CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
- THAT'S THE LAST ONE FROM THE BASEMENT, FRANKIE.
- THANKS, MAC.
I KNOW I PROMISED. UH!
LOOK, I REALLY WANT TO GO, CATHY.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO IT ALL WEEK.
YEAH, WELL, THE BUNNY HAS GOT ME FILING PAPERWORK.
YEAH, HE SURE IS.
LOOK, I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU GUYS NEXT TIME.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
OK, BYE.
ARGH!
IT'S NOT FAIR! I MEAN, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT!
- WHAT'S WRONG, FRANKIE?
- I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS TONIGHT,
BUT HARIMAN'S GOT ME NECK DEEP IN PAPERWORK!
ARGH!
WHY IS MY LIFE SO LAME?
- WHY DON'T YOU GO, FRANKIE? I CAN DO ALL THIS FOR YOU?
- NO, NO. I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU SUFFER, TOO.
- IT'S OK. I DO IT FOR MY MOM ALL THE TIME.
I ORGANIZE HER BANK STATEMENTS.
- REALLY? - YEAH, IT'S EASY.
- OH, MAC, YOU'RE THE BEST!
OH, WHY CAN'T MORE MEN BE LIKE YOU?
- WHATCHA DOING?
- FILING FOR FRANKIE.
- WHY THE HECK ARE YOU DOING THAT?
- 'CAUSE FRANKIE'S THE BEST. - AT WHAT?
- EVERYTHING.
- SHE'S NOT THE BEST AT PADDLEBALL.
I'M THE BEST AT THAT.
- SHE'S JUST...SO AWESOME.
- YOU KNOW, HONESTLY,
I THINK HER COOKING COULD STAND SOME IMPROVEMENT.
THOSE PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES SHE MADE FOR LUNCH
HAD A TAD TOO MUCH PEANUT AND NOT NEARLY ENOUGH BUTTER.
- AH. AHH...
- THANKS FOR LENDING ME YOUR CAR, GRANDMA!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- [STAMMERING]
- AW, YOU GUYS ARE SWEET.
'BYE, GUYS.
- AHHH, SHE'S SO AWESOME.
- AND HOT!
- SHE'S SO NICE.
- AND HOT!
- SHE'S SO COOL.
- AND HOT!
- OH, I ALMOST FORGOT--
THANKS, MAC, YOU'RE THE BEST.
- GIVE IT BACK! THAT WAS MINE!
- I DIDN'T HEAR HER SAY IT WAS FOR YOU.
- YES, YOU DID, NOW GIVE IT!
- NO!
- STUPID BLOO, STEALING MY KISS.
HE'S LUCKY I'M EVEN SHOWING UP TODAY.
- HELLO, MAC, IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
- UM, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
- [HUMMING]
OH, MAC, ISN'T IT WONDERFUL TO BE ALIVE?
- YES. YES, IT IS.
- ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE.
- YES! YES, IT IS.
- OH, MAC, LAST NIGHT I REALIZED WHO THE MAN OF MY DREAMS IS.
- LAST NIGHT?
- AND HE'S THE BEST.
MAC, YOU'RE THE BEST.
- THE BEST?!
- THE ABSOLUTE BEST!
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ LA LA LA... ♪
- BLOO, DID YOU HEAR? FRANKIE'S IN LOVE WITH--
- YEAH, SHE ALREADY TOLD ME. SORRY ABOUT THAT, KID.
- SORRY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- SHE SAID SHE REALIZED IT LAST NIGHT, AND HE'S THE BEST.
- RIGHT, THE BEST. THAT'S ME.
- OH, YOU SILLY, SILLY BOY.
MAC, YOU'RE HAVING DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR.
EVERYONE KNOWS I'M THE BEST.
- BUT LAST NIGHT SHE CALLED ME THE BEST.
- YEAH, WELL, I MEAN, COME ON, MAC.
YOU'RE JUST A KID.
FRANKIE NEEDS A MAN.
- YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN.
- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT A KID.
- YOU'RE YOUNGER THAN ME.
- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT A KID.
- OK, I CREATED YOU WHEN I WAS 3,
SO THAT MEANS YOU'RE ONLY 5.
- WELL, IN DOG YEARS THAT'S...
WHAT'S 5 X 7?
- 35.
BUT YOU'RE NOT A DOG!!
- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT A KID.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
- YAY! HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE!
- HE? - HE?
- WHO THE HECK IS THAT?! - WHO THE HECK IS THAT?!
- OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO COOK TONIGHT.
- LOOK AT HIM PUTTIN' THE MOVES ON HER.
GIVIN' HER PIZZA.
- WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?
[GASP]
BLOO, WHAT IF THIS IS THE GUY FRANKIE WAS TALKING ABOUT?
- HUH?
- THE BEST! THE BEST!
WHAT IF THIS GUY'S THE BEST?
WHAT IF THIS IS THE GUY FRANKIE'S IN LOVE WITH?
- BUT I'M BETTER THAN HIM!
- UMMM, I THINK I HAVE CHANGE IN MY CAR.
- OH, MY GOSH, MAC, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT.
HE'S OLDER THAN US, HE'S GOT A JOB,
HE'S GOT A CAR,
AND HE'S GOT FACIAL HAIR!
HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY COMPETE WITH THAT?
- UHH...120 MINUS 119.50, IS, UH...HOLD ON, I CAN DO THIS.
- LISTEN, I THINK I GOT EXACT CHANGE IN THE HOUSE.
- THEY'RE COMING BACK.
- HIDE!
ALL RIGHT, MAC, IT'S TIME TO PUT OUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE.
- RIGHT.
- NEITHER ONE OF US IS A MATCH
FOR THIS PERFECT SPECIMEN OF MANLINESS.
- AHHH...OOH.
UH, UH, MY BAD.
- RIGHT.
- ESPECIALLY NOT YOU. - RIGHT--HEY!.
- PARTNERS?
- PARTNERS.
- HUH?
- MR. SUPER-RAD MACHO MAN, HUH?
- UH, WELL... - GET OUT.
- WHAT? - I SAID GET OUT!
- AHHHH!
AAAAHHH!
- IT'S WORKING. KEEP THROWING.
OHHH! NO, STOP! PLEEEESE!
AAAAAAHHHH!
[TIRES SQUEALING]
- AND STAY OUT!
- THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO STEAL THE HEART
OF OUR BELOVED FRANKIE!
[TIRES SQUEALING]
- UH-OH.
- STEAL THE HEART OF WHO?
- HER!
- BLOO, SHUT UP.
- I STOLE HER HEART?
- YEAH, MAN. - SHUT UP, ALREADY.
- SHE WAS OURS BEFORE YOU CAME AROUND.
- YOU MEAN, SHE LIKES ME?
- WHAT, AM I SPEAKING FRENCH? - SHUT UP, SHUT UP!
- SHE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU!
- NO!
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
- AHH! WHY'S HE COMING BACK?
- SHUT UP AND THROW.
- 35, 40, 45, 50, AND TWO BUCKS FOR--
[BLOO AND MAC GRUNTING]
OK.
SO, THAT'S 119.50 FOR THE PIZZAS,
AND HERE'S YOUR TIP.
- AHH, A TIP?
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME.
I'LL TREASURE IT ALWAYS.
- RIGHT...UH, YOU TWO WANNA SEE THIS GUY OUT?
- WE'RE WORKING ON IT.
- OK, UH, SEE YA.
- [SIGH]
- BLOO, WE NEED MORE AMMO.
- WE'RE ALL OUT.
- WATCH OUT, BABY. HERE I COME.
- AAHHH!
[DOORBELL RINGING]
- HANG ON A SECOND, WILL.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS GUY TO SHOW UP ALL DAY.
- THIS GUY? - THIS GUY? - THIS GUY?
[HORSE WHINNYING]
[ALL GASPING]
- HE'S GOT A HORSE.
- HE'S GOT MUSCLES.
- HE'S GOT A CAPE!
SHE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH THIS DUDE.
SHE'S IN LOVE WITH THAT GUY!
- HI, YOU'RE THE IMAGINARY PRINCE CHARMING
MISS DAVIS CALLED ABOUT, RIGHT?
NEEDS A HOME?
- WHAT'D SHE SAY? - SHHHH!
- [GASP]
- [GASPING]
- OH, FAIR LADY, FORGIVE MY DISCOURTESY.
FOR A MOMENT, I THOUGHT I HAD DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN.
BUT I SEE NOW THAT HEAVEN HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO ME.
PRAY TELL ME, FAIR DAMSEL,
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING IN MY DREAMS ALL MY LIFE?
- OH, NO, HE'S USING LINES!
- IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST YOU?
- GOOD ONES.
- IS YOUR FATHER AN ALIEN?
BECAUSE YOU ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD.
- REALLY GOOD ONES.
- I HOPE YOU KNOW CPR, BECAUSE YOU TAKE MY BREATH AWAY.
IS THERE AN AIRPORT NEARBY, OR IS THAT MY HEART TAKING OFF?
IF THIS HOUSE WERE A MEAT MARKET,
YOU WOULD BE PRIME RIB.
- WHOA.
- EWWW.
- ALL RIGHT, MAC, UH... WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS,
IT'S TIME TO PUT OUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE.
- RIGHT. - RIGHT.
- NEITHER ONE OF US IS A MATCH FOR THIS PERFECT SPECIMEN
OF MANLINESS.
- RIGHT. - RIGHT.
- ESPECIALLY NOT MAC.
- RIGHT. - RIGHT--HEY!
- PARTNERS? - PARTNERS.
- FINE, BUT STOP SAYING THAT.
- WHAT SAY YOU, ANGEL OF ANGELS?
WILL YOU HAVE ME?
- WELL, YOU CAN STAY IN THE HOUSE
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ASKING,
BUT I WAS OVER GUYS LIKE YOU WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 5.
- BUT, MY LADY.
- HEY, LISTEN, DON'T WORRY.
LITTLE GIRLS EAT UP IMAGINARY PRINCE FRIENDS
LIKE CANDY.
YOU'LL BE ADOPTED IN NO TIME.
[HORSE WHINNYING]
- OH, CRUEL FATE THAT ONE SO FAIR
SHOULD BE CAST UNDER THE SPELL OF AN EVIL WITCH
SO THAT SHE MAY NOT RECOGNIZE HER ONE TRUE LOVE.
BUT I SHALL NOT FAIL THEE, MY DEAREST.
I SHALL FIGHT FOR YOU TO THE END!
FOR TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL.
FAINT HEART NEVER WON FAIR LADY.
WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GET GOING.
WHO THE HECK ARE YOU 3?
[DOORBELL RINGING]
- OH, NO, HE'S EARLY!
- HE? - HE? - HE?
- OH, MY GOSH, I'M SO NERVOUS!
HOW DO I LOOK?
OK, GOOD.
[ALL GASPING]
OH, DYLAN, YOU'RE EARLY.
- I BROUGHT YOU THESE.
- OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.
I'LL JUST GO PUT THESE IN SOME WATER.
[WHISPERING] THIS IS THE GUY I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
- READY?
- YUP. DON'T WAIT UP.
- ALL RIGHT!
MAC, WHAT'S-YOUR-FACE, PRINCEY.
IT'S TIME TO PUT OUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE.
- RIGHT. - RIGHT.
- NONE OF US IS EVEN CLOSE TO A MATCH
FOR THIS PERFECT SPECIMEN OF MANLINESS.
- RIGHT. - RIGHT.
- ESPECIALLY NOT-- - DON'T SAY IT!
- FINE.
ARE WE JUST GONNA STAND BY AND LET OUR BELOVED FRANKIE
GET STOLEN AWAY BY SOME, SOME BOY BAND LOOKING,
NICE CAR DRIVING, BOUQUET OF ROSES BRINGING
PRETTY BOY?
- RIGHT. - RIGHT.
- RIGHT--WAIT.
I MEAN, NO.
- UH, NO.
- YES, NO.
- SO, WHAT SAY YOU,
MY FELLOW FORSAKEN LOVELORN LOSERS?
MY BROKENHEARTED BROTHERS, MY BUDDIES IN...
BEING BRUSHED OFF.
- PARTNERS.
[PIANO PLAYING]
- OOOH, SWANKY.
- WHAT, THIS OLD PLACE?
HELLO, WE HAVE A RESERVATION.
LEE.
- YES, OF COURSE, MR. LEE.
RIGHT THIS WAY, PLEASE.
- OOPS.
HEY, MAC, MUSTACHE ALERT.
- WHERE IS IT, WHERE IS IT?
- IT'S ON THE FLOOR.
HEY, WHAT'S-YOUR-FACE, BEND OVER.
- WHAT?
- BEND OVER. MAC CAN'T REACH THE FLOOR.
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.
WHAT'S-YOUR-FACE, JUST GRAB IT QUICK.
- I TOLD YOU MY NAME IS QUINN.
- WHATEVER. JUST PASS IT UP.
AWESOME.
NO MAN'S A MAN WITHOUT A MUSTACHE
- THIS IS STUPID.
I SHOULD BE ON TOP.
I LOOK MORE LIKE A MAN THAN YOU.
- YEAH, BUT YOU'RE JUST A KID.
- UHHH! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?
YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN!
- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT A KID.
- UMM, EXCUSE ME, BUT AREN'T WE ON A MISSION HERE?
- FINE, FINE, WHERE'S OUR DATE?
TO THE DOOR!
FORWARD, FORWARD.
- I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.
- OW, YOUR FOOT'S IN MY EYE.
- BACK, BACK.
MY LADY.
WILL YOU GET IN HERE?!
- I HATE YOU.
- AHEM.
- OH, RIGHT.
[HIGH-PITCHED] I HATE YOU.
- 4--I MEAN, TWO, PLEASE.
- DO YOU HAVE A RESERVATION?
- WOW, I HEARD THAT'S A REALLY TOUGH MAJOR.
I'M IMPRESSED.
SO, WHAT DO YOU DO NOW THAT YOU'VE GRADUATED?
- WELL, I WORK AT MY GRANDMA'S PLACE.
WELL, YOU SAW IT. YOU WERE THERE.
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU PICKED ME UP.
OH, BOY.
WELL, ANYWAY, IT'S LIKE THIS FOSTER HOME.
YOU KNOW, FOR, LIKE, FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS
WHOSE KIDS DON'T WANT THEM ANYMORE AND STUFF AND SO...
- WOW, THAT'S AMAZING.
I LOVE IMAGINARY FRIENDS.
SO, DO YOU RUN THE PLACE?
MANAGE THE MONEY OR ORGANIZE THE FUNDRAISERS OR...
- UMMM...I, UMMM, YOU KNOW, I CLEAN, AND COOK, AND STUFF.
- OK, STOP, STOP.
WHY, FRANKIE, FANCY MEETING YOU HERE.
HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?
- PPHHHFFT! BLOO?!
- WHY, FRANKIE, YOU OLD GIRL,
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU STILL CALL ME THAT
TERM OF ENDEARMENT.
- UH, HA HA!
DON'T LISTEN TO THIS MANIAC.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, BLOO?
- WHY, I'M ON A DINNER DATE.
AND, PLEASE, CALL ME BY MY FIRST NAME--
ORLANDO.
- ORLANDO BLOO?
- YES.
AND THIS IS MY DATE PRINCE--
UHH...PRIZ, PRIZ, PRINCESS--NO.
PRIN--PRI--PRISSY!
YES, PRISSY!
- HOW DO YOU DO?
- UH, NICE TO MEET YOU?
- DON'T MIND IF WE DO.
- NO, DON'T--AUGHH...
- SO, UH, HOW DO YOU KNOW FRANKIE?
- THIS LUNATIC LIVES AT--
- I'M FRANKIE'S EX-BOYFRIEND.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT!!
NO. HE'S NOT.
- WHY, SCHNOOKUMS, HOW COULD YOU DENY OUR LOVE?
WE WENT OUT FOR 20 YEARS.
- HOW OLD DID YOU SAY YOU WERE?
- I'M 22.
- SO, YOU'VE BEEN DATING SINCE YOU WERE--
- 47, YES.
I MEAN, TWO.
YES, WE WENT TO COLLEGE TOGETHER.
- GET OFF!
DYLAN, THIS IS AN IMAGINARY FRIEND IN A SUIT.
- OH, SUGARPUSS, STOP BEING SILLY.
SHE'S JUST UPSET 'CAUSE I DUMPED HER A WEEK AGO.
- NO, YOU DID NOT!
- SORRY. A WEEK AND AND A HALF AGO.
- STOP IT!
"DO YOU HAVE A MAP?"
WHY?
- I KEEP GETTING LOST IN YOUR EYES.
- OHHH!
ALL RIGHT, I GOT YOUR GAME.
HERE, EAT, MR. REAL MAN.
- UHHHH, DON'T MIND IF I DO.
DON'T MIND IF I DO EAT SOME FOOD.
DON'T MIND IF I DO PICK UP A FORK
AND EAT SOME OF THE FOOD THAT IS ON THE PLATE
ON THE TABLE IN FRONT OF ME.
- OH.
- OH, SILLY ME.
A SPOON CAN'T PICK UP A STEAK.
[BANG, BANG, CLATTER]
LEFT...LEFT...
YOUR OTHER LEFT.
UP, RIGHT. OK, DOWN.
LEFT.
THERE WE GO.
NOW, TO LIFT IT UP INTO MY MOUTH.
AAHHHH.
AHHHHH...
MMMMM...
EXQUISITE.
MMMMM...
SO, DID FRANKIE EVER TELL YOU HOW WE MET?
WELL, I WAS BUSY STUDYING AT MILLIONAIRE SCHOOL,
LEARNING HOW TO BE--
- I'VE HAD ENOUGH--URGH!
- ...WHICH WAS SILLY, REALLY,
BECAUSE I ALREADY MADE A GAZILLION DOLLARS
IN THE PADDLEBALL BUSINESS.
- URGHH!
- ...I JUST WANTED TO GET MY DEGREE.
ANYWAY, FRANKIE WAS WORKING AT THE LOCAL ROLLER DERBY,
AND I JUST HAPPENED TO BE ATTENDING
THE ROLLER DERBY REGIONALS.
AND I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE HER.
SO, AFTER THE GAME, I WENT UP TO HER AND SAID,
"HEY, BABY, I'M A GAZILLIONAIRE."
PARDON ME A MOMENT.
- GET ON WITH IT.
- PRINCE--I MEAN, PRISSY.
DON'T YOU AND FRANKIE NEED TO POWDER YOUR NOSES?
- WHY, YES, OF COURSE.
TIME FOR SOME GIRL TALK.
- PUT ME DOWN! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
DYLAN, I'M SO SORRY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE-- THIS IS TOTALLY NOT ME.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW--
- IT'S OK. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
TAKE YOUR TIME.
- NOW'S OUR CHANCE.
- RIGHT. NOW, LISTEN, YOU...
HEY, HEY, HEY! WHOA, BUDDY!
- JUST AS I THOUGHT.
PATHETIC. SIMPLY PATHETIC.
YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD MUSCLE IN ON MY TERRITORY, HUH?
WELL, I DIDN'T SPEND ALL NIGHT PLAYING MR. NICE GUY
JUST TO HAVE A BUNCH OF LOSERS SHOW UP
TRYING TO STEAL MY PROPERTY.
- PROPERTY?
- FRANKIE IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY.
- YEAH, WE SAW HER FIRST, SO SHE'S OUR PROPERTY.
- OH, I GET IT.
YOU GUYS THOUGHT FRANKIE WAS SWEET ON YOU.
LET ME CLUE YOU GUYS IN ON SOMETHING.
FRANKIE'S JUST BEING NICE TO YOU 'CAUSE SHE FEELS SORRY FOR YOU.
- NUH-UHH!
- FRANKIE'S NICE TO US 'CAUSE SHE'S COOL.
AND SHE LIKES US.
- HA HA!
WHAT ON EARTH MAKES YOU GUYS THINK FRANKIE WOULD LIKE--
SCRATCH THAT--
ANY GIRL WOULD LIKE A DORK,
A KID,
- SEE? I TOLD YOU.
- AND A THING...
- HEY!
- WHEN SHE CAN GO OUT WITH A GUY LIKE ME?
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
NOW, GET OUT OF HERE.
YOU GUYS ARE LUCKY I DON'T KICK YOUR BU--HA HA...
HAAA, FRANKIE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE, UH, YOU KNOW, POWDERING YOUR NOSE.
- I POWDERED IT BEFORE I LEFT.
- SHE'S SO CUTE WHEN SHE'S MAD.
[THUD]
- SO, UH, IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. IT'S--
- IF I HAD A DIME FOR EVERY TIME I HEARD THAT ONE.
- NO, REALLY, I WAS JUST PALIN' AROUND WITH THE KIDS OVER HERE.
CUTE LITTLE GUYS.
HA HA...
- YOU MEAN, MY FRIENDS?
- OHH, THOSE WERE YOUR, UH, FRIENDS?
HA HA HA...
HEY, FRANKIE,
DID I MENTION HOW AWESOME YOU LOOK
IN THAT DRESS?
[CRACK]
[POW]
[CRASH]
- WOW, FRANKIE,
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE THAT GUY A NOSEBLEED.
- YEAH, AND THEN YOU GAVE HIM THE ATOMIC-IST ATOM WEDGIE
I'VE EVER SEEN.
- YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WEARS BRIEFS.
WHAT A DORK.
- WE'RE SORRY WE RUINED YOUR DATE.
- RUINED IT? YOU DID ME A FAVOR.
THAT GUY WAS A ROYAL JERK.
NO OFFENSE, PRISSY.
- NONE TAKEN.
AAAAHHHH...
- BESIDES, I HAVE FRIENDS LIKE YOU.
I DON'T NEED A MAN.
- I'M NOT A MAN. I'M AN IMAGINARY MAN.
- I'M NOT A MAN. I'M A TEENAGER.
- I'M NOT A MAN. I'M JUST A KID.
- HEY, I CAN BEAT THAT. I'M NOT EVEN HUMAN.
- OH, MAN.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--