[BELL CLANGS]
- IS THERE A BURGLAR HIDING UNDER YOUR BED RIGHT NOW?
- COME ON, EVERYONE! IT'S ON! IT'S ON!
- WE'LL LET YOU KNOW AFTER THE BREAK, BUT FIRST,
IT'S TIME FOR OUR WEEKLY "FRIDAY FRIENDS" SEGMENT,
WHERE WE HIGHLIGHT A LOCAL IMAGINARY FRIEND WHO'S UP FOR ADOPTION.
SPUNKY REPORTER ERIN PETERSON, WHAT ADORABLE FRIEND DO YOU HAVE WITH YOU TODAY?
- WELL, TED, TODAY WE HAVE EDUARDO, A LOVABLE LATINO FRIEND
FROM FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS.
NOW, I'VE BEEN TOLD YOU'RE A GUARDIAN FRIEND.
IS THAT RIGHT, EDUARDO?
- SI.
- SO YOU CAN PROTECT THE LUCKY BOY OR GIRL WHO ADOPTS YOU
FROM BAD GUYS, RABID DOGS, GRANDPARENTS, FIRE-BREATHING MONSTERS?
- MONSTERS?
- HA HA HA! THAT'S, UH, CUTE.
SO, EDUARDO, TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.
- EDUARDO...PURPLE?
- UH-HUH. WHAT ELSE?
- EDUARDO LIKE POTATOES.
- WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT!
EDUARDO IS A PURPLE GUARDIAN FRIEND WHO LIKES POTATOES.
CHECK OUR WEB SITE FOR ALL THE ADOPTION INFO.
I'LL BE BACK NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF "FRIDAY'S FRIEND,"
ALONG WITH "MONDAY'S PET" AND "WEDNESDAY'S LOST SOCKS AND MISPLACED KEYS."
BACK TO YOU, TED.
- THE NAME'S TODD.
- THAT WAS GREAT, EDUARDO!
- YEAH, YOU'RE A NATURAL IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA--
SO WELL-SPOKEN AND COURAGEOUS.
- REALLY? GRACIAS!
- WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?
YOU GOT TO BE ON TV? THE TV?
- I'VE BEEN ON, TOO. - ME, TOO!
- [CLUCKS] - AND ME!
- YOU'VE ALL BEEN ON TV?
WHY WASN'T I INFORMED ABOUT THIS?
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN MY WEEKLONG DREAM TO BE ON TV!
- BUT, BLOO, "FRIDAY'S FRIEND" IS JUST FOR FRIENDS WHO ARE UP FOR ADOPTION.
YOU'RE NOT, BECAUSE YOU HAVE MAC, WHO--
- FORGET MAC! I WANT FAME! FAME, I SAY!
I DON'T CARE ABOUT MAC!
- DUDE, I'M RIGHT HERE.
- SO...UH...
WHAT'S GOING--
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
[TELETYPE MACHINE CLICKING]
- TED!
- IT'S TODD!
- SPUNKY REPORTER ERIN PETERSON!
- THAT'S ME.
- OH, EWIN, PWEASE HELP ME.
I'M JUST A POOR, ADORABLE ORPHAN WHO NEEDS A FWIENDWY HOME. WHOA!
- OH, AREN'T YOU JUST THE CUTEST LITTLE THING?
- YES, MA'AM.
- I'M SORRY, CUTIE, BUT WE'VE ALREADY DONE "FRIDAY'S FRIEND."
BUT YOU CAN COME BACK NEXT WEEK, AND WE CAN--
- OK. I'LL JUST GO BACK TO THE SCAWY AWWEY
AND SLEEP IN THE COLD, WET GUTTER.
I'LL BE FINE FOR ONE MORE WEEK.
[COUGHING]
- OH, MY. ARE YOU SICK, LITTLE FELLA?
- [COUGHING LOUDLY]
THE CONSUMPTION. BUT DON'T WORRY. I'LL MAKE IT.
[COUGHING AND WHEEZING] I'LL...MAKE...IT.
- AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO FIND A HOME FOR THIS SPECIAL LITTLE GUY.
- GOSH. THANKS, EWIN.
I PROMISED MYSELF I WASN'T GONNA CRY.
AND LET ME JUST ADD ONE MORE THING, IF I MAY.
I PWEDGE TO BE THE BESTEST FRIEND TO MY NEW FAMIWY.
I'LL LOVE THEM AND HUG THEM FOREVER.
BACK TO YOU, TED.
- IT'S TO-- OH, HECK.
I'LL CHANGE MY NAME FOR YOU.
HANG TOUGH, LITTLE MAN.
- [HUMMING A TUNE]
- BLOO! - WHAT?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHAT?"
WE JUST SAW YOUR PERFORMANCE ON TV!
- OH, IT AIR ALREADY?
HOW DID IT COME OUT? BECAUSE IT FELT GOOD. I REALLY THINK I NAILED IT.
- BLOO! YOU'RE NOT UP FOR ADOPTION!
- I KNOW. I'M AN ACTOR.
A THESPIAN, IF YOU WILL, AND THIS IS JUST THE KIND OF EXPOSURE I NEED
IF I'M EVER GONNA MAKE IT IN THIS CRAZY BUSINESS.
- BUT YOU TRICKED THE TV STATION AND ALL ITS VIEWERS!
- FRANKIE, FRANKIE, FRANKIE...FRANKIE.
FRANKIE, "TRICKED"?
I LIKE TO THINK I ENCHANTED THEM.
JUST THINK OF ALL THE DIRECTORS AND PRODUCERS WHO SAW ME.
WHY, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF I WAS DISCOVERED BY ONE OF THEM SOON.
THAT WOULD LEAD TO A HILARIOUS AND DRAMATIC ADVENTURE, DON'T YOU THINK?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- [SIGHS] I'LL GET IT.
- BLOO, BABY, PAL, AMIGO. FINALLY WE MEET.
JUST SAW YOU ON THE TUBE AND I JUST HAD TO HAVE YOU, KID.
I WANT TO ADOPT YOU RIGHT NOW!
- OH, SORRY. I'M NOT REALLY UP FOR ADOPTION.
SEE, THAT WAS JUST AN ACTING GIG TO ATTRACT A HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER.
- BUT I AM A HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER. I AM THE BIGGEST PRODUCER IN TINSELTOWN.
YOU EVER HEARD OF "THE GOOPLES IN SPACE"?
- NO. - TERRIBLE MOVIE, NEVER RELEASED.
BUT THAT IS NOT THE KIND OF PROJECT I PRODUCE.
I TAKE ON MEANINGFUL PROJECTS-- BIG, EXCITING PROJECTS THAT REACH THE MASSES,
AND I GOT JUST THE PART FOR YOU, BABY.
NOW, ARE YOU IN OR ARE YOU IN? ARE YOU IN OR ARE YOU IN?
- I'M IN!
- THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. JUST SIGN THIS CONTRACT.
STANDARD ACTING AGREEMENT. SIGN HERE AND HERE AND HERE.
AND HERE AND HERE AND HERE AND HERE AND HERE.
HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, AND HERE AND HERE AND HERE AND HERE AND HERE.
GREAT, KID, JUST GREAT. ARE YOU READY TO BE A STAR?
- YES! - THEN LET'S GO.
- WOW! A LIMO!
- YEAH. I'M PARKED RIGHT NEXT TO IT.
- UH, HEY THERE.
AW, NUTS. BODY ODOR, YOU'VE THWARTED ME AGAIN.
- HEY, WHAT IS THAT?
- GOT B.O.? GET DEO!
- WOW! IT'S DEO, THE DEODORANT ALLY!
WHOA! IT'S FAST-ACTING AND MAGICAL.
- I LOVE ANTIPERSPIRANT GUYS.
[LOUD SMOOCH]
- DEO BRAND DEODORANT. DEO WITH IT!
STRONG ENOUGH FOR AN APE, BUT pH-BALANCED FOR YOU.
- WOW! - AWESOME!
- [CLUCKING]
- I WOULD HAVE KILLED FOR THAT PART!
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
- I'M...[SNIFFS] SO...PROUD.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE I KNOW A REAL CELEBRITY.
- DEO, CAN ME HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
- IT'S THE ROLL-ON I WAS BORN TO PLAY.
AI YI YI!
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
- [SPEAKING SPANISH]
- [CROWD CLAMORING]
- DEO! DEO! DEO! - WHO ARE YOU WEARING?
- DEO!
- DEO! SAY YOUR CATCHPHRASE FOR ME!
- GOT B.O.? GET DEO!
- [CROWD CHEERING]
- AND NOW, BACK TO "INSIDE THE ACTOR'S BRAIN,"
WITH SPECIAL GUEST, DEO.
- YOU'RE A TRUE TRIPLE THREAT: ACTING, DEODORIZING, AND ACTING.
I HEAR YOU JUST ACCEPTED A ROLE AS A SITCOM FATHER.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
WE JUST SHOT THE PILOT FOR "WHAT'S THE BIG DEO?"
WHICH WILL DEBUT IN 3 SECONDS.
- 3... - 2... - UNO!
- AND NOW, IT'S TIME FOR...
♪ "WHAT'S THE BIG DEO?" ♪
- DEO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT TROUT?
- I'M PAINTING IT ORANGE BEFORE JUNIOR COMES HOME,
SO HE DOESN'T FIND OUT I ACCIDENTALLY FLUSHED HIS GOLDFISH.
[CANNED LAUGHTER]
WHAT'S THE BIG DEO?
- TUNE IN NEXT WEEK, WHEN DEO JUMPS A SHARK.
[SPEED-DIALS]
[LINE RINGS]
- BLOO, THAT WAS AMAZ--
OH. WHO ARE YOU?
I DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD AN ASSISTANT.
WELL, CAN I TALK TO HIM?
IN A--AN APPOINTMENT?
3 WEEKS? BUT I'M HIS BEST FRIEND.
I--I'M SURE HE'S TALKED ABOUT ME.
MAC.
M-A-C.
HE HASN'T? OH.
OK. BYE.
[DIAL TONE]
- ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, THAT'S A WRAP. GOOD WORK TODAY.
- [SIGHS] FINALLY.
- HEY, HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- BACK HOME TO FOSTER'S.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE WERE DONE FOR THE DAY.
- OH, NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
WE'RE DONE, BUT YOU CAN'T GO BACK TO FOSTER'S. YOU'RE UNDER CONTRACT.
- SO? - DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING, KID?
ACTORS UNDER CONTRACT DON'T GET TO GO HOME.
THEY HAVE TO STAY WITH THE PRODUCTION.
HERE, YOU CAN SLEEP IN THIS. - WHAT?
- HEY! IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT, YOU CAN QUIT, GO HOME,
AND STOP BEING A FAMOUS CELEBRITY.
SO, WHICH IS IT?
- I WANT TO BE A CELEBRITY.
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
- I WANT TO BE A CELEBRITY!
- THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. NOW, GET IN YOUR CAGE LIKE A GOOD LITTLE CELEBRITY, HUH?
[CLANG]
- HEY, RISE AND SHINE. YOU GOT A JAM-PACKED SCHEDULE TODAY.
- BUT I HAVEN'T EATEN IN TWO DAYS.
- DEO, DO YOU HATE YOUR FANS?
- NO.
- THEN WHY DO YOU INSIST ON MAKING THEM WAIT?
COME ON! LET'S GET A MOVE ON, SLOWPOKE!
- DEO! DEO! DEO! DEO...
- WELL, DEO, GIVE THEM WHAT THEY CAME FOR.
- GOT B.O.? GET DEO.
- [CROWD CHEERING] - GOOD BOY. LET'S MOVE.
- GOT B.O.? GET DEO!
- [CROWD CHEERING]
- GOT B.O.? GET DEO.
[APPLAUSE]
- BLOO!
- WHOA THERE, KIDS. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
- TO SEE BLOO. - THERE'S NO BLOO HERE.
THAT'S A DEO.
- THAT'S WHAT I MEANT. HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.
- SURE, SURE. HE'S EVERYBODY'S BEST FRIEND.
WAIT YOUR TURN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
- BLOO! BLOO!
- MAC?
- I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DIDN'T SAY HI TO US.
- MAYBE HE DIDN'T SEE YOU.
- OH, HE SAW US.
I GUESS HE'S JUST TOO BIG OF A STAR NOW.
- NO. MUST BE 'NOTHER REASON.
- [CLUCKING]
- HE LOOKED ME RIGHT IN THE EYES, YOU GUYS, AND I LOOKED INTO HIS.
- WHAT DID YOU SEE?
- NOTHING.
- LET ME CALL MAC JUST ONCE. I MISS HIM!
- I TOLD YOU, YOU DON'T NEED HIM ANYMORE.
IT'S EASIER FOR YOU IF YOU CUT HIM OUT COLD TURKEY.
- BUT-- - HEY!
CELEBRITIES DON'T COMPLAIN!
[CLANG]
[SENTIMENTAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
- DEO, HONEY, BABY! WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED? WE GOT TO GO, GO, GO!
- NO!
I'M NOT DOING ANY MORE APPEARANCES,
CORPORATE SPEAKING GIGS, SLEEPING IN A CAGE,
OR STICKING MY HEAD INTO SOME GUY'S UNDERARM EVER AGAIN!
I QUIT.
- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, KID? DON'T MINCE WORDS.
- I QUIT.
I JUST WANT TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT,
THEN GO HOME TO SEE MY FRIENDS.
I QUIT!
- YOU CAN'T QUIT. - SURE, I CAN.
WATCH. I QUIT!
- I OWN YOU, KID.
THAT CONTRACT YOU SIGNED--
THAT WASN'T AN ACTING CONTRACT,
IT WAS ADOPTION PAPERS.
SO, AS YOUR LEGAL GUARDIAN, I SAY YOU CAN'T QUIT!
- BUT...I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ADOPTED.
- "I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ADOPTED."
WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE ON TELEVISION SAYING THAT YOU DID.
YOU ASKED FOR THIS.
NOW, YOU ARE GOING TO GET IN YOUR LITTLE COSTUME AND YOU'RE GOING TO PERFORM
YOUR LIVE VARIETY SHOW FOR MILLIONS OF TV VIEWERS LIKE WE PLANNED!
YOU GOT THAT, PUNK?
- Y-YES, SIR.
- MAC, "THE DEO VARIETY HOUR" IS ABOUT TO START.
- I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT WATCHING.
- [CLUCKING]
- BECAUSE BLOO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT US ANYMORE,
SO WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT HIM?
HE HASN'T BEEN HOME IN FOREVER.
HE HASN'T CALLED IN WEEKS.
HE DIDN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE US WHEN WE SAW HIM.
- BUT ES BLOO, YOUR AMIGO.
- NOT ANYMORE, ED.
NOT ANYMORE.
- PLACES, EVERYONE. 30 SECONDS TILL CURTAIN.
- SO, DEO, YOU READY FOR YOUR BIGGEST SHOW TO DATE?
- I TOLD YOU, I QUIT. I'M NOT GOING OUT THERE.
- 10 SECONDS UNTIL SHOW TIME. 10 SECONDS.
- LISTEN, KID, THIS IS A LIVE EVENT, BROADCAST TO EVERY HOME IN THE WORLD!
- EVERY HOME? - THAT'S RIGHT.
- IN, 5, 4, 3...
- OK! I'LL DO IT!
- THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
- 2, 1.
- FROM HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA,
IT'S "THE DEO GOOD TIME VARIETY HOUR,"
STARRING DEO!
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- DEO!
- THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS FIRST NUMBER
TO MY EVIL PRODUCER KIP, WHO KIDNAPPED ME AND WON'T LET ME GO.
HIT IT!
♪ KIP SNIP IS HIS NAME, PRODUCING IS HIS GAME ♪
♪ HE PROMISED FORTUNE AND FAME BUT NOW I CAN'T GO HOME AND HE'S TO BLAME! YOW! ♪
♪ NO, NO, NO, I CAN'T GO HOME AND HE'S TO BLAME ♪
♪ BUT I'M DEO-O-O, I'M DEO ♪
♪ AND I CAN'T GO HOME! ♪
♪ SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS MAN TONIGHT ♪
[SONG ENDS]
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- HUH. NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
- MUST BE NEW.
- DOCTOR, DOCTOR! MY WIFE THINKS SHE'S A PORCUPINE.
- WELL, THAT'S A PRICKLY SITUATION.
[COMICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- DOCTOR, DOCTOR, I JUST SWALLOWED A ROLL OF FILM.
- WELL, LET'S HOPE NOTHING DEVELOPS.
[COMICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- DOCTOR, DOCTOR, KIP THE PRODUCER FORCES ME TO SLEEP IN A CAGE.
- WELL, SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE TWO TENTS.
UH, WAIT.
WHAT DID YOU SAY? - NOTHING.
[PIANO INTRO PLAYING]
[TAP-DANCING ON TV]
- DO YOU HEAR THAT? - SI.
- THAT'S MORSE CODE. BLOO IS TAPPING A SECRET MESSAGE!
- WHAT'S IT SAY?
- HELP...ME...
HELP...ME.
"HELP ME, MAC."
OH, MY GOSH! HE NEEDS HELP! BUT WHY?
- WHO KNOWS? FIRST I'VE HEARD OF IT.
BEFORE THIS, HE JUST DID FUNNY SKETCHES AND SONGS,
LIKE "MY EVIL PRODUCER HAS KIDNAPPED ME AND WON'T LET ME GO,"
THE "SOMEBODY SAVE ME MAGIC SHOW,"
AND "A LITTLE HELP FROM MY IMAGINARY FR--"
I AM SO STUPID.
- WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!
[SLOW PIANO PLAYING]
- ♪ I COME IN ALL SORTS AND SCENTS ♪
♪ COOL MUSK AND FRESH BREEZE ♪
♪ BUT I'VE COME TO MY SENSES AND I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN AROUND THE WORLD AND NOW I'M HOMESICK ♪
♪ YES, I'M JUST ANOTHER USED-UP DEODORANT STICK ♪
♪ BEING A ROLL-ON ISN'T ALL THAT IT SEEMS ♪
♪ IT'S NOT ALL FANCY PARTIES AND SHOOTING DEODORANT BEAMS ♪
♪ I'M ALL OUT OF GEL ♪
♪ I'M DONE WITH THIS SHTICK ♪
- ♪ OH, HE'S JUST ANOTHER USED-UP DEODORANT STICK ♪
♪ THROW HIM AWAY ♪
♪ HE'S EXHAUSTED HIS TRICK ♪
- ♪ I'M JUST ANOTHER ♪
♪ USED-UP ♪
♪ DEODORANT STICK ♪
- ♪ LET ME BRIGHTEN YOUR SMILE ♪
- ♪ I WASH THE BAD TIMES AWAY ♪
- [CLUCKING A TUNE]
- ♪ I HELP PREVENT TOOTH DECAY ♪
- TOILETRY FRIENDS, TAKE ME HOME.
- STOP 'EM! DON'T LET 'EM GET AWAY!
- ♪ I OFFER ADVANCED ODOR CONTROL AND WETNESS PROTECTION ♪
♪ BUT MY FRIENDS OFFER MORE, LIKE LOVE AND AFFECTION ♪
♪ I ROLL ON CLEAR, WITH NO WHITE RESIDUE ♪
♪ BUT NOW IT IS TIME TO BID YOU ADIEU ♪
- [RASPBERRY]
- ♪ THERE MUST BE MORE TO LIFE THAN ODORS... ♪
♪ OH, I'M JUST ANOTHER USED-UP DEODORANT STICK ♪
[GASPS]
AAAH!
♪ I'M DONE BEING ANOTHER MINDLESS CORPORATE GIMMICK ♪
♪ YEAH! I'M JUST ANOTHER DEPLETED DEODORANT STICK ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT! I'M JUST ANOTHER JADED DEODORANT STICK ♪
♪ OH, I'M JUST ANOTHER USED-UP-- ♪
- BLOO! LOOK OUT!
- ♪ DEODORANT STICK! ♪
[GASPS]
- NOT SO FAST, DEO! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
I CREATED YOU! I OWN YOU!
- NO, KIP, YOU DIDN'T CREATE ME.
MAC, MY BEST FRIEND, CREATED ME,
FOR I AM BLOOREGARD Q. KAZOO,
IMAGINARY FRIEND!
NOT SOME FLASHY MARKETING CAMPAIGN DESIGNED TO GET PEOPLE
TO BUY A SHODDY DEODORANT PRODUCT THAT DOESN'T EVEN WORK!
- [CROWD GASPING]
- THAT'S RIGHT, AUDIENCE!
DEO BRAND DEODORANT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE PEOPLE SMELL BETTER.
- [GASP] - [CAT SCREECHES]
- OH!
- YOU THINK I CARE THAT PEOPLE KNOW MY PRODUCT STINKS?
YOU THINK I CARE HOW PEOPLE STINK? I DON'T CARE!
- [CROWD GASPS]
- IN FACT, DEO BRAND DEODORANT MAKES PEOPLE SMELL WORSE!
- OH!
- THAT'S IT, PAL. WE'RE TAKING YOU DOWNTOWN.
- YOU'RE SPENDING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ROTTING IN PRISON.
- ARRESTING ME? FOR WHAT?
- ARTICLE 254, SECTION 3-- FALSE ADVERTISING!
- NO!
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- WELL, THAT'S OUR SHOW, FOLKS.
AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR.
- ♪ POTATOES, POTATOES ♪
♪ POTATOES, POTATOES, EVERYBODY EAT POTATOES ♪
♪ THIS SPUD'S FOR YOU ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--