLED BEFORE.
- THAT'S COOL!
'CAUSE ALL I WANT TO DO IS BOWL AS WELL AS--
- BLOO!
STRIKE ONE!
- FEEL THE WEIGHT OF THE BALL.
FEEL THE POWER OF YOUR ARMS.
YOU DON'T NEED YOUR EYES.
THEY WILL DECEIVE YOU, FOOL YOU,
BE YOUR DOWNFALL.
TRUST YOUR BALL.
TRUST IN YOUR SOUL.
IF I COULD RENAME THIS GAME,
IT WOULD BE SOULING, NOT BOWLING.
AND I WOULD BE SOULING PAUL,
AND WE WOULD ALL BE AT THE SOULING ALLEY
THROWING OUR SOULS DOWN THE LANE
TO THE PINS OF LIFE SEEING WHICH WAY THEY FELL.
- THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. - I KNOW.
- BLOO!
STRIKE TWO!
- THIS IS THE ENEMY.
- BUT I THOUGHT THIS WAS ME.
- IT IS YOU.
THIS IS YOUR DARK SIDE.
AND YOU MUST CONTROL THE DARK SIDE.
- WITH MY MIND?
- WITH YOU BALL. - AH!
- BLOO!
STRIKE 3!
- YOU SEE, LIFE IS LIKE A NARROW ROAD.
WE CAN WALK ON THE RIGHT,
WE CAN WALK ON THE LEFT,
OR WE CAN WALK DOWN THE MIDDLE.
- ISN'T WALKING DOWN THE MIDDLE OF A ROAD DANGEROUS?
- WELL, DUH, IN WALKING, YEAH.
IT'S TOTALLY DANGEROUS.
YOU COULD GET, LIKE, HIT BY A CAR OR SOMETHING.
BUT IN BOWLING,
THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD
LEADS US TO VICTORY.
SWEET, SWEET VICTORY.
- BLOO!
OH, NO!
YES!
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
THAT RING-A-DING DINGER
HAS JUST HOPPED, SKIPPED, AND JUMPED US
INTO THE LEAD, JERKINS!
PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND TOOT IT!
- THAT FESTERING FOSTER HAS BEEN
A FLY IN MY FACE CREAM FOR TOO LONG!
SOMETHING'S GOTTA BE DONE--
EVEN IF I HAVE TO BEG, BORROW, OR--
BLOO?
- YOU ARE READY, MY SON.
I'VE TAUGHT YOU ALL THAT CAN BE TAUGHT,
AND YOU HAVE LEARNED ALL THAT CAN BE LEARNED.
NOW, PICK UP YOUR SOUL
AND BOWL IN PEACE.
- NO!
HOW COULD IT BE?
HOW COULD ALL I'VE WORKED FOR BE GONE, GONE, GONE?!
- [LAUGHING]
DID YOU EVER SEE ANYTHING MORE PERFECT THAN THIS?!
LET'S PUT THE FINAL NAIL IN THIS BAD BOY!
♪ BLOO ♪
BLOO!
- YOO-HOO!
- BLOO, WHAT ARE YOU--
- PADDLEBALL.
PADDLEBALL.
- JERKINS, YOU RINGWORM.
GIVE HIM THAT!
- ARE YOU BANANAS, FOSTER?
THERE'S ONE MORE FRAME,
AND THIS BONNIE BLOO
IS GOING TO ROCKET US RIGHT TO THE TOP.
- BUT YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH PLAYERS.
- WELL, THERE'S BEEN A BIT OF A TRAGEDY.
WINNIE'S RUN OUT OF JUICE.
- COME ON.
COME ON!
- [SNICKERING]
- YOU TOOK DOWN ONE OF YOUR OWN?
- NOW, DON'T ACT ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY.
YOU THREW THAT BOY AWAY LIKE AN OLD PAIR OF SUPPORT HOSE.
COME ON, BLOO,
LET'S FINISH THIS GAME.
- I HATE TO SAY IT, MADAM FOSTER,
BUT MAYBE WE HAVE TO THROW IN THE TOWEL.
- OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT ME!
- [LAUGHING]
- YOU?!
YOU IS BAD!
- DON'T YOU REMEMBER, DEAR?
YOU STINK.
- BUT I'VE BEEN TAKING LESSONS.
- UH, BOWLING LESSONS?
- YES, BOWLING LESSONS.
- SO, YOU'RE TELLING ME
THAT YOU CAN ASSURE OUR VICTORY
BY ROLLING THAT BALL, GETTING THE STRIKE,
AND WINNING THE GAME?
- WHAT? AM I SPEAKING FRENCH HERE?
WATCH AND BE STUPEFIED.
- IT'S ALMOST YOURS, BLOO.
YOU WIN THIS FOR ME,
AND THAT PADDLEBALL IS GOING HOME WITH YOU.
- OOOH!
- I AM THE BALL.
I AM THE PINS.
PINS ARE MY ENEMY.
I AM MY ENEMY.
I MUST ROLL MY SOUL DOWN THE CENTER OF THE LANE
AND DESTROY MY ENEMY--
THUS, DESTROYING MYSELF.
BUT IN DESTROYING MYSELF, FINDING PEACE.
- PADDLEBALL.
PADDLEBALL.
- YES!
- NO!
- BUT I TOOK LESSONS!
- LESSONS ON STINKING WORSE?!
- LESSONS FROM HIM!
- HIM?
HE CAN'T BOWL FOR BEANS.
- WHAT?!
YES, HE CAN!
JUST LOOK AT HIM!
THE PICTURES, THE TROPHIES!
- ALL MINE.
PAUL'S MY IMAGINARY FRIEND,
AND HE'S IN THOSE PICTURES WITH ME.
BUT I'M THE ONE WHO WON ALL THOSE TROPHIES.
- BUT HE'S BOWLING PAUL!
YOU CREATED HIM, SHOULDN'T THAT MEAN HE CAN BOWL?
- HE IS.
I DID.
HE SHOULD,
BUT DON'T.
- SORRY, KID.
- WHAT?!
- PADDLEBALL.
- YES!
- NO!
- [CHEERING]
- JUMPING BIRD DOGS, MAC.
THOSE LOUSY BOWLING LESSONS WON US THE GAME.
- WHAT? REALLY?!
- REALLY.
- WOW! SO...
- SO, WHAT?
- WHERE'S THE TROPHY?
- YEAH, WHERE IS THAT?
- DONDE IS IT?
- TROPHY?
WHY, HO HO HO!
WE DIDN'T WIN ANY TROPHY.
THEY DID.
- [CHEERING]
- WE WEREN'T COMPETING FOR FIRST PLACE.
OH, NO, THAT'S FOR THE GOOD TEAMS.
WE WERE COMPETING FOR FIFTH.
- FIFTH?! - FIFTH?! - FIFTH?!
- YEP, AND I NEARLY GOT YOU THIS TIME, FOSTER.
- NOT ON YOUR TINTYPE, JERKINS!
I HAD IT IN MY HIP POCKET THE WHOLE TIME.
- YEAH, RIGHT.
SO, WE ON NEXT SUNDAY FOR TEA?
- TEA?
- AND CRUMPETS.
- CRUMPETS?
BUT, BUT I THOUGHT JERKINS WAS YOUR ARCHRIVAL.
- DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T ACT CIVILIZED NOW AND AGAIN.
- PADDLEBALL?
PADDLEBALL!
- YOU MEAN THIS THING?
- YES! YES!
- AFTER THAT SLIPSHOD PERFORMANCE,
FORGET IT!
- NO!
PHEW!
HEY! COME ON!
CUT IT OUT!
COME ON, STUPID!
OW! OW!
STOP IT! STOP IT!
COME ON!
- BLOO, IT'S A PADDLEBALL.,
- YEAH, AND IT'S HARD.
- GIVE ME THAT.
- YOU'RE SO COOL, LET ME SEE YOU DO IT.
HUH?!
- NOW WHO'S WEAK?
- I CAN HELP YOU, MY SON.
I AM PADDLE PAUL.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--